too indolent for exercise; too immoral for the pulpit @harlotan - Tumblr Blog

You need to watch this, basically almost all nursing homes here in Portugal are doing the bottle flip challenge and it’s the best thing ever. Here’s one of the videos

katedrawscomics

the only acceptable dabs

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tenaflyviper

hellomeghann

1979 tho 😳

stuckinthiscocoon

It was the 70s okay? Everybody did drugs back then

becuzbacon-deactivated20170221

1979 😩😩😩

fatandbougie

79 & 59 Barbie look like she’ll give you the clap then rob you.

ssstop-it-sunflowa

2010: I’m ready to get my life together as an successful working woman 2011: fuck that I got me a sugar daddy

harlotan

What I find interesting about this, is I was born in 92, and 94-95 barbies look most like Barbie to me. I wonder what other people who played with these dolls at different times would feel looking at these faces.

draconym

I think one of the funniest things I’ve accidentally taught my parrot is yelling “WHAT?” The best part is that if he says something weird and and someone else says “what???” he usually repeats what he just said. Like just now, I was cooking in the kitchen and he heard me boiling water so he asked “you wanna noodle?” but I couldn’t quite hear him so I yelled “WHAT” and he repeated “you wanna noodle?”

Mostly he just likes yelling it, though.

draconym

Less funny things I’ve accidentally taught my parrot:

to make the smoke detector noise every time someone makes toast

to make gross eating noises at us when he wants us to share our food

to announce that he is about to poop just about every time he poops

to demand payment in the form of peanuts for every instance of good behavior

no seriously he says “I get a peanut” every single time and gets VERY MAD if not given a peanut

anonymus-maximus-er

……LESS funny??!??????

goldenheartedrose

I’m reading that in a “oh god what have I done” kind of way.

hashtagloveloses

i love journalism

tibets

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scienceshenanigans

immaplatypus

“I’M ESPECIALLY GOOD AT PRECIPITATING”

eggscelsior

“MY WHAT AN EYE THAT GASTON”

whitmerule

when i was a breeze i blew four dozen trees every morning to strengthen my gales and now that i’m grown i just raze them with ease, so i’m seven times bigger than wales!

lucide-dreamer-dreams

@uru-viel @amusewithaview @give-me-cuddles-now @alice–with-a-bowtie @lawful-evil-novelist @pinkpandorafrog @neverending-shenanigans @defen-es-tration

backto5oh5

My favorite tweet in all of existence

boredpanda

Dad Of 4 Girls Tweets Conversations With His Daughters, Proves Parenting Is Fun

sourcedumal

Lmfaoooooo children will roast you. Truly

amuzed1-deactivated20241106

The 5-year-old is SAVAGE. LOL

thislifeshitistrash

“I read her the instructions” 😂😂😂

black-to-the-bones-deactivated2

I’m John Brassil

black-to-the-bones-deactivated2

OMG

obviousplant

I gave these adoptable cats some interesting likes and dislikes. All these cats are real and can be adopted here! See more on Facebook.

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nancyishappy

harlotan

o look, it me

fanboyingoverdemigods

this is honestly just so pure

mothbug-deactivated20200626

osointricate

Trope that can die:

Grown men telling their small sons to “take care of things now” like their grown, capable mother isn’t standing right there, listening.

peridotsofficialtwitteraccount

IF YOU CANT HANDLE ME AT MY WORST, JUST REMEMBER THAT I HANDLE ME AT MY WORST AND THAT MAKES ME STRONGER THAN YOU

myneurodiversity

Oh my goodness this makes me feel powerful I hadn’t even thought of it like this.

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razzledazzlewaffle

Dominique Christina - “The Period Poem”

Mother Dominique Cristina responds to a tweet her daughter sent her about a guy breaking up with his girlfriend because her period started while they had sex. (x)

nzurianne

This shit right here 🙌

homoidioticus

Love the banan, be the banan

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too indolent for exercise; too immoral for the pulpit