King of Nosehairs

“Alright, I think I got one.”

“Excuse you, but the only ‘F’ word is ‘fun.’“

“Peri, why do I feel like I’m the only one giving us a chance?

“Psst!”

Maya is alerted to the hissing noise coming from the dark alley she walks past. Sliding out from the alley while still slightly submerged in the shadows, wearing a long trench coat with a long, popped collar to conceal his identity, was Bo-bobo.

Hey, how’d you guess?!

The bright yellow afro was a dead giveaway...*ahem* Anyhow, Bo-bob-I mean, the totally mysterious stranger addressed the spirit medium from the entrance of the alley.

“It’s good to see you again kid...Been keepin’ your nose clean?” He sighs, his expression of guilt hidden in shadow. “Look, I know you wanted to peaceful life, but you and I both know we’re too deep into this. Something...something came up. Take a look.”

The stranger drops a mysterious file on the floor and kicks it over to Maya. Its contents spill out of the folder. I’m not certain, but...

The doorbell resounds through the house. The owner answers the call, but there is not a single person in sight when she swings the door open. Instead, she finds a giant coconut cream pie, nearly the size of the woman answering the door, sitting mysteriously and imposingly (not to mention deliciously) on her porch.  A note leans against the large pan containing the pie. It reads as follows:

Harley,

Bring me inside. I’m delicious, I swear.

                         - Totally A. Pie.

Bullies came in all shapes and forms, but the general consensus of educational programming was that they were big and ugly. Boy, they certainly didn’t get bigger and uglier than the monstrosities that were menacing the cityfolk. As the defender of all the little nerds, Bo-bobo, who was currently masquerading as Cool Cat, couldn’t let their pranks slide. Flooding a sector with poisonous gas was totally not cool.

Bo-bobo could feel his nosehairs itching to get out, but were constricted by the disguise. Now that the previous threat of the locals was neutralize, he was able to unleash his inner beast. Bo-bobo grabs hold of his Cool Cat costume and completely tears it apart. His nosehairs zip out of his nostrils as he lets out a mighty battle cry.

“Time for this Cool Cat to let out his claws! Bullies beware Bo-bobo’s brutal beatings!”

Bo-bobo plucks one of his nosehairs out of his nostril and begins tying it into a makeshift lasso. He begins twirling it above his head, his eyes trained on the neck of the mighty beast. According to several sources that may or may no exists, no one wrangled ‘em quite like Bo-bobo. With impeccable accuracy and unparalleled might, Bo-bobo threw the nosehair lasso at the Reaper...

...Only for it to unceremoniously fall not too far from him. What did you expect? The Reaper isn’t anywhere close to him.

“Damn, my one weakness! Depth perception!”

Bo-bobo rushed to retrieve the lasso, but skid to a halt when he noticed mechanical beasts begin to crowd toward him. Bo-bobo steeled himself and his nosehairs for an ensuing fight, but the numbers were concerning. He needed a trusted ally...That’s when he noticed a skeleton in fashionable attire walk by.

Agrizoophobia: Our muses encounter a wild animal.

Hunting could be a dangerous and arduous hobby. One could never be sure if their next encounter with a ferocious beast could be their last. Of course, one could derive a sort of daredevil excitement from the looming threat. With an Elmer Fudd-style hunting cap precariously balanced on his ‘fro, Bo-bobo set out in the wild yonder with hunting buddy in tow, ready to take on whatever dangers lied ahead.

“Alright, Papyrus,” Bo-bobo says in a hushed tone. “We should be getting closer–Shh, shh!” Bo-bobo beckons the Guard-in-Training to take cover behind a nearby bush with him. “It’s right there!” Bo-bobo’s hands clam up as he contemplates his next move. One false step and the catch of the century could slip from his grasp. Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, he looks to his hunting partner and nods. “Alright, here goes.”

He leaps out of the bush, phone in hand.

“You’re not getting away from me, Dragonite!”

His pointer finger expertly flicks across the smartphone’s screen, the virtual capsule flinging toward the Dragonite. The Poke Ball directly hits its target. Bo-bob bit his bottom lip as he stared anxiously at the screen.

One shake…Two shakes…A sudden stop. The Dragonite bursts out of the Poke Ball. Bo-bobo falls to his knees, slamming his fist against the undergrowth of the forest.

“Nooooo! That was my last Poke Ball! Lady Blanche, how could you forsake me?!”

Just as Bo-bobo wallows in self-pity, a beautiful, majestic deer arrives on the scene. Truly any nature buff would have loved to gaze upon such a captivating creature. Bo-bobo, however, wasn’t havin’ that shit.

“Get outta here, ya dumb animal! Stantler isn’t even Gen 1!”

Iatrophobia:My muse accompanies yours to a doctor’s appointment.

Bo-bobo childishly pouts as he sits in the lounge, arms folded and legs swinging. “I hate it here,” he whines. “They’re not even playing any of the good shows on TV! You better treat me to McDonalds after this! I want a Double Quarter Pounder!”

If only Bo-bobo didn’t completely tower over Peridot she would likely sock him in the face. Despite acting like he was dragged here against his will, it was his idea to bring her to the doctor’s against her own volition. All because he saw her trip as he was certain the ensuing minor scrape warranted a doctor’s visit. Such over-protectiveness could almost be seen as endearing if a.) it wasn’t Bo-bobo and b.) she WASN’T A GEM. What good could a human doctor do her?!

After what felt like a millennia of waiting, a nurse finally calls their name. Bo-bobo grabs Peridot by the hand and forcibly drags her to the nurse.

“Please, nurse! Give it to me straight…Is there a cure? Will my wife make it out alright?!”

She’s. Not. His. WIFE!

The nurse blinks. “Uhm, sir, your uh, wife…isn’t ill. In fact, I’m not even sure she can get sick–”

Before she could finish, Bo-bobo scoops Peridot up and swings her around. Tears stream from beneath his sunglasses. “You hear that?! You’re gonna be okay!” He randomly drops her on her bum and turns back to the nurse, slamming his hand on the counter.

Agateophobia: Your muse thinks they're going crazy, and mine is trying to talk them down.

Agliophobia: My muse nurses yours after an injury.

Agrizoophobia: Our muses encounter a wild animal.

Amnesiphobia: Your muse has forgotten mine, and mine is trying to make yours remember.

Angrophobia: My muse is furious at your muse.

Anthrophobia: My muse brings yours flowers.

Arsonphobia: Our muses are trapped in a burning building.

Asthenophobia: Your muse passes out in my muse's arms.

Atychiphobia: My muse comforts yours after a (real or perceived) failure.

Brontophobia: Our muses are caught in a storm together.

Catagelophobia: Your muse catches mine doing something embarrassing.

Chionophobia: Fluffy drabble about our muses playing in the snow.

Chorophobia: Our muses dance together.

Chrometophobia: My muse helps yours out of a financial crisis, or vice-versa.

Chronophobia: AU drabble about our muses in a different time era.

Cibophobia: My muse cooks a meal for yours.

Cleptophobia: Your muse steals something from mine.

Coimetrophobia: My muse visits your muse's grave.

Coitophobia: A smutty drabble about our muses.

Cyberphobia: Our muses talk in a chat room, but don't realize their chat partners are each other.

Dikephobia: My muse is pressing criminal charges against yours.

Dipsophobia: Our muses drinking together.

Ergophobia: My muse hires yours to work for them.

Gamophobia: Our muses get married.

Gerascophobia: Our muses meet each other forty years from now.

Gymnophobia: My muses accidentally sees yours naked.

Iatrophobia: My muse accompanies yours to a doctor's appointment.

Limnophobia: Your muse saves mine from drowning.

Lockiophobia: Our muses have a baby together.

Macrophobia: Our muses are waiting for something bad, and trying to distract each other from the thought.

Mastigophoiba: My muse punishes yours for something (either smutty or angsty, specify).

Melophobia: My muse performs a song for yours.

Merinthophobia: My muse finds yours tied or chained up.

Metrophobia: My muse writes a poem for yours.

Necrophobia: My muse just found out that yours has died.

Nosemaphobia: Your muse is ill, and mine is taking care of them.

Oneirophobia: My muse has a dream about yours.

Phasmophobia: Your muse is visited by my muse's ghost.

Soceraphobia: Your muse meets my muse's parents.

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