imagine that we're hanging out, both heavily overdue, perhaps with multiples even and we both go into labour, we don't want to tell the other and make things awkward so we try to stay calm for as long as possible until your water breaks in a dramatic torrent of milky fluid and soaks the entire bottom part of your outfit and because you've ignored labour for so long you immediately feel a baby descend into your birth canal, I try my best to help you out of your clothes and help you birth but I'm so distracted that I don't notice my own amniotic sac rupturing and beginning to leak...soon enough I too will be on the brink of crowning with a way too huge infant, much like you
Ohh I love this concept, I'm so curious where are we? Because that would certainly change things -
At a sleepover perhaps? Even as overdue as we are, both of us are in denial, it feels like our pregnancies will never end, we joke about how comfortable our babies must be. Besides the concept of birth seems far away from our minds, that happens to other pregnant people, We've seen plenty of videos, some people screaming and sobbing, the subconscious terror at the thought of submitting to our bodies like that. Well, that simply won't happen to us. Ignorance is bliss after all.
So we order in all of our favourite foods, pizza, tubs of ice cream, even the weird pregnancy cravings. Rent out a bunch of our favourite movies, a mix of cheesy rom coms and b-budget and upscale horror films. We do skincare, although it's less painting nails and facemasks. We take turns rubbing on the others' belly. It's easy at first to ignore how tense they get, the way the soft stretched skin suddenly turns rock hard. "Yeah, baby doesn't like watching someone get skinned alive either! Gore doesn't always make a great horror movie - Eugh! Godd that's just gross!".
You gasp, groaning, a frown makes it's way between your eyebrows. It's easy to play off contractions. You lift up your shirt and rub at your achy stomach with your hands.
"Oh it's not that bad.. Oh, where did her head go!? I'm not sure if I remember right, I'm changing the movie!", I exclaimed in protest, of course no one disagrees with me. It takes me a while, heavy as I am to get off the bed. Just one more excuse to get up and stand, or look for the remote I 'dropped', kneeling under the bed. It's been harder to sit lately, the pressure building inside of my body is crazy, the persistent ache in my hips, my back, and ultimately my cunt. Like everything is straining within me, singing from the same hymn sheet. Downwards.
Whether I like it or not, admit it or not. Something, or rather someone is about to come out of me.
I make it as far as the floor, one hand on the wooden dresser as I lean over to press the 'eject' button on the dvd player. "Oh God - oh fuck! - Oh noo!", I cry out, white knuckling the dresser, flinching in animal-like instinct as my water breaks almost comically. Soaking and dampening my jeans, turning them into a water logged blue colour.
"It's too soon!", I hiss out between gritted teeth. But the fact is, it's not too soon at all, it's right on time. The train pulled into the station, only a couple of weeks late. But it is here all the same. The weight of the head rams itself against my cervix, before I can even register what I'm saying, I yell out, "It's riight there! Oh God, I gotta - I don't want too!", my body instinctively pushes by itself, I've been holding out for too long, its unbearable to ignore now.
"Oh God, it's gonna come in my jeans! I don't want to birth into my jeans!",
Spurred into action, you waddle over, your belly as equally low and heavy as mine. Slowly but surely, after pleading with me to breathe, to pant, to stop fuckin' pushing, you manage to get my jeans off of me and quickly discard them onto the floor. We manage along for some time, even if my pushing feels fruitless, finally, you erupt into a cheer as a sliver of the head could be seen.
You're forced to swallow your own fears, "I can see the head! Slightly uh-", you pause, huffing and puffing. You had denied yourself for so long. Now, the reality of what you had ignored made your blood run cold. How long had you praised me, cheered me on, how many "I promise, just one more push!", had you said? Only to be faced with your friend's bulging cunt and a head that refused to come.
"I can see it!", your cheer turns into a low growl as you could no longer fight against your own body. Your baby wanted out. "I can feeel it! Fuck it's gonna, it's just so big!", you grunt, the pressure reliving momentarily as your water breaks over your clothes and onto the carpet.
Fuck, what are we going to do now?
Of course, it's a different story if we're in public, or maybe in work, in a car etc