заметки на полях:
легкость - это не отсутствие глубины.
это отсутствие страха утонуть.
я забыл,
как дышать на поверхности.
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

#extradirty
hello vonnie
Xuebing Du
todays bird

Love Begins

pixel skylines
YOU ARE THE REASON
Jules of Nature

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Fai_Ryy

izzy's playlists!
Not today Justin


Discoholic 🪩
Noah Kahan
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

seen from India
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seen from United States
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seen from United States

seen from Malaysia

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seen from Türkiye
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@hameauntal
заметки на полях:
легкость - это не отсутствие глубины.
это отсутствие страха утонуть.
я забыл,
как дышать на поверхности.

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"Do you ever dream of land?" The whale asks the tuna.
"No." Says the tuna, "Do you?"
"I have never seen it." Says the whale, "but deep in my body, I remember it."
"Why do you care," says the tuna, "if you will never see it."
"There are bones in my body built to walk through the forests and the mountains." Says the whale.
"They will disappear." Says the tuna, "one day, your body will forget the forests and the mountains."
"Maybe I don't want to forget," Says the whale, "The forests were once my home."
"I have seen the forests." Whispers the salmon, almost to itself.
"Tell me what you have seen," says the whale.
"The forests spawned me." Says the salmon. "They sent me to the ocean to grow. When I am fat with the bounty of the ocean, I will bring it home."
"Why would the forests seek the bounty of the oceans?" Asks the whale. "They have bounty of their own."
"You forget," says the salmon, "That the oceans were once their home."
Last year I finally had an excuse to illustrate this simple little Tumblr story I've had bookmarked forever for class.
I hope you like it :]
Les réponses impatiemment attendues arrivent toujours quand on n'est pas chez soi.
- La dame aux camélias, Alexandre Dumas fils
oh, i am finally old enough to know why my parents took so long to grab their coats. why they would ask us to get ready to go only to sit down for another round of coffee. what would i tell myself, at 10 years old? it’s okay. sit down with them too. take in the extra hour with your friend and her family. when you get home, write down every moment in your diary. one day you will be older and you will be waving goodbye to your best friend, and you will turn the key to start your beat up little car engine, and you will look back over your shoulder. her hair will be blowing in the wind and she will be beautiful and you will be, for a moment, struck by all of it. what you will feel is so wide and nameless that it will engulf you. and you will think of being 14 and kicking her under the table in math every time you wanted to whisper something behind the teacher’s back. you will think about how long the days felt, and how you could hold her hand whenever you wished, but you didn’t. and you will think about all of the people you could have lingered with. and you will wish, more than you have ever felt a wish, that the universe just gave you that - more time to linger. more time to say - i love you. i know i need to leave, but i don’t want to leave you. and when i go, i am leaving a piece of my heart that lingers too.
one more round of coffee. the days are so short, and you are so lovely.
“The number of hours we have together is actually not so large. Please linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving. Please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it.” (mikko harvey)
I drew a little something for the Hiveworks micro comic summer~
It's time! Today is the day. Share the comic you've been working on all summer with the tag #MicroComicSummer

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In December last year I danced salsa for the first time in over 6 years. And I realised how much I missed it, how much it healed me just an hour of dancing salsa with a group of people. I decided that I had to dance again.
I remembered dancing with hundreds of people and how it looked like a tide, everyone going on and off with similar rythm, just like long distance trains in Russia, when the tide invokes lunch or rest and we all do it in small waves, one after the other.
When I started dancing salsa, many many years ago, it was the physical contact I needed, because I need physical contact and I was alone in a big city so once a week, I had hugs, and held hands, and things were easier.
And I have spent over a year trying to get back to salsa. I have managed to dance other things, like swing or folklore. But they don't reach the same spot, even if it's dancing.
Finally, I found salsa the way we used to have it, the way it was when I lived in Madrid. There were fewer people and only a couple I knew.
When I went there weekly, if I missed it one week, people would tell me they missed me last time, they asked what had happened.
This time, they greeted me as if I hadn't been gone at all. Of course me and them would be at a salsa event like this. This is where we meet. This is what we share. We are not friends and we just met last week, didn't we.
have you seen Edward Field’s 1961 poem about his telephone? it’s very charming, look:
twenty years across the sea
There was this woman poet in 4th century China called Su Hui (蘇蕙), a child genius who had reportedly mastered Chinese characters by age 3.
At 21 years old, heartbroken by her husband who left her for another woman, she decided to encode her feelings in a structure so intricate, so beautiful, so intellectually staggering that it still baffles scholars to this day.
Came to be known as the Xuanji Tu (璇璣圖) - the "Star Gauge" or "Map of the Armillary Sphere" - it's a 29 by 29 grid of 841 characters that can produce over 4,000 different poems.
Read it forward. Read it backward. Read it horizontally, vertically, diagonally. Read it spiraling outward from the center. Read it in circles around the outer edge. Each path through the grid produces a different poem - all of them coherent, all of them beautiful, all of them rhyming, all of them expressing variations on the same themes of longing, betrayal, regret, and undying love.
The outer ring of 112 characters forms a single circular poem - believed to be both the first and longest of its kind ever written. The interior grid produces 2,848 different four-line poems of seven characters each. In addition, there are hundreds of other smaller and longer poems, depending on the reading method.
At the center a single character she left implied but unwritten: 心 (xin) - "heart." Later copyists would add it explicitly, but in Su Hui's original the meaning was even more beautiful: 4,000 poems, all orbiting the space where her heart used to be.
Take for instance the outer red grid of the Star Gauge. Starting from the top right corner and reading down, you get this seven-character quatrain:
仁智懷德聖虞唐,
貞志篤終誓穹蒼,
欽所感想妄淫荒,
心憂增慕懷慘傷。
In pinyin, it is:
Rén zhì huái dé shèng yú táng,
zhēnzhì dǔ zhōng shì qióng cāng,
qīn suǒ gǎnxiǎng wàng yín huāng,
xīn yōu zēng mù huái cǎn shāng.
Notice how it rhymes? táng / cāng / huāng / shāng
The rough translation in English is: "The benevolent and wise cherish virtue, like the sage-kings Yao and Shun, With steadfast will I swear to the heavens above, What I revere and feel - how could it be wanton or dissolute? My heart's sorrow grows, longing brings only grief."
Now read it from the bottom to the top and you get this entirely different seven-character quatrain:
傷慘懷慕增憂心,
荒淫妄想感所欽,
蒼穹誓終篤志貞,
唐虞聖德懷智仁。
The pinyin:
Shāng cǎn huái mù zēng yōu xīn,
huāngyín wàngxiǎng gǎn suǒ qīn,
cāngqióng shì zhōng dǔzhì zhēn,
táng yúshèngdé huái zhì rén.
It rhymes too: xīn and qīn, zhēn and rén
And the meaning is just as beautiful and coherent: "Grief and sorrow, longing fills my worried heart, Wanton and dissolute fantasies - is that what you revere? I swear to the heavens my constancy is true, May we embody the sage-kings' virtue, wisdom, and benevolence."
That's just 2 poems out of the over 4,000 you can construct from the Xuanji Tu!
At the very center of the grid, the 8 red characters wrapped around the central heart, she "signed" her poem with a hidden message:
詩圖璇玑,始平蘇氏。 "The poem-picture of the Armillary Sphere, by Su of Shiping."
Or reversed:
蘇氏詩圖,璇玑始平。 "Su's poem-picture - the Armillary Sphere begins in peace."
Many scholars, and even emperors, throughout Chinese history have been completely obsessed by Su Hui's puzzle.
For instance, in the Ming dynasty, a scholar named Kang Wanmin (康萬民) devoted his entire life to the poems (kangshiw.com/contents/461/2…), ending up documenting twelve different reading methods - forward, backward, diagonal, radiating, corner-to-corner, spiraling - and extracting 4,206 poems. His book on the subject ("Reading Methods for the Xuanji Tu Poems", 璇璣圖詩讀法) runs to hundreds of pages.
Empress Wu Zetian herself, the legendary woman emperor of the Tang dynasty, wrote a preface to the Xuanji Tu around 692 CE (baike.baidu.com/item/%E7%BB%87…).
Incredibly, there's even far more complexity to the Xuanji Tu than just the poems:
- The name 璇玑 (Xuanji) - Armillary Sphere - is astronomical in meaning and the way the poems can be read mirrors the way celestial bodies orbit around a fixed center. It's a model of the heavens.
- Her original work, with the characters woven on silk brocade, was in five colors (red, black, blue/green, purple, and yellow) which correspond to the Five Elements (五行) - the foundational Chinese philosophical system that explains how the universe operates. So it's also a model of the entire cosmic order according to ancient Chinese philosophy.
- It's also of course deeply mathematical with this 29 x 29 perfect square grid, with sub-squares, lines and rectangles, and a structure which allows for symmetrical reading patterns in all directions
- Last but not least, the content of the poems themselves contain multiple registers. On top of expressing her personal grief and longing for her husband, it's also filled with accusations against the concubine (Zhao Yangtai) he left her for, reflections on politics (with many references to sage-kings) and philosophical reflections.
So the Star Gauge is simultaneously:
- A love letter (expressing personal longing)
- A legal brief (arguing her case against her rival)
- A cosmological model (structured like the heavens)
- A Five Element diagram (encoding the fundamental structure of the world according to ancient Chinese philosophy)
- A mathematical construction with perfect symmetry and precision
And yet, for all this complexity, we should not forget this was all ultimately in service of the simplest human message imaginable: a 21-year-old woman asking the love of her life "come back to me".
Her husband did, eventually. According to what empress Wu Zetian herself wrote in her preface to the Xuanji Tu, when he received Su's brocade he was so "moved by its supreme beauty" that he sent away his concubine and returned to his wife. As the story goes, they lived together until old age.
The heart at the center was filled after all.
poetry is so fun man. i've been reading this bilingual edition (italian and spanish) of petrarca's canzionere before bed and i'm out here at midnight on a wednesday night giggling and clapping over a rhyme scheme
this is the poem i was talking about last night !!!! you don't need to know italian just see the last word of every verse
and here's the spanish translation that also does that same rhyme scheme :)

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Lo inevitable
Soñé contigo, José Manuel.
Eras guapo y encantador, como decían.
Estabas hecho polvo aunque no lo parecía.
Me hablaste de tu novia.
Todo estaba bien. Fingías.
La querías mucho.
Eran las fiestas del pueblo, de un pueblo, de un barrio.
Eran las fiestas y te divertías.
Estaban tus amigos. Entrabas y salías.
No podía parar lo inevitable.
Me apreciaste, me quisiste. Te hizo ilusión. Como si te hubieran prohibido verme, aunque me criaste.
El olor de la nostalgia y el arrepentimiento, el tiempo pasado...
Entrabas y salías.
Te hablé de Lucas. Sabía que no te vería más. Te enseñé fotos.
"Se parece a mí" lloraste, te ilusionaste, te entristeciste y reíste. Como un yonki desubicado, que es lo que eras en mi sueño.
Y te fuiste.
Eran las fiestas. Estaban tus amigos. Entrabas y salías.
No podía parar lo inevitable.
I know for a fact that my stepmother loves me.
I know it for a fact because the vaccine for the sleeping sickness came out when I was ten, and she cried. When she was a kid, parents would have Sleep Overs whenever someone caught it, in the hopes of spread it around - children were statistically more likely to be woken up by "True Love's Kiss" from a parent or family member, after all, whereas if you caught it when you were older, things got more complicated and if you were old, you might be the last one in your family left.
(There’s more to it than that, I know, I've tried reading the papers, but I barely passed biocurse with a C+, and don't even get me started on organic curses. Those two classes were enough to kill any hope I had of becoming a fairy godperson.)
So, when the vaccine against the sleeping sickness came out, my stepmother cried, and my father got me on the list right away; I wasn't high priority, after all; I was young, there wasn't an active outbreak in my school district, and I was otherwise healthy. But they put me on the backup list anyway, so if there was one, just one available, I could get it.
When the fairy godperson's office called, my dad was at work, but my stepmother bundled me up and drove there so fast I thought we were going to be pulled over. (Later, I found out that she'd gotten an automated ticket from one of the red light cameras, a fact that she hid from both me and my dad.) They called my dad, of course, and he left work, but he also gave the okay for my stepmother to be my medical proxy in case he was delayed.
Vaccines don't last forever, and it was decided that I would be given it without him there. At 100 minutes, my stepmother would try kissing my forehead, and if it didn't work, the office would set me up for the 100 hours it would take before my dad could try.
Magic can't be ignored, but it can be tricked.
It didn't matter. At 100 minutes post-vaccine, my stepmother kissed my forehead and I woke up.
So. I know she loves me.
Each spring, my daughter returns from the underworld ice-cold and frost-hard. The only light in her is the cheap reflection of gold, shining against the shadow of death. I show her the sun again, but it’s hard for her to thaw— she freezes the new buds in the night many times before she finally lets them bloom.
She can’t bear, at first, to let the sun kiss her cheeks, knowing she must lose the spring again. But she learns, and she laughs, as the days lengthen and shorten.
And then my daughter returns to the darkness, and winter comes again.
Rosalie
Rosalie,
Comment elle était ta vie ?
As-tu connu le repos ?
As-tu pu tomber malade et qu'on s'en occupe ?
As-tu aimé ton mari ?
Rosalie,
Tu ne sais pas lire
mais tu sais trouver
C'est dans le présent que tu vis
Toujours pratique,
Rosalie.
Dans ta vieillesse,
Auras-tu des amis ?
Où habiteras tu ? Avec ton fils?
Pourras-tu enfin guérir ?
Mais pas
J’aime la compagnie qu’il m’offre
mais pas maintenant
Pas ici, en tout cas, et pas demain.
Ce que j’aime est qu’il me voit
mais pas lointaine, pas soudaine.
Pas voir comme il est triste, mais son regard,
je l’aime.
À l’égard de ses caresses, j’aime.
J’aime qu’il ait du caractère
mais pas sa haine.
J’aime sa présence, un jour, comme au hasard.
J’aime savoir qu’il m’aime,
mais pas comme ça.

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Imagine if people only worked six months out of the year. Half the people would be winter workers who choose to grind through the dark months and then chill and play during the summer, and half of the people would be ones who would rather work through the warm season and then rest and hibernate in peace over the winter, more or less free to choose whichever you like.
There would be families with a strong identity about which season they work in, and people who say that someone "has only ever worked one season" as a way to imply that someone isn't adventurous by nature. There would be parents who agree to take turns working opposite seasons, so one of them can always be at home with the kids, and old folks who lament that their adult children and niblings were Forced By Circumstance to work opposite seasons from them, while the youths in question welcome the work as an excuse to avoid these inconvenient relatives.
You never know if the construction worker up at 6 am in the summer spends their winters writing murder mysteries, or if the winter shift librarian spends their summer cultivating a rare breed of heirloom apples. Or simply meditating, observing nature, living quietly and baking bread. Asking someone "what do you do in your free season?" tells as much, if not more, about the person than "what do you do for a living?" And nobody answers "nothing". Everyone can think of something that they want to do, perhaps not productive, but still enlightening, constructive and cultivating.
Nobody who is in full health and well rested can stand spending half of the year simply doing absolutely nothing.
In grammar, perfect tenses are those who define a finished action. According to grammar, anything that is finished is perfect, and anything that is in progress in imperfect. Imperfect tenses are necessary to speak of progress, to describe a situation, to adorn with details.
I leave many things unfinished, imperfect. I get tired, or don't know how to end them, or forget they were there.
They are useful like that too. Just like in grammar, unfinished things have their purpose, even if it is only to accompany in imperfect times.