Step into my office

getting older is funny because characters you used to look up to and see as very established and grown up people are like 29

So many star trek characters are under 40... So many...

Normal groceries like milk or bread or whatever running out is whatever. Just anotha day. But when stuff like salt or cooking oil or rice runs out it feels like You’re supposed to be here for me and you’re leaving. You’re just like everyone else

Bloopers are movie aftercare and it’s fucked up that we got rid of them

the best way i can think to describe the experience of reading moby dick is you’re in line at the dmv and this guy behind you very loudly says “well who HASN’T had a gay experience” and then proceeds to tell you every detail about his life in between anecdotes about how great sperm is and how ropes work and sometimes he’ll say the most poetic shit you’ve ever heard in your life and them jump RIGHT back into explaining how a whale is a fish because 1) it swims in water and you’re still only like halfway through the dmv line

I did enjoy how many of the new Cenobites in Hellraiser 2022 were women. Always happy to see women in STEM (sadism, torture, excruciation, masochism)

Why would you use duct tape to hold hands ?

Wait I’m a fucking idiot

Trying to join a big Discord server when you're not really that familiar with Discord servers somehow manages to combine the social anxiety of trying to make new friends or ordering at a fancy new coffeeshop for the first time with the general chaos and technical barriers to entry of an MMO. I shuffle up to the counter and go "Um, hey, can I get---" only for someone named ☽ 𝓖𝓸𝓫𝓵𝓲𝓷 𝓕𝓾𝓬𝓴𝓮𝓻 ☾ [👑 Mod] [👺 Dark Wizard] [♣︎ BUNT] [🔮 Pengis Time 2022] • he/him to manifest in a cloud of bisexual coloured animated lightning, turning me instantly to dust and then announcing to the shop at large "Hey guys, please remember to read the #2026-updated-rules-terms-and-conditions and choose your role before you speak, also remember that ordering should go in #ordering-drinks, #ordering-cakes, or #ordering-a-cake-and-a-drink, unless you're 🔉just-using-the-bathroom. Thanks"

Evening starts when I get home from work and includes some of the night. Night starts at full-dark. Past 11:00 is strictly night. Past 1:00 is early-morning and night until the sun appears

WTF are those obelisks on the right?…

Tasty obelisk fries..

“It’s digestible” has got to be the laziest goal I’ve ever seen achieved by a food product.

“It’s digestible”

I have learned a new thing today.

Love this post for so many reasons but most especially because this is from all the way back in 2012 and and yet not a single blog in this thread is deactivated

I enjoy that not only does this have a link to an actual source, but the link still fucking works.

Love the gay history, but i just wanna correct that the “it’s digestible” in the gay stuff was a reference to crisco’s tagline it had been using since 1911, the actual meaning of its digestible is because it’s main competition came from “enhanced” lards which were rendered pig fat mixed with non food thickeners that literally did not digest and caused people to basically just shit out pig cream, since crisco was veggie based the body digested it along with the food

Truly thrilled to finally find this post on my dash.

Fucked Up But True: If You Don't Do Anything With Your Day, The Day Will Keep Going On Without You

really love keeping up with my mutuals through their little tags and vent posts. getting updates on how they’re doing is something like: glad to know your job at the library is going well. i’m sorry you haven’t gotten that raise. glad your finals went well. i’m sorry your teacher is so unhelpful. glad your tv show got renewed. i’m sorry they killed your favorite character. glad that you scored tickets to see your favorite artist. i’m sorry they aren’t touring near you at all. glad your cat is doing well. i’m sorry your mom is sick again. glad you’re feeling better now that it’s your favorite season. i’m sorry your meds aren’t working. glad you’re married now. i’m sorry you have to step back for your mental health. glad you’re still here. i’m sorry life is so hard. glad you’re alive, i hope things get easier for you soon

i say yay outloud too like this isn't just my internet persona this is real me

Self care kind of got co-opted by like, Lush marketing, but the thing is that actually self care is an extreme uphill battle. You need good sleep good food and gentle exercise calibrated for your specific physiology. How many days a week do I get all 3 of these? Hahahahahahahha