My personal intake: Being Queer and being in love with Morten.
When I was 18 years old, I had a huge crush on Morten Harket.
Not many knew who he was (at least in the country I grew).
Strangely, I started having a crush on him after watching him talk about Hunting High and Low in the 'Behind The Scenes ' interview hosted by Blue Peter (not at the ending of Take On Me)
That part of the interview barely had any romance at all. It was strange. It was just him.... talking...and thinking at the same time. I thought that was cute.
I haven't had a lot of experience in romantic relationships, and yet, I always wondered how it feels to talk to him and hear him talk and talk for hours. I wonder how it feels to share eye contact, gazes, hear him sing and to be close.
So much for anticipation of physical and emotional intimacy.. but, in the end, it never lead to anything, expect for more music recommendations.
When people share their relationship experiences or dating, I swear to fjords I had no idea what they were talking about. I wished I knew how it feels to be in that position. Anything about anticipation of sexual intimacy in an actual relationship gave me bouts of anxiety.
As much as I was happy that I discovered pleasure and intimacy because of him, the thought of an act just made me feel strangely uncomfortable. While dating, i never got those rush of hormones, the whole thing felt forced from an external point of view. I just didn't get it, until I realised I was asexual.
When i was on my own, with my thoughts and fantasies, I loved being in control of my own body, and it was beyond liberating to experience that. That experience of pleasure made me love my body more, and I started caring for it much more.
When I re-discovered Morten's intimately beautiful singles (notably The One You Are, Safe With Me and Heaven Cast) in 2021, I never felt broken. I continued imagining him singing close to my ear and holding me close.
And to me, that was a feeling I get and yearn.
I felt happy and comfortable that I was ace. I used to get confused by that conclusion because I fell in love with that man... and much later, I realised that my idea of intimacy and outlook on pleasure is different and it will always be different. It doesn't have to be polarized at all.


















