fangirling out

which definitely got all the other demons in the room thinking: "and how's that working out for you Lord Desperate To Get Fucked By Your Servant"

Only to get shocked when Shang Qinghua advises Junshang to "be pathetic"

Like imagine watching your colleague fail to land a date with his assistant for forever only for the assistant to reveal he's being trying to land a date with your colleague this whole time

Like first of all, the beautiful feeling of someone else ALSO being like ‘okay well maybe the fucking chandelier has been sabotaged to fall at the exact right time, has anyone planned for that??’ because MBJ’s been thinking it but one must also consider the optics of being a demon going around just attacking light sources, especially since he’s already destroyed three of them today, and being seen as afraid in general is Not a Great Look for survival and maintaining power.

This came about through a combination of several factors. On the demon end, Shang Qinghua was way less circumspect about his identity whenever he was in the demon realms, so Mobei Jun was just flat-out telling his people that the Head Disciple and later Peak Lord of An Ding was his guy, and putting Shang Qinghua in charge of other servants or jobs as he saw fit, so his court faction were like alright cool guess that gives us a leg up in some departments, let's start coordinating with An Ding Peak?

Then on the other end of it, An Ding Peak is like ground zero for Cang Qiong's malcontents anyway, it is simultaneously the most vital peak and the most looked down upon, so reaching out to one of Cang Qiong's enemies to forge an alliance and hold it at the ready just in case they decide they want to overthrow the other peaks and change the hierarchies of the sect forever actually just feels cathartic. Like they probably won't, but knowing that they could is soothing. Shang Qinghua's closest disciples started figuring out the secret during his Head Disciple tenure, because what do you mean Shixiong survived an encounter with one of the most powerful ice demons alive and now suddenly sometimes his house is winter-cold and he can access a whole bunch of things from the northern climes of the demon realms?

The first few disciples stumble upon and then try to have semi-coded conversations with Shang Qinghua about it, which leads them to the conclusion that their shixiong is colluding with demons but doesn't have any plans to betray An Ding and mostly seems to dislike Huan Hua Palace (respectable) and is maaaybe pissed off enough at Bai Zhan to throw a demon at them one day (a sentiment shared by 99.9% of An Ding disciples) (they brought it up and most of it flew over Shang Qinghua's head but when someone was like "ok but are we taking action against the rest of the sect?" he was sardonically like "not unless Liu Qingge breaks another gate this month").

So when Shang Qinghua becomes Peak Lord and some of the more subtle servants of Mobei Jun show up, a lot of the senior disciples are like yup it's go time. They start conspiring to oust the less open-minded dregs of the past peak lord's rule, consolidate Cang Qiong's power overall and An Ding's influence specifically, help tit-for-tat the northern demon lords and specifically Mobei Jun's faction and disputes with his rivals, remove anyone who stumbles upon the plot and can't be trusted, establish trade deals and information brokers and etc.

All the while Shang Qinghua and Mobei Jun are still just like, it's only us two who have an arrangement going on here.

Cue head disciple of An Ding SY, who spends most time roasting Airplane and covering for him when he's with MBJ.

MBJ sees SY who knows about him and ends up misunderstanding that SQH has adopting this child...I shall also adopt this child.

(Also because SY knows all about demonic culture when MBJ tries teaching him MBJ assumes SQH knows all about it)

SY being on a different peak but still trying got help LBH, he sneaks supplies into the woodshed for him, new Manuel, medicine, blankets extra food ect (he keeps raiding the An Ding store rooms and passing everything on to Binghe) even books about the abyss and demonic cultivation.

LBH has no idea where stuff is coming from he occasionally has notes and saves them all, he tries to find them but SY is good at covering tracks. He has got scent and sense of Qi but has never properly met him.

Abyss happens and when LBH shows up to take over North sees SY(whose there with airplane) recognizes QI/scent gets understanding from court and MBJ that SQH has adopted SY, and SQH is engaged to MBJ.

LBH instantly goes from takeover to marriage alliance. I want a marriage alliance with the North.

Because the people who determine that the character is predominantly a villain will be frustrated with the parts of the story that outline their sympathetic moments, the people who determine that the character is predominantly a victim will be aghast at the consequences of their villainy, and the author will get dragged by both unhappy camps.

and since he never got an explanation for any of that, even before he got thrown off a cliff into hell he had to choose between rejecting one of three positive personal relationships he'd experienced in his entire life (and the only one where he was getting as much support as he needed) or structuring his understanding of personal interaction so that history was actually cool and okay somehow, and like

and 3) going through not only a lot of character development but having two canonical character development paths that both happen effectively off-page

very fun.

appreciating in the AO3 also that basically nobody is leaning into the reading that our boy actually made Binghe gay by being nice to him because firstly that's absurd and secondly (more relevantly considering he's fictional even within the work of fiction) pretty damn sure that's one of the danmei tropes getting affectionately lampooned.

so instead, the 2 main interpretations i've seen tend to be that original timeline Binghe with his hundreds of wives was either

1) gay but in super denial or, much more fun

2) demi romantic/sexual and gay, but he had 0 positive relationships with men ever in his life, canonically, so he literally had no way to know this about himself.

i don't know why but i find the second option absolutely hysterical.

probably because it fits the text so neatly and is ironic and kind of tragic in framework, but also it just really goes back and underlines how much 'stallion novel protagonist with massive harem' is not a normal expression of sexuality, that is not something most actual straight dudes would really want even if they could afford it, there is something fundamentally deranged about collecting 600+ wives even if you do need to have ludicrous amounts of sex to power your plot device.

so you get an ace-spectrum guy with a high libido and a Fuck Sword in the Fuck Dimension and he's compulsively seducing beautiful women constantly and has never been attracted to anyone in his life ever, but has no basis for comparison. so he thinks this is just normal.

god, I'm thinking again about how shen jiu's history with men fucked him up so badly he would literally leave the mountain to go sleep surrounded by women so he could feel safe

the protagonist whose blackening arc was the centerpiece of an explicit tragedy, who was supposed to die alone, without ever having had a love interest at all; for whom hating shen qingqiu displaced everything he might have found to live for.

the man who was supposed to find out what happened to his parents, what happened to shen jiu; was supposed to choke on the irony, on the inevitability of the cycle of abuse and the way his revenge quest had never really been anything but letting shen qingqiu keep controlling him, just as shen qingqiu before him had let himself be ruined by his own abusers.

It doesn't take long for him to find Luo Binghe in the Abyss some time later. He leaves a trail of carnage... And he's speedrunning!! Ignore the wife and solo plots, just mow down monsters and charge forward! He's awesome!

Shen Yuan tries to avoid the red flags that the stallion protagonist isn't, well, forming a harem. Maybe he would form later, when he had more power!! He's not exactly sure in which narrative arc are.

However, his days of watching Luo Binghe through the shadows are soon over. Luo Binghe catches him!! He has obviously noticed Shen Yuan following him. What does he want? Is he looking for him to kill him?

Shen Yuan ducks out a bit, but ultimately decides to impart his honed Abyss 101 knowledge from months of Wiki editing. He disguises himself as a demon who has been searching for a way out of the Abyss, and he knows that he can only do so with Xin Mo, but he knows he doesn't have enough power to wield it. So, he will tell Luo Binghe where the portal-opening sword is, if he allows him to travel by his side and accompany him when he leaves!!

... It's very easy to become travel companions after that.

Luo Binghe is suspicious (of course he would be!! After all, who wouldn't be?!) but he's nice when he's not on his monster-killing rampage. Shen Yuan kills minor monsters, but in reality, he might be getting into more trouble than he should... spiritual flora, ancient artifacts! Luo Binghe should collect them and become more stronger with them! Shen Yuan rambles a lot: he talks about flora, beasts, monsters, demonic history, he throws out fact after fact of PIDW backstories that never got fleshed out from the old demonic civilizations, banished kingdoms, people literally turned into black jade statues...

Luo Binghe seems to find it irritating that he's talking at first, but actually... It's like he can't stop looking at him afterward. Shen Yuan guesses that he must be considering getting rid of him, sometimes: Luo Binghe looks at him with an expression of dismay and doubt. It's like he's searching for something in him. Like he sees something familiar, but Shen Yuan finds it ridiculous. Bah!! As if there's something familiar about him to some random NPC in the world!

One day, after several weeks of traveling, Luo Binghe asks him: "Little Demon. Do you have a name?" And it's not like Shen Yuan has introduced himself, but he considers saying "Shen Yuan" to him not to be wrong.

After that, Luo Binghe... gets worse? He also becomes a little more talkative, which is good, they can have conversations. Shen Yuan enjoys learning little things about his favorite character: how he likes tea, what he misses most is not water or clean clothes but being able to cook with spices, his favorite food, his mother's favorite recipe, about his life on Qing Jing Peak...

That's when everything goes to hell.

A kind Shen Qingqiu? What the fuck? Luo Binghe speaks about his Shizun with more passion than he has spoken about Ning Yingying or any other person or thing. That he had had this horrible qi deviation, but right after, he had been so kind, giving him medicine, a new cultivation manual, fair training, even letting him live in the bamboo house! For the past few years, Shen Qingqiu had practically spoiled him: the best missions, all the running of the Peak, he was basically the head disciple in all but name.

That Luo Binghe had fallen in love with him. Deeply, devastatingly. And Shen Qingqiu had pushed him into the Abyss when his heritage was revealed. However, Luo Binghe will not doubt! He will leave the Abyss, return to his Shizun, and show him that his heritage does not determine who he is. He will become a righteous cultivator and will have his respect to reach his heart.

OOC! So OOC! What the fuck!? Where was the scum villain!? Why is Luo Binghe gay now!? What weird fanfic did he end up in!? Actually, Shen Yuan supposes, well. That means at least he wouldn't destroy Cang Qiong and all that. Wow. Dramatic but calm ending. A better world!! And worse for him, being a demon. Maybe Could he find a way to disguise himself as a human? He believes he has already won Luo Binghe's friendship and sympathy. Maybe he'll even help him to disguise.

Revelations are a rare thing, but Shen Yuan guesses, it's okay. They continue their travel, collecting flowers along the way (for real, not meimeis) who improve the cultivation, and occasionally fight for their lives. Shen Yuan has defended himself very well with his claws so far, but Luo Binghe teaches him how to use a sword, and it's nice to have one.

Shen Yuan has drawn a map, more or less: it is the path that must be taken to reach Xin Mo. He knows that some of those places will be more difficult than others; he explains to Binghe many times that collecting things to strengthen him is necessary: it's a waste of time for him to meet with his Shizun now, but he'll be grateful! He'll need to get strong fast!

Shen Yuan shamelessly takes advantage of all his knowledge of the plot: he teaches Luo Binghe everything he knows, all the weaknesses of the beasts, all the strengths of certain flowers or roots. However, the more Shen Yuan teaches him over the weeks of their travel together, the more Luo Binghe seems... weirder. If he looked at him too much before, now it's incredibly worse. Sometimes he even asks extremely specific questions and seems frustrated when Shen Yuan doesn't answer exactly as he expects. Once, even, when they are crossing some paths surrounded by magma and the heat is suffocating, Binghe improvises a folded fan of leaves for him, and he seems clearly aggrieved when Shen Yuan's first instinct is to fan Binghe!

Luo Binghe is a frustrating little creature who seems to be testing him. Constantly. Shen Yuan assumes it's normal, but still!! He thought he had the protagonist's confidence!! Something seems to sparkle in his eyes when Shen Yuan stops halfway to explore a forest of giant mushrooms and talks at length about the properties and, above all, about the mole-squirrels who get high off their asses biting mushrooms, and he even seems fucking frustrated when he offers some weird herbal blend similar to a bitter tea and Shen Yuan accepts it just out of politeness because it tastes awful. It's like they're running in circles!!

Still, they continue on their way.

There is still a large stretch of the map to go, which Shen Yuan translates into a few more months of travel, when they are cornered by some beasts. They're horrible, disgusting spider-beetles the size of a fucking elephant; it's an unfair fight, seven against two, and even with their swords the bugs are fast, their legs sharp, and Shen Yuan is too exhausted after hours of only being able to defeat two of them.

Luo Binghe fights majestically, but even so, there is one thing Luo Binghe cannot fight: being outnumbered. And when Shen Yuan sees the giant insect's attack at Binghe, his only instinct is to get in the way.

The insect's leg pierces through him. It doesn't quite touch Binghe, but Shen Yuan isn't even aware of the pain from the way his nerves have been ripped apart. He's stunned, disoriented, and only a moment later Luo Binghe enters that desperate berserk mode that the protagonist only got once every two hundred chapters. The horrible insects fall, and Shen Yuan doesn't even know why he's still alive.

He supposes that dying while Binghe is fighting is a bit anticlimactic. He's in a pool of his own blood and he's sure that not even the blood parasites will be able to regenerate any of it. He's dying, he knows it, and from the way Binghe drops to his knees beside him after defeating the insects and holds him, Binghe knows it too.

"It's okay," Shen Yuan manages to speak, weakly patting Binghe's face, "follow the map, leave the Abyss and meet your Shizun. I bet you'll scare him to death, but hey. You're a great boy. A very good one. Show him there's no one better than you for him."

Luo Binghe holds him. Shen Yuan is aware that there were blood parasites in his food months ago, but oh well. Nothing can be done now. It's too much.

Actually, he wants to say something else, something other than a pathetic goodbye talking about how the ex-stallion protagonist should go after his Shizun's bone, but while he recognizes that he is dying (he already died once, damn it, he recognizes death) a blue screen flashes in his head.

[ Recalculating data... Correcting recipient... Downloading files... Importing... ]

[ Bugs fixed! ]

[ Returning the Host to his main user... ]

At the exact moment Shen Yuan dies, Shen Qingqiu wakes up in Qian Cao with a gasp, suddenly touching his chest where a second ago he had felt a hole that pierced him from side to side. His head hurts, his muscles burn, and someone definitely screams in surprise because a bunch of disciples call out to Mu Qingfang and, damn, it's fucking chaos.

He's apparently been in a coma for the past eighteen long months since the Immortal Alliance Conference. A qi deviation? No one knew. It was as if he were just asleep, but nothing woke him. His vital signs were normal, low, but active. Except for Without-a-cure, there was nothing else in his spiritual veins, and Without-a-cure could not cause his current state.

Now, with a huge headache, Shen Qingqiu remembers. He remembers not only the last year and a half with Binghe in the Abyss, but his last years as Shen Qingqiu. And he remembers that, just after of pushing into the Abyss, the fucking System COLLAPSED! Damn SHITTY AI! And Shen Qingqiu believed that he was really going to deport him back to his body even if he pushed Binghe into the Abyss! ... But he hadn't. Just to a random demon's body until the system repaired itself.

The story he tells to Mu Qingfang about the qi deviation after Binghe was swallowed by the Abyss is as good as any. So, Mu Qingfang finally lets him rest until he recovers, and Shen Qingqiu accepts it.

During the Abyss, he had been... Free, somehow. He had no memory of being Shen Qingqiu, and he hadn't had to pretend to be anyone else. It had been the greatest freedom he had had since he arrived. Fuck, he has a lot to think about. How, above all, what the hell he's going to do now that, damn it, he knows Luo Binghe has somehow fallen in love with him. Fuck.

A visitor to the peak says something incredibly rude during the meeting, and though Liu Qingge prepares to draw his sword, Shen Qingqiu stops him.

And then proceeds to read the visitor to absolute filth.

Happy birthday to Shen Qingqiu and his most avid hater!!!

This man spent like the entirety of his twenties and early thirties as a graceful and powerful peak lord in a fantasy novel. That does some weird shit to you I'm sure.

Imagine he gets shot back into his old life, and after freaking out then compartmentalizing everything, he starts incorporating things from his life as Shen Qingqiu into his life now.

I think the funniest way to conceptualize this is through the POV of, like, his sister.

- Shen-mei just got back from college to visit her brother, who got out of a hospital stay a week ago. Last time she saw him, he mostly grumbled about a shitty web novel and binged some anime with her and ate takeout.

- when she gets there, the house is, like, unsettlingly clean.

-When her brother appears, he has hair going to the middle of his fucking back. When asked about it, he just shrugs and says he got extensions. Extensions that look extremely fucking expensive

- It's summer. It's the middle of fucking summer and this man is wearing a collared shirt with a large-sleeved sweater over it, and loose pants. She has not seen him in anything more formal than jeans since her graduation

- he offers tea. She's only ever seen him microwave tea, but before she can decline he whips out a whole traditional tea ceremony tea set. The tea is really fucking good, and he has matching snacks???

- there's new paintings on the wall, when she asks where he got them, he sheepishly admits he painted them. They're incredibly beautiful traditional paintings. She wouldn't believe him if it weren't for... Everything else.

- A curly haired man comes in and introduces himself as A-yuans boyfriend

- A-YUAN HAS A BOYFRIEND??? WHOS A 10???

- AND NAMED LUO BINGHE???

If you've ever wondered how Shen Yuan and Shang Qinghua might've experienced PIDW (whether writing, reading, living it.. etc) just watch Supernatural.

I was watching some Supernatural episodes and I just realized this is our real life PIDW, we have like 15 seasons?? (Literally nobody else I know have even watched or finished the series except for me. My family & friends thinks I'm delusional for watching this very long trainwreck)

Plot? Is so long and rich that I genuinely discover new things every time I decide to rewatch ANY of the seasons... Everytime I discover I forgot some pretty major events. but sometimes it's also lowkey bad writing and we have BIG plot holes that nobody addresses even after the show ends.

World building? Magnificent. If not for the new cool creatures (new wives) added left and right never to be mentioned again.

The main wives_ ahem, creatures..(Castiel, ALL the angels, Lucifer, Gabriel, "the prophet"... you see what I mean..?) were really cool and powerful at first until they got lost somewhere in the plot.

As for Characters? Don't get me wrong I love my boys, but you have to admit Sam and Dean were ridiculously overpowered. They killed every single being under the sun (HOW did the universe in Supernatural not collapse??? You cannot convince me all that messing around did NOT cause some catastrophic power imbalance in creation Itself!!) including themselves like an unreasonable amount of times and just came back to life completely fine after and kept walking.