Headline Hunter

Is also clinically insane.

Thank goodness Forbes is here to tell Apple, the largest company in the world, what they need to do right after their most profitable quarter ever.

Nothing. There is nothing you need to know. Because the chances that you are going to live there are minuscule.

He's from Texas and he has Ebola. At least you didn't bury the lead there.

The Secret Service let an ICEBERG sneak into the White House?

You couldn't fit "Crouching" into that headline? You know ... so it would actually make some kind of sense?

"Yes, hello, I was planning on hacking into some of your customers' accounts. Is now a good time for you?"

I guess that's more logical than it being attacked by rabbits.

Thanks for covering the international desk while I was out sick. You can go back to writing movie reviews now.

I'm going out on a limb here, but I'm guessing they'll ... advise?

If you can't tell which of these two extremes a new product falls into, you probably have no business covering technology.

"Barista" is Italian for "bartender," you redundant Americans.

Well it's about time.

Really? That's the lesson you take away from this story about punishing ordinary citizens over a political vendetta? "Be careful what you text?"

Isn't eBay already the eBay of e-commerce? Why would they strive to be a startup?

Math, of course, has a perfect track record in predicting economic trends, which is why no one has ever lost money in the stock market and a bubble collapse has never caused a recession.

Riiight ... He just happened to be at every murder scene ... because he was documenting them ...