emotional layaway

anxiety is being so afraid to ask people where a drinking fountain is and literally crying in the bathroom because you feel so alone. You feel so miserable and out of tune with the world that it’s all your fault. A water fountain really? Something so basic and necessary to our survival and yet here I am having a mental break down wishing I wasn’t alive because I can’t find something that should be readily available. Why would my body fear something like this all of the sudden? Why can’t there be a map with all the water fountains available? No I do not want to wait ten minutes and waste a cup of water at Starbucks. I want to refill my own tumbler. I want to be able to feel safe enough to get water rather than feel judged for walking back and forth not knowing where I’m going.