#HAVCNS , a musing / personal blog plagued by jj ( 25, she/they ).

M A T E O . 

she kept her hold on him, making sure he KNEW she was there. and that he KNEW she wouldn’t be going anywhere. “i’ve got you, okay? we’re all here looking out for you. you gotta let us know when you’re going through stuff,” she spoke as he slowly pulled away. she kept one hand resting on his arm, keeping some form of contact with him. she gave his arm a soft squeeze, “hey, that’s alright. you just gotta let us know when there’s a problem, not necessarily what it is.” she paused for a moment. “no, no she’s soon though. she’s been asking about you.”

         “i will now,” he reassured her with a nod. if there was anyone he’d go to first, i’d be annie or elodie that was for sure. they both had a way of making him feel comfortable, which was something he longed for. “i’ll have to bring it up eventually i’m sure — with everything going on. it’d be hard not to,” he sighed, thankful for the hand on his shoulder. she kept him from completely breaking down. “has she been okay? she’s— she’s going to hate me for what i did. i never left her anything, elodie. just a typical goodnight before i left. i'm such an idiot."

mateozzy·:

“i speak for the truth. and for the trees,” bryce grins for a fleeting moment his attention is then placed back to the question at hand. mateo wasn’t really one he knew much about ( if he knew much about anything ) and in comparison, it felt quite weird not having the full story. people he knew didn’t even know where the other had gone off to. “then how come i haven’t seen you?” eyebrows furrow. it doesn’t mean to come out stern —  it reminds him of how ezra speaks to him sometimes —  and bryce adjusts the bag on his shoulder before it has the opportunity to fall to the floor. “if it wasn’t outta the ordinary, i would’ve seen you. that’s ordinary.” he doesn’t want to pry. if mateo doesn’t want him to know, then fine. but bryce doesn’t like to be lied to. he wasn’t as dumb as people thought he was. “you don’t have to tell me. just don’t lie to me.”

         his brows furrowed at his words, confusion clearly written across his features. the trees? what did the trees have to do with anything they were talking about? “d’you like trees all of a sudden?” he asked because he had to put his curiosity to rest, he was not at all picking up what the other was putting down. at the question, he remains silent. then he figure he may as well stay that way until bry was done speaking altogether, since it did all tie together. it wasn’t like he was trying to hide the truth, he just didn’t know how to talk about it — he didn’t have to courage to discuss it ( though he didn’t have much trouble sharing it with annie, that was different ). “i know — i’m sorry,” he sighed, his hands gripping the straps of his own bag and inhaling a deep breath. “just went away for a bit — sorted some things out for myself. i’m kind of freaked to see griffin if he knows,” and that was the truth. sure, bryce was also someone he knew would stand up for the people he loved — but would he react the same way griffin would, if griffin knew how torn up he made annie? “got a lot of shit from my past. that’s all that is really worth mentioning right now.”

FUTURE AU

 ✂ - for my muse to rescue yours from danger

“ANNIE!” came his shout from his spot not far from where she stood, his heart stopping when he saw her slip. they had been up there because he wanted to capture a few pictures of the sunset — typical. it was a stupid idea with the rain that fell for a majority of the day, only clearing up once the sun began to settle. he hated when she walked along the ledge, but she told him she was always careful — and until that moment she always was. if it hadn’t been for the rain — god, he swore he’d never take pictures again after this ( not literally but it sure did feel that way ). he never moved that fast in his entire life, crossing the distance and gripping her arm with both of his hands. he yanked her up without another second passing and immediately pulled her into his arms, cradling her close while he knelt to the ground — his breaths heavy and rapid at the fear and adrenaline that coursed through him. “annie — jesus —" he croaked, his head leaning against hers, “—you scared the hell outta me,” he peppered her face with kisses, his arms clinging to her at this point, “leave the ledge walking to batman.”

✤ - for my muse to wake yours from a nightmare

at some point during the night they left each other’s embrace, only their arms meeting in the middle. the first time he heard her and felt the arm move against his wasn’t processed, nor was the second. the third time though, his eyes opened immediately and he sat up to face where she lay. he knew it wasn’t smart to reach out and hold her, so instead he scooted toward her and very lightly traced his fingers along her arm. “annie,” he whispered, sliding a little bit closer. “annie,” he echoed again, lifting his hand to trace the length of her brow and then down her cheek, and along her jaw. his eyes followed a tear that rolled down her cheek and he delicately brushed it away, “i’m right here annabella.” then within a few seconds she jolted awake and he didn’t waste another one in pulling her close, his hands rubbing her back to try to calm her down, “you’re okay, bella.”

♥ - for my muse to express physical affection to yours

the sound of his name carrying from the soft voice behind him pulls his attention from his camera, his heel slowly guiding his entire body toward her. there wasn’t a moment where he was looking at her and wasn’t completely captivated — but there were moments, like this one here, where he was left completely speechless. his lips parted slightly as his eyes took her in, in awe of the dress she wore ( it just wasn’t something she was often wearing, unless the situation called for it — like it did now ). it wasn't over the top, nor was it entirely casual, it simply suited her. the moments that were real — moments like this, easily had him falling just a little bit more in love wither her. it was only when his eyes met hers that he realized he had forgotten to breathe, and he inhaled a deep breath before releasing a light chuckle, “annabella whitlock, you are breathtaking — literally.”

“i hate candy, it’s horrible for you. i will eat dark chocolate though.”

“just about everything to do with TRUST.”

“maybe still in school? annie and i have also talked about traveling a lot...”

“PENELOPE, for obvious reasons. ANNIE, for obvious reasons. TEDDY, for obvious reasons. and i’ve been beginning to warm up to AJ.”

MATEO.

– THE HAND on the back of her head, cradling her in a way, did more to calm her ragged breathing than hours of consolation could – purely because it was mateo. if anyone else ( except maybe griffin ) attempted to hold her when she was such a wreck, she’d push them away, maybe even threaten them not to touch her – but this was so, so different, and her hands moved from rested against the sides of his neck to curl around it tightly, small fingers curling to clutch at the fabric of his shirt. she was prepared to stand there for as long as she possibly could, afraid, for a moment, that’d he’d slip away again – and when he did ( simply to take off his coat, unbeknownst to her ), a whole new wave of anxiety rushed through her. “no, no, please —–” the words came out rushed and broken, eyes flickering over his face frantically, ready to plead, to beg him to stay. her face immediately flushed bright red when he simply set his coat over the back of her desk chair, sniffling pathetically as she shuffled closer to him again and curled her arms around his middle, unable to muster the energy even to be ashamed about the misunderstanding. she followed him wordlessly as he moved, settling against him where he sat down – she stayed standing, her knees resting against the edge of her bed as she brought her hands up to cradle the sides of his face. “tell me what happened,” her voice was just barely a whisper, nimble fingers combing through disheveled, brown hair in an attempt to comfort him. “——from the beginning. —– please.”

M A T E O .

elodie kept her gaze focused on him. she gave him a quick glance up and down and if she was being honest, he didn’t look good. his clothes definitely hadn’t been washed. she couldn’t begin to imagine what had happened to him over the past week. “of course we’d notice ‘teo, you’re like FAMILY,” elodie let out a soft laugh and shook her head. her arms wrapped back around him tightly once he leaned back into her. her eyes blinked furiously, trying to hold back the tears beginning to form. “hey, hey –– it’s OKAY,” elodie’s voice cracked as she spoke. “you’re back and you’re safe now. and that’s all that matters.”

         LIKE FAMILY. that stuck in his mind and, truth be told, almost spilled his tears right there. it was becoming increasingly more believable the more he heard someone refer to him as such. it almost became easier for him to believe and feel it too. “okay—” was all he could muster up, taking a second longer to relax in her embrace before he slowly drew himself from her grasp. “maybe i can explain everything another time. just — not ready to talk about it just yet... i don’t think,” his eyes move to the floor then shift to her, the toward the stage. “has penelope danced yet? i didn’t miss it did i?”

mateozzy·:

people didn’t tell him much. bryce could notice, though, that something was off. it wasn’t just getting colder out ; it seemed as if people were leaving, too, which he didn’t understand because everyone he knew was still here. was this what it was like to start loosing your mind? the only flaw in his thinking is the fact that he hadn’t seen mateo as often as he’d liked. the last time was..the halloween party? maybe the day after? bryce doesn’t know, but it’s been a while and he’s concerned. his concern is soon overturned ( not without a feeling of guilt ) with thoughts of the musical, the field trip, school and family. his sister did just have a baby, after all. the sight of mateo in front of him is enough to nearly make him jump out of his skin ; it feels like he’s looking at a ghost, not a person. it’s not like mateo had died..or had he? was bryce really loosing it? “it was fun,” he shifts his weight between two feet and his bag is slowly falling off his shoulder at the action. “where’ve you been?” it’s curious ; not accusatory, not scared or angry. 

         “fun— you’re a man of many words,” mateo sighed, hoping the attention would last a bit longer on bryce before switching to him. it was literally only a matter of seconds before the question switched to him, his cheeks warming in a mild panic. the boy wasn’t about to fold just yet though, the chance that some people didn’t notice was still actively present in his mind. “around. taking pictures. doing homework. nothing out of the ordinary —” an obvious lie, but he still held his ground rather well. “just doing what i normally do, that’s all.” surely bryce, of all people, wouldn’t have taken too kindly to him if he did know, right? and since elodie knew, wouldn’t that mean he would to? still, he wasn’t about to dwell on the thought. especially if he was getting off without any problem with bryce — the guy could be intimidating when he wanted to be.