Take notes boys! You should really learn these rules!!!
This đ
styofa doing anything
đŞź

pixel skylines

Product Placement

if i look back, i am lost
tumblr dot com
i don't do bad sauce passes

#extradirty
Stranger Things

Janaina Medeiros
Cosimo Galluzzi
wallacepolsom
dirt enthusiast
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

ellievsbear
Aqua Utopiaď˝ćľˇăŽĺşă§č¨ćśăç´Ąă
sheepfilms

Kaledo Art
will byers stan first human second
seen from TĂźrkiye

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@hawksnest
Take notes boys! You should really learn these rules!!!
This đ

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Dominion Leather 2020 Giveaway: The World is More Awesome with More Leather Bondage Gear Giveaway!
What a name this giveaway is⌠Dominion Leather 2020 Giveaway: The World is More Awesome with More Leather Bondage Gear Giveaway!
2020 has been what I would describe, obscene and just a nightmare on many fronts. Now it is time to be happy and celebrate something! That something is YOU! So throw off all that bad mojo, it is time to be happy!
Dominion Leather has been around for 4 years now and I have gone thru a slow time in the last 12-18 months. I decided its time to celebrate by giving a bunch of things away to celebrate life and to thank you for always being there.
I want announce here, Dominion Leather is announcing a free giveaway of a bunch of custom BDSM/Bondage gear with an estimated value of $500 OR MORE. This large set of gear will take anyone with little to no gear to being able to âlock downâ their play partner in a moment. You pick the overall type, design and color.
Bondage Collar Ankle Cuffs Wrist Cuffs Bondage Belt 2 Clasp Tether 2 Clasp Tether 4 Clasp Tether (Hogtie) Bondage Strap 50 inches Bondage Strap 50 inches Ball Gag Harness (custom design, have shown one before here on Tumblr)
All these items will be made to your custom order upon you winning. The items are able to be custom made within reason. In other words, I am happy to substitute out small things and make changes to my standard builds to be custom, within reason.
To participate in this giveaway you must do or agree to the below.
You must follow my Tumblr
You must reblog this post (not just a LIKE) AND you must add a comment to this reblog explaining why you follow me.
You must be 18 or older.
The account that reblogs and follows this post, must be the same. (doesnât matter if its a side blog, that blog/identity is the person that would/could win)
The contest starts on August 21, 2020 (Friday) - 5:00PM (Central Standard Time)
The contest ends on September 18, 2020 (Friday) - 5:00 PM (Central Standard Time)
No âgiveawayâ blogs are allowed. Â The winner must be a person, and have non-giveaway related content. Â (This is up to me to decide)
The winner will be contacted via Tumblr Private Message after the end of the contest.  They must respond back within 24 hours.  If they do not, another winner will be selected, then another 24 hoursâŚ.etcâŚ
The winner, if inside the United States will not have to pay shipping, Dominion Leather will cover it.
The winner, if outside the United States, will have to cover the shipping costs.
The winner must be willing to share information to me so I can ship the package to you, so you have to have a location that can accept it.
The winner must be willing to share information such as sizes so I can actually make the gear requested.
I will be documenting all those that follow and reblog then recheck it at the end of the contest. To determine the winner, I will use a random number generator to pick the winner. Yes its a long drawn out process, but its worth it!
NOTES:
I reserve rights to change this âAs Neededâ to have a nice safe and fun contest, so if I do add a rule, I will re-post it with the added rule.
Historically I pre-create the items, and then post some amazing photos of them. The problem there is, they may not fit the person who wins properly, so this time, I am posting pictures of what I have done in the past, and will start making them AFTER the contest ends once I get details on sizes and customization options. These photos are mainly to show quality and colors/hardware options.
To the Winner, ask questions! I am happy to explain and detail out some things. I am always happy to try to explore some new combinations as well within reason :)
Below are some images of previous contests and gear that you can possibly have made!
Reminder to all there are rules in entering this contest! Wanted to make sure you all read them and give it a bump!
Check this guy out. Amazing stuff!
True story!
Things to Say to Someone in Top Drop/Dom Drop
Iâm okay
I love you
Thank you
Itâs alright
Iâm not hurt
Iâm not hurt too badly
Youâre lovely/wonderful/kind
I enjoyed it
It was worth it
Take your time
Do you need anything?
Do you want a cuddle?
Do you want me to get dressed/take the collar off/put the crop away?
Do you want to talk about it?
Iâm here
Youâre not a bad person
Top drop/dom drop usually comes from shock, guilt or insecurity about the way you have just treated someone whose well-being you care about very much. Like sub drop, it is usually accompanied by a fall in endorphins and general energy levels. Especially for aces (who I find have a greater need to be in the right mindset/âzoneâ for play and intimacy), a âsnapâ moment where you break out of play mode can throw you emotionally, and the end of play causes a similar reassessment or double-take at what happened during the scene.
Dominants in drop require the same kind of care as subs, but a different kind of reassurance.
We are all human.
Ten Things A Dom Needs
Written by a friend of a friend whom shall remain namelessâŚ
1) Do what youâre told. Not just when you want to, not just when itâs easy, but every single time. If youâve suddenly decided youâre a free agent thatâs a conversation for negotiation in whatever format that takes in your dynamic. Until then, less talking, more obeying.
2) Keep your commitments. If me/you/we have decided on a certain protocol youâre expected to follow through. Nothing sucks the magic out of a D/s interaction faster than when BOTH people let protocols lapse and drift by the wayside. If you act like a part-time sub expect to be treated like one.
3) Try to be just a little less self-centered. The journey of submission is all about YOU, I get it. Truthfully all of us Doms get it, but there is an illusion here that needs to be maintained, and when every check-in boils down to how things are going for you and you donât bother to ask, âHow are you, are you satisfied, are you getting what you need out of me, how can I improve our shared experience?â It makes you look kinda shallow.
4) Donât compare yourself to other people. Whether youâre poly or monogamous, every time you look at another person and say: âIâll bet he likes them more than me.â Youâre essentially saying âI donât trust you, I donât trust us, I donât really believe that you want me like you say you do.â We are with you for a reason. Not receiving the desire we feel for you is deeply insulting.
5) Sacrifice. This is the deeper side of D/s, itâs where the givers separate themselves from the users. There is nothing that builds a connection faster than doing something unpleasant, when you donât want to, without being asked, without seeking praise. Itâs also very easy to take for granted, which is why you should take your time and donât give yourself to a Dom whoâs a shithead.
6) Own your tantrums. You have feelings, deep intense feelings, if you didnât you probably wouldnât be a sub. I encourage you to learn to track when the kettle is about to boil so together we can point the steam in a safe direction. When you fuck up though, and I get a face full of hot water, and you say bad things, you need to accept that in the morning youâll be held accountable for the things you said even if you didnât really mean them. This can be a tough pill to swallow, which brings us to our next point:
7) Take it with grace. Ritual and submission are amazing tools to refocus the mind and de-escalate emotions, but the collar is not a magic ring, YOU make the magic. You make it by catching yourself, by breathing into your rituals, by transforming frustration and stress into submission and present moment awareness. Each repetition is a form of emotional alchemy much in the same way that CBT thought-stopping is, (thatâs Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, not Cock and Ball Torture, you perverts).
8) Help us to evolve. Iâm talking about recognizing that every human being is a little bit lost in their own way, and the difference is that Doms donât have someone constantly fixating on how to guide us into being better versions of ourselves. Deftly guiding power figures in the directions they need to go is the forteâ of the masterful submissive, and the difference between that and manipulation is that you always have the personâs own interests at heart, even when they conflict with your own. Itâs easy to love a Dom as an archetype or a caricature, but to evaluate a whole human being, and desire to kneel for them anyways is the deepest expression of love. You and I may have different toolboxes, but we are building the same house.
9) Stick around. Fact is, most subs vanish as soon as the honeymoon wears off. This phenomenon of women who beg for submission then pull the ripcord at 3-7 months once itâs no longer all about them makes Doms cynical, hard, and reluctant to engage, and further shrinks the pool of the few decent guys who can do this stuff well. I think a lot of this stems from the idea that Dominance is something thatâs being done to you, and not with you. If you empower yourself as a co-creator of the dynamic, youâll be able to make it last longer. I think it might also stem from the fact that a good chunk of lifestylers (both Dom and sub) are emotionally broken jackasses. Sorry, Iâm a dick.
10) Cut us some âeffin slack for god sakes. Being a Dom is a LOT of work, it requires time, focus, and a wide open emotional bandwidth. It takes discipline to hold your ground when things are difficult, knowing that if you repair them with vanilla âbargainingâ tactics you will also dissolve the dynamic in the process. As a sub starts to see you as more human, it gets harder. When she/he gets to the âresistanceâ stage of the relationship, it gets harder. As real life starts to throw you curve balls, it gets harder. Aside from the emotional aspect of things, what it takes to keep things fresh and interesting is an aspect that is hard to appreciate until youâre the one in charge. The thing they donât tell you about being a Dom is that even if you have the gravitas to make a girl melt, if you donât have the creativity to constantly invent and reinvent new twists on a very old theme, youâre just a tall dark stranger standing there with your dick in your hand. Sometimes I think this is why geeks end up being better Doms than their smokey eyed, jack-booted, âtrue domâ counterparts.
The point here is that the big âDâ takes more than you think and there are going to be days, even weeks when weâre not going to be able to pull it off. I can tell you from experience that nothing means more to a Dom than when you still keep your rituals even through the thin times. Holding that space shows your strength, and you can take tremendous pride in serving with poise where your vanilla counterpart might be nagging and whining. With your devotion you pull us back like a compass, beckoning towards what is truly important, this secret journey of trust and growth that we are both on together.
Doms donât get enough credit and praise for just how much they put into us subs.
@thecomicbookj completely stepped out of his comfort zone tonight to take me and @droppinby to a munch because I have been feeling lost and emotional (many of my vanilla friends distanced thenselves from me recently due to me âcoming outâ as Poly). This was an opportunity for me/us to meet other folks in the community who are local and who we can socialize with in the flesh and blood (I love my tumblr tribe but you all are behind a screen and I need that physical presence).
This was a really big deal and Iâm super grateful that Daddy did this for me. I had a really nice time, and itâs been a long time since I can say I had âfunâ doing something social. đ
âĽď¸

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CATFISH ALERT â George âMcKayâ
This man is a catfish. He lies to women online to seduce them and fuck with their lives. He is a bad human being. He is a narcissistic sociopath with borderline personality disorder.
He usually tells people he lives in NH, or the greater Boston area. He talks a lot about how his wife died of cancer in April 2010 and how he raised his three children all on his own. He used that story to lure me in, because I am a single mom with terminal cancer. His wife is alive and well and he is still married to her. He talks about a woman he met on tumblr and dated from here who cheated on him with his best friend and then stole his identity and ruined his credit. Lies. All lies. Everything he says is a sob story to lure women into feeling sorry for him. He knows nothing about real D/s, kink, or BDSM. Or even basic human decency.
Stay away from this âmanâ and if you know anyone who is involved with him, please tell them to stay safe and contact me if they would like to talk. He is a dangerous predator. What I am saying is all firsthand knowledge and my own personal experience. When I confronted George with his lies and the fact I had found his wife, he continued to try and lie, but when I refused to back down he threatened suicide, and when I still refused to back down after the abusive threats of suicide, and I rambled off his wifeâs cell phone number, he threatened me with violence.
Please reblog freely. We need to protect each other and keep each other safe. I am putting myself at great risk posting thisâ emotionally, financially, and physicallyâ but I care about other women and want to do what I can to prevent this predator from continuing to use and ruin human lives. He has been doing this here for years.
Normally I wouldnât reblog a post such as this. I purposely stay away from Tumblr drama and am very careful about accusing or calling out people, even if there is great effort to pull me into conflicts. However, I am compelled to reblog this for the safety of the community at large and to illustrate how devious predators can be, deceiving even the most shrewd and careful among us.
I first heard about George over a year ago when a follower contacted me needing advice on how to heal after a D/s breakup. Over the course of several months, I learned this womanâs story and how George almost completely destroyed her, nearly to the point of suicide, with gaslighting, lying, manipulation, emotional and physical abuse, and misuse of trust. Together we worked toward her healing and eventually things got better. She warned me that he would come after me because I was the kind of woman he targetedâŚintelligent, sensitive, artist/writers, with gentle perceptive souls. She was not the only victim. During her healing she confirmed that George had abused many others, at the same time as her, and was desperate to make sure that he never did this again. Months passed. Healing took place and George seemed to be silent, his blogs active but not posting.
Around the first part of July, I was messaged by a blog called societal-dysfunction. I had seen some of his ask answers get reblogged and liked what I read. He had been hearting some of my work for awhile. His message was polite and complimentary of my writing. He wanted me to critique some of his work. I asked if we could move to Instagram so I could leave a voicemail, easier than texting for me. His Instagram was seekingmckay. There were nature photos and two face photos on it. He responded to my voicemail with one of his. He had a THICK Boston accent. We texted for about an hour, talking about writing in general, spiritual and medical issues, and just having a nice conversation. He was polite and well-spoken. His words were spelled correctly and intelligent. He came across as gentle, caring, interested, and high quality- definitely not a fuck-boi or a predator. He told me his wife had died ten years ago and he had raised his three children alone. He had had a bad car accident a few years ago and had to recover from severe brain damage- learn to walk and talk again. As a medical person I was very interested in his recovery and gave him ideas for further therapy. His marriage had been a very special D/s relationship and since she had died he hadnât really connected with anyone other than one or two relationships. He was very gracious and open, told me his name was George and he was looking forward to getting to know me.Â
The next morning I read through the chat again. Something wasnât right. This was too good. Too smooth and perfect. I contacted my friend about it and while waiting for her response, I picked out the flags.
1. A few paragraphs into the chat, he let me know that he would keep anything I shared with him confidential. This was odd to hear since we hadnât been discussing that issue or exchanging pics. I donât share pics online. I knew he was alluding to an intimacy that hadnât happened yet. An assumed intimacy, trying to make me feel safe. But why? Iâd known him all of ten minutes.
2. He said how nice it was to be friends with me and that we were going to be such good friends, he could tell. Red flag. Friendships happen organically. People who just meet donât say âIâm so glad we are friends.â That might be said months later, but in ten minutes? You are assuming a relationship that doesnât exist.
3. He described, in long paragraphs, how he was an empath and a healer with many gifts, so often misunderstood by others. The phrasing, the wording, the way he presented this, sent chills down my back. First, because the words were exact copies from my follower friend who IS an actual gifted healer. I was seeing her words in front of me. It was so unsettling. Secondly, people with that depth of spirituality donât blurt it out to someone new in order to impress. They reveal it further on, after the relationship is trusting enough. I had a strong sense that he was telling me something he had heard from someone else. This was a pink flag that turned dark red the more I looked at it.
4. His name. Could this be THE George?Â
5. He wrote responses to my texts using my same wording and phrasing, almost like he had been studying my writing. It wasnât the texting of a person who had just met me. This is hard to describe but it was very uncomfortable, like he didnât have his own voice and I was talking to an invisible version of myself. My spidey senses were tingling.
After showing my friend his IG picture we confirmed it was him. I blocked him on all platforms. Just a few days ago, I randomly came across @somevelvetmornin and read her George story. It was eerily similar to my friends. We put together bits and pieces of ours and others stories, some of whom may still be on Tumblr. We put together facts based on IP addresses and real life interactions with George. In addition to the original post, I know the following to be true, beyond a shadow of a doubt:
1.His wife is not dead. She is alive. He lied about being married.Â
2.He is not a Dom or D/s practitioner. He is someone who has read a lot of stuff and is interested in it but has zero experience. He lies, abuses a subs trust, and puts them in situations where their consent is violated and stretched beyond their limits, then tries to punish them when they ask for aftercare or a meta talk.
3. He uses the car accident story to explain away long absences and memory loss. This is how he covers his tracks when he disappears suddenly in the middle of a scene when a sub is in physical pain at his order. During his disappearances he is usually managing one or two other women online, despite telling each one that he is a âone sub Dom.â
4. He comes across for months as a caring, nurturing man, meeting all requirements of vetting. He earns your trust. Once the dynamic is established he slowly erodes it, then blames the sub for any fallout. He makes them question their sanity and emotional stability.
5. He mirrors people. He figures out what you want to hear, what you need to hear, and mirrors back your own interests and thoughts to create a connection. This makes a woman think she has found a soulmate. He creates comfort and trust very quickly. He purposely avoids asking for nudes or coming across as a fake Dom in the beginning. After trust is established he becomes more demanding and unethical.
6. Here is a list of known blogs/IG accounts he has operated under:
dominant intentions (all varieties of URL)
seekingmckay
societal-dysfunction
georgemckay
7. He has been abusing women on Tumblr and other platforms for probably well over two years.Â
8. When he is in the process of a âdynamicâ breaking down, he starts trying to establish another one. Somevelvetmornin confronted George the first week of July about his marriage and lies to her. Around the same time he messaged me. This pattern is confirmed with previous victims.
I could go into many more details but the post is long enough already. This man is dangerous. He is different than your average fake Dom. He is cunning, smooth, gracious, polite, and O so understanding of your needs and emotions. He burrows into your mind and uses it against you. He is evil. He has driven several women to the point of suicide, some needing inpatient therapy for healing. He needs to be exposed so he never hurts another woman again.Â
This is a whole different breed of reptile from the pointless but essentially harmless fuckboys who send unsolicited dick pics. This is a dangerous serial predator who has damaged a lot of people. Be aware!
Predator Alert! Boost!
Submissive's Rights
Kitten and I thought this was some good information that needed to be passed around. Some seem to be under some false impressions. For instance it seems that some think they can't speak up or have no right to. Yes you can, It should be done respectfully, but you can and should speak up if you are unhappy in some aspect of the relationship. Every good Dom I know wants their Sub to speak up. @daddybrad80
@babygirl-1972 @delightfulsubgirl @firefairy76 @magpie-69 @defiantslv @itsshinycollectordestinyworld @daddyandhislittleprincess11102 @dinodaddy @instructor144
@texasbikerdom49 Thank you for the tag! I agree. This is very important information. Let's let everyone be aware!
@invisible-ginger @sadlulu18 @plugyourblood @kaldisrigger @bellandherbeast @bigbadwolf-ish @thecomicbookj @dom-cbp @stilltied2thetracks @bane10101 @darksirdaddy-kittenlittle @goodgirl-maybenot @goodgirlsdoresearch @goodhotwife @mwtroutbum @madmadge67 @beardedhippieandhisredheadwife @poindexterthecute @foxyshadow @alaric1960 @viksbabygirl @mylittleismylife2 @cherrytreeblossoms @justashywhiskeygirl0287 @daddysparrow @sparrowskitten @lostinaworldallalone @lostinaly @wnyspankos @techiejedi01 @maeandmine @reflectedtruthsblog @sugar-and-spice72 @fae-kisses @flamingdumpsterkittn @sothisisgrief @sincardinality @way-wizard @averagejoe316 @triskeleaficionado
Boost!
YES!!! All my lovely submissive followers! You DESERVE this! ~Fae đâ¨đ§đťââď¸
Boost!
Some Things I've Learned
You can be a kick-ass submissive and not own a single piece of lingerie
You can kneel in slip-on Converse just as well as you can in heels
Wanting to be wanted can lead to seriously poor decision-making
You can love someone and not be a match
You deserve as much pleasure as they do
Liars and cheaters will always lie and cheat
Not everyone likes the spotlight; itâs ok to live D/s very privately
Itâs ok to make things like rope bondage and tickling hard limits; itâs ok to make anything a hard limit
Dominants can use a safeword or otherwise stop an activity
Submissives can walk away; you donât have to be âreleasedâ from shit
Moving quickly rarely leads to longevity
Your gut is never wrong; listen to it
Itâs ok to not look like a fetish model; most people donât
Sex can feel good even without orgasming
Squirting orgasms are a bit of a parlour trick, and they donât always feel as good as other types of orgasms
If the effort isnât there in the beginning it never will be
You can defer to someone and respect them as a leader even while watching Netflix and eating steak nachos with your fingers
Dominants can get sick and be huge babies and still be worthy of obedience and respect
Not every Dominant is an executive with an expense account
Submissives can make more money than their partner
You donât have to say 'Daddyâ to feel it in your bones
Toxicity isnât gender specific
You canât always educate yourself out of raised-with-it bias, but you have to try
Itâs ok to demand more for yourself; having standards solidifies self-worth
Strength is a process
Self-esteem requires active management
Submission doesnât cease to exist when youâre single
Submission doesnât just end when you hit 30 or 50 or 70
You donât have to do anything you donât want to do
You can change your mind
You can use your voice
You have to use your voice
All of this!
Because Fifty Shades and Tumblr images are not everyones reality...
Because beyond the kinky fuckery we're all actually human....
Because life happens...
Because Dominance and submission both start in the heart and the head...
Because people need to know, and sometimes be reminded.
Beyond Dominance, Part 2: Selflessness
Most of us are familiar with the D/s hierarchy of fulfillment:
The submissiveâs needs.
The Dominantâs needs.
The Dominantâs desires.
The submissiveâs desires.
It seems like a straightforward organization on paper. The submissiveâs requirements within the relationship must be met first. Only then may the Dominant focus on his or her own needs and pursue his or her wants and fantasies. Â In practice, however, nothing in a relationship is ever quite that simple. Â Any experienced Dominant will tell you that dominance is a full time job. It takes considerable and often draining work. Certainly, itâs fulfilling work, otherwise we wouldnât bother. It is, after all, what we were born to do: lead.
But leadership is not a path. We are trailblazers, creating the path as we go so that our submissives may follow. The Dominant way, like a thick, dark wood, is littered with all manor of obstacles. The quicksand of depression. The dead-fall of failure. The brambles of past trauma. But the gravest danger awaiting the unwary Dominant are the vipers of egotism. Their bite is vicious. Their venom is deadly to a D/s relationship.
I often pepper my writing with these woodland metaphors because I love to hike. Thereâs a saying among safety-conscious backpackers: never step on anything you can step over, and never step over anything you can step around. Here in the South, this warning is not only a reminder to avoid ankle-turning missteps. Any stone or log could be a hiding place for a rattlesnake. The Dominant path is much the same. If you would avoid the sting of egotism, amidst the devotion and worship or your submissive, you must take preventative measures. Selflessness is the key to always seeing that your submissiveâs needs are met, that you never up-end the hierarchy of fulfillment and spoil the careful balance of your relationship.
Only by putting each other first can you both be first. If your submissive is worth the label, you will always be their first priority. Thatâs their nature, after all. You must do the same in your own way. It is a careful balance of perspective and attitude. It requires constant reflection, self-analysis and critique, and mindfulness.
One of my teachers recommended to all his students that they take time every night, before bed, to review their day, looking for mistakes they made and ways they could improve. Journaling helps to process these findings and work out strategies for coping with them. One might ask oneself a series of questions each journaling session if writing doesnât come naturally.
What did I do today to help my submissive progress toward achieving her goals?
Did I put forth my best effort in providing my submissive with an environment conducive to her happiness?
When my submissive knelt/prostrated/etc before me, did I respond with grace and gratitude, or with egoistic pride?
Did I punish my submissive out of anger?
Did I make every effort to show my submissive how much I value her submission?
A strategy that has always kept me humble is to constantly remind myself that, while my submissive loves me and holds me in high regard, it is not me that she worships, but the ideal that I represent. I am a symbol of the strength, security, and stability that she needs. I can never earn the level of devotion she shows me. I can never be worthy of her reverence. But I can accept it as a symbol of the fulfillment of her needs and aspirations. By constantly setting my small self aside, I am able to view my dominance, my leadership in her life, as a service to her, rather than a fulfillment of my own ego.
I love his writing. I always learn something new.
Part 1
Part 2
Yes...again
Beyond Dominance, Part 1: Humility
It seemed appropriate that I kick off a series about non-stereotypical Dominant traits by talking about the polar opposite of the Domly Domâs raging ego: humility. A Dominant must have confidence, yes. Confidence in their ability to lead, to make competent decisions, to guide their submissiveâs growth. But if confidence becomes hubris, there will be disaster for both Dominant and submissive. The ego must always be tempered by humility.
A Dominant takes on enormous responsibility. Especially in the case of a 24/7, total power exchange dynamic, the Dominant member of the relationship must ensure their submissiveâs needs are met, make decisions that affect the lives of both parties, see to the submissiveâs training, lead the submissive in the pursuit of his or her goals - itâs a sizeable burden to shoulder. Because of this, all experienced submissives Iâve met have great respect for any good Dominant. Indeed, the Dominants I know are gracious to one another as a rule.
Between the adulation of admirers in their local community or on social media, and the intoxicating praise and devotion of their submissives, even good Dominants fall victim to their own sense of self-importance. Their egotism rolls over not just any opposition they may face, but, if unchecked, their friends and even their submissive. Pride in oneâs prowess, taken to extremes, can strip one of the very achievements that inspired such haughtiness.
So a Dominant should, at all times, cultivate a humble attitude. Confidence should stop short of arrogance. Leadership, of tyranny. Desire, of gluttony. The attitude of servant leadership is especially helpful in reigning in oneâs ego while nurturing a Dominantâs required skill set. A servant leader leads without desire for personal gain, without thirst for power over others. A servant leader teaches, guides, and inspires their subordinates, always leading by example, and with integrity. This way, a good Dominant always places their submissive first. The submissiveâs needs are the Dominantâs needs. The submissiveâs goals are also the Dominantâs. The Dominant seeks only to see their submissive succeed, caring nothing for praise and reward. A happy, thriving, successful submissive is the Dominantâs reward. No other prize is required, nor is it desired.
It can be helpful for a Dominant to keep in mind the classic D/s witticism: A Dominant without a submissive is just a lonely misanthrope barking orders at their cat. D/s does not exist in an individual. We call them ârelationship dynamicsâ because theyâre all about how we construct and run our relationships. Without a submissive, even the best Dominant has no outlet for their relationship skills, no means of practicing their craft. Itâs only when Dominant and submissive enter into the endeavor together that the Dominant can shine. I would even argue that greatness in a Dominant is a direct response to greatness in a submissive.
In the end, this is about a relationship. We Dominants can indeed take pride in our hard work, our talent and ingenuity, and the achievements of our submissives. But we must always work to keep that pride in check. Otherwise, rather than hearing the roar of a lion when we speak, our listeners are likely to hear the grating howl of a scavenging jackal.
Well written. Thanks.
Part 2
Beyond Dominance, Part 2: Selflessness somtamgirl: â acruelgentleman: â Most of us are familiar with the D/s hierarchy of fulfillment: ⢠The
A good man, and a fine writer. I miss him.
Yes...

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I truly canât stand this kind of bullshit anymore. This has nothing to do with being a good or bad dom. Which is just a silly self proclaimed title anyway. You are either a strong man who takes care of what youâve earned a right to call your own or youâre not. You either have integrity or you donât. You either have the ability to love and connect or you donât. This is real life with real people who have real feelings.
Fucking BOOM!
Amen âââââ
AgreedâŹď¸
Because it needs to be said...
The Invisible String
Submission is often likened to a leash, the submissive tethered to the will of the Dominant. I frequently use the analogy myself, and often itâs very effective. However, lately my mind has been wandering to a different picture of submission. When I close my eyes I see submission, not as a lash around my neck, but as a string. A tiny, delicate string wrapped around both Dominant and submissive. Either side capable of breaking the string by pulling too hard, each choosing to allow itâs presence, not just once, but constantly. Â A leash would need to be willfully removed, and it easily tugs the wearer about, but it takes more mindfulness to follow a stringâs gentle insistence.
I imagine that string around my wrist when I reach to touch myself and relieve the desire building between my legs. It reminds me of what pulls against the other end as it tugs against me. Itâs all too easy to break. Pull just a bit too hard and the string snaps. If I disobey, or he tugs too tight, the string breaks. Too much slack on the other side and I fail to feel itâs pull as I move. Easily repaired, but tugged a bit tighter each time the torn strands are knotted together, the slack lessened with each snag.
Thereâs beauty and comfort in that mental string. In knowing itâs not really the rules that bind me to him, but our desire to be bound that connects us. Â
Strung together âŚ.
Love this. đ
For @devilishkittten
I miss @pleasurewhore. She was both sharp and kind.
Very good analogy...
Risk
There is risk is what we do, the choices we make.
Letâs face it, regardless of the label we choose for ourselves, we are inviting risk at the hands of another - whether physical or emotional.
Personally, I find emotional risk far more dangerous.
Physical risk is âeasy.â I play hard. Â I like impact play and the tops I play with call me a badass. I take it as a compliment. Â Last time I bottomed the bruises lasted for more than a month. Â Yep, I can take a beating.
But the beating I can take physically does nothing to prepare my tender heart and psyche for the warfare being waged upon it. Â I just canât take the emotional pummeling.
I would rather be beaten with a firehose than to kneel for someone who scorns me.
I would rather be whipped bloody than to hear empty words or lies.
Thrash my backside before deceiving me. Â
For the love of God, wallop my ass with whatever implement you can find before you mock me to others.
Do not accept my submission, my service, if you have no intention of honoring it.
I am a submissive, not a play toy for your amusement.
There is risk in what we do. Â
With all great reward comes great risk, but sometimes there isnât any justification for the pain.
Unfortunately, the risk is too great and there is no mitigating the loss. Â
Some wounds just donât mend.
âDo not accept my submission, my service, if you have no intention of honoring itâ.
I Picture This...
I picture this... We kiss...tender kisses, passionate kisses, wet kisses. I slide my hand down your back and cup your ass pulling you up against me. You move to my neck and kiss me there, then holding on to my upper arms move to my nipples first one and then the other sucking on them gently as I stroke your hair.
I grab a handful of hair and gently tug you down and you move toward my throbbing cock, raking your lips across my stomach as you go. I can feel your breath on it, but you don't immediately put me in your mouth. Instead you suck and lick on my balls. I cup your cheek in my hand and run my fingers into your hair pulling you up toward the head.
You put me in your mouth, gently tugging on my balls as you move your mouth over my shaft starting gently and then taking as much as you can. I have one hand on your cheek and the other on the back of your head firmly, but at the same time gently so I can feel all your movements.
When I cum you look up at me making sure we have eye contact. You want to make sure that I see you and that you see the expression when you satisfy me. You open your mouth just enough so the cum runs back down the shaft and across your lips while I shoot my load then you just as quickly lick it back up.
When you finish I pull you back up to my lips and kiss you again. I move to your neck and tug on your nipples. You feel my hot breath on your stomach and the fingertips of one hand graze your flower as I move my mouth back up to your nipples where I linger long enough to suck and nibble.
I start moving down again running my tounge across the skin of your stomach. Your back arches as I continue my decent to your womanhood. I give you a gentle, barely there lick and hear you inhale deeply. You pull your legs up and I rub the insides of your thighs with my lips, wrapping my arms around your legs and tugging on your nipples at the same time.
I begin to lick you, pulling your body into my face. You grab me by the hair and guide me the way you want me. I slide two fingers into you while I work your clit with my tounge. You pull my hair harder and your back arches as you explode in orgasm.
I roll over beside you and you lay your head on my chest. We lay there for a moment. I stroke your back and your shoulder. You slide your hand down to my cock and say "You're not done." I whisper back, "Of course not, I haven't fucked you yet."
I roll you over and you spread your legs, inviting me in. I place myself between your legs and look at you as I slide my cock inside you a little at a time, in and out a little deeper each stroke until your body fully engulfs my manhood. You moan as I enter you and your head rolls back. You put yor hands on my sides so you can feel me riding you. I start ever so slowly, savoring each stroke and entering you fully.
The strokes become harder and you grip me tigheter. I grab your hands and pin them above your head. Your back begins to arch and your body tenses. I feel you shudder under me and you let out a loud moan and collapse.
I raise up and you come up to meet me. I laid back and you mount my body, gliding my cock inside you. I arch my pelvis to meet you as you ride me.
I roll you off of me and change position, sitting down on the edge of the bed and you straddled my lap in reverse sliding me inside you again. I love the fact that I can be inside you and still be able to touch the whole front of your body with my hands, play with your nipples or your clit while we're fucking.
You shift positions to sitting on me facing, wrapping your legs around me. We grind against each other until we exploded in simultaneous orgasm. We lay back onto the bed, both exhausted. I'm on my back and you lay your head on my chest again. You say "I could get used to this."
We lay entwined a little while, enjoying each others skin, the smell of passion filling the room. We ease out of bed and go shower together washing each others bodies....sin deireadh an scĂŠil
âBecause brain chemistry matters!
My two cents:The brain is in a fragile, pliable state when being inundated with neurotransmitters. Great for sex in general. Really great for sub training. Really, REALLY great for subspace.
Subspace is the ideal destination, but it IS a fragile brain state. This is why aftercare is so necessary. The brain will try and return to its ânormalâ state. But it often over compensates with wild swings of chemicals to get the job done. (Read here subdrop)
Aftercare helps the brain return to its ânormalâ with a lot less wild swings. Learn your subâs brain, not just their mind and body. Provide the aftercare that best returns the brain to ânormal.â Be prepared with the obvious stuff like re-hydration (water and electrolytes), simple to digest foods to restore glucose, and basic body soothers (warmth, returning full blood flow to restrained joints, soothing marks to skin, etc).
Always be aware of that brain fragility because life happens. If âlifeâ interrupts subspace your gut should be screaming âDANGER WILL ROBINSON. DANGER.â The same goes for aftercare being interrupted.
Leaving a sub in a fragile brain state is dangerous. To the brain, it mimics trauma, abandonment, and threat. Worse, the body is usually in a spent state, so the brain canât really respond to these. Now throw in the dependent, submissive mindset and VIOLA! you have a serious problem.â For a great post on aftercare, click https://submissive-seeking.tumblr.com/post/172631520225/can-you-give-examples-of-aftercare
This is why Friday night left me curled up in a ball. Tears streaming. You know how much I despise it when my eyes leak.
You timed your quick âdrive bysâ with precision all day. Each increasing in intensity until the last 2 bites. Neck. Ass. Hard.
Every time I spiked harder with âhappyâ chemicals. Adrenaline. Endorphins. The brainâs natural morphine. You know, the âglazyâ look you like so much.
But that spike, in constant intervals, means I come down. I drop like a rock.
PleaseâŚâŚplease, no more âLetâs see how far I can push herâ just before we are to have zero communication and/or contact for days. I just canât.
I can take the pain. And I can take the drop. I just canât take it alone.
Sigh âŚ
Please read @thistleandwhiskey words.
Learn from their pain.
Care PERIOD!!!!!!!
Just another reminder. Take care of whats yours...

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A little inspiration...
People think that intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them and their response is âyouâre safe with meâ - thatâs intimacy.
The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo