the last day i saw you, the day i broke up with you for the last time, you looked so handsome i just wanted to melt in your arms. but i also felt so far from you, i couldn’t bring myself to even hug you one last time. there was so much distance between us and I couldn’t figure out how to close it. i just felt so tired, so so tired of fighting so hard to be with you. and i was happy you were taking care of yourself but the distance was just too much now. i could have put in the effort to fix things but i just didn’t see the point anymore. my parents were never going to agree.

you told me that you could smell my perfume on your pillow after i left and that you didn’t wanna wash it. you asked me which perfume it was and i told you names of the two i had brought with me. you went and smelled them at the store and told me that wasn’t what the smell. and that i have always smelled like this, it’s probably just my smell.

you came just to see me. you went out of your way to arrange a work meeting just to see me. when i came to pick you up, you called me up to your hotel room and i went up even though you could’ve just come down. when you opened the door and i saw you for the first time in 6 years, you weren’t a little boy anymore. you were a man and i felt a twinge in my heart.