haha you’re a dork (i want to fuck you)

Calling something "breakfastless behavior" just the modern day "you forget yourself"

“you’re allowed to relax, you know” unfortunately i cannot do that. Otherwise they will get me

im sure if i move far away from home to somewhere no one knows me my whole personality will suddenly change and everyone will love me and everything will be better im sure im sure im sure

affirmations: i am very normal. i am not trapped in a lie of my own making. everything is fine. no one will uncover my web of deceit #mywebofdeceit

implying someone's desire to wed and impregnate or be impregnated by a partner in pursuit of domestic normalcy is in any way shape or form less influenced by upbringing, traumatic experience, neuroses and gendered social expectations than my desire for [I have been advised by legal counsel to omit this section of the post]

sorry i threatened to eat you i was trying to flirt

sorry i moaned when u pet my hair it will happen again

i actually love being bossed around and told what to do like sometimes i might not listen but i love it

Do you ever think about how pretty I'd look struggling against restraints and writhing in pain? Honest answers only

"You’re short" i mean if you wanna manhandle me just say that