Kedu

If you’re reading this, it means I actually worked up the courage to mail it. So good for me.

You don’t know me very well, but i you get me started, I have the tendency to go on and on how hard the writing is for me. But this… Is the hardest Ive ever had to write. There’s so easier way to say this, so I’ll just say it. I met someone.

It was an accident.

I wasn’t looking for it, I wasn’t on the make. It was a perfect storm.

She said one thing, I said another. Next thing I knew, I wanted to spend the rest of life in the middle of that conversation.

Now there’s this feeling in my gut, she might be the one.

She’s completely nuts, in the way it makes me smile, highly neurotic.

A great deal of maintenance required. She is you, Karen.

That’s the good news,  The bad news is that I don’t know how to be with you right now. And that scares the shit out of me. Because if Im not with you right now, I have this feeling we’ll get lost out there. Its a big, bad, world full of twist and turns, and people have a way of blinking, and missing the moment… the moment that couldn’t changed everything.

I don’t know what’s going on with us and I can’t tell you why you should waste a leap of faith on the likes of me… but damn, you smell good, like home. And you make excellent coffee. That’s got to count for something, right?

Call me.

As I sit here reading these words, I am breathing. 

There is a subtle tranquility in just letting the body breathe, without having to do anything about it. Probably what this draggy holiday is doing to me, allowing myself to take time to breathe and let my body parts be exactly how they’re supposed to be.