two corpses we were, two corpses i saw.

my boyfriend told me last week that he thinks we should take a break. not a forever break, a temporary break. and after some time to think, i wholeheartedly agree. 

i love him and i want to share my future with him. but the way we have each been processing the trauma that happened regarding the gunshot was really unhealthy. we relied on eachother too much. our mental healths suffered, and when he struggled, i struggled because he was struggling. we are going to take some time to work on ourselves and become the best versions of ourselves we can possibly be. he is gonna work on his mental health before his move to hong kong, which is in september. i have a therapy appointment on wednesday.

i have already decided to write down one thing i love about myself every day and make a log of my mental health. i want to use this break to discover who i am, what i love, and spend more time with my friends. 

i think this break will help us individually, AND prepare us for an even stronger future together. neither of us did anything wrong but we need to work on our own issues so our relationship can strengthen. we are gonna re-assess the situation at the end of the semester. we are staying close, sharing stories and texting, sending snapchats. he told me when he first told me he needed a break that he still wants to be a part of my life and he wants me to be a part of his. we still love each other and we still tell each other that. he loves me so much he is giving me time to become an independent person. i hope his mental health can improve, and i truly believe it will. since he moved from the house where we heard the gunshot, his mental health has already improved! 

we are gonna be long distance half a planet and a 13 hour time difference away 

like im done trying to plan e v e r y t h i n g. this shouldnt be hard to plan, assuming we go to the march madness game at 7:30 (big IF since he cannot plan for shit)