Handicapping Everything

How to Properly Lose Your Riches Playing Daily Fantasy Basketball: December 19th, 2015

Let’s talk about Linsanity tonight. I know you want to do it. Place Jeremy Lin in that lineup and every time he gets a bucket, shout out things such as “LINSANE IN THE MEMBRANE” or, LINCREDIBLE, or, Linderela Story, or, “PLAYED HIM LIKE A VIOLIN“, or, “HE’S BEEN LINFECTED.”

However, Nicolas Batum should return to the Hornets tonight. The guy was sick on Wednesday. I can’t imagine him being sick…

How To Properly Lose Your Riches Playing Daily Fantasy Basketball: December 1st, 2015

If you remember from yesterday’s column, we’re celebrating the Retirement of Kobe Bryant similar to how Bryant announced his retirement: through poem. Or, in our case, Haiku.

Kobe bad. Shots Missed

Does not matter time is up

Even Sixers win

Speaking of Kobe Bryant…notice how I just put his name in bold? What does that mean? Do I like Kobe for tonight, against the Sixers? The real question about…

How To Properly Lose Your Riches Playing Daily Fantasy Basketball: November 30th, 2015

Kobe Bryant announced his retirement last night…through poem. I decided that all this week, in the writeups, we’ll be celebrating the legacy that Kobe Bryant has become, or has been, through haiku form.

Kobe shoot so bad

yell and curse he does most nights

Kobe done with ball

Clint Capelais turning into a solid play even on the nights when Dwight Howard decides he would like to play basketball. Is…

Gambling Odds for the Creed Sequel Plot Lines

Creed opened this weekend. Apparently things went well. Which, likely means sequels. And, what better way to celebrate the announcement of the three Creed sequels than to gamble on what those sequels will cover?

Spoiler Alert and such. I don’t know if I’ll actually spoil anything from Creed. I mean, picture Creed, there you go, you…

How To Properly Lose Your Riches on Daily Fantasy Basketball: November 24th, 2015

You ever have one of those moments where everything goes right in lineup creation? Every name. Every dollar value. Spot on. You hit submit and you’re like, “well, that’s a couple hundred bucks I can go spend frivolously.”

I had that moment today, except, some bullshit happened when I hit submit.

Can you really blame me for trying to play all of the Golden State Warriors but for Kevon Looney?

Tha…

How To Properly Lose Your Riches Playing Daily Fantasy Basketball: November 21st, 2015

Skipped a couple days, but back sayin’ the obvious once again here this morning. And, sticking with the theme I just set, “The Obvious”, we’re going to open with a man who needs no introduction to kangaroos, Matthew Dellavedova. Delly gets the start again tonight with Mo Williams out with an injury, after putting up 25 fantasy points in a start on Thursday. I’m overexposed to Delly, he’s all over…

New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman Is An Idiot, But, Severely Desires Your Love

By now, every Daily Fantasy Sports player knows that ground zero for the DFS legal fight is taking place in the state of New York. Leading the legal fight in New York against Daily Fantasy Sports is Attorney General Eric Schneiderman. Schneiderman, not content to simply allow this battle to play out in the court, using legal particulars, penned a propaganda piece for the New York Daily News. Now,…

How To Properly Lose Your Riches on Daily Fantasy Basketball: November 18th, 2015

Keeping it simple today…we did this once before, where, every name we mentioned in the column was a low dollar value play that you can fit in around a trio of star players. Is it the best strategy? I’m not saying that. But, I am saying that we’re lazy and today want to narrow down the pool of players I’m going to look at while I write this.

We’re going to break the plays down into two different…

How To Properly Lose Your Riches on Daily Fantasy Basketball: November 17th, 2015

We open today with the disappointing news that Jeremy Lambis questionable for tonight’s matchup. This is difficult on two levels. First, because Lamb has been providing value all over the place, but for, that Spurs matchup. And, now, because PJ Hairston is doubtful to play tonight. Lamb would be in line for additional minutes. A starter’s gig. All at a cost of $4,600 on DraftKings and 12 damn…

How to Properly Lose Your Riches on Daily Fantasy Basketball: November 16th, 2015

The first thing that I read when looking at players this morning was that Kobe Bryant would sit out tonight’s game against the Phoenix Suns. He just can’t handle that flight, man. So, how does this affect Daily Fantasy for November 16th, 2015? I ran this through like nineteen spreadsheets, or, thought about it in the shower and came away with one conclusion: very little. I mean, Phoenix Suns…

Daily Fantasy Football Value, Sleepers and Other Dudes You Need in Your Lineups for Week 10

We’ve taken a couple of weeks off from the Daily Fantasy Football write up around here, mainly because of the daily fantasy basketball columns we’ve been putting up every morning, but, there’s good value to be had in Week 10, and well, I missed doing these specifically related to football. So, let’s get back to it.

Quarterback

There’s only two quarterbacks I’m seriously looking at this week, and…

How To Properly Lose Your Riches Playing Daily Fantasy Basketball: November 13th, 2015

The last time I mentioned Kyle Lowry in one of these columns, he was scorching and with a decent price. Why not talk about this guy, I thought? It back fired. The next day he had one of his worst Fantasy performances. So, I’m not going to talk about Kyle Lowry. I’m not going to mention Kyle Lowry one bit. I’m not going to recommend playing him tonight (WINK), so, you know, there will be no jinx…

How To Properly Lose Your Riches Playing Daily Fantasy Basketball: November 12th, 2015

Welcome back, yesterday we opened with a bunch of words about the Daily Fantasy situation in New York. Rest assured, today we will not do that. The conclusion we came to was not that Daily Fantasy was about to get shut down, however, in the event that it does, there’s plenty of other things to gamble on in society. Such as: Monopoly and other Board Games.

Anyway, on to the players. I’m tempted to…

How To Properly Lose Your Riches Playing Daily Fantasy Basketball: November 11th, 2015

So, just as the evening’s slate kicked off last night, news broke that the New York Attorney General decided that the people in the State of New York are idiots and he needed to step in and protect them by tossing off a cease and desist in the direction of FanDuel and DraftKings. First, let me just say, don’t panic about your money. Regardless of which way this goes, FD and DK are going to mind…

Yet another Republican Debate, so, Here’s Your Somewhat Updated Gambling Guide to the Chaos…

We’ve finally whittled down the Republican debate field to a svelte 8. Down from 96. Gone from the main debate are Chris Christie and Mike Huckabee. Leaving these 8 knuckleheads in the main field: Ben Carson, Don Trump, Jeb Bush, Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz, Carly Fiorina, John Kasich and Rand Paul.

Also, we’ve kind of done these to death through the previous debates, so we’re only coming up with 5 new…

How To Properly Lose Your Riches Playing Daily Fantasy Basketball: November 10th, 2015

Yesterday, we spent a bulk of the conversation talking about Draymond Green and his ability to trash talk. Now, this little tidbit possibly didn’t help you cash last night, however, if awesome scored fantasy points, we definitely gave ourselves a pat on the back when we saw that Green did this last night:

Some of you might look at…

How To Properly Lose Your Riches on Daily Fantasy Basketball: 11/9/2015

I know we’ve started out negative towards Steph Curryin these write-ups. Talking about how he has yet to put together a complete game, etc., but, the Kings game was just rough going early on. Why? You ask. Not me. I know why. And, it’s a good thing you asked me. I believe it’s because his brother Seth, a player for the Kings who pulled a DNP – Injury on Saturday, got in his head. Probably told…