it could either lick or strike

The Five (Plus One) Stages of Working Through Another Bob Mortimer Classic™, as shown by David Mitchell

This is Ian. He is the taxi driver who cooked me a fried egg sandwich on the engine of his car.

This is John. I was the only person to attend his neighbourhood watch meeting, so we spent ten minutes drawing a map of the road, then gave up and watched an episode of Knight Rider.

This is John. He came to my rescue when I once got stuck in a tree.

When we're all David, trying to figure out if Bob's new ludicrous (on the outset) story is true or not...

I used to eat so many carrots that I began to turn orange.

This is Claire, and she is my dentist whose earring I swallowed mid-procedure.

Because it irritates me so much, I’m always correcting people when they wrongly call fog, mist, and mist, fog.

thanks anon! and me too lmao, bob is the supreme wilty guest honestly. but at least he’s on this upcoming episode!!!!!!!!!!!!! (also yes, i’d love to take requests! i can’t promise express delivery ofc, but i’ll try to get on it as soon as i see yours or anyone else’s request!)

This is Carlos. He came to my house to deliver a pizza, but we ended up building a bed together.

Best WILTY running gags: "This is a will-they-won't-they panel game."

Best WILTY running gags: Lee Mack + WILTY writers giving him the most bullshit of lies (bonus: how he and David really feel about it)

Because I can never remember the phonetic alphabet, I have invented one of my own, based on things I can see from my bedroom window.