dani . . . ★彡

i.

soulmates were a weird concept to you from the moment you learned about them. wveryone around you - friends, family, coworkers - have always been excited to find the people they’re meant to be with for the rest of their lives. you never understood the hype, much less how the actuality of it all was ever achievable in the first place. everyone whose timer you witnessed ticking down almost always met their death sentence, so you had every right to be apprehensive about whether it truly worked or if you've been fed lies for your entire life.

everyone was born with a timer on their left wrist with chunky black squares and beaming red digits that never lit up until you reached a certain age in your life. yours started on your sixteenth birthday with the fresh set of bold letters reading 1,095 days. that was exactly three years, no more, no less. it was a rare occurrence someone would ever be branded with the same date as their birthday, but the universe just seemed to hate you more and more for not believing it’s incredibly stupid logic. your nineteenth birthday was either going to be magical or tragic for those around you, but you already knew everything was going to take a turn for a worse, so why stress about it?

that day was now exactly a week away and your parents and group of friends were stressed out more than ever because they weren’t sure if they should plan a party or a funeral. you told them all not to worry about it, that you didn’t care, but they never seemed to listen. which was fine, you were used to people losing their minds over your slowly deteriorating time, but you just wished that once in a while someone would pay attention to how you felt. 

especially now, where your two idiot best friends were frantically pacing the living room in your shared apartment with their thoughts spewing directly from their mouths out into the open. they had absolutely no filter, so talks about a gruesome death and an unforgettable birthday bash were the main topics.

“guys, seriously, it’s fine. i really don’t want you to be in a constant state of distress because i’m going to die before you do,” you said.

yujin stopped in his tracks, his eyes wide with bewilderment as he gasped, “y/n, if you say anything like that one more time i’m going to kick you.”

you merely shrugged, “i’m just speaking the truth.”

gyuvin, who had just thrown himself onto the plush loveseat, sighed loudly but didn’t say a word. you knew that every time you talked about this you made them upset, and tension was even higher now that the numbers on your arm had a seven on them. you just wished they would accept your fate and move on, because really, you didn’t think it was a big deal. 

“come on, please don’t be upset with me,” your voice grew soft at the sight of their somber faces and your own realization that this was having more of an effect on them than you initially thought, “if i am going to die, let’s make this last week one of the best we’ve had in our lives, okay?”

yujin and gyuvin shared a look before they finally nodded and you were engulfed in a bone crushing hug. it felt good to feel their arms around you, because at the end of the day, you needed them more than anyone else in the world. you just hoped that they would be able to move on past it all and continue to live for you. after all, they adorned a hefty amount more numbers than you did, so they still had a while. 

“we love you, y/n, and we get mad at you because we care so much,” gyuvin whispered, so it felt like it was only the three of you in the whole universe, “now are you going to let us plan a party or not?”

“please let us plan a party!” yujin exclaimed.

you huffed in mock annoyance, “fine, but you have to promise me you won’t go too crazy. i don’t want you guys to get your hopes up and the outcome be worse than you expect.”

“deal.”

three days after your compromise with your friends, you were sat at your favorite restaurant, where they wanted to ask your opinion on some of the party decorations. however, the initial reason was soon deflated due to you recounting a dream you had. to say they were surprised was an understatement.

"you what?” gyuvin exclaimed, causing you to cringe back into your spot of the booth. he and yujin shared almost the same expression the moment you began recounting the news to them.

slowly, you replied, “i told you, i had a dream about someone i don’t know. it was so weird though, because i couldn’t see their face whatsoever.”

and it was true. the past two nights you’d had the same exact dream. the first time, things were foggy and clouded, making it to where you could only hear his voice. however, the second night, you could make out a bright smile and glittery brown eyes, but nothing more. you met your friends’ gazes, shrugging your shoulders, “it’s really not that big of a deal. i don’t know why you guys are so surprised about it.”

“you are such a dumbass,” yujin replied as he buried his face in his hands, his voice muffled as he spoke the next time, “have you not listened to a single thing we were taught about the timers in school?”

“no! i’ve always slept, you should know that. i sat next to you during the lectures.”

gyuvin looked as if he were about to slam his head into the wall next to him, “it’s literally common sense to know that when you have a dream about someone you don’t know when your timer is almost up that it’s your soulmate.”

you rolled your eyes, shoving rice from the plate in front of you into your mouth to avoid saying anything that could upset them. no matter what anyone said, you just couldn’t even begin to think how it’s logical to believe the stuff school fed you, especially when it came to those numbers. you were absolutely not going to become brainwashed into thinking that a meager dream could have any significant correlation with your timer.

“i think you guys are just trying to get into my head to make me believe these stupid things are actually worth my time,” you laughed.

“it sounds to me like you’re trying to tell yourself not to actually take what we say into consideration,” gyuvin stated matter-of-factly, spooning a mouthful of the stew he’d ordered into his mouth, with an eyebrow quirked up in question. yujin suppressed a smirk next to him.

you fell silent at his words. it wasn’t because you believed him, because you certainly did not, but you were done talking about it. you made a promise to yourself not to utter a single word about your dream around either of your best friends - you knew they would do this - but your tongue had different plans for you and now the situation was a mess. their accusing glances, wide grins, and shared looks were enough to give it away.

you threw enough cash to pay for your meal on the table and scooted out of the booth, your lips pressed into a thin line, “i’ll see you guys back at the apartment.”

“y/n, wait!” yujin called after you, his voice faltering slightly, “we didn’t mean to upset you!”

“just let them go, yujin, all we ever do is make them mad anymore. maybe it’s best to have some time apart.”

gyuvin’s words sent a pang of guilt and sadness to your chest, and it took everything you had not to choke on a sob right then and there. it took a lot for him to say something that could be hurtful and knowing you were the one that caused it made you want to scream until your voice went hoarse. however, you refused to turn back and apologize, because you weren’t the only one in the wrong. they were just as much at fault as you were. 

soon, you found yourself sat on a swing in the park a few blocks from your apartment complex, tears staining your cheeks and your heart hurting. what if your friends were right and you were just blowing the entire soulmate thing way out of proportion? was everyone else you’d seen meet their death just the less fortunate? questions flooded your mind and had no intention of stopping any time soon. you felt dizzy from your brain taking on so much at once and you were beyond grateful for the seat below your body that kept you steady. 

you never thought that you would consider having a soulmate as a possibility, but here you were, wallowing in self-pity and hatred for yourself for causing everyone around you grief just because you couldn’t seem to see the logic until four days before your timer ended. sighing, you aggressively wiped away the remaining tears on your skin and rose from your spot. it was about time you started to head back to your apartment. 

an apology was long overdue anyway.

ii.

thin fog swirled around your ankles as you walked toward the shadowy figure just in your line of vision. the soft pink glow of the sky reflected in his eyes - which were as sparkly and happy as ever - and glimmered beautifully in his hair. he seemed far beyond your grasp, and just when you thought you were getting closer to him, he was even further back than before.

what originally started out as a walk became a light jog in a desperate attempt to reach him. you swore for a moment you could catch a glimpse of one of his features you’d previously been unable to see before, but it was gone just as you were about to reach him. you were now broken out into a sprint, your legs burning and heart racing.

you needed to see him. 

but, he just kept getting further and further away, his gaze haunting you with unanswered questions and a plethora of what if’s. you refused to give up. you pushed your legs harder, extending them to your absolute best ability to cover more distance between you and his dark presence. with your arm stretched out, you called, “wait, please!”

the boy finally stopped - though it was unclear if it was because of your desperation or exhausted state - and held his hand out for you to take. you forced your legs to a stop, your eyes frantically searching the features visible to you to try and cling on to what little you were offered. the same two features as before; his hair and his eyes. 

for a fleeting moment, you saw something flicker across the the lower part of his face, just beneath his nose. However, just like that, it was gone, but you knew exactly what it was.

a gummy smile.

iii.

it was finally your birthday, and the day that you would be meeting whatever fate you had in store. you had woken up at ten o’clock, thankfully, but now it was five o’clock and you still had six hours and twenty minutes left on your timer, so anything was possible. you were a lot more nervous than you expected, but since you’d spent your entire life resenting this day, it wasn’t as overbearing as you imagined it would be. 

the moment you entered into the kitchen, yujin and gyuvin were showering you in hugs and loads of “happy birthday, y/n”s but the troubled looks in their eyes were hard to miss. you could have sworn you saw a tear slip onto yujin’s cheek and that gyuvin’s breathing was slightly uneven, but you decided not to comment on it. not on this day. you didn’t think you could live with yourself if you sparked an argument on what could be some of the last moments you had with them.

instead, you hugged them both for a good five minutes, relishing in the feeling of security and comfort their grips held. the nagging in the back of your mind told you to enjoy as much of their company as you could in those remaining thirteen hours, because you very well could never get it again. and neither could they. pushing the thoughts back, you gladly dug into the dinner the pair made for you and watched the drama reruns that were playing on the television in the living room. it was a favorite among the three of you, so it only felt right to turn it on and delve into the world of your favorite characters.

about an hour later, your friends ordered you to stay in the apartment and get ready for your party while they went and set up, which was code for “hey, we don’t want some freak accident to happen before your timer is up so just stay here where we know you’re safe,” but you certainly weren’t complaining. as of right now, the safer, the better.

once left alone until they were to come to pick you up, you dropped to your knees in the middle of the kitchen and sobbed. this entire situation was all too real, and you could feel the steady grip you once had on being sure you were ready to accept your death starting to slip through your fingertips. you had no right to be upset, this was the day you were waiting for your whole life just so you could prove to everyone that you were right.

but you were just so scared.

there were so many what if’s, so many unknown factors of what the rest of your evening had in store. you weren’t sure you were ready to find out, but your timer was dead set on getting you to that point. the more you looked at the crimson numbers, the more your belly twisted and turned. you hoped that if you were to die, it was quick and painless, and if you were to meet your soulmate, you wouldn't be the most awkward person in the world.

you sat on the cold tile with silent tears flowing down your cheeks for what felt like an eternity, but only ended up being twenty minutes before you finally pulled yourself together and forced your legs to take you into your bedroom so you could get dressed. you had less than a couple hours before yujin and gyuvin would be back, and if you didn’t look collected and put together, all hell would break loose. you chuckled at the thought while you threaded your legs through your skinny jeans and put your top on. 

by the time your best friends had come back to get you, you were going stir crazy penned up inside of the apartment, so you were glad to finally be going somewhere. the drive there was full of music blasting and lots of laughs, but the sadness was still heavy in the air. you couldn’t blame them, though, because you definitely felt the same way. 

once at the venue, you couldn’t help but gasp at the sight. everything was outside, fairy lights casting a warm glow across the otherwise dark section of the area you were in. a bonfire was already raging in the middle of it all. people circled around it with drinks in their hands and smiles stretching across their faces. you couldn’t believe how many people actually came or how much yujin and gyuvin had  outdone themselves with the entire setup. 

“this is so beautiful, guys, thank you,” was the only thing you could manage to exert from your lungs before you were pulling them both into a tight hug, suppressing the fresh tears that threatened to spill over at the snap of a finger.

gyuvin laughed softly, “anything for you.”

“we love you, you know that, right?” yujin inquired, pulling back slightly so he could meet his gaze with yours, “so much.”

“i love you guys too.”

your moment only lingered for a few moments after that, because next thing you knew, people were bounding over to you and wishing you a happy birthday. hao and hanbin, who you hung out with occasionally in high school. taerae from the time you dared to sneak out of your parents’ house just to go on a midnight mcdonald’s run with him. matthew and ricky, your old roommates before you decided to move in with yujin and gyuvin. many of old classmates and even a few people you didn’t know. all for you.

you could feel yourself gaining control over your nerves and body once more as you conversed with everyone. all of the weighted thoughts were nearly forgotten about. that is, until you decided to steal a glance at the remaining time left on your wrist. you could feel your chest tighten and your breath hitch in your throat.

three minutes.

that was it. three meager minutes until you either died or met the person you were supposed to be with for the rest of your life. you swallowed harshly. it was best you didn’t mention anything and cause everyone to go into a state of panic, so instead you practically glued your arm to your side and refused to look at the time anymore. whatever was going to happen was left in the hands of fate now.

you took a drink from the cup in your hand, craving for a distraction from the anxiety that was caused from looking at your timer. a light tap on your shoulder was able to be felt and you turned to find yujin, who was smiling widely, “i wanted you to meet my friend, gunwook, who i told you was studying abroad! i figured i would invite him to the party since he was back in town.”

your gaze shifted to the boy that was stood next to yujin. the moment your eyes met with his, a spark was lit and it completely engulfed you from the inside out. the world around you faded, leaving you with only him. his dark brown hair that was illuminated by the light of the bonfire, his honey brown eyes the sparkled like the stars that blanketed the sky, but most importantly - his gummy smile.

he felt the same. you could easily tell by the way his face contorted to an expression that was nothing but pure joy. almost instantly, he pulled you into his arms, burying his face into the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent. you melted into him, basking in the warmth that he radiated and the feeling of security that you felt in his hold. softly, he whispered, “i’ve been waiting for the day i could finally hold you.”

“i’ve been waiting for the day i could put a face to all of the features i saw in my dreams,” you replied, entirely unable to suppress the grin that broke out onto your lips.

you pulled away from his grasp, flipping his wrist, as well as your own, over to bear the thick zeros that now adorned your wristsand were lit up a bright green. this was it, you finally met your fate, and you were so glad to know that it was with the captivating boy who visited you in your dreams. 

gunwook cupped your cheek, examining your face, taking in every inch, every detail that he could. leaning forward, he was just barely apart from the shell of your ear, lips brushing your skin as he spoke words to you that you wanted to hear over and over again for the rest of your life.

ZHANG HAO

you were leaned up against hao’s chest on your couch, his arms wrapped around you and his eyes trained on the movie you were currently watching since you both decided to spend your day off in the comfort of your own home. you felt warm and content, a soft smile finding its way onto your lips as you relished in the tranquility being with your boyfriend brought you.

absentmindedly, you began to hold onto his fingers, feeling some of the callouses that had developed on them from his many years of playing violin and from numerous days of practicing choreo that involved being on the floor. you traced each and every curve of his knuckles, finally making your way up to the pads of his fingertips, tapping them gently with your own.

you stayed like that for a few moments, absentmindedly making your own beat to some of the background music that played in the movie. finally, hao shifted, making the decision to lace his hand perfectly with yours, a soft smile on his lips, “that tickles, you know.”

“oh, sorry,” you replied, finally looking up at him, only to catch him in the act of his sparkling brown eyes soaking up every single inch of you. you blushed, looking down at the collar of his shirt as a distraction.

“it’s okay, you're cute, so it makes up for it.”

HANBIN

“there you are!” hanbin, your boyfriend, exclaimed, flipping the cover off of your side of the bed to allow you to crawl in next to him, sighing in content the moment you were able to feel his warmth. you melted into his side, resting your free hand on his chest as you relished in the moment of finally being with him after a long, stressful day at work. 

“how was your day, love?” he asked softly, pressing a gentle kiss onto your forehead. you merely grumbled, barely getting out that you had contemplated quitting at least ten times throughout the day, which earned a chuckle from him. 

you nuzzled closer to him, asking, “what did you do today?”

he smiled softly as he recounted his dance practice to you, as well as the lunch he ate and the walk he took along the river as a break. while he spoke, he grabbed onto your hand, lacing and unlacing your fingers together. you couldn’t help but giggle at him as he did so, turning your hands every which way in an attempt to keep his mind occupied while you held quiet conversation with one another.

“what’s so funny?” he asked, peering down at your face through his bangs, playfulness sparking in his eyes. 

“nothing, you’re just cute.”

MATTHEW

you walked though the mall with your boyfriend, eyes scanning various stores before you decided on one you both wanted to go into. it was rather crowded, and while you knew matthew wouldn't stray too far from you, it was an instinct to reach forward and link your pinky with his.

you were unable to see the grin that broke out onto his face, but the more you continued to walk around, you tightened your grip, afraid of losing him in the giant crowd of people who were desperate to get their hands on whatever newest releases were out. he squeezed back, reassuring you that he was there, and you weren't going to be separated.

ultimately, you decided to exit the store, coming to the conclusion that it was much too busy for the both of your liking and walked down the main stretch of the mall. you began to pull your pinky away, but he gripped it so hard with his own you were almost afraid it would snap yours in half.

“sorry, love!” he was quick to apologize, but you could only smile at him, “i just like it when you do that, it makes me feel like i’m able to protect you.”

you giggled, slipping your entire hand in his, fingers wiggling to get settled comfortably, “no matter what you do, i’ll always feel safe.”

RICKY

you were sat on a picnic blanket in the park, the sun setting beautifully over the water and the warm air almost lulling you to sleep. your head was rested in ricky’s lap, one of his hands threading through your hair and the other in your own as you closely examined each and every ring adorning his fingers. you spun your favorite one around absentmindedly, stating, “this date has been so lovely, thank you.”

your eyes met with his momentarily, a look of adoration for you evident on his face as he replied, “i couldn't agree more,” lips curling into a gentle smile the moment your attention went back to what you were previously doing. 

the silver of the ring flashed beautifully in the evening sun, the diamonds embedded within in it causing you to turn it every which way to see their glimmer in different angles. ricky laughed quietly, voice at a volume only the two of you could hear, “you know, one day i’ll put one of those on your finger.”

you swore you could feel your heart beating out of your chest, your eyes snapping back up to look at him once more, unable to hide your excitement as you said, “i can’t wait.”

GUNWOOK

“i never realized how big your hands actually are,” you said, eyes wide in awe as you held gunwook’s hand up to you own, taking note of how much longer and wider they were than yours. you were lucky for your hands to even be considered half the size of his.

gunwook chuckled at your words, folding the tops of his fingers over yours to show just how much room there was left. you could no longer suppress the grin that had been fighting to tug at the corners of your lips, peering up at him only to be met with his soft gaze. you felt your cheeks begin to heat up, quickly looking away from him out of nervousness.

“you know,” gunwook replied, shifting his hand to the side ever so slightly, “i always thought your hands being so much smaller than mine is endearing.”

he linked your fingers together, catching you slightly off guard as he did so, and he raised them up to be level between you both. he flashed his gummy smile at you, dark irises disappearing into the crescent shape his eyes adorned.

“see? they’re a perfect fit!”

TAERAE

“i don’t understand why i can’t seem to get it” you huffed, your fingers playing a stream of extremely out-of-tune notes on taerae’s guitar. you told him you wanted to learn, but for some reason, your brain wasn’t working properly. 

taerae moved in behind you, allowing you to sit on his lap as his arms wrapped around your frame, “here, try this.”

he attempted to align your hands the way they were meant to be, but after a few minutes of you still not grasping it, he placed his hands over top of yours, strumming the melody to the song he had been attempting to teach you for the past hour now. you couldn’t help but feel a little flustered over the way his hands perfect encompassed your own, and you found your brain growing even foggier at his close proximity. 

“see, you did it!” taerae happily exclaimed, now shimming his fingers in between yours in order to properly link your hands together. you were thankful he couldn’t see how much you were blushing. 

“it’s all thanks to you, love.”

GYUVIN

you always loved lazing around in bed with your boyfriend on days you had no plans. you never felt embarrassed by how clingy you got with him, because you were always reassured he would be ten times worse than you. it was honestly a miracle if he ever let you out of his grasp for more than a few minutes at a time. 

you were content like that though, fingers laced together from the play fight you’d just finished having. your phone began to ring beside you, but when you attempted to reach for it, gyuvin refused to let you go. you laughed at him, “can i have my hands back?”

“hm,” he pondered for a moment, squeezing gently as he did so, a grin on his lips, “no, sorry, they’re all mine now. i like the way they feel in mine.”

“gyu~” you whined, “what if it’s a call from work or something?”

he couldn’t hold back the laughter as he playfully replied, “they can wait.”

JIWOONG

a warm breeze moved through the air as you walked through the park with your boyfriend, jiwoong, hands intertwined with one another and a peaceful silence amongst the both of you. jiwoong stole a few glances at you, taking in how pretty you looked and thinking of just how lucky he was to have you in his life.

he lifted your hands up to his mouth, lips brushing against your knuckles softly. you were able to feel him smiling against your skin, and you couldn’t help but look up at him with a questioning look in your eyes, “what was that for?”

“just to show my appreciation to you, is all,” he answered matter-of-factly, his loving smile contagious, “at least in a small way, that is.”