It’s You And Me, Baby

“What do we do now?” Erica asked in a hushed yell, earning hushes from Robin and Dustin but a Russian accent pulled your attention away from the 10-year-old.

“Found you,” the man said, his gun raised and ready to fire.

In the chaos and panic, the group of five had ended up on their feet, and before anyone could register the scene unfolding, you promptly side-stepped, standing between Steve and the Russians. The motion going unnoticed due to the eyes closing from the loud snapping of gunfire.

A sudden, brief pang sent itself through Steve’s chest, opening his eyes to find you standing between him and the man that was determined to hurt him some more. A broken heart was all that’s left for him, as he shifted, resting his hand on your shoulder.

Your hand moved up to your stomach confused by the pinch of pain that was sent through your stomach, everything around you blurred. Your mind unsure of what was happening, trying to fix all the cracks and hoping not to lose any of the pieces in the meantime.

“Y/N?” Steve said, looking over your shoulder, registering your pained, confused expression. Your gaze moved first, down to your stomach. You moved your hand away to see the slick, crimson liquid covering your palm. Your body started registering the pain, knowing you should hurt more based on the liquid that shouldn’t be visible. You couldn’t stay up on your feet.

You stumbled backward, the familiar arms wrapping around you. He carried you away from the danger, carefully laying you down behind a food court counter. Steve became spastic in his movements, pushing away your hand that still laid on your injury to push down on the wound himself, pulling a soft hiss of pain from your teeth.

He couldn’t imagine his life without you, he’s changed when you came into his life. You helped him, and he was still afraid of all he used to be, knowing he used to be a complete jerk. Steve continued his panicked movements, pulling out a towel from under the counter, knocking down other things in the process.

His mind was fuzzy, he couldn’t focus. His mind felt like a foreign land to himself. The buzz made the silence ring in his head, despite the ruckus that Eleven was causing with the display car. He’d carry you home, carry you anywhere if it guaranteed your safety.

You have been teaching yourself how to save your love, not spending it on anyone due to your mother’s history. But then you met the man that was leaning over you, his concern only on you, and you spent it all on him.

Most people warned you when your relationship started to grow: “he was always a losing game,” “be realistic,” “he’s just a small-town boy who’s in over his head,” “he’s in a big arcade,” “You’ll grow addicted to his losing game.”

All you knew was most love was a losing game, so you took the risk. And you never regretted it.

____________________________________________________________________________

“I’m sorry I had to cancel that date,” Steve said, the disappointment evident in the tone of his voice. You smiled through the glass at him. He was bent over, leaning under the top of the dipping cabinet to scoop out the ice cream you had just requested.

“Well, free ice cream makes up for it,” You replied, knowing he wouldn’t let you pay for your favorite frozen treat, “especially since this is your job and you can’t control when you have to take other people’s shifts.”

It was late, the mall was going to close in a few minutes, and the last few patrons were making their way to the mall exit, allowing stores to start closing.

You took the ice cream cone from Steve when he handed it to you, complacently licking the sweet frozen cream, dancing slightly after tasting the treat.

Steve chuckled at you, causing you to meet his eyes that were filled with adoration as he watched you.

“I’ve got an idea,” Steve said, walking around the parlor’s counter to get closer to you. Instead of stopping in front of you, he grabbed your empty hand and dragged you out of Scoops Ahoy. He dragged you to an escalator, calmly riding the moving stairs to the floor below the ice cream parlor, and you continued eating your frozen treat, nearly forgetting about it in your confused state of mind that Steve caused.

“What are we doing?” you asked curiously, looking down at the brunet that was standing on the step in front of you. He stepped off, being followed by you as he took your hand once again and continued to pull you to a destination set in his head.

“Well, it wasn’t what we originally planned,” Steve explained, stopping in front of one of the open doorways of the mall. The neon lights still shining brightly while the rest of the stores in the vicinity started turning off their lights, making the neon gleam even bright. The sign smiled brightly at you, reading ‘Arcade.’ “But it can still count as a date.”

You smiled widely at the man in front of you, still a child at heart. You took your last few bites of ice cream before excitedly entering the arcade with Steve.

“How many pennies go in the slot?” Steve asked, stepping up to the game you picked him to place, the color scheme reminding you of cotton candy with the ghost and yellow sphere with a bow plastered on the side.

“You know that this shows that women are slowly being represented in our culture, and with that respect usually follows,” you answered, completely ignoring the question that Steve already had the answer to.

“Hey, I respect women,” Steve defended, pushing the coins in the slot of the arcade, “so of course, I’ll play Ms. Pac-man over regular Pac-man.”

“The fact that you said ‘regular Pac-man’ makes me question if you actually respect women,” You retorted, earning a slightly annoyed look from Steve before he turned his attention back to the game that was starting.

You bothered your boyfriend after a few minutes of playing, watching how successful he playing and getting bored because you couldn’t ridicule his skills. You lightly tapped his hand, causing the joystick to shift, turning the character in a direction he didn’t want it to go.

He recovered himself the first couple of times, earning noises of disapproval from him but nothing more. You let out a giggle before tapping his hand again, turning him straight into a trap with the ghosts that were chasing him.

The screen flashed with the game-over sign, causing his playful glare to fall onto you.

“Really?” Steve asked, “I could’ve set a high score at the pace I was playing.”

“But what fun is that,” you replied, sending him a quick wink, “Let’s play a game against one another.”

“Which one?” Steve asked, allowing you to lead him to another game, this one having two sets of controls on the machine.

Steve quickly inserted the coins necessary for the two of your to play against one another, having an idea of how the game would end since you had never been in the arcade before now.

You laughed excitedly, button sashing to continue distributing blows to your boyfriend’s character, earning exclamations of disapproval.

“You don’t even know how to play,” Steve complained, “You’re just button smashing.”

“That or you don’t know my secrets,” you quickly respond, “Or you aren’t actually that good at playing these games.”

“That was low,” Steve said, sparing you a quick glance, “You’re lucky I’m too occupied to leave you right now.”

“Are you giving up on us that easily? That didn’t take a lot,” You said, sending the man a smirk, “You know too much. You don’t get to just walk out.”

Game over flashed across Steve’s half of the screen, his character falling in defeat to you and your beginner’s luck.

“I saw how it was going to end before you even started,” you commented turning toward the man next to you.

“Leave me alone, I’ll carry on,” Steve muttered, walking away from you towards another arcade machine, “Still, I carried on.”

You giggled at his antics, following close behind him, unprepared for the man to quickly turn to face you, causing you to run into his chest. He was quick to react and hold you to your spot, keeping you close.

“You know you’re my main squeeze, right?” Steve said, his lips pulling across his face to form his signature smirk, sending you a wink as well.

You giggled, leaning closer to him, brushing your nose against his, “I know, tiger. The sad part is that you think you’re mine.”

You delicately pushed your fingers through his hair, ruffling it up before moving away seeing Steve’s mouth agape in fake flabbergast.

“First you insult me, then you mess up my do?” Steve asked, moving to close the gape you continued to create, “You’re just asking for it pumpkin.”

You let out a squeal when Steve lunged at you, wrapping you in his arms before lifting you off the group. The neon lights surrounding you blurred as you spun around with the small-town boy you continue to fall more in love with every day.

____________________________________________________________________________

“Hey,” you whispered, your voice unable to come out any stronger due to your fatigue. Steve’s gaze met yours, the tears in his eyes threatening to fall. You rest your bloody hand on his cheek, the man not bothered by the warm liquid now on his face, “It’ll be alright. I’m fine. It’s fine.”

“No,” Steve muttered, pushing past the break in his voice. His head fell down, his forehead creasing as the tears finally fell from his eyes. He forced himself to look back at you, “This-this isn’t supposed to happen like this. What about your goals? Your dreams? You’re going to be fine. And then - and then you’ll go on to college. You’ll forget this town, left behind in your rearview mirrors. You’ll leave it behind for your successful career. And you’ll meet someone special, that person you’ll spend the rest of your life with and have a family, and the nerdiest, most beautiful kids.”

You let out a soft giggle, an unforced smile pushing across your lips. Steve shifted his and your positions, allowing you to rest your back against his chest and allowing him to hold you tightly in his arms, keeping the towel pressed to your wound.

“I love you, brown eyes,” you said, unprompted and for the first time.

“I love you, too, but this isn’t goodbye, angel face,” Steve muttered, not missing a beat and trying to swallow down his tears.

“It isn’t,” you agreed, “You’re crazy if you think you can get rid of me this easy.”

“I don’t need your games,” Steve said after offering you a soft laugh, trying to find ways to keep your eyes open, and on his, he pressed his lips against your temple despite his bruises. His eyes closed tightly, prompting more tears to stream down his cheeks.

"Game over,” you whispered, causing the man to look into your eyes once again.

“No, it’s not. You don’t get to make that call, pumpkin.”

“I think,” you started, the tiredness filling every fiber of your body, overriding your senses and filling your mind, “I think I am the one who makes that call.”

Steve’s sob wasn’t missed, everyone in the group heard. Dustin shifted into your line of sight, offering you a soft smile, and you could feel everyone’s pity radiating onto the two of you. Steve tightened his grip on you, his face resting on your shoulder to stifle his cries.

“She’s so pale,” you barely heard fall from Nancy’s lips. You pushed your feelings aside, knowing your biased opinion on her was wasting time for her ex, the love of your life.

You moved your hand up to the side of Steve’s face, your fingers tangling in his medium-length brown locks. His hair was messy after everything that transpired, but he was far from caring. Your thumb lightly breezed his jawline, enticing the man to look at your face. You craned your neck to be able to look into the man’s eyes.

Your lips met, a metallic taste hit your tongue, and you knew Steve tasted it as well but was far from caring once again. He didn’t want to break away from you, but the contact was delicate; he was worried to hurt you more than you already were.

“All I know,” you whispered after breaking the kiss, your forehead resting against his, “Loving you was far from a losing game.”

The tears hadn’t stopped. More fell, streaking a clear line through the blood and dirt covering Steve’s face. You relaxed, the most you had ever been in years while resting in the small-town boy’s arms.

Dustin took the spot next to him, remaining silent and patiently waiting until Steve would be ready to receive the comfort he was will to provide. While some members of the party had to move away, unable to stomach the scene but they weren’t able to escape completely.

Steve’s gut-wrenching cries followed, sobs falling from his lips. He held you tighter in his arms, tensing his jaw to smother his desire to scream his lungs out. His knees came closer together, cradling your body with his entire being: body, mind, and soul. And each fiber of his being was agonizing over the feeling of your body, slowly growing colder to his touch

-------

Your answer came in the form of a phone call two weeks after Rafe had vanished off the face of the Earth, the harsh buzzing of your phone against your bedside table jerking you out of your slumber. You reached out, blindly patting the table until your fingers closed around it.

“Hello?” You yawned, voice thick with sleep. There was silence on the other end, some shuffling, then finally a voice.

“Y/N,” Rafe’s voice mumbled. “It’s me.”

You were wide awake now, shooting upright in your covers with your phone pressed against your ear. “Rafe? Where are you?”

“I need you to come to the sheriff’s station.”

“Sheriff’s station? What—why are you there? Where have you been?”

“I got into some trouble. Just come down, please.”

“Okay, yeah. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” With that, you hung up, tossing your phone onto the bed with an exasperated groan. You didn’t know if you should be happy that Rafe had reached out to you, or worried that he most definitely landed himself in jail. But either way, you had to head down there.

Not fifteen minutes later, you were at the station, standing at the front desk with a forced smile aimed at the officer behind it, who looked like he couldn’t give two shits about who you were or why you were here.

“Hi, I’m here for Rafe Cameron?”

“One moment, please.” He replied monotonously, tapping slowly at the computer in front of him while your eyes darted around the station nervously. “You said Rafe Cameron?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Rafe Cameron, nineteen years old?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Says here he was booked on unlawful possession of a controlled substance. You here to pay his bail?”

You nodded with a tight smile, digging your credit card out of your wallet and passing it to him, not missing the disappointed look that he aimed your way as you did so.

You knew what he was thinking. He definitely thought that you were just some stupid kid with a delinquent boyfriend. Sometimes that same thought went through your head too.

After a little while, Rafe had stumbled his way out of the holding cell and into the waiting area, clothes rumpled and hair a mess, clutching his personal effects against his chest as another officer buzzed open the door for him. You could smell the stench of booze and stale weed coming off him in waves, making your nose scrunch up in distaste.

He didn’t even acknowledge you, simply walking right past you and shoving open the door to the parking lot clumsily. You rolled your eyes, following him to your car, where he’d leaned up against the good and was looking off into the distance with a frown.

“You’re mad at me. I can tell.” He muttered, dragging a hand through his hair.

You didn’t even have the energy to play dumb with him. “Yeah, I am. You disappeared for two weeks, Rafe. No texts, no calls, you turned your location off—do you know how worried I’ve been??? And now you call me out of the blue at three in the fucking morning because you got yourself arrested?”

“I needed some time to myself. That a crime now?”

“No, but unlawful possession of a controlled substance is. I just paid a thousand bucks to get you out of there, Rafe. How ‘bout a little gratitude? Maybe a thank you?”

He ignored you. “If this is about the money, I’ll pay you back.” He grumbled. You froze in your spot, completely taken aback by how nonchalant he was being right now.

“This isn’t about the goddamn money, I don’t care about the money, I just—I love you, and I don’t want you doing something you’re gonna regret one day.” Rafe’s jaw tightened at your words, and when he looked at you, there was anger in his eyes, because all he saw in yours was disappointment and pity. It was like he didn’t even register that you were coming from a place of love and concern, just jumped straight to irritation.

“That—that right there, that look. You think I’m crazy, don’t you?” He spat, mouth turning up into a sneer.

“I don’t think you’re crazy, Rafe. I think you need to stop doing this shit to yourself.”

“I’m not doing anything I can’t handle, Y/N. I’m a big boy, I can take care of myself.”

“Really? This is what you call ‘taking care of yourself’?” You shot back, jerking your thumb at the sheriff’s station behind you. “You need help.”

“Again with the help!” Rafe laughed bitterly, pushing off the car and pacing back and forth. “I don’t need help! I’m fine, and I have everything under control.”

“Don’t be an idiot, Rafe. Don’t—”

“If I’m such an idiot, then why are you still here?” He snapped. His words shocked you to your very core, echoing in your brain over and over again.

Why were you here?

Was it because you loved him, or was it because you felt bad for him?

Was it both?

“Get in the car. I’m taking you back to Tanneyhill.” You said calmly, much more calm than you felt. Rafe looked like he wanted to keep this argument going, but one glance at the glare you shot him had him shutting up in an instant and climbing into the passenger seat without another word.

The ride home was completely silent, neither of you wanting to say anything more that would start an argument and take your focus away from the pitch black road you were driving down. You didn’t want to say anything without thinking it through first, and the silence gave you the time to do exactly that.

So by the time you weaved your car up the long, winding driveway of the Cameron household and put it in park, you knew exactly what you wanted to say to Rafe. The two of you could talk this out like mature adults.

But apparently Rafe had other plans, because as soon as you pulled to a stop, he had already unbuckled and jumped out of the car, barely stopping to mutter a thanks for the ride before he was making his way towards the house.

“Rafe, wait,” You called, killing your engine and climbing out of the driver’s seat. He froze halfway up the path, turning back to you slowly with a painfully blank expression. You made your way to him, stopping a safe enough distance away to where you wouldn’t feel the urge to bury yourself in his arms and pretend everything was alright—like you had been this entire time. “I need to say something to you.”

“Look, Y/N, can we do this tomorrow?” He sighed, rubbing a hand down his face.

“No, we can’t. I’m doing this now, because tomorrow always means never with you, and I’m sick of it.”

Rafe’s eyebrows furrowed, but he nodded slowly.

“I can’t do this anymore, Rafe.” You said quietly, fighting the waver in your voice.

“Can’t do what?”

“I can’t sit by and watch you destroy your life because you can’t see the consequences of your actions.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The drugs, the drinking—it’s ruining your life, and you can’t even see that!” You exclaimed, feeling the tears start to well up in your eyes. “I’m scared, Rafe, and you don’t even care!”

Rafe didn’t say anything for the longest time, and when he did, his voice was scarily low. “Scared for me, or scared of me?”

“Both.” You said shakily, wrapping your arms around yourself, as if that could be some sort of shield between you and Rafe. Taking a sharp breath, he started to pace back and forth with his hands on his hips, looking over at you every so often and shaking his head, then continuing in his pacing. You didn’t know what was going through his head, and you hated it.

“Are you breaking up with me right now?” He asked finally, halting his pacing.

“I don’t want to, but I can’t keep doing this shit with you, Rafe. I feel like I’m the only one fighting to save this relationship, and I—I can’t do it anymore.” You were crying at this point, not even trying to hide the tears rolling down your face. Maybe if he saw how much pain he was putting you through, he’d finally notice what he was doing, not only to himself, but to you too.

“I love you, Y/N, and you’re breaking up with me?” Rafe replied, clenching his jaw as he looked at you with pure confusion.

“I love you too, I really do. But I’m not just gonna sit here and pretend everything’s okay, because it’s not. It hasn’t been for a really long time. I know deep down, you know that too. You love getting high more than you love me.” You cried, holding up a shaky hand when he opened his mouth to protest. “And don’t tell me it’s not true, don’t tell me I’m just being dramatic, because it is true.”

“Baby, please, just—just gimme a chance to work my shit out. We can get through this, Y/N, come on—” Now Rafe’s voice was thick with tears, as he desperately tried to salvage what was left of your relationship. Like he’d just now realized that you were dead serious.

“I've given you so many chances, Rafe. And you’ve let me down every single time.”

“This time is gonna be different, baby, I promise. Just don’t—don’t leave me.” He pleaded.

“Prove it. Prove to me this time is gonna be different. I know you have a stash up in your room, go get rid of it. Throw it into the marina.” You demanded, pointing down at the water’s edge. “Get rid of the drugs, and then I’ll know you actually mean what you’re saying. That you’re not just lying your ass off to get me to stay.”

Rafe’s mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, but he didn't move an inch. He couldn’t even say anything that would get you to change your mind now.

“That's what I thought.” You said quietly. He looked at you one last time, tear-glossed eyes silently begging you not to leave.

Stepping forward, you wrapped your arms around his neck and brought him down for one last hug, cradling the back of his head when it dropped into the crook of your neck like it was second nature. Rafe barely had time to slide his arms around your waist before you pulled away, pressing a soft kiss to his hair. “Goodbye, Rafe. I really do hope you get better.”

You quickly hurried back to your car without another word, biting down on your lip so hard to stifle the sob threatening to rip through your chest that you tasted blood. Every cell in your body was screaming for you to turn around as you drove away, screaming that you were making a mistake—that Rafe needed you. But you couldn't. Because if you looked in the rearview mirror and saw the broken look on his face, you’d break down.

So you kept driving instead, telling yourself over and over that this was what needed to happen, both for you and for Rafe.

This was for the best.

Taglist:

no one ever thought your life would end the way it did.

it was past midnight, you and fezco were still in the store sitting in top of one of the coolers. lexi, rue and faye were chatting while you and fezco just listened, ashtray in the back, as usual.

maybe that was the weirdest combination of people to ever step a foot in the store, but ever since new year's day you had managed to become good friends with lexi, rue hung out with her from time to time, and faye was still staying at yours and fezco's house, and as fezco once said, she was really chill.

things had gotten a little rough since the fight between fezco and nate, but cal jacobs never showed up to the shop again, which was sketchy since he knew fezco was responsible for the scars on his son’s face.

you couldn't help but feel paranoid every time they were in an open place like the shop, you knew that the nate and his dad were irrational, and the idea that something could happen to fezco or ashtray made you feel anxious, scared, you wouldn't know how to live if something happened to one of them, at the end of the day, they were your family.

your head was resting on fezco's shoulder when he finally spoke “yo, I think we should close, it’s getting really late” he said as he got up from the fridge, offering you his hand so that you too would come down and escort him out.

“stay here girls, we won't be long” you said as you headed to the exit, the streets were dark and the only light that allowed you to see into them were the neon lights of the signs that adorned the store.

fezco kissed you slowly once you were out of the store. “i fucking love you, angel” he said lovingly, he didn’t like showing pda in front of people, so outside of the store was the best he could do right now. you smiled at him, returning the kiss.

you watched him as he closed the doors and windows, admiring how his eyelashes stood out under the soft blue lights, you could help but think of how cute he is.

you were so focused on your boyfriend's movements that you didn't hear the sound of a truck pulling up a few feet from you.

but what you did manage to hear was the characteristic metallic noise that pistols make when the safety is removed, your body stiffened, your heart beating strongly in your chest, fezco also heard it, covering your body with his, so he could protect you if anything happened.

your eyes began to scan the street, finding the black truck, and with the low visibility of the moment you managed to see it.

cal fucking jacobs, his gun pointed directly at fezco.

“y/n go ins-” fezco tried to warn you but he couldn't finish his sentence, a gunshot interrupted the silence that filled the neighborhood.

you started to feel like everything was in slow motion, your body pushing fezco out of the way, both of your bodies falling to the ground, his first, lexi's screams from inside the shop, how her voice cracked as she called out ashtray's name.

you catched a small glance of ashtray, while your body felt to the ground, he shot multiple times at the truck, only managing to break two of the windows, causing the man to quickly back up and change the course of his vehicle, quickly driving out of the neighborhood.

for a brief moment everyone thought that you and fezco had managed to get out of the situation unharmed, kneeling in front of each other, trying to catch your breath.

that until your body fell backwards, lying on the pavement, small drops of blood had fallen to the ground while you were kneeling, but now that you were laying down all the red liquid started to pool around your head.

fezco’s eyes widened when he saw the blood around you, he quickly crawled over to you, his hands went to the back of your neck, where he could feel the thick liquid mixing with your hair and marking your skin.

he grabbed your body and brought it to his chest, listening to your labored breaths, his eyes began to water, the ground in front of him continued to fill with your blood.

"i-i can't breath" your body writhed in pain, every breath you took hurt like a stab, your voice barely audible as you cried, your body feeling weaker and weaker.

“you'll be okay, angel. you’ll be okay” he said with a shaky voice, his hands trembling as he tried to put pressure on the wound, trying to stop the bleeding.

but who was he trying to fool?

rue and faye moved quickly, looking for fezco's cellphone so they could call 911, rue dialed the number, her whole body trembled, she tried to speak calmly but her voice kept breaking as she answered the questions the operator asked.

lexi couldn't move, couldn't speak, she knew you were dead from the second she saw the wound on your neck, either the bullet hit your arteries or your windpipe, either way you'd be dead in the next 5 minutes, nothing could avoid that.

you slowly raised your head from fezco's chest and turned to see him, your hands taking his face between them, wiping the tears that fell from his eyes, you had never seen him cry, and it was something you never expected to see, but there you were.

“i-i love you, s-so much” the words couldn’t go past your throat, talking hurt, breathing hurt, but you tried your best, you touched his face, admiring him one last time before resting your face on his chest again.

the moment was very intimate and too painful to watch.

you could feel how his tears fell on your chest, and he could feel how your body stopped moving more and more, how your crying began to stop. “no, no, no” he repeated, cupping your cheek. “please stay with me, please” he said with a broken voice.

ashtray watched from far how his brother cradled your body, like in those paintings where a man carried the dead body of his lover, ashtray had never seen his brother cry, just like you, it was a view that he never imagined, something that he prayed that wouldn’t happen.

fezco kept your body close to his, rocking you slowly, you weren't moving, but the blood kept falling on the floor, on his pants, staining his hand, which was still trying to stop the bleeding.

he sobbed, his chest felt tight, his body was shaking, with every cry, he watched you one last time, your face was calm, in peace, memories began to pass through his mind.

when he first met you, your first kiss, your first time, how much you loved him, all the displays of love, every adventure, he remembered every little thing.

he hugged your dead body with such a force he thought he would break it, leaving a kiss on top of your hair before resting his cheek on it, tears kept falling, now staining your soft hair.

the ambulance arrived six minutes after the accident, he refused to let you go, they ripped your body out of his arms so they could take you to the morgue.

fezco didn't move, he didn't want to see how they took your body, he sobbed, his face contorted in pain, how was he going to live without you?, you were the love of his life, you were his biggest reason to live, and now he didn't have you.

ashtray arrived to his side when the ambulance left, lexi and rue went with the paramedics, faye finished closing the windows and the door of the shop, then started walking towards the car.

ashtray hugged the trembling body of his brother, letting him rest his face on his shoulder while he cried, ashtray was mourning your death too, he loved you, and will always love you.

when lexi and rue arrived to the hospital they asked one of them to identify your body, rue was too sensitive to see you, so lexi took the risk.

when they uncovered your body she gasped softly, the coroner told her that the bullet had grazed your trachea, you were pronounced death by suffocation.

ashtray had managed to move fezco to he car with faye’s help, drived them home, he helped him to the couch, grabbing the blanket that he kept there so he could cover his brothers shaking body, he stayed with him the whole night.

.∞.

cal jacobs was arrested for murder, it also helped that maddie showed the police the disk, making him win more than 20 years of prison.

rue and lexi visited him every day, helping with everything they could while ash was taking care of the shop.

two days before your funeral lexi arrived to his home, alone, she wanted to help him, he knew it wasn’t easy, but now he had a big responsibility to take care of.

when she arrived she opened the door and went straight to his bedroom, knocking in the door three times before he slowly opened it, his short a little grown, his eyes bloodshot and tired.

“hi” she calmly said. “can we talk?” she asked him.

“sure” he said, moving from the door, leaving her enough space to walk in.

“fez, i loved y/n, she was one of the greatest persons i’ve ever met, so kind and so funny” she looked up at him, tears already threatening to fall off his eyes. “i want to help you fezco, her parents want you to write an eulogy, they want you to give a speech at her funeral.” she finally said.

he was a little shocked, your parents liked him, which he thought was weird because he was a drug dealer and stuff, but they actually liked him, that was why they were fine with you living with him, they knew he protected you, and they know it wasn't his fault you were gone.

.∞.

lexi helped him write the eulogy, she also helped him with his suit, he never wore one, and the only time he thought of wearing one was for his wedding with you, a day that will only part of his dreams.

he and ashtray arrived to the funeral, every friend of yours was there, maddie, cassie, kat, rue, jules, lexi, and other he couldn't quite place.

fezco walked to the podium, shaky hands holding the paper, he thanked everyone for being there, he started talking, being eloquent with his words, he told everyone your story, he told them that from the first time he met you he knew he wanted to marry you.

he kept himself calm, laughing at the memories, some tears falling on his freckled checks, everyone had small smiles in their faces as their remembered you, fezco described you so perfectly when he talked about you, he knew you were special, you were his forever, and he knew you would meet again someday.

The tension that rested in the air could almost kill you any second.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Electro asked, his brows knitted together.

Peter didn't respond, looking between everyone in the room, his eyes filled with distress. You took Aunt May's hand and pulled her to the doorway of the room, sending that something big was going to happen.

Peter closed his eyes, his spidey senses going wild, alerting him that something was going to happen, but he didn't know what. Focusing his energy, he inhaled and exhaled shortly before opening his eyes. He gritted his teeth and abruptly shot a web to Norman's hand onto the table, taking everyone by surprise.

Norman looked between his hand and Peter, his eyes darkening, "It's amazing...That sense of yours."

"May, I think we need to go." You whispered into her ear, your gut telling you it wasn't safe to stay here.

"Norman?" Doc Ock said.

"Norman's not here right now." He said, lowering his head and giving a half-smile.

You looked over at Peter, his eyes wide as he shot you a certain look, nodding your head in response. You slowly stepped back, not wanting to alert anyone with your movements or for them to refocus your attention on Aunt May or yourself.

"Did you really think that I'd let that happen? That I'd let you take away my power just because you're blind?" Norman ranted while you walked over to the table with the treatments. You took the cures and devices off of the table and shoved them inside your bag.

Cautiously walking back into the doorway, you stood next to Aunt May and gave a sly nod to Peter. Holding the bag tightly in one hand, you grabbed Aunt May's arm, ready to make a run for it.

"We don't need you to save us. We don't need to be fixed! This is not a curse, they're gifts." Norman exclaimed, his eyes wide with excitement. Norman looked over at the rest men, his desire for them to join him and to stop Peter Parker.

Electro looked down at his chest, the device beeping signalling that it was closer to curing him, closer to taking away his blessing.

"Norman, no." Doc Ock muttered, shaking his head.

"Quiet lab dog."

Peter's jaw clenched as he gave Norman a hard stare, "You don't know what you're talking about."

Norman narrowed his gaze, "I watched you from deep behind Norman's cowardly eyes. God's don't have to choose, we take." He shot Peter a cynical smile.

Peter kept his stare at Norman, afraid he might do something if he looked away. "Y/n, run." He warned you.

Pulling May's arm with the bag tight in your hand, you darted across the room. Electro immediately pulled off the device in his chest and aimed his hands for the Stark tech. Electrical beams were coursing through his veins and shot out from his hands, the device flying into his palms.

Norman ripped his hand off of the spiderwebs and threw a fist at Peter, hitting him on the jaw and sending him to the floor.

"May, quick!" You screamed, pulling her behind you to the elevator, your adrenaline on a high. You pressed the button to the elevator multiple times, wanting it to arrive already.

"Come on, come on, come on." You murmured, smashing the button in hopes of it working.

The lights around you began to flicker, causing an uncomfortable eerie feeling to settle in.

May's eyes were darting everywhere but paused on the stairwell. "Quick, Y/n, let's go through here." She whisper-yelled, pulling you down the stairs. You held tightly on the railings, the lights making it hard for you to watch your steps.

You felt the building shake as you almost lost balance, but Aunt May and yourself didn't stop running. The sirens of police cars and the sound of a helicopter only increased your anxiety.

Finally reaching the end of the stairwell, you pushed open the exit door allowing Aunt May to run past with you following behind her. Hues of red and blue flashed before your eyes and the smell of smoke entered your lungs.

The ceiling began to shake as you held May tightly beside you until the roof collapsed in front of you, two figures fell through, both grunting and moaning.

You pulled out the cure in the bag, gripping it tightly as though it was your life saviour. As the smoke began to crawl away, you were able to see Peter and Norman.

Your breath hitched in your throat once you saw the scene displayed to you. Norman on top of Peter, strangling his throat with his bare hands and Peter struggling to breathe. Peter tried to pry Norman's fingers away from his throat, but the intense power he had only led to futile attempts.

Gripping the cure tightly in your hands, you ran up to Norman, your seething resentment towards Norman had reached a boiling point. Norman was continuing his speech to Peter but froze once the syringe was stabbed into his neck.

Peter gurgled and gasped for air as Norman stumbled back, getting up and holding the syringe to his neck.

He pulled the syringe out and stared hard at it, a smile growing on his face. Standing in front of The Green Goblin was scarier than you had thought, his menacing laugh and the dark glint in his eyes.

He threw it away, his attention solely on you. "It didn't work," His voice was hard and raspy. Aunt May ran to join you, in defence of Peter Parker, she pulled a piece of metal that was detached from the ceiling.

Peter grunted, his breath shaky as he attempted to sit up. "So, you're Peter Parker's little girlfriend? Norman was right, he got it from you. That pathetic-" He stomped his feet onto Peter's weak back,"-sickness." Peter's body fell to the floor again due to the impact of Norman's foot. He moaned as Norman knelt and pulled his hair so that we could see his face.

Peter's eyes landed on you, the fear and humiliation were evident in his face that you would see him in such a poor state.

"You're crazy, Norman." You muttered, your eyes burning with hate.

"He tried to fix me, Y/n. Tried to take away my gift."

You shook your head, "it's not a gift, Norman. You're sick." You growled, stepping in front of May.

"Go back..." Peter breathed out, his voice gravelly.

"Now, I'm going to fix you."

The sudden whirring outside alerted you, spinning your head around, you could see the shadow of a glider through the window.

"May, run please." Peter croaked

The glider got closer and the noise increased, if May doesn't move she would get hit. In a last-second split decision, you shoved May to the right, letting her fall to the ground and before you knew it, glass shattered everywhere and the Glider directly collided against your back.

"Y/n!" Peter screamed as he watched you fall into the debris, not moving.

You wanted to scream so badly, the pain unreal and you couldn't feel anything past your hips.

Norman took the chance to hop on his glider, he threw on a cloak and flew in front of Peter, a wicked smirk on his face.

Peter stumbled and tried to stand up but he only fell to his knees. Peter looked up at Norman his facial features expressing betrayal and hopelessness. Peter glanced at Aunt May who was cowering in the corner, her hands trembling over her mouth once she realised you had taken the blow for her.

"Peter, Peter, Peter...No good deed goes unpunished. You can thank me later." Norman took a glance at your fixed body, his eyes wide with chaos. Norman pressed a button on the neon green hand bomb he held and threw it to your body, a malicious smile on his face as he escaped the building as fast as he could.

"No!" Peter screamed, using all of the leftover strength he had, he jumped in the way of the bomb. Peter's fingers stroked the bomb, stopping it from hitting you, but nevertheless, the explosion was loud and hit Peter, throwing him to the back of the wall.

More explosions followed but they occurred outside from where Norman left, cars were blown up and the debris flew everywhere. Loud crashes and sirens were all you could hear, the smoke enveloped everything in its way.

The ringing in your ear and the muffled talking weren't enough for you to miss the stinging all over your body, groaning you turned to rest on your back. The harsh sensation in your stomach was hard to forget, bring your fingers, you lightly grazed the area where the glass is piercing you, whimpering at every touch. You brought your hands to your face to take a look. Your fingers had scarlet red running to the sides, a nauseous feeling kicking in as you stared at your quivering fingers.

Too focused on your stained hands, you hadn't realised Peter was sitting beside you, calling out for you until he took your hands into his.

"Y/n? Y/n, you're okay." He whispered, his eyes tracing around your face.

You inhaled, panic setting in, "P-Peter. I can't feel-" You gulped, unable to keep talking.

Peter shook his head and closed his eyes, "You're okay, Y/n. Come on, let's go." He wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you tight and slowly tried to pull you off of the ground. As soon as you felt Peter try to lift you, a sharp pain ran through your body and you cried out.

"Peter, I-I can't do this. It hurts so much." You squinted your eyes, feeling the tears begin to fall as you were placed back on the gravel.

"Okay, just take your time and try to catch your breath." He nodded, almost as if he was trying to convince himself. Peter brought his hand out to brush the hair out of your face and wipe away the dirt that sat on your cheeks. "I'm not going anywhere, I'll be here as long as you need me to be."

Aunt May sat behind Peter, every instinct in her body was screaming at her to thank you, to apologise, to help you, but she knew that this moment was for Peter and Peter only. There was no other way to help you, talking to you was the best comfort you could get. The blood that began to pool around you and stain Peter's clothes was too confrontational for Peter to want to acknowledge, he didn't want to believe that this was happening.

You breathed out, your eyes became heavy within every past second. Closing your eyes, you let yourself rest for a second, longing to forget about everything.

"Y-Y/n, don't close your eyes," Peter pleaded, his anxiety growing as you become weaker by the second. "Somebody help! I need an ambulance, please, somebody!" He called out, hearing the sirens wailing in the background.

"Peter, she's not going to-" Aunt May tried to explain to him, her eyes pooling with tears.

"No, no, no.." He whispered, trying to wipe the blood away from your wound, but it only made it worse as more began to flow out.

You smiled for him, wanting to pretend it was okay, but it kept faltering with every sharp stab you felt.

"I love you, Peter." You whispered, taking his quivering hand into your shaky ones.

Peter shook his head, the tears streaming down his face, "Don't say that. Please don't say that, Y/n." He begged, brushing his lips against your forehead.

Peter lowered his mouth to kiss your lips, your cold lips felt softer than Peters chapped ones. Using all of your strength, you kissed back as hard as you could, though it felt weak for Peter. You could taste the blood on Peter's lips as he deepened the kiss further, resting his hand on your cheek.

Pulling away for a breath of air, Peter returned his lips to your forehead, closing his eyes, silently wishing he could kiss you without you bleeding to death.

You felt your body go limb, the pain slowly relieving its self. There was so much you wanted to say Peter, but you just didn't have the energy. You wanted to encourage him, to help him fight, to let him know that your death wasn't the result of him. But as you lied there, you had no energy to speak, instead, you stayed silent, allowing yourself to fall into the depths of the darkness.

Peter pulled away from you, his eyebrows furrowed. "Y/n?" He asked quietly. But you didn't respond.

"Hey, Y/n. What are you doing? Talk to me." He pleaded, blinking away the tears but they just kept resurfacing.

"Y/n, please.." He begged, clutching onto your clothes as his body began to shake. "I love you, come back, please. Talk to me."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." Peter whispered into your hair as he shook with sobs. Peter hadn't noticed Aunt May holding him back, telling him that the authorities were outside.

"We have to go, Peter," she said urgently.

Peter kept shaking his head and peppering your forehead with kisses, mumbling incoherent words. He wasn't prepared to let you go. Not now, not ever.

--

a/n: her back was broken but not in the good way

"Jesper, I have known you for long enough to recognize that look in your eye."

"I am insulted, Y/N!"

"Will you two be quiet," Kaz snapped, slamming his cane into the ground to get them both to shut up. Kaz let out a long, drawn out sigh and closed his eyes. "Y/N, you cannot walk back to the Slat with a knife sticking out your leg."

"Who says I can't?" Y/N challenged, looking up at Kaz.

"Me," Kaz shot back. "Jesper, pull it out."

"Jesper, do not pull it out," Y/N snapped, her head turning to look at Jesper threateningly, narrowing her eyes.

"Jesper, do not listen to her -"

"Jesper, do listen to me otherwise I will melt down those precious revolvers of yours and turn them into jewellery."

"Jesper, ignore Y/N."

"Kaz!"

"Y/N!"

Y/N let out a screech of pain as the knife was suddenly pulled out her leg and then someone's hand pressed down, hard, on to the wound.

"What the fuck, Jesper!" Y/N yelled, whacking him on the shoulder as she resisted the urge to actually punch him.

"Sorry, gorgeous, but quite frankly, Kaz scares me more than you do," Jesper replied, shrugging and giving her his iconic Jesper smile in an attempt to make things better.

Y/N wanted to slap him but was in too much pain to actually commit. Her leg was throbbing and burning and she really wanted someone to knock her out. Jesper pulled Y/N's scarf from around her neck and wrapped it around her thigh.

"You're going to regret this, Jesper," Y/N complained, dropping her head back against the wall she was leaning on and closing her eyes. "Say goodbye to those revolvers."

"Y/N, stop threatening Jesper," Kaz drawled. He glanced around the alleyway they were hiding in. "We should go before someone finds us."

"How are we getting Y/N back?" Jesper asked, tying the scarf in a knot.

"Just because Y/N's eyes are closed, doesn't mean she can't hear you," Y/N said, opening her eyes and glaring at Jesper. "Y/N, will walk."

Kaz stared. "You can't walk."

"Then I will hop," Y/N replied.

Using her good leg, Y/N began to awkwardly push herself up. She wobbled to the side and Jesper caught her, wrapping an arm around her waist and letting Y/N push herself up using his other hand.

"Are you really going to hop back to the Slat?" Jesper asked, raising his eyebrows as Y/N wobbled again, her right leg barely supporting her own weight.

"Hop, crawl, slide, glide and pivot - either way I'll make it back," Y/N replied, although as she spoke her grip on Jesper's hand tightened and she wobbled again.

Kaz watched Y/N, his eyes narrowing a fraction. He flexed the hand that was wrapped around his cane and exhaled slowly.

"Use this," Kaz said gruffly, holding out his cane.

Jesper and Y/N turned to stare at him with wide eyes. Kaz rolled his eyes at their reaction and grabbed Y/N's right hand by her wrist, physically placing the cane into it.

"Come along," Kaz called, limping off down the alley with remarkable speed.

Jesper and Y/N stared after him.

"Ok, what the fuck," Y/N whispered, looking at Jesper with wide eyes. She could feel the golden crows head of the cane in her hand, her index finger resting along its beak.

"I told you he liked you," Jesper said, winking.

Y/N whacked Jesper's knees with Kaz's cane and Jesper yelped. "As if. Kaz doesn't like anyone - he barely likes himself, Jesper."

"Of course, darling," Jesper said placatingly. "Come along, hop along, Kaz is probably back by now at the speed he went off at."

"We scared him off," Y/N replied as they slowly walked back to the Slat, Y/N relying heavily on Kaz's cane and Jesper as she did a weird, hop, shuffle, slide.

"You weren't actually going to melt my revolvers down, were you?" Jesper asked, pausing suddenly.

Y/N stumbled at Jesper's sudden stop. She looked up at him. "No, of course not. I'm not that mean," she replied, smiling. Jesper smiled back and nodded, reassured of his revolvers fate. "Yet," Y/N added quietly.

"I look ridiculous."

"You look wonderful."

"You look gorgeous."

Y/N gave Inej and Jesper an unconvinced look and sighed, slumping into a chair. "Why do I have to wear this? Why can't Inej wear it?"

Kaz barely looked up from the map he was studiously studying. "I need Inej on the roofs. I need Jesper in the crowds and I need you attracting the crowds with your beautiful dancing."

Y/N snorted. She picked up the hem of her long, draping sleeve and picked at the white fabric with her nails.

"Why can't I dress up as literally any other character, why does it have to be this one?" Y/N asked, tilting her head back to look at Kaz.

"Because this one attracts more people and means there are less people watching when we break in to the house," Kaz explained slowly. And because you look beautiful in white. He stood up from his desk and fold the map up into a square small enough to fit into his coat pocket.

The rest of them took that as their sign to go and Y/N stood up, smoothing the white silk of her dress down as she stood. Compared to the dark, muted colours of the rest of the crows, Y/N looked like a ghost. Or a Saint.

Y/N followed Inej out the door but was stopped suddenly when a gloved hand wrapped around her wrist, yanking her to a stop.

"What now?" Y/N asked, turning around to look at Kaz with a despairing frown.

Kaz responded by throwing a coat at her. Y/N caught it with a flail of her arms as it landed on her head. She stumbled back into Inej and Y/N could have sworn she heard the Suli girl giggle.

"Put that on, you'll look less conspicuous," Kaz explained, barging past her and Jesper and walking down the corridor, his cane clicking loudly on the wooden floor. Inej pressed herself against the wall as Kaz passed, a smile on her face as she looked at Y/N.

Y/N pulled the coat on, flicking the collar up and untucking her hair from underneath it. She pulled the sleeves of her dress down and adjusted the coat until it was comfortable.

"Y/N."

"Mmm?" Y/N looked up at Inej. "What?"

"That's Kaz's coat."

"No, it isn't."

"Yes, it is."

"He's wearing his coat, Inej," Y/N said, leaning over the bannister to double check. "Yeah, he's wearing his coat."

"Y/N, Kaz has more than one coat, love," Jesper reminded. He picked up her arm and sniffed the coat. "Smells like him."

"I don't even want to know how you know what Kaz smells like," Y/N said, staring at Jesper.

"Are you three coming or not?!" Kaz yelled from the foot of the stairs. "Hurry up!"

The three of them quickly moved and Y/N jogged down the stairs, holding up the hem of her dress and Kaz's coat.

Kaz was waiting in the back door of the Slat, his hands around the crow's head of his cane, looking bored and unimpressed.

"Done gossiping?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

He turned around and headed out the door, expecting them to follow. Y/N scoffed and shook her head and followed after him, stepping out into the street and shivering slightly at the cold Ketterdam night

The four of them moved into their usual positions as they headed down to West Stave. Kaz in the centre, Jesper on his right, Y/N on his left and Inej hovering behind Jesper like a wraith.

As they turned the corner to the main street, the crowds growing in size as the neared the pleasure houses, Kaz slowed down a bit and turned to look at Inej.

"No mourners," he said.

Inej pulled her hood up and nodded. "No funerals."

She climbed up onto a barrel, swung herself onto a balcony and then onto a roof and she disappeared into the fog.

Y/N hated walking down West Stave as much as Inej did. Neither one of them wanted to be reminded of their past. As they neared the house Y/N had been indebted to, Y/N heistated slightly, her confident stride faltering.

Kaz stopped suddenly, Jesper dodging to the side to avoid walking into him. He frowned but Kaz whacked his leg with his cane and nodded his head to Y/N.

Jesper understood instantly and moved to stand on Y/N's left, his hands settling onto the pearl handles of his revolvers. Kaz moved to stand on Y/N's right and they resumed walking.

Y/N smiled slightly as both boys moved closer to her as they walked past the house, Jesper's hand moving from his revolver and brushing Y/N's fingers reassuringly.

The three of them marched down West Stave until they were at the bridge that went over the canal, connecting either side.

"Alright, it's time," Kaz said, stopping outside a butcher's shop and leaning against the wall.

Y/N shrugged out of the coat and handed it to Kaz. The wind sent ripples through the light fabric of her white dress and Y/N shivered with excitement.

"Jesper, watch her back the entire time," Kaz said, his eyes boring into Jesper's. "The entire time."

"Yeah, yeah, alright," Jesper muttered, rolling his eyes.

Y/N looked over to the bridge and spotted a large group of people clamouring over the street performers who were just finishing. Among them was the Merchant they had targeted and his family. She'd found her target.

"Got them," she said softly, turning back to face Kaz. "Ready, Jes?"

Jesper nodded. "No mourners."

"No funer -"

"Hold on."

Y/N frowned as Kaz cut her off. "What?"

Kaz limped over to a stall near the butcher's shop that was selling flower crowns. He handed over some kruge and picked up a dark purple one.

Y/N watched Kaz carefully as he came back over. He walked up to her, standing so close to her that his coat brushed her stomach. Kaz reached up and placed the flower crown on Y/N's head with surprising gentleness.

Kaz tilted his head back, his eyes narrowing slightly. He reached forward and his fingers brushed Y/N's cheek as he moved a strand of hair to the side.

Y/N didn't breathe as Kaz touched her hair, adjusting her flower crown. This was the closest Kaz had ever been to her and the most he'd touched her - even if it was just a brush of a gloved hand against her cold face.

"Now we're ready," Kaz said, his gravelly voice quiet. "No mourners," he said, raising his voice as he turned and limped off towards the house.

"No funerals," Y/N and Jesper called after him.

As soon as Kaz was gone Y/N turned to Jesper, grabbing his hands tightly.

"What the fuck was that?!" She exclaimed.

"Not a clue," Jesper replied, thoroughly perplexed by Kaz's actions. "You look cute, however." He reached up and moved her flower crown slightly.

"I always look cute," Y/N said, smirking.

Jesper laughed, throwing his arm around her shoulders. "Aw, look, I'm rubbing off on you!"

Y/N jumped over a barrel and skidded around the corner as she ran from the Stadwatch She turned into an alley, falling into Inej and Jesper as they ran out the same alley and into her.

Jesper grabbed Y/N's arm as she wobbled backwards and yanked her back into the alley, pushing her against the wall.

"They saw me," Y/N panted, bracing herself on her legs as she tried to catch her breath. "They know what I look like."

A cloak was thrown at her face and Y/N made a sound of surprise, spluttered and flailed her arms around trying to catch the cloak.

"Put that on," Kaz said, his voice emerging from the darkness.

Y/N untangled herself from the cloak and wrapped the dark red material around her shoulders. She linked the clasps together and organised the cape on her shoulders.

Kaz walked forward and stood before her. "Pull the hood up."

Y/N scooped her hair to the side and pulled the hood up to sit just above her forehead.

"It'll do," Kaz grumbled. "Let's go."

He walked off first and the other three fell into step beside him. They walked out into the street, walking along the canal, heading back to the Slat.

"Stadwatch," Jesper muttered.

Kaz glanced up and saw three members of the Stadwatch marching over the bridge and in their direction. He glanced at Y/N.

"Jesper, put your arm around Y/N's shoulders," Kaz muttered, keeping his head down.

Jesper did as Kaz said and Y/N could feel her heartbeat increasing as the Stadwatch got closer.

A hat landed on her head over the top of the cloak hood and Y/N tried not to show her startled surprise. The Stadwatch walked past them and Y/N turned her head into Jesper, wrapping her arm around his waist.

"All clear," Inej said softly and Jesper and Y/N relaxed.

Jesper kept his arm around her shoulders and knocked on the rim of the hat that sat on her head with his knuckles.

"Nice hat," Jesper teased.

Y/N reached up and pulled the hat off her head, eyes widening with surprise as she realised it was Kaz's hat.

"Wait, Kaz -" Y/N looked over her shoulder for Kaz but the man had vanished, taking Inej with him. "What the -"

Jesper let out an over-exaggerated sigh. "It suits you, you should keep it."

Y/N elbowed Jesper in the ribs and he let out a bark of laughter as he dodged to the side, avoiding her following punch.

For once, their usual pairings had changed. Inej was with Jesper on the opposite side of the building whilst Kaz and Y/N were hovering outside the front of the building, waiting for Inej and Jesper to return.

They'd narrowly escaped a run in with the Dime Lions, escaping with only a few bullets being fired and punches being thrown.

And apparently, it was Y/N's fault.

"You were the only one who knew, Y/N," Kaz growled, glaring at her as he leant against a wall.

Y/N scoffed. She pushed herself up off the wall and paced up and down the street. "Of course. It hasn't occurred to you that it might have been someone eavesdropping or someone who told someone else - we went to three different locksmiths asking for heavy duty lockpicks, any of them could have been paid of by Pekka Rollins."

"It's far more likely that you accidentally let something slip -"

"Do you truly think so little of me, Kaz?" Y/N asked, pausing and looking at Kaz.

I think the world of you, Kaz wanted to say. But he kept quiet.

"Gee, thanks," Y/N muttered, rolling her eyes.

The adrenaline was beginning to fade now and her entire body ached. She'd climbed across a roof, been punched and shot at and thrown into a wall in the past hour and all she really wanted was to go to her bed in the Slat and sleep.

Instead she had to cope with Kaz being Kaz.

"I didn't say anything to anyone, Kaz," Y/N said softly, looking at him from the shadows. "And I only knew the bare minimum. I would never betray you, Kaz. Why can't you see that?"

"Because the last time I trusted someone," a muscle in Kaz's jaw jumped and his hands clenched around the head of his cane, "I lost everything." His dark eyes looked up from the ground and locked on to Y/N's. "I will not make that mistake again."

"And so you blame me," Y/N finished. She scoffed and shook her head. "Fine."

Y/N walked back up the street, returning to her spot in the dark opposite Kaz. Her left side was throbbing and she absent-mindedly brushed her fingers against it.

Red stained her fingertips.

Y/N paused in front of Kaz, her eyes locked onto the blood.

It was as if the sight of red on her fingers sparked a reaction inside her brain. Y/N became aware of the burning feeling in her side and the unbearable pain that washed over her. Dark, black spots dotted her vision and she could hear her heart pounding in her ears.

Her knees buckled and Y/N fell backwards, losing her balance entirely. The cobbled streets rushed up to meet her and Y/N vaguely realised that her head was about to smash against the stones and that no one was there to catch her.

Someone grasped her arm, their grip painfully hard. They stumbled down to the ground with Y/N, trying to slow her descent on to the stones. Y/N felt her right shoulder and her side collide with the ground and the impact vibrated through her entire body.

Y/N felt someone pull her against their knees, supporting her awkwardly on the ground. Her eyes focused again and she managed to look up.

Kaz was kneeling beside her, his knees supporting her back, his gloved hand still wrapped around her arm. The two of them were in the middle of the street and Y/N barely hid her surprise at the fact Kaz had saved her from smashing her head into the cobbles.

Kaz was struggling. His brain was screaming at him to let go and he could feel the waters rising again, lapping around his waist and soaking his legs. But Y/N's eyes were locked on to his and his hand was still around her arm, his knees supporting her. He couldn't let go. He wouldn't let her go.

"What's wrong?" Kaz forced himself to ask, his voice harsher and deeper than normal. He cleared his throat and took his hand off Y/N's arm and carefully moved her jacket aside, his bare wrist brushing the bare skin of her bloody side as he lifted her shirt up a bit.

"I don't - I don't remember," Y/N stammered her own shaking hand hovering over the bullet wound in her side.

"Don't," Kaz said, pushing her hand away as she went to poke it.

Kaz had seen numerous injuries in his lifetime. It was like Jesper said - pointing a gun at someone in Ketterdam was a way of saying hello. He'd experienced his fair share of injuries and had seen both Jesper and Inej at their worst, bleeding out and pale.

But, for some reason, it was different with Y/N. Kaz swallowed and took his gloves off, pressing them against her side with his bare hands.

He was used to blood. It no longer fazed him. What was fazing him was Y/N's sluggish pupils slipping away from his gaze.

"Say you're sorry," Y/N muttered, her head falling onto Kaz's thigh as her body went limp.

"I don't say sorry, Y/N, you know that," Kaz replied, taking a hand off her side and gently nudging her head so that she was looking up at him. "I know you didn't tell."

"That almost sounded like an apology," Y/N said, her voice quiet. She was silent for a minute but then said, "who did you trust?"

Kaz froze. "What?"

Y/N opened her eyes wider and turned her head to look at Kaz properly. "You told me that the last time you trusted someone," she paused and took a deep breath in, wincing, "you lost everything. Who did you trust?"

Kaz could feel the waters rising, flooding his body. His eyes unfocused and he was back in the bay, Jordie's body underneath his hands, his brothers rotting skin the only thing he could feel.

Y/N's hand clusmily wrapped around his wrist and Kaz blinked, startled.

But he didn't pull away. He blinked again and clenched his jaw.

"My brother," Kaz said quietly, his voice harsh and rough. "He told me that 'our luck was changing' and then not even a week later he was dead and I was alone. I had nothing. And I haven't trusted anyone since. Until you. I trust you, Y/N."

Kaz looked down at her. Y/N had passed out, her head on his thigh, her hand still gripping his wrist. Kaz smiled for a moment and shook his head. He confessed his heart to her and she passed out on him. Kaz looked up as he heard Jesper and Inej running towards him and found himself relaxing just a little bit more as he saw that his other two crows were ok.