don't touch me

my postdoc was late today because she superglued her fingers together and couldn’t figure out how to separate them.

i hate substack so much. people act like it’s some new invention and it’s literally just blogging. i didn’t read people’s livejournals either.

every time i poop something brand new comes out of me. the bristol stool chart is useless to me. i’m working on another dimension.

you can’t let lifestyle creep catch up with you and that’s why i’ll live in a studio apartment until the day i die

how about this for a small business. a hardware store that sells tools. a deli that serves turkey sandwiches.

genuinely though the small business owners complaining about how raising the minimum wage would put them out of business. yeah because your business is selling 7lb resin triangles. your business is a net negative for the community and for earth and you SHOULD have it shut down.

god said let’s have cleaning the bathroom make humans get disgustingly sweaty no matter the temperature

i’ve played over 450 hours of JUST picross on the switch

dude i got some bird photos that i could submit to natgeo. i mean this shit is awesome. this camera and lens are the best $1k i’ve ever spent.

how are you going to claim that the govt doesn’t want you to grow your own food when the usda puts out literal instruction manuals on growing your own food, including preservation methods. it’s almost like living in a high-density society necessitates agriculture to be outsourced to at least the hinterland.

on hour 12 of saying shit at my mom, i’ll be like “yeah at the grocery store a couple months ago. i noticed a couple smaller than average onions” and my mother, who i now realize should be canonized, will be like “onions do seem smaller this year”

i actually need to know how pet and lab mice are related because i hear things about pet mouse breeding that don’t make sense to me.

if you do a phd, you run the very real risk of dying in a hit and run on year 5. half a decade of suffering for a hypothetical brighter future down the drain.

i’m going to make a vision board but it’s just reasons to not go to grad school. because sometimes i’m like “ugh i really should” but like huh? there would be literally zero benefits to it. it would make my life immeasurably worse during AND after.