futurama ( 1999 - 2013 ) sentence starters ↪ taken from the animated science fiction show. alter as you see fit ♡
“let’s get the hell out of here already! screw history!”
“when you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all.”
“you have to use a light touch, like a safecracker or a pickpocket.”
"stop! the spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.“
"she’s stuck in an infinite loop and he’s an idiot. that’s love for you.”
“all i know is my gut says maybe.”
“i’ve never seen a super nova blow up. but if it’s anything like my old chevy nova, it’ll light up the night sky!”
“every christmas my mom would get a fresh goose, for goose-burgers, and my dad would whip up special eggnog out of bourbon and ice cubes.”
“what do i look like, a guy who’s not lazy?”
“is heaven missing an angel, cuz you’ve got nice cans!”
“help! a guinea pig tricked me!“
”[name], if i said you said you had a beautiful body, would you take your pants off and dance around a little.“
"drugs are for weirdos and hypnosis is for weirdos with big eyebrows."
”[name], it would never work between us. you’re a man, and i’m a woman. we’re just too different.“
“screw you, ill have my own contest. with black jack … and hookers. forget the contest.”
“ah, she’s built like a steakhouse but she handles like a bistro.”
"spare me your space age techno babble, [name].”
"it’s sort of a two person pyramid scheme.”
“i don’t want to live on this planet anymore.”
“you were doing well, until everyone died.”
“if we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. checkmate.”
“i am the man with no name. [muse name], at your service.”
“in the game of chess, you can never let your adversary see your pieces.”
“this is the worst kind of discrimination, the kind against me.”
“you watched it… you can’t unwatch it.”
“valentine’s day is coming? aw crap! i forgot to get a girlfriend again!”
"hold on to your dookie, it’s about to get spooky!“
"i’m tired of this room and everyone in it.”
“i’m so embarrassed. i wish everyone else was dead.”
“you can’t just have your characters announce how they feel! that makes me feel angry!”
“i don’t have emotions, and sometimes that makes me very sad.”
“if, for any reason you’re not satisfied, i hate you.”
“that young man fills me with hope. plus some other emotions which are weird and deeply confusing."
"i’ve dreamed about you a lot since you disappeared. what did you want to tell me?"
"what do you think the meaning of life was anyway?”
“you’re a pimple on society’s ass and you’ll never amount to anything!”
“life and death are a seamless continuum.”
“if anyone wants me, i’ll be in the angry dome.”
“and the worst part is, i had to have the breakup sex by myself!”
“they said i was dumb, but i proved them.”
“what’s the point of living if i can’t say ass?”
“i’ll be stuffing coal so far down your stocking you’ll be coughing up diamonds!”
“we’re all pawns in his diabolical game of checkers.”
“wait, i’m having one of those things, a headache, with pictures!”
“sorry, i didn’t realize i was already here.”
“guess what you’re an accessory to!”
“why does ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other friends?”
“there’s no scientific consensus that life is important.”
“we cooked our shoes in the dryer and ate them! now we’re bored!”
“i’m just as important as him. it’s just that, the kind of importance i have … it doesn’t matter if i don’t do it.”
“oh what a foolish squid i’ve been.”
“my instinct is to hide in this barrel, like the wily fish.”
“that was bad, and you should feel bad!”
“technically correct - the best kind of correct!”
“and here is where i keep my assorted lengths of wire!”
“oh wait, you are serious! let me laugh even harder!”
“i gotta practice my stabbing!”
“that’s the saltiest thing i’ve ever tasted! and i once ate a big, heaping bowl of salt!”
“i apologize for nothing!”
"die young and leave a beautiful corpse! that’s what i always say.“
"here’s to another lousy millennium.”
“but i am already in my pajamas.”
“windmills do not work that way. goodnight.”
“you win again gravity.”
“when push comes to shove, you got to do what you love, even if it’s not a good idea.”
“but existing’s basically all i do!”
“when will the killing end?”
“i’ll be whatever i want to do.”
“the use of words expressing something other than their literal intention. now that. is. irony.”
“could you ask a little more sexfully?”
“hooray! i’m useful!”
“awesome. awesome to the max.”
“some breaking occurred, the dolly was involved, that’s about all we know.”
“you want me to do two things?”
i love stealin’, i love takin’ things!
“i believe that qualifies as ill. at least from a technical standpoint.”
“that was the old me. he’s dead now.”
“jail ain’t so bad; you can make sangria in the toilet. ‘course, it’s shank or be shanked.”
“one word. thundercougarfalconbird.”
“of all my friends, you’re the first.”
“girls like swarms of lizards, right?”
“i lost it. in a volcano.”
“i’m gonna get you so many lizards!”
“who needs courage when you have a gun?”
“let’s go! i’ve got jelly in my underpants!”
“interesting if true.”
“i did do the nasty in the pasty!”
“something tells me i could easily beat those trained professionals.”
“the two of you are good friends? but i thought we would be good friends!”
“it’s like a party in my mouth, except everyone’s throwing up.”
“i’m shocked. shocked! well, not that shocked.”
“it’s me! no one else look in this mirror!“
“you ever think you only like girls cause you’re supposed to?”
"we don’t gotta put up with this! we got poli sci degrees.”
“sorry, i suffer from a very sexy learning disorder.”
“did somebody say something about a free hot meal?”
“you gotta do what you gotta do.”
“too many bones? not enough cash?”
“hey sexy mama, wanna kill all humans?”
“i don’t know how you did that.”
“the butter in my pocket is melting!”
“well … first i got up and had a piece of toast …”
“i can’t wait til i’m old enough to feel ways about stuff.”
“interesting! no … wait … the other thing. tedious.”
“i knew you come crawling back, like a bird on its belly!”
“we both know you won’t make it halfway before the craving sets in! then you’ll come crawling back for another taste of sweet sweet candy. bam!“
“indeed so, most indeededly.”
"and by metaphorically, i mean get your coat.”
“[vehicle]’s ready except for this cup holder, and i should have that done in 12 hours.“
"stop. stop! i will destroy you.” [ bonus if the receiver is doing something mundane to sender ]
“just make a simple cake. and this time, if someone’s going to jump out of it, make sure to put them in after you cook it.”
“lies, lies and slander!”
“you raised my hopes and dashed them quite expertly, sir!”
“but going through a divorce together, you can’t pretend that didn’t bring us closer together.”
“when you say the human body is the most efficient thing to use as a battery, wouldn’t anything make a better battery? like a potato? or a battery?”
“i’ll have you know that i bejazzle my own underpants!”
“i’m sorry you had to see that, [name], usually i let my sadness fester quietly inside as a mental illness.”
“i’m not drunk, i’m mentally ill! but i agree with what, what you said.”
“this is a cool way to die!”
