dummyant

wants and lives and needs and prayers

your medicine made ephemeral

your laws placed on solid wind

think, onus

expand and contract like carcasses

carrying signals hundreds of miles away

this rot began in the middle

chasing rivers and cliffside walls, tall and wet

sticky zap to the touch

move west

eyes toward better days

grab, squeeze with your palms, onus

let the blood stain your hands crimson

The dirt will dry and fly from your fingers

Onus

Onus

Onus

never one

never two

always searching, onus

moving and creaking

pieces picked up by the wind and the river

many say the abyss stares back, but I think

that it demands

it yawns and grumbles like a too-big dog

it expects

the chasm inside of me is hungry like wolves

a stomach churning, evil hunger

a hunger to consume everything im given and demand more

a hunger to swallow my friends and my family

an ache to yawn wide and swallow up the firmament

Nobody loves a stray

Mouth blackened and charring

Chewing on charcoal grey

Ugly dog, matted

Afraid of your own reflection

There is no beauty in your suffering

a fake among them

nothing you understand about them

they are birds

you are a fake, a plastic thing

stilted legs and felt for feathers

stapled together

soft touch to remind you you're alive,

fired and finished like glaze on pottery

Not the dying part

The ugly part

But the after

Drifting, slowly

Clearheaded

Relaxed

Free

Absolution draped in a murky gloam

Alert

Intelligent

Lost

Unbecoming

Resistant

an unknown end you hurtle towards

a light, a path, an exodus

you run, unending, evermore

a day will come, eventually

you'll trip and crack your teeth on

you'll whine and cry incessantly

this isn't what you agreed on

the path was never clear

the way was always blocked

you've made a road for yourself

a dim lit path to walk

you'll walk alone toward twisting stars

toward neverending sun

feels as if it wasn't far

Little slimy slug

You will move, inch by inch, forward

And things started out fine

Hatchlings and pups and kits moved slowly alongside you

But they grow

And they move faster

Does it hurt, little slug?

Watch everyone move faster than you

To move forward and onward while you just

Teasing

I can feel the sweat prickle at my skin

The knowing had never worked, i tried and

No amount of being sure was enough, akin

To lying and breathing right next to him

No summer was ever enough to know

To know, to truly know

For him to know what he was or how he felt

Your laugh

Sweet like tamarind, burning like booze

Our knees touch, for a moment

I spill over it in an ugly way, too big for the room

I feel unlikely, unsightly

We'll twirl with the wind like foam on the lake

I'll kiss you so sweetly and gently, you'll see

Eager to hear the song that we'll make

And gently we'll part like seeds in the breeze

Let go of my hands and take on a new path

And somber and mild i'll watch you step free

If it was having ever known you

Or knowing you

Or knowing you had known me

That pulls my arms taut

Crossed along the ravine in my chest

And hugging tightly to close it

Like tectonic plates waving a mournful goodbye