bridges burned (not beyond repair)
janaff family drabble, put under a cut because itâs long. this was going to be his new interview, but I decided to save it. cw for strong language and family infighting.Â
wc - 674
âYou canât be serious.âÂ
Janaff froze, feathers standing on end with surprise. His sisterâs sharp voice behind him snapped him from his current task, just as sheâd intended. âYou just got home, and now youâre going back.â He turned around to face Sikir, hands raised to his shoulders in surrender.Â
âThey asked me to go back. Wasnât my choice.â
âThey asked you to go back before. You said no. Why canât you say no now?â Sikir leaned her weight on one leg, letting her dark hair fall over one shoulder.Â
âIt was different before. Theyâre short on teachers-â
âBullshit.â Sikir shook her head. âYouâre running back there again. I want an explanation.â Janaff turned back to his bag, stuffing another tunic inside.Â
âLook, Iâm an adult now. You donât have to do the whole big sister act anymore. Youâre free! Leave me alone!âÂ
âThis isnât about me,â she snapped back. âThis is about Evre. She needs you, Janaff.âÂ
âSheâs her own person by now. Sheâs not a fledgeling anymore. Doesnât she have friends?â His tone was bitter now, soured by the low blow.Â
âShe wants her brother. I understand you leaving for the war, at least be with us in peace.âÂ
âThere isnât peace there, Sikir! Iâve got friends still trapped in the thick of it, and I-â
âAnd it is not your fucking war. You fought your war. We all fought our war. We fought and died and you killed for what? More of it? Donât tell me you miss that.âÂ
âThatâs not what I said.âÂ
âDo you want your glory, Janaff? Do you want your fucking glory? Go out and get it, and donât come back until you do. Donât mind us, weâll be fine,â she snarled. âWeâll just wait for you until the end of time, because thatâs what we do - we wait for you to come home and pray to the goddess above you do!âÂ
âI donât want any glory!â He turned back to face her, voice rising to match hers. âIâm not going because I like it! I donât care about all that, I just want my friends to be safe-âÂ
âYou donât even believe yourself.â The accusation stung like she was pressing nettles to him, but nettles only stung what was exposed, what was raw, what was true. âYou fought in two wars and didnât get any recognition for it. Now you want more.âÂ
âThatâs not true, if youâd let me fucking talk-â
âA war against a king, a goddess even, and nothing waiting at home for you except the endless love of your only family left-â
âWould you stop that?!â Janaffâs voice was a shrill wail, infallible sight blurred over. âI donât want to kill anymore, how dare you say I do!âÂ
âYou havenât given another reason to leave.âÂ
âYeah, maybe I want my moment, maybe I want some fucking recognition, but who wouldnât? I survived it, Sikir! I survived it all!âÂ
You donât know how lucky I am to be standing here. I saw a million deaths. I counted a hundred lives.Â
He wanted to run. He didnât owe her a debate, but he found himself rooted to the spot, the vicious thorny chains from her words holding him down. âI just want to fix whatâs wrong.â His voice was choked, miserable.Â
âIt isnât your problem to fix. What you should be fixing is this.â Sikir gestured in front of her, pointing to the both of them. âI donât want to live with a soldier. I want my brother back, Janaff.âÂ
âYou wonât have to live with a soldier,â he mumbled. âIâm going back tomorrow.âÂ
I need answers. I need something besides the forest. I need to live.Â
âI wish I understood why.â She didnât wait for the silence to grow any more pointed, instead turned and marched back out of the room. Janaff waited a few breaths before slinking to the open window and sliding through. His wings opened before his feet hit the ground and he flapped upwards, racing up towards the sky.Â










