𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲

     had valentina known that a vast amount of her time at nyu would be spent ignoring rumors about the donations used to secure her spot , she would’ve hit ‘ accept ’ on brown’s offer of admission. the whole ordeal is EXHAUSTING , to say the least. no , her parents don’t own half of central park south and no , her godfather isn’t warren buffett ( two rumors she’s had to refute more than once this week alone ). she’s desperate for someone — anyone — to recognize that she too has potential , drive and is just as smart as the students that populate her classes. so much so that she can’t help the loud sigh that escapes her as she stares into the VOID that are her political theory notes. a caffeine boost is needed , stat. / ( & @hcrveys​ ! )

     IN ALL HONESTY, harvey isn’t wrong. he’s not wrong in assuming that jude tends to weed out the bad in his life and thus his image, all to protect his nearly pristine family name. the perfect example of this is his relationship with kaia— while the chemistry was clearly there and jude very much enjoyed his time with her, he knew the repercussions of being spotted with someone as wild as kaia, the perfect childhood star going through what was at the time comparable to a rebellious phase… it wasn’t worth it. he hadn’t had a career yet. he was living in his mother’s shadow. though he was appreciative of it, it made it much harder to make a name for himself in that aspect. he was always eloise wells’ son or the goddamn golden boy but rarely was he jude. not until now. so, in short, his image meant the world to him and he couldn’t fuck it up just because he was a horny teenager.

and he’s aware that harvey and kaia are friends, maybe more. it’s hard to say, after all, the press certainly loved to put the two together and write them off as lovers. and if they were, so be it but at the same time, kaia probably would’ve mentioned it by now. jude presses his lips together and looks down at his cup of coffee. he’s careful to stay quiet as a crew member walks by them and he swallows hard before he continues. a smirk slides onto his lips. “so you think i have a dazzling smile?” he’s teasing and it’s soaked in sarcasm. “would you believe i’m just that capable of handling my shit?” he takes his lower lip between his teeth. “and don’t you think it’s working out for me? if i’m ‘cutting people off’ and ‘paying off the paps’ like you say i am, how does that affect you?”

                       HE TRIES TO FORGET SOME of the more scarring conversations he has with his parents, most of which stem from places of disappointment, or new projects that they practically force down his throat. they’ve never had much of a RELATIONSHIP, not when his parents practically live on sets half the year, and are on press tours the other half. not when just like him, they’re forced to put on an ACT — he can’t remember the last time they’ve actually asked him a question about his life outside acting. one particularly hurtful comment came from his mother, asking, with her phone open to a tmz article of him stepping out of a club with his shirt half unbuttoned, why he couldn’t be more like jude ( sure, amongst a handful of other names, but still ). 

paloma : ok well you make it too easy

paloma : tmz doesn't have anything degrading or false to report on me because i don't give them material :)

paloma : and i'm sure matti james has at least ONE problem

paloma : if not maybe you should do some character work

harvey : spare me the lecture, lola

harvey : tmz's so up it's own ass i could cure cancer and all they'd care about is who i was fucking

harvey : once the village hits #1 and you're being followed by every goddamned person on earth they'll find something

paloma : i don't know why you keep acting like i'm the evil scum between your toes

paloma : i'm very nice you just can't see/hear it over the sight/sound of you crying out about being the least fortunate person in the world

paloma : pretty sure matti doesn't complain as much as you do

harvey : don't act like you don't take low blows at me too

harvey : exhibit a ^^, thank u for making my point easier to make.

harvey : how about YOU try to live a life when most people's perceptions of you are first of all, degrading, second of all, completely false

Naomi rolled her eyes at his comment, a smirk gracing her lips. “Only because I’m feeling generous today.” Not completely true for she was generous every day. A known “nice” person because of her foolish tendency to give people the benefit of the doubt. Cliché as it sounds, she easily believed it would not hurt to be kind. “Wouldn’t doubt good genes ran in your family,” she remarked, grinning his way, “not that I’m counting, but I got three smiles from you already. That must count for a world record.” Come to think of it, the few pictures she saw of him rarely even showed an expression on his face. Happiness—or some semblance of it, she could not say for sure—looked good on Harvey. It made him appear more human, more alive. “Stick with me long enough, and I might rub off on you.” She winked and as an afterthought, shared her nugget of truth. “I’d like to think there’s always a silver lining.” Or maybe she was just used to drawing one. Needing to fend for herself, Naomi harbored the ability to turn things into her favor. Not everything was lost, she wanted Harvey to know; Naomi could only hope to shed some light for him. “Maybe you’re not around the right people who could show you otherwise,” she said, shrugging, “you’re in for an adventure, Harvey Strathmore, I’m going to change your mind about that.” All of Hollywood’s superficialities were good for satisfaction, yes, but it was not enough to offer her something genuine, worthy. It was hard to know what was real in showbiz for sure, but Naomi knew character when she sees one. And Harvey had one, try as he might to bury it. Letting out a small huff, she confirmed his guess. “A bloody marathon in heels, which I never thought possible. That day, I learned I’m full of surprises.” Stepping in the café, Naomi made a beeline for the table in the heart of the room. “Seems like you know a lot about this place, so I’ll have to trust you on this one.” The center was the sweet spot to get a feel of the room, and Naomi found herself easily appreciating the serene atmosphere of it all. Almost like a safe space. “Found yourself a hidden gem here. Tell me, is this a Harvey happy place?”

                        HE ROLLS HIS EYES AT the mention of his family — he doesn’t need more reminders of his parents fame, his brother’s godlike figure. harvey figures that the more dissociation from his last name, the better: but even he realizes it’s just a tad hard to distance himself from them. they’re goddamned EVERYWHERE. “ yeah — i inherited all the good ones, my brother, on the other hand … dunno how got on the people’s sexiest men alive list, ” he pokes fun. “ hate to be the bearer of bad news, but i AM a normal person who smiles a normal amount. ” he knows she’s just trying to tease, to lighten up the conversation, but he supposes it does bother him, even slightly, to be pinned as a GROUCH from a cast-mate who hardly knows him. but her tone is friendly, naomi certainly doesn’t mean any harm — he can’t hold it against her for being unaware of his deepest insecurities. silver linings, maybe there was something to be learned from that. harvey’s pessimism often clouded the moments of GOODNESS, times when he’d smile so hard his cheeks would hurt. and she challenges him: she says she’ll change his mind and he shrugs, not wanting to shoot her down, or tell her about the ways his manager has tried to make him SEE THE LIGHT in the past. he’s practically got his mind made up at this point, but if she’s willing to try, he supposes he’ll at least listen to what she might have to say — she might surprise him, she already has. 

paloma : are you asking me because everyone else in your contacts avoided giving you a really answer?

harvey: it may come as a surprise lola, but i actually do have friends

naomi: aw don’t worry hun, you’re…on your way there

naomi: nothin’ beats being boring enough to get petitioned to be written off the show smh

naomi: even got labeled ‘tayl*r’ bc i don’t cause enough drama wELL BITE ME TROY

harvey: am i really nothing like "literal ray of sunshine" matti ?

     the laughter the two used to share is close enough for paloma to retain strong , vivid memories of it. with the number of shared imaginary friends , inside jokes and common experiences the two shared at a young age , it was impossible for anyone to foresee how FRACTURED their relationship would become. paloma can still feel the whiplash of going from inseparable childhood friends , to each other’s emotional kryptonite. ❝ maybe instead of telling me , you should talk to the producers directly. or — i don’t know — write them a strongly worded email , if you think your natural dramatics might be off-putting , ❞ she sighs , already feeling herself grow tired of harvey’s cynicism , a trait that undoubtedly pushed her further away as they forged individual paths. as the HAPPY-GO-LUCKY boy faded away ( through his parents’ actions ) , less and less of their friendship seemed remotely salvageable. a fact neither of their families ever seemed to notice , or allow themselves to internalize and understand. though , paloma’s family has always been less pushy about the two of them getting along. ❝ when that card’s printed and ready to be sent out , i’ll be sure use my best calligraphy to let them know that usually , my type’s a little less HARRY BINGHAM and a little more grizz visser. or , in terms they can understand , a little less harvey strathmore , and a little more matti james. at the end of the day , the constant ‘ woe is me ’ act really doesn’t do it for me , ❞ she quips , unable to hold back yet another another sigh , ❝ as for the interview , trust me , i much rather would’ve called over anyone else to help save me from another set of HYPER-PERSONAL questions , but sadly you were the only one close enough for me to grab. it’s a mistake i won’t be making again anytime soon. ❞

     she throws a final eye roll harvey’s way , before both settle back into their assignment , their professionalism taking the reins. her head nods ( absent-mindedly ) as harvey runs through his characterization of harvey , trying to get her own hold on HARPER HAYES. as with valentina , paloma finds herself underlining , circling , scribbling in the margins and empty blank spaces of her script , every instinct and thought inspired by the writers’ own words jotted down before she can forget. this is her process , an intimate routine she almost feels harvey is an INTRUDER to , his presence made more obvious as he gets up from his chair. with a final look at her notes , she mirrors his actions , getting up and standing as close as two friendly co-workers would ( which is far closer than she and harvey have , at least since they were twelve ). ❝ it’s not really my scene , ❞ she shrugs , feigned disinterest coloring her words , taking on harper’s character with an ease even she’s impressed by , ❝ plus , i wasn’t exactly invited. ❞ the push and pull of her motivations is all too clear : on one hand , there’s the large crowd of potentially intoxicated strangers but , on the other , there’s her cute co-worker , with whom she’s been DYING to spend time with outside of work. the tension is bizarrely well-suited for the current situation. on one hand , harvey and paloma can barely seem to achieve civility , but , on the other , the characters they take on in the blink of an eye and their COMPLICITY take paloma back to something nostalgically familiar.

                        SHE RAISES A GOOD POINT: there’s no use taking out his frustrations on paloma, who sits in the exact same predicament as he is, standing face to face with a person who had once been his friend. “ fine, ” he grumbles. she might have even been his best friend, even, perhaps. he doesn’t know what kind of qualifier he would put on a friendship he can barely remember. part of that stems from naturally aging, memories of toddler years simply haven’t developed in his brain, but there’s certainly another part of harvey that has tried to block her OUT — unintentionally, perhaps. self-destructive, certainly. fighting his DEMONS when he was seventeen and believed the world was conspiring against him ( he still feels that way, of course, but to a lesser degree ), he’d pushed away GOOD memories, and those that made him feel like life was just unfair. paloma vidal fit in those boxes, shiny blonde hair and a naive smile — like that, his opinion of her changed. figures, she’d use fictional characters to point out his flaws. it wouldn’t take but an OUNCE of self-reflection to note the similarities: privilege, an unfair world, even a trip down the avenue of drugs. he rolls his eyes. “ i’m not THAT dramatic, ” he defends, though his lack of eye contact might spell otherwise. “ — usually. obviously, everyone would pick MATTI, he’s got like, no flaws. happy, carefree, charming, cool. doesn’t give a shit about what people think of his … hipster style. ” his voice goes soft, for a moment: it’s clear harvey envies the liberties that matti enjoys. “ feel bad for the guy — it’s like he’s never experienced HURT before, he looks at life like there’s nothing that can goddamned stop him. ”

                      “they do recommend breakfast every day but,” payton shrugged. she was joking of course, again, the tease in her tone as obvious as her ( silly? ) statement. his vague response was deserved of her vague, though wide open question. making mental note of his effort to emphasize her peculiar choice of words, payton keep up with the theme anyway, “ i would say overwhelmed is the current weather, but in the best way. i meet a new crew member every day, or at least it feels like it. but i’ve been trying to explore a little too. i wanna get to know new york city while we’re here, when i’m not getting to know harper of course!” a chuckle, an attempt to draw the focus away from her overshare, part of her got the feeling harvey didn’t care for the small talk or the advance of it. but somewhere in payton’s personal, mostly mental, handbook on acting, there was a page dedicated to the attempt to connect with one’s screen partner to bring ease to the performance and well because every person was an asset, be it to industry or simply just the rollercoaster that is life. of course this practice was only a suggestion considering acting with no connection is also an appreciated challenge in itself. but payton always tried anyway, reciprocated or not, it was just who she was. 

( flip, flip ) two switches and the pair were now standing in an illuminated, exhaustingly on trend new york city coffee shop, well a fake one. “ what’s the first thing you notice when you walk into a coffee shop, ” payton asks out loud but prepared with her own answer before harvey could even try and give one, “ the smell of coffee! that’s the only thing this set is missing. ” she looks around and without missing a beat, as if she said nothing at all, payton pulls out her script and sets it down on the counter. “ so mannerisms, hm…” she starts, flipping to the highlighted pages before looking up at harvey. “ is there a specific part you want to work through or ya know we could even use this set to our advantage and just –– ” payton paused before throwing out a suggestion without hearing him out first, her eagerness overtook her sometimes and she never wanted to overstep someone-else’s creative process. “ –– this might not be your style at all but we could ya know…work a shift? it’s hard to feel instantly comfortable as someone else “so to speak” especially in such an interactive setting & i dunno, there’s nothing more mundane and regular than a day at the old j-o-b.” shaking her head right to left as she spoke each of the three last letters one by one, her humor again chiming in to void any type of demand to her suggestion. payton had already spent hours of her own time running around her kitchen as if it was a coffee shop and harper was the only employee; all in attempt to understand the girl outside of the provided lines, but not everyone works in the same way and payton knew that. “ kinda role-play a typical day at work i guess…if that’s even something that would be worthwhile to you. we could honestly just jump right into the lines too, hop behind the counter and work out the blocking for the scene…” payton looked to harvey, curious to what his preferred way of practice may be.

                       “ OVERWHELMED … YEAH, THAT SOUNDS ABOUT right, ” harvey nods with a knowing smile — even after having practically grown up on a film set, it still makes him feel the OPPOSITE of at ease. it’s the dozens of moving parts, the fact that a studio company like netflix is taking the bold chance in their tight filming schedule that everything has to be PERFECT: or at least, that’s what it feels like. the strathmore name corrals even more expectation to NAIL each scene on the first take — he silently thanks the powers above that he isn’t often in scenes with gabe or kaia, who would be sure to distract him, or make him laugh every chance they got. not that he doesn’t like payton — she’s kind, and supportive: everything he needs in a good scene partner, and of course, it helps that she’s dedicated to her craft, too. “ new york is definitely cool — wish i got out more to check out the hidden gems. there’s this modern egyptian street food place a few blocks from nyu, i’ll take you some time we’ve got a break, ” he promises — he supposes he should take his maanger’s advice to heart and TRY to make friends, to find something more that anchors him to the project.

THEY’VE never agreed on this point in particular, and it doesn’t seem to frankie like tonight will be an exception. it’s clear that they have… very different perspectives on the issue, she tries to remind herself. he grew up under the watchful eyes of a camera lens that never turned off, and she watched his family at awards shows from her couch in brooklyn with a bowl of popcorn. ❝ well, if i ever manage to figure it out, you’ll be the first one i call, ❞ the girl echoes his words. though it sounds joking, she genuinely means it: she knows fame makes him miserable and what she wants is for him to be happy, no matter where he ends up. it feels like there’s something unspoken that passes through the air between them; she simply shuts her mouth ( for once ) and relishes in that moment. 

she smiles when he re-enters the room. ❝ i highly doubt that, ❞ she replies, taking a small sip of the water he’s just handed her. ❝ this thing is, like, three and a half sizes too big for me. ❞ she’s about to start another sentence, protesting his words further, but she stops: she likes the way he looks at her in it. she smiles softly — suddenly the old sweater feels like a tailor-made red carpet dress. ❝ yeah, i’m freezing, ❞ she finally answers, her cheeks still flushed from his smile. she watches him work through his routine: fussing around the room, changing his shirt, covering her in the blanket. it makes her feel warm in a way she doesn’t quite want to think about. ❝ c’mere and lie down with me, ❞ she says, almost not realizing she’s said the words out loud until they’ve spilled out of her mouth. she’ll think about the consequences later, if there are any.

                   THEIR CONFLICTING OPINIONS SIMULTANEOUSLY DRAW him closer to her, the magnetic attraction of someone who finally counters him with intelligent answers he just might believe, but also because she responds with words of someone who LISTENS. like deep down, under eye rolls and sighs and pointed fingers, she actually cares. but harvey won’t dwell on that point now — even if they’ve made a habit out of staying over at each others’ places, their arrangement was born out of desire for physical intimacy, and he won’t let his perennial LONELINESS ruin something good. perhaps there’s some additional thrill that stems from the sneaking around, the shushing, the WHISPERS. it makes him feel alive, like he’s doing something for himself for once, like he’s able to be childish when the typical teenage rebellion was never an option for him. 

     JUDE CAN ONLY bite the inside of his cheek to suppress the literal laugh that’s threatening to exit his throat— it’s genuinely comical, the level of distaste these two individuals have for each other. it’s just that jude can’t wrap his head around letting yourself be seen the way harvey is. it’s like the man’s a walking magnet for paparazzi, and he does himself no justice for being sloppy and it’s frustrating, to be quite honest. granted, it’s easy for jude to be critical when he’s as absurdly orderly and disciplined as he is. so, he sips at his coffee ( it’s not that good but crafty coffee typically isn’t great but it sure does get the job done ) and nods slowly. and in all honesty, perhaps there’s a tiny part of jude that enjoys the harsh banter he shares with harvey, but that’s a whole different story to unpack. at harvey’s question, jude perks up a bit. he turns to him, brows raised, and cocks his head to the side. “i have plenty of fun, harvey. you ever think maybe i’m just capable of keeping it together?” he sighs and glances around the room. “i just don’t like airing out my dirty laundry, that’s all.” he pauses and lifts his cup. “i appreciate your concern, i do. i think i’ve got it all down at this point, however.”

the village  -  episode 1x03: the manhattan candidates sneak peek !

     relationship  forever  tainted  by  the  past  ,  honor  knows  that  even  if  they  have  moved  on  ,  the  public  hasn’t  ,  the  headlines  will  forever  paint  them  as  old  -  flames  ,  the  scene  that  unfolds  perhaps  enough  to  spark  rumors  ———  but  a  need  for  normalcy  seems  to  overpower  honor’s  fear  of  the  media  ,  prefers  basking  in  the  sun  to  worrying  about  tomorrow  .  .  .  and  what  are  publicists  for  ,  anyway  ??

feels  the  tension  between  them  but  doesn’t  dare  comment  on  it  ,  her  own  breath  hitched  since  the  moment  he  arrived  .  feels  like  a  teenager  again  ,  anxious  and  hopeful  ,  overcome  with  a  sense  of  bitter  triumph  :  this  is  all  she  ever  wanted  back  when  they  were  together  ———  to  spend  their  days  laying  on  the  grass  side  by  side  ,  unbothered  and  peaceful  .  ‘  the  cap  will  do  ,  i  guess  .  and  ,  you  know  —  ‘  a  tilt  of  her  head  ,  words  trailing  off  as  if  in  thought  .  ‘  if  they  ever  need  to  recast  penn  badgley  on  you  ,  i  think  you  totally  got  the  stalker  look  down  with  this  one  .  ‘  she’ll  tease  ,  desperate  to  lighten  the  atmosphere  .  gaze  will  travel  to  lane  ,  lips  curling  into  a  smile  .  ‘  hm  ,  a  little  over  a  year  ??  i  got  him  when  i  moved  to  a  bigger  apartment  .  .  .  the  last  one  was  too  cramped  ,  but  this  one  is  somehow  too  big  for  just  me  .  felt  like  the  perfect  excuse  to  finally  get  one  .  ‘

                   SHE FEELS SIMULTANEOUSLY LIKE HIS best friend and a stranger — little things that they used to know about each other still marked in the chapter of his history where they explored life TOGETHER. they were young, excited, naive above all, perhaps confusing on-screen chemistry with that of real life. but they would never really know, the distance and work driving a wedge between them before they could really tell if it was LOVE or just emotional compatibility that leaked off the set. part of him feels sad that they never got to explore their relationship to new heights, but part of him is glad, too: he honestly doesn’t know if they would have LASTED if bigger challenges presented themselves along the way. instead, he said goodbye with a smile, he supported her when she started dating his close friend, he beamed from afar as her career took off. they were always FRIENDS, after all — that much never changed.