treat yo self

by the way i'm the reason why they send weathermen into hurricanes and shit. "it's needless and dangerous!!!!!" i don't care. every day i call into CNN and demand they send their most pathetic newscaster into a storm to watch them be knocked down by wave and wind and they sigh and say yes ma'am. and i do this all for nasty, sexual purposes, if you were wondering.

Btw if I say things like “by god” or “good lord” in posts please be aware I don’t mean it in a catholic way I mean it in a 1950s scientist reacting in horror after they create an evil creature in the lab set in the distant future year of 2005

black turtleneck sweaters are like if the word cunt were an object

not being productive or relaxing but a secret third thing

stinkoscope

why hello OP i happened to be searching the tag of my name all across Tumblr and came across this old post which happened to exist before my own account which is quite incredible

i made you

hey so remember how your boyfriend was so soaking wet and shivering that i put him in the dryer? well he got caught in the lint trap. yeah i can't get him out. sorry

i flipping hate ao3's layout there's too many goddamn words

sorry i can’t come over, im ill with the human experience

i made fanart of your boyfriend sorry i also drew myself in a wedding dress next to him and um . yea that person being carried away by gargoyles is you sorry. do you think he will like it though..? shut up . yes he will. shutup shut h sdghutuop

head full but i dont even know what’s in there

uh-oh. figured it out. cant tell you though