Happiness in a Mint!

i have been battling with myself for the past 7 years of my existence. i sometimes thought that having a significant other will constantly make me happy. nonetheless, in every relationship i am into, i always caught myself being insecure with the person i am with.  2 of my pasts have cheated on me and still accepted and loved them.  so whose problem is that. am i constantly searching or committing with the wrong person.  

i have some goals to reach. but i don’t have the drive to accomplish them. i once read that one should be aggressive of one’s goals. i was once like that then after a failure all my fighting spirits vanished. i don't have the drive that i once had. the person i once was is slowly fading in front of me. everyday i am struggling to bring that back. i was once a goal-getter, a fighter, i strived hard on keeping myself fit and reaching what i want. now, i've become the opposite of myself 10 years ago. i am not exercising, not eating healthy and being lazy with my to-do-lists.  i don't know if i need help. but sometimes even if someone helps you, it won't work if someone is not willing to help oneself.

i am planning to change my lifestyle starting on june. i don’t want to be thin but i want to be healthy.  i took a schedule from our recreation center here. there is a swimming pool and a gym.  i will buy a new phone on june. so that i could take pictures of what i am doing. more of like an everyday photo diary. i will also take pictures of what i am eating and of course posting it here in tumblr. this medium has been my go to for my journaling.