chi 🎧

“i want to leave, to go somewhere i should really be in my place, where i would fit in — but my place is nowhere. i an unwanted.”

“i often stood in front of the mirror alone, wondering how ugly a person could get.”

“something in me wants more. i cant rest.”

“people empty me. i have to get away to refill.”

“why are you sad?” “because you speak to me in words, and i look at you with feelings.”

“i think that the world should just be full of cats and full of rain, that’s all, just cats and rain, rain and cats. very nice, good night.”

“… i wonder if i’ll ever find a language to speak of the things that haunt me the most.”

“i think too deeply about everything. i don’t know if that allows me to see more of the world, or less of it.”

“but do you understand, sir, do you understand what it means when you have absolutely nowhere to turn?”

“it wasn’t my day. my week. my month. my year. my life. god damn it.”

“lately i’ve been drowning. hopelessly choking for air. i sob like a little child.

“i don’t care if it hurts i wanna have control i want a perfect body i want a perfect soul.”

“sometimes suffering is just suffering. it doesn’t make you stronger. it doesn’t build character. it only hurts.”

“you like to act like you care about nothing, and if you carry on like that then your going to drown in the abyss you’ve imagined for yourself.”

“im so unwhole. i don’t know where all the pieces of me are, how to fit them together, how to make them stick. or if i even can.”