HanayumiC

鏡に映るあたしを欠いて　誰しもが見間違った虚像

«i'm missing from the mirror's reflection // they all mistook the fake for someone else»

Ideal companion

Bonus :

I don’t think he escaped childhood unscathed.

I left you without content last time, here are the Kinich sketches for you

for anyone but especially for born gods like apollo

and apollo likes being a god, he likes his domains and being good at them and seeing other people be good at them, he likes answering prayers and teaching and helping and guiding people, he likes seeing and learning new things as the world changes and he likes being immortal and having powers and being a part of the world

his problem has never been with being a god and everything with being under zeus and in fact!! i would even argue the heart of his conflict with zeus is how he doesn't let him be a god; he doesn't let him help his people and constantly twists his already bullshit laws so that he specifically can't help anyone at all even if it falls directly under his domain and also spreads weird propaganda misinformation on fate and prophecy and then turns around to blame him every time reality doesn't agree with his delusions

don't you get how sad that is? how tragic??

after eons of defiance, after stubbornly clinging to his identity in the face of someone who would love nothing more than to see him fall, to have apollo, finally, break, and give up, have him finally let go of the world, to conclude that it's not worth it, that nothing he does will ever make a difference and just try to enjoy this short term happiness and completely forsake the future

To say "yes" "gods indeed cannot change" not because of an inherent incapability to but because the system is just,, so big it's not worth even trying to fight it, and if you really cannot accept it anymore, then your best option truly is to lay down and wait to die

to have zeus finally succeed in completely breaking apollo, to make his little scheme with taking away apollo's identity work and to, at long last, find a way to neatly remove him and his threat and his influence and power and to take him completely out of the picture, to fully cement his absolute control and authority over the other olympians and take away any hope they may have had for good

I’d like to think that he stays in Lester form when doing small, stupid, godly things. To remind him of his six months of pain, suffering, friendship, grief, love, and more pain. To remind himself what it’s like to be human. I’d like to think he visits his old friends a lot, smiling over them as they go along their journey.

what I don’t like to think about, is his life after all of his friends have passed. He spent so much time bonding with his children, Meg, and so much more, and yet I always think about the fact that he will have to see them go. Imagine living for that long after everyone you know and love has gone. Imagine him watching Meg in her last days. Rooting for her. Imagine the grief he goes through when they’re all finally gone. The other gods laugh at him, call him weak. But those six months taught him how to be the best god ever. And that’s why, after TOA, I truly believe he will go through with his promise to Jason, and be more human. Be sensitive. Be caring. Be less arrogant. He knew that when he came back to Olympus, he was different. But he knew that it was in a good way. Part of him was sad to not be Lester anymore.

But then there the ones who are still left, Meg, Will, Nico, his other children, he thinks with love and care for the time (heartbeat of his) they are alive, and even after they're not. After everything he went through, gods, he would never allow himself not to, that would be simply failing with them, with himself, with the promises he'd made.

And it's long after those people passed that he realized the impact they had on him.

Even before their time alive had come to an end, he had changed, of course, after his trials how could he not? But the things he did after they ended were not exactly their part. The trials did not make him more attentive to his (and others') children, they did not cause him to lend a hand to those in need, they did not cause him to become better. The people with him through the trials though? The ones who lived, or the ones who died; They did. Even centuries after their passing, he still remembers them and what they taught him. What he does, he does because they did to him.

When they passed, he grieved, either as a human or a god. He wept for their departure and mourned their faded light, and felt guilty for the thousands of years he had neglected this: caring. More than any kindness and selflessness these mortals taught him, they taught him to care again. Because being a god means tipping right on the edge of nihilism, of no longer caring, because you always know what you will love, and then you always know you will lose it. And by heavens, he would not go back to that. The pain is almost unbearable, even after his return to godhood, but he remembers; it's best to grieve for all eternity than to never care again, he reckons.

He remembers them, both through thoughts and actions. He remembers their love, and grieves their passing, and will continue loving them for eternity: so long as he remembers, he will love. For him, there is no longer not caring, only new things to care for and to remember when their time ends, and he will remember each of them, weather it has passed or is yet to come.

Now, since Asclepius has been focusing on healing Michael and also barely leaves Epidaurus, he also forgot to tell Michael about the whole war thing, so he's honestly really confused.

And then Leo recognizes him because Will has a picture of Michael on his quiver (and while giving the tour to Leo, the picture caught his eye and stuck, because adhd really makes you remember the randomest stuff) and tells him everything.

Michael is stubborn so when he hears about said war, he's ready to go, bows blazing, he wants to help. Asclepius thinks this is actually a terrible idea because you've barely been able to walk for a few months without crutches, and are still not at full strength, and Dad'll be disappointed if I let you go, but Michael's going.

So, along with the physicians cure, Jason, Leo, and Piper bring one feral Apollo kid back to the Argo II.

Percy thinks he's hallucinating because the guy he accidently killed is right there and maybe Tartarus messed him up more than he thought, and Annabeth is gaping at him.

Hazel and Frank have never been more confused in their life, which is saying a lot because both of them have the tendency to get confused over tiny things.

So, Michael becomes a temp member of the Argo II. Him and Frank get along amazing, and are always taking about archery and comparing bows (Frank's nearly two feet taller than Michael so his bow is actually twice Michael's bows size). And him and Percy have a much needed talk about the battle.

Sad part is Michael has to watch his father be banished and not heard from in six months (not fun), but good news is when Apollo does show up, we can get some quality Michael and Meg friendship! Apollo wishes they'd never met, but Meg adores Michael so much.

Meg jabbed Apollo with her elbow. "Your son is so cool."

Apollo glanced at where his eldest son at camp was currently chasing Sherman Yang with a broken arrow shaft, cursing with a variety of colorful language that, if he hadn't heard Meg say worse, he would be tempted to cover her ears. "I agree."

Meg clicked her tongue. "Must have got it from his mother, because you're lame."

Apollo gasped, clutching his chest dramatically. "Meg, you wound me!"

Meg chuckled softly. "Sucks to face the truth."

Another awesome scene could be Will, Kayla, and Austin reuniting with him, or Michael getting to curse out Octavian! (Would pay money to see).

Ignoring the fact that Apollo was willing to take his own life minutes before in an attempt to save Meg, Piper, and Jason - he’s been putting his life on the line for others since THO.

You can make the argument that the only reason he went after Kayla and Austin was because they were his kids if you want, but even throughout The Dark Prophecy he was willing to die if it meant saving someone else. He went out of his way to save Lityerses despite the fact he was his enemy, he straight up admitted to Trophonius that he was willing to die for Meg even though she betrayed him for Nero in the prior book, and then he went back to fight for the Waystation with a broken arm because they went through so much effort in supporting him through his trials. It’s actually baffling just how easy it is for him to fall in love with humanity, it’s not something he had to learn!

Jason had stuck his neck out for Apollo in BOO because he saw injustice. He knew Zeus was looking for a scapegoat and he used what little power he had against the king of the gods to try to spare his half-brother. Jason knew that even though he had been nothing but loyal to the gods and had saved the world twice over (cough cough fighting a titan bare handed and defeating Gaea alongside the seven cough cough), he was still just a cog in the system. He was only mortal. The most change he could make to the status-quo was ensuring that the other minor gods were represented in Camp Jupiter, but then he was issued a death sentence months later, so what power did he have really?

But you know who could make a difference?

Apollo. Apollo could.

The thing is, as much as Apollo complained about being a mortal, I honestly believe he would have rejected godhood had Jason not died. He had almost died several times over and the only one who offered him any Olympian assistance was his sister. He resented the Olympians for having all the power in the world and choosing to use none of it to help him or his friends. Apollo's biggest fear - one that overruled dying in my opinion - was becoming a god again, once again a puppet of his father, and falling back into his old ways out of fear and self-preservation.

I can't even count the amount of times where he was on the brink of death and felt relief and satisfaction at the thought of everything being over. He didn't want to die, but it was an escape from having to one day stand up against his father, his abuser. It was the easier alternative even if it was ultimately the worse one.

But Jason made him promise to keep going. To remember.

He had to get back to Olympus, remember all that has been sacrificed in order to return him to godhood so that he could make a better future. He has to live forever to ensure that generation after generation of demigods have someone supporting them indefinitely. So that they would not be as fearful and powerless as he was. He has to be immortal again so that he can use his power for good, as much as that scares him.

He had to become a god so he can look Zeus in the eyes and say "No, this is never happening again."

i can imagine those three being like: ‘why couldn’t he love his own children how he does with meg?’ and ‘why couldn’t we be the ones to make him see that being mortal isn’t bad and that it’s important to love?’