We're All Mad Here

Are you high? You’re smoking something, right?

High on life, I suppose.

Ohhhh… okay….

-pats Mickey on the head-

You just wanted a compliment?

I did. 

How can I be sure I can trust you?

How can you be sure, indeed?

Oh come on! Don’t keep me waiting! Plus, after the Ceremony, your opinion will be entirely biased!

No, it won't. You have my word. And I am nothing if not a man of my word.

What is?

Exactly.

Thanks… You’re not half bad yourself.

Why, thank you. I was merely fishing for that particular compliment.

-starts singing- A very merry unbirthday, to who? To me? Oh, you! A very merry unbirthday, to you! Yes, you! Let's all congratulate us with another cup of tea. -clinks his cup with Simon's- 

If it entertains you or makes you happy or helps you in anyway, it’s what we’re supposed to do.

And that is my point.

I wouldn’t say that.

I would.

Hey uh… when you look at me, what do you see? Like other than genetics, do I look like I belong in Abnegation? Or somewhere else?

I will answer those questions after your Choosing Ceremony.

Wonderful! -blows a loud birthday horn- You were saying, lad?

What does that even mean?

The meaning is just right below you're very nose, dear padawan. 

-wakes up and groans- How long have I been asleep?

A mere century, my dear. We've developed proper cryogenics when we couldn't resuscitate you. You're in a virtual library so we can gauge your natural response.

I didn’t want to fall as well?

Well, you're a boring sort.

Happy unbirthday, my good man! -hands him back the teacup- Have some biscuits and cake! -hands him a plates of biscuits and cake- Put on this hat! -gingerely sets a sombrero on Simon's head-

… Okay then… See you there.

I'm sure you will. I'll be sitting by the Erudite leader.