use me use me use me use me

This is the same stuff I’ve said a lot in more posts than I can remember but I want to make a specific post about it since I get a lot of questions about these things and I want to add it to my resources page.

Prostitute is a Slur

Prostitute is a word that is used entirely to criminalize sex workers. The word refers specifically to exchanging sex acts for money, which is a crime in most places, and is part of the reason other terms like ‘escort’ came along; escorting is selling one’s time which may or may not include sex, and is paid by an hourly rate, whereas prostitution is paid by the sex act. In many places, ‘escorting’ allows a loophole for full service sex work though it also has some classist implications. It remains though that prostitute is a word that strips full service sex workers of our humanity and reduces us to criminals; this is the history and intention of it. It is a slur, so don’t use it except to self refer if you’re a full service sex worker yourself.

Hooker is a Slur

Hooker is a disparaging term for a full service sex worker, often linked to street-based work, which again has class issues. It is used to demean and degrade full service sex workers. Don’t use it.

Whore is a Slur

This is an area where a lot of people fuck up, believing bullshit like “but whore is used to target all women!” No shit, guess why? Because it refers to full services sex workers. That’s the entire reason why it’s offensive. When you call someone a whore, you are literally calling them a full service sex worker. Don’t do it, and don’t use it for yourself if you’re not a sex worker (the word can be applied to sex workers who don’t do full service in some situations, but only to self refer). 

When you use any of the above words, you are contributing to whorephobia; the specific marginalization that sex workers, usually women, experience in every aspect of society from interpersonal relationships to the state. This stigma often results in discrimination, violence, rape, death and even murder. Language matters. Words are important. 

Whorephobia

Whorephobia is the term that sex workers coined in the 1970s to describe this oppression. This is the only instance where non sex workers can use the word whore. While there are problems raised with this word, it’s what we have, it’s been around for 40 years now so unless sex workers decide to change it (if that’s even possible) this is what we have whether we like it or not. The fact that this word contains a slur is no fucking excuse to attack people for using it, and the only people who complain about it are whorephobic fauxminists themselves who are trying to silence us by taking away our language to call them out on their bigotry while changing the subject, trying to paint US as misogynists. This is not a “new libfem term” and libfeminism has fucking nothing to do with sex worker rights anyway; sex workers have historically occupied the fringes of society, something which every brand of feminism likes to avoid.  If you don’t feel comfortable using this word, feel free to write it as wh*rephobia instead.

Street-Walker is a Slur

This word specifically attacks street-based workers, who experience the worst marginalization of all sex workers with all other things being equal. Even in sex worker spaces, street-based workers are often looked down on by indoor sex workers such as escorts or brothel workers. This is called lateral whorephobia and it’s fucked up. No one gets to use this phrase except street-based workers. 

Pimp is another term that often comes up in these conversations. It has a complicated history and has strong anti-Black connotations. Pimping is a reality, it definitely does happen and there are situations where this word is appropriate. It’s also a concept used to attack sex workers by criminalizing anyone who assists us; legally, anyone who helps a sex worker organize their appointments or drives them to and from a client can be charged as a pimp. It’s a disparaging term that often targets friends and partners of sex workers. It’s also widely used by anti sex worker fauxminists to discredit peer-based organizations; SWERFs will baselessly claim that sex worker organizations are actually run by pimps. This virtually never happens as most organizations have strict policies regarding who can become a member; only sex workers can join peer-based organizations. 

John is a term used to refer to the clients of sex workers. We virtually never use it, we call them clients cos that’s what they are though some sex workers call their clients tricks. That’s really up to them, but non sex workers would be better off using clients, especially since not all clients are men anyway. 

Appropriate Language 

The catch-all term for anyone who sells their sexual energy is ‘sex worker’. This includes strippers, peep show performers, brothel workers, cam performers and many more. The key point is that they sell their sexual energy; there are people in the sex industry who don’t and therefore are not sex workers, such as security staff, DJs, drivers, managers etc. 

Since this is an umbrella term, you may need to refer to specific sex industry positions.

Full service sex worker is anyone who has sex with their clients. Sex can be a variety of things but usually involves genitals touching (some sex workers only do massage with hand relief, and they are not full service sex workers), though not necessarily every time. The term implies that some form of penetrative sex is an available activity. 

Indoor sex worker generally refers to any full service sex worker who works indoors. They may work for themselves privately in their own homes or from hotel/motel/rented rooms, for an escort agency, or in a brothel/parlor. Indoor sex workers generally experience lower risks of violence; from clients, strangers and police. 

Street-based sex worker generally refers to sex workers who work outdoors or in public/semi public places. Some people consider sex workers who meet clients via the internet/newspaper advertisements and see them in semi-public spaces (e.g. cars, public toilets) to be street-based but more commonly, street-based sex worker means the sex worker meets their clients in a public place; sometimes a bar or club but more often, a stroll (a stroll is a street where sex workers to tend to work; clients know to go to that street in particular to find sex workers). Sometimes strolls are decriminalized; in Sydney for example, it’s not a criminal act for sex workers to meet clients at Kings Cross, though it isn’t legal to meet them in public anywhere else. Public sex is always illegal. Sometimes ‘outdoor sex worker’ is used, but less commonly.

Brothel worker is pretty self explanatory, I’ve not heard of another term to refer to sex workers who are based in brothels. Some brothel workers also do escorting, either privately or via the brothel.

SWERF is an acronym that means ‘sex worker exclusionist radical feminist’ and illustrates the fact that despite their protests, anti sex worker fauxminists actually hate us, including those of us who are forced, coerced and/or trafficked. They hide this behind false statistics and pretending that anyone with a tumblr account is too privileged to have an opinion, but in truth, they just want to silence us and force us out of our jobs. 

below are starters based on/inspired by various sources. change the genders as you see fit ;)

❝ why do you keep lying to me? ❞

❝ have you ever considered the idea that maybe, this world doesn’t revolve around you & your problems? ❞

❝ love is love is love is love. ❞

❝ marriage is an absurd arrangement. one is sold as a fifteen-year-old child and makes a vow one does not understand and then regrets for thirty years or more, and which one can never undo again. ❞

❝ why are you crying this time? ❞

❝ you will never escape. ❞

❝ this isn’t what I wanted! ❞

❝ everything has its consequences. ❞

❝ this face bears the mission of heaven. ❞

❝ no, you shall dismantle the house of lies, but build the temple of the divine. ❞

❝ one copper coin for a bowl of noodles! ❞

❝ that one has the heart of a lion. ❞

❝ I needed to be summoned. ❞

❝ there’s no reason for this hostility! I come in peace. ❞

❝ they died screaming. ❞

❝ why fight anymore? what’s the point of fighting against destiny? ❞

❝ how long have you known? ❞

❝ I can only speak for myself. ❞

❝ the law can be changed. ❞

❝ are you sure you’re not pregnant? ❞

❝ your child is adorable! ❞

❝ you gave him a riddle for his birthday? ❞

❝ you have no fucking right to treat me this way. ❞

❝ your ambition blinds you. ❞

❝ he adores you. ❞

❝ I feel like I should be shocked that you two had sex there, but I’m not anymore. ❞

❝ she’s going to kill you. ❞

❝ have you ever tried the cakes? they’re actually quite delicious. ❞

❝ you’ll need to be punished. ❞

❝ you should learn to lie better. ❞

❝ sometimes I wonder if you’re real. ❞

❝ I will take back what is mine & kill anyone who stands in my way. ❞

❝ then kill me. ❞

❝ there’s no such thing as love. there is only lust. ❞

❝ you’re selfish. you never think about anyone but yourself. ❞

❝ i’m sorry, but they’re gone. ❞

❝ death is just another adventure. ❞

❝ stop! ❞

❝ let them watch. ❞

❝ you have no shame, do you? ❞

❝ I can’t believe we’re talking about this right now. ❞

❝ I need advice. sex advice. ❞

❝ alright, tell me the truth, is he good in bed? ❞

❝ she is the best thing in my life. ❞

❝ you love him? ❞

❝ do you love me at all? ❞

❝ do you believe in soul mates? ❞

❝ please, you have to believe me. I didn’t kill anyone! ❞

❝ history is written by the victorious. ❞

❝ at least she has a heart! you have none. ❞

❝ isn’t it more important that they told you? ❞

❝ the king is displeased. ❞

❝ long live your majesty! ❞

❝ can you stop talking for just one moment & listen to me? ❞

❝ no matter how hard I try, they just won’t stay dead. ❞

❝ he’s a gold digger. he’ll screw anyone & marry them as long as they have money. ❞

❝ o! how sweet love must be! ❞

❝ do you really think that? ❞

❝ quick, you need to hide before they see you! ❞

❝ you taught me to never trust anyone. ❞

❝ this is extreme, even for you. ❞

❝ you guys were pretty loud last night. I guess it was good? ❞

❝ that wasn’t an apology & you know it. ❞

❝ are you a virgin? ❞

❝ I’m married. ❞

❝ best thing I ever did was marrying you. ❞

❝ red roses won’t erase the fact that you broke my heart. ❞

❝ stop taking all the ice cream! ❞

❝ has anyone told you that you’re sort of a little bitch? ❞

❝ it’s deep dish pizza. ❞

❝ do you want to fight for your land back or not? ❞

❝ I never realized how much of a coward you are. ❞

❝ there’s nothing worse than someone who isn’t willing to try new things. ❞

❝ haven’t you ever wanted to escape? to leave this place & explore the world? ❞

❝ i think you’ve had enough to drink. ❞

❝ your ancestors would be ashamed if they saw you. ❞

❝ one of the dolls is missing! ❞

❝ are we going to die here? ❞

❝ well looks like we’ve found ourselves in a bit of a dilemma. ❞

❝ I am no longer a child! ❞

❝ the baby won’t stop crying! i don’t know what to do anymore! ❞

❝ what if something happens to them? ❞

❝ once upon a time, I gave a damn about what people thought about me. ❞

❝ if he can get away with this, then so can i! ❞

❝ the dark shall come & take everything you love from you. ❞

❝ it’s the same story over & over again. you’d think people would know better by now. ❞

❝ there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. ❞

❝ you are what is wrong with this world. ❞

❝ shattered dreams can drive anyone mad. ❞

❝ I am a phoenix. burn me & I shall return, rising from the ashes. ❞

❝ this is my home. ❞

❝ home is where the heart is, where you feel safe & warm & loved. ❞

❝ running away has never solved a damn thing! ❞

❝ fuck me. ❞

❝ oh the things I’d do to you if we were alone. ❞

❝ stop, he’s not here, remember? he’s gone & he can’t hurt you anymore. ❞

❝ your husband/wife – is he/she good to you? ❞

❝ stop & think a moment, you have to stay & rest. there’s a child who needs you now, you can’t just run & be a fucking idiot. ❞

❝ once, I drank a whole bottle by myself. ❞

       'okay we used to be best friends and we promised we were gonna get married when we got older but we drifted apart after high school and now i got an invitation to your wedding and wait that’s not how it was supposed to go’ au

      ‘we promised we were going to write a tv show one day but we never did it because we grew apart but wait – didn’t i just hear these kids on the bus talking about a tv show that sounds a lot like our idea? wait, you are the one writing it? you do realize that story was half mine, right? i wANT MY MONEY’ au

       ‘you and i used to date but we broke up and it was really ugly and we stopped talking and now we bumped into each other after ten years and wow that kid sure does look a lot like – wait, how old is your kid? ten? oh. OH’ au

       ‘you are my new boss and fuck i feel like i know you from somewhere. wait, did you just say you are from said city? oh shit, you are the person i used to stalk when i was in high school. fuck please tell me you don’t remember me. oh damn you just used my high school nickname – i am fucked, aren’t i?’ au

       ‘we bumped into each other on the supermarket after several years and we were both dressed fancy so we assumed we were both wealthy so we agreed to go on a date but i am not rich, i actually work as a living mannequin on a store and i was on my break but i don’t want you to think that i am a loser so shit how do i pretend to be wealthy when i don’t even have money to – wait, you are not wealthy either?’ au 

        or the same au above except ‘wait, you are actually a multimillionaire and you are terrified about people using you for your money so you are happy to have met someone who gets it? shit now i can’t tell you the truth’ au