East and West, the wanderlust...

In my last years in the Australian Taxation Office when older Gen Z were just starting to get management positions, was when I started to notice that these younger people didn't have skills Millennials have always mocked our Baby Boomer colleagues for lacking.

It's not even their fault. They went through school with the myth of the "Digital Native". They weren't taught typing skills, they weren't taught how to convert a .PDF, they weren't taught how to make a digital slide show, but they sure were taught to use Adobe Photoshop as though it isn't a comparatively niche use skill.

Humans didn't evolve to use the computer, or computer programs, this is tool use and tool use is transmitted culturally... We have to teach it to the next generation or the knowledge is lost in as little as one generation. We already knew this and invented the myth of the Digital Native anyway.

Honestly, that level of actual taught computer skills haven't been a thing in schools since the 80s. Even millennials (at least the younger half) weren't taught computer skills - but what we did get was a lot of time on proper computers/laptops that required picking up those skills. There was no autosave - gotta learn to save. Search functions a bit dogshit? gotta learn to organise my files. I learnt to touch type from typing stories so often and playing mmos that required I learn touch typing or get demolished by a meteor. A lot of us learned because we wanted to learn and all the things we could do on computers required all those skills.

on survival

WOW I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS MY FAVORITE TELEVISION SERIES OF ALL TIME (it's not out yet)

he and ilya are hanging out in the yard and some bees are buzzing around because some watermelon juice spilled on the ground earlier and shane suggests they go inside or rinse the juice off the patio and ilya teases him about being scared of little bees and shane SO nonchalantly just, "no, but i am allergic and you don't know where my epipen is"

and ilya

reblogging with my own tags because i'm also CACKLING imagining the implications of this not being specific to ilya, either. they're having a barbeque at hayden and jackie's house and hayden is good-naturedly encouraging shane to try a piece of coffee cake or something and ilya just goes, "no, bad for you"

and hayden IMMEDIATELY is on the defensive because what? you get to tell him what to eat now? where do you get o-

"no, bad for him because it has walnuts in it, pike. you want him to die? this is what you want?"

"what are you talking about?"

shane: "i'm allergic"

"??? since WHEN??"

"since always??"

"you've eaten over at my house HOW many times?? and never brought this up? the fuck, dude?"

"jackie knows"

the idea of ilya on instagram accidentally pressing like while DEEP in allergy mommy blogging territory and natalie from That Allergy Mama DMing him to be like "hi, my husband wants me to tell you he says hi and that he's a big fan and also that call against you against san francisco was bullshit." "hello, husband of natalie. also do you have any suggestions for substituting peanuts in this recipe?"

he gets filmed for a what i eat in a day/day in the life type video and is so used to thinking about substitutes at this point that he doesn't even think about it when he mentions them in passing. they keep an allergy friendly household so the stuff he mentions is compliant, but it's paired with comments like, "and then i add some wowbutter, which is soybeans and not peanuts. we also sometimes have sunflower seed butter, but the texture for this is better with the wowbutter. i have also tried this, what is it called-shane: the gross paste with beans" *shane, offscreen from the living room*: "chickpea butter?" "yes, this." "it's nasty" "yes, not good. their jar says it is, but it is not. anyway-"

A. the idea of ilya being lowkey stressed about shane surprising him and potentially being exposed to allergens is so fucking funny. ilya who ends up also keeping an allergy-friendly household PURELY because it's just less stressful that way. meanwhile the motherfucker WITH the allergies is SO fucking casual about it that it wouldn't even occur to him to ask ilya to do that.

B. when they're pushing the friendship cover, ilya gets nudge nudge jokes about trying to copy what hollander's doing, and he's not going to share information shane didn't greenlight to get out, so he just plays along. and now there's like. at least three other players lowkey accidentally following an allergy diet because they don't know it's an allergy diet. why do hollander and now rozanov not eat tree nuts? unclear, but they're also the best two players in the entire industry so it's worth a shot to copy them.

@lucky-santangelo ilya only getting five seconds of feeling smug and holier than thou before shane puts him on blast is KILLING me XD

shane groaning SO loud when ilya first breaks out the allergy cards because GOD ilya it's NOT that serious this is embarass-

oh? is this more or less embarassing than having allergic reaction in the middle of a restaurant and needing your epipen? hm? shut up and take the fucking shiny cards, hollander.

and riFUCKINGp to the restaurant that lied about not using peanut oil in their fryer as an angry, stressed ilya is stuck in a hospital lobby with wifi and a lot of energy that has nowhere to go until he's allowed to be back with his husband. you're DONE FOR.

GOD the psychic damage ilya takes the day he finds out body products can have allergens in them. his body wash company is getting a SCATHING email about fucking around with their formula when there are PEOPLE with ALLERGIES who RELY ON-

shane growing up who always got, "oh, you poor thing" from well-intentioned adults as a kid and then, "damn, i could NEVER live like that" from same-age peers when older whenever he had to explain his allergies, and it was both annoying and also felt like failing at something when he had to decline a piece of birthday cake or a slice of pizza because it wasn't safe for him.

but if he frames it as a performance diet, then suddenly! admiration! he gets some teasing obviously, but there's also an air of "good for you, man" that lands a lot easier than pity.

@riddlemaster101

i feel like shane would reliably tell medical people because this is a Rule for medical settings so yes of course he'll go into detail

David spots them at the cottage and they go over, Shane's cottage is obviously allergen free and the shopping he did is all safe for him. Yuna and David know to cook safely, the chicken parm is all good and fine but they say "the croutons aren't safe for you, but you don't like those anyway" just in passing as a matter of habit and Ilya who JUST learned about bananas and latex and bees is like "oh wow! More allergies?? I need a list. Haha" and then they have the meal and the panic attack and they become boyfriends. Before they leave Yuna makes him a copy of her list of all the known allergens and Shane's common reactions to them, it's the first time he hugs her. He looks her in the eye and says "thank you for letting me take care of him. I will be careful."

It's a relief, to know he cares to try. But at the end of the day they JUST met this man. So they cross their fingers and try not to feel the same way they did every time Shane went to somebody's house for a birthday party or a sleepover.

And then they are over at the cottage some night and they decide to order in for dinner. Ilya takes everybody's orders and goes to the kitchen to call it in for them and it's taking *forever* so Yuna goes to see if he needs any help. She finds him sitting with two copies of the list, hers and one translated into Russian for his easy reference. He has the phone on speaker and says "thank you for checking the dressing ingredients, I know is weird request, but sometimes Caesar dressing is safe, sometimes not safe, but he likes it so much is worth checking. Yes, I'll hold again."

They've ordered from this place a dozen times, their recipe for Caesar dressing is safe, YUNA knows that, SHANE knows that, that's why he ordered it. But *Ilya* doesn't. So he's checking. Because Shane wants the dressing and Ilya want him *safe* and *happy*. And isn't that all a parent wants? For their kid to be with someone who is just as invested in their happiness and safety as they are? For somebody who will wait on hold while they check the fry oil and the dressing ingredients and whatever else?

also cackling about the idea of ilya using the group chat with them to be mad about brands changing their ingredients so things that were SAFE are now NOT 😤 it started just as a "hey, those crackers aren't safe anymore" as a collective fyi thing, but it ends up being ilya just mad about safe things not being safe anymore

Recently, I read the worldwide bestseller Yesteryear. It’s not the kind of book I usually pick up, but curiosity got the better of me — I wanted to understand the hype.

Well. Aside from the ending (was there truly no other option?), it was entertaining enough. What surprised me most was that it touched on contemporary issues, though gently. A few days after finishing it, I learned the story was loosely inspired by a real “tradwife.” She lives on a place called Ballerina Farm, is married to an incredibly wealthy man, has eight children, and — hold on to your hats — twenty million Instagram followers. And of course, she bakes her own bread. A key credential, apparently.

In all honesty, I was late to the party. I had no idea “tradwives” existed, no idea women were choosing this lifestyle, and certainly no idea they had such massive followings — or such lucrative business models built on their “traditional” lives.

Then today, I stumbled upon an article about the womanosphere, a term coined by feminist media researcher Jilly Boyce Kay. And let me confess: I wasn’t just late to the party; I didn’t even know there was a party. The womanosphere — or femosphere — is an entire ecosystem of its own. Not cohesive, but sprawling across platforms, aesthetics, and cultural frameworks, creating a distinctly different online world.

The name might echo its counterpart, the manosphere, but the two operate very differently. Where the manosphere frames gender equality as an attack on men and treats women as lesser beings, the womanosphere takes a softer route. It romanticizes femininity. The trouble is how it defines femininity: not as a spectrum of identities and choices, but as something “natural,” fixed, and rooted in a narrow vision of womanhood.

You might ask: What’s wrong with that?

This version of womanhood idolizes a single model of family, motherhood, and “values.” Women in their “natural” roles: stay‑at‑home mothers, cooking “real food,” homeschooling their children, glowing with domestic bliss like a 1950s advertisement.

And make no mistake — it is an advertisement.

The men of the manosphere preach. They argue, persuade, recruit. The women of the womanosphere are far more strategic. They don’t tell you how to live; they show you. TikTok, Instagram, Facebook — all filled with beautiful, slender women with glossy hair kneading dough at dawn, smiling beatifically over eight children, demonstrating how to churn butter and make jam while looking effortlessly wholesome. Testimonials about perfect marriages and perfect homes. Who wouldn’t want that?

But here’s the truth: these women are married to extremely wealthy men and, perhaps more importantly, run highly profitable businesses built on their “traditional” image. They are not nearly as traditional as they claim. If they were, they wouldn’t be monetizing the lifestyle.

Beyond the curated aesthetics, the message is unsettling:

Working and raising kids is too hard.

You’re depriving your children by having a career.

You don’t need education or financial independence.

A man will take care of you.

He’ll even vote for you.

All you need is good makeup, a curling iron, and a handsome husband, and life will smell like roses.

Gone are the rights my mother fought for. Gone is the conviction I passed on to my daughters — that education, a work ethic, and confidence give you options. Not because a diploma hangs on the wall, but because knowledge and independence create freedom. The freedom to leave situations you don’t want to be in. The freedom to build a life you choose.

Most women in the world don’t have the privileges my daughters do. Many live in countries where women are treated as second‑class citizens, where girls are barred from school, where women have no rights, no healthcare, no financial autonomy. Even in so‑called “first world” countries, many women live below the poverty line, raising children in impossible circumstances.

For a century, women — and men — have worked to improve women’s lives: access to education, healthcare, leadership, careers. Is it easy? No. Not in my day, not in my daughters’. Is it fulfilling? Yes.

This conversation takes me back to my childhood. My mother was initially a stay‑at‑home mom because that was expected. Even as a child, I saw her unhappiness — a bright woman distributing milk at school when she longed for intellectual challenge. When we were teenagers, she returned to work. I still remember her coming home, animated, laughing, telling us stories from her day. She grew. She thrived. She was happy.

Some women choose to stay home. Some choose to work. Sometimes it’s not a choice at all. The point is: women should have choices. We should want women to live in the 21st century with the freedom to pursue the lives they envision. I believe deeply in encouraging people to reach for the metaphorical brass ring — and in building a world where women (and men) are supported in doing so.

That is my objection to the womanosphere and the tradwife aesthetic: it sells a life that narrows women’s possibilities, erodes their autonomy, and romanticizes a past where women had no choices at all.

So yes, I may have been unaware there was a party. And yes, I arrived late. But I’m aware now. And I hope others will see this movement for what it is: a slow, seductive unraveling of women’s rights.

Maybe it’s time we crash that party.

“I’m probably not saying that correctly”/“sorry for my pronunciation” = 👍 understandable! foreign languages often have sounds that aren’t used in English and learning to correctly pronounce unfamiliar phonemes is genuinely difficult even with help

“lol I’m not even gonna TRY to pronounce that 😂” = 👎 THIS is the problem, if treats languages other than English like they are inherently ‘weird’ or ‘overly complicated’ just because you aren’t familiar with them