The best things I ever brought into my life came in the "wrong" order. And I just watched it play out on the Israeli TV show I'm completely addicted to.
The TV show is the Israeli 'Married at First Sight'.
In Hebrew it's ืึฒืชึปื ึผึธื ืึดืึผึทืึผึธื ืจึดืืฉืืึนื /kha-too-'nah mee-ma-'bat ree-'shon/.
It's so popular that Israelis just call it ืึฒืชืึผื ึธืึดื /kha-too-'na-mee/ for short.
The three experts are so good! The couples are deep and real. (And as someone whose childhood dream was to be a therapist, with two degrees in it, I can't get enough of human behavior)
I'm binging each episode like a favorite childhood dish.
Yesterday I watched one of the husbands in a personal session with the therapist.
He shared that he's waiting for that certainty feeling to arrive so he can safely let his guard down, and finally be all in.
Her answer was one I want to put on billboards everywhere:
It won't happen in that order. The feeling doesn't come first so you can let your guard down. You let your guard down first. That's the only way it can come in.
The thing is, it's like this with every big thing we take on.
We want the safe order. Certainty first, then commitment.
Confidence first, then the first step.
Ready first, then we begin.
In practice, it's the complete opposite.
Every big thing that changed my life, in ways I couldn't even imagine, happened in the "wrong" order. Happened because I dared to jump.
I didn't feel ready when I moved across the world as a single girl. And then again, to be with the man who is now my husband and the best partner I could ask for. Or when I built something of my own from nothing, in a new country, with no safety net.
Not one of those felt safe first. They became right because I jumped.
Not recklessly. Not against my intuition. Just without waiting until it was safe, comfortable, perfect, or the right time.
Because ready doesn't come first. It comes after.
