The wind is rising, we must try to live

Roy's fatalism

For someone who is supposedly an idealist Roy sure has a fatalist view of life.

In the OVA "Yet another man's battlefield", Roy tells Hughes that he wants to defend his country and doesn't care if he dies doing so. To which Hughes replies that he doesn't want to die for the sake of anything (ironic, I know). Two years later, when Riza asks Roy not to die, he responds that he can't guarantee he won't die like a piece of trash on the sideway.

You could argue that Roy is being realistic, but I disagree. Roy is after all an idealist by his own admission, and this fatalistic POV is a complete contradiction to the naive way in which he regards his role as a soldier — as a protector rather than as a murderer, which Kimblee later calls out during Ishval. Not to mention that this is unusually pessimistic coming from a young person. See the way Hughes, Heathcliff, and even Riza talk about their own goals in the military. None of them is constantly reaffirming their own mortality.

Perhaps, this comes from Roy's Alchemist nature— from the deep ingrained belief of equivalent exchange. Perhaps, it comes from the characters' unknown past. Whatever the reason, there's no denying that to Roy his own life is something he is willing to trade off for the greater good. By this I doesn't mean he is suicidal. He is not. What I mean is that for Roy everything else comes before his own survival, and this is something that reflects in much more than just his speech.

Roy's reckless fighting style

We all remember Riza sweeping in to Roy's rescue when he's about to fight Scar under the rain. This is not an accident or him just being forgetful. Roy is actually arrogant to the point of recklessness when it comes to his own abilities. He's the sort of person that stages an intricate plan to rescue one soldier from execution, and then marches himself right into the wolf's mouth because he is THAT confident he can deal with any repercussions.

Which… he is not, but he has good reasons to believe he is.

It is easy to overlook because the main characters are alchemists, but Alchemy is very rare and powerful in the world of FMA. It is the sole reason Amestris is a superpower despite being such a small country. In the manga (not so much in Brotherhood), we are constantly reminded that normal people don't understand Alchemy, and the State Alchemists are dehumanized, often compared to human weapons, monsters, and/or gods.

Roy's alchemy, in particular, is extremely dangerous. Even among the Homunculi, there are few individuals that can stand up to the might of Roy's full power. This is why he believes himself invincible. Ishval taught Roy the strength of Flame alchemy, and the horrors it can cause in the wrong hands. As its wielder this makes Roy powerful and dangerous.

A monster among humans.

As such in Roy's mind he's an invincible monster whose life is unimportant when compared to his goals and the life of those he's sworn to protect. This is why for Roy facing actual monsters (the Homunculi) is such a humbling and humanizing experience. This is why he tells Riza:

Now you see why Roy marches forward recklessly and without hesitation. It's a combination of his lack of self-worth, and the knowledge that he wields a power few people can match.

But Roy's lack of self-preservation goes even beyond his speech and fighting style.

Roy's lifestyle

This mentality that he is a monster whose only purpose is to serve others permeates Roy's lifestyle. The idea that Riza is the stern one that takes her job too seriously and that Roy is the frivolous one that prefers to enjoy life is hilariously ironic. The narrative shows us almost the opposite story.

We see Riza out doing groceries on her day off. We see her shopping clothes with Rebecca. We see her taking Hayate out for walks. We see her having a shower after work and putting on comfy clothes at home. We see her having a life outside of the military, even if adjacent to it.

In the meantime, Roy is always in the office. He sleeps in the break room. He cleans himself in the public restroom. He eats in the mess hall. Badly so at times as we get a comment about his weight from Armstrong. When he goes out on dates or to drink, we are shown he's actually gathering intel. The one time we see him in his apartment he's sleeping on the goddamn couch still in his crumpled uniform.

There are no comfy Pjs in his home. No long showers. No pets to keep him company. No days off with his friends.

And this all makes sense, because monsters that only exist to protect others don't need comfort.

They need to make themselves useful.

When Riza tells Roy to think more of himself. When Riza tells Ed that Roy will pay the price alone and make sure his subordinates escape punishment. When Arakawa jokes that Riza needs to remind Roy how to take care of himself. It is because Roy has never bothered to keep himself alive beyond what's needed to fulfill his duties, and Riza knows it.

Roy is a barely functional human disaster with zero sense of self-preservation. The only reason he's alive is because he's had people like Hughes (vs Heathcliff), Riza (so many times), and even the Elrics (vs gluttony) sweep in and save his ass every time he's about to kick the bucket.

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I have some theories and headcanons about why Roy might have ended up being this way. I will maybe post them on a later date.

At last (!) I was able to finish this piece, definitely took me longer than I intended, but at least I am satisfied with the result. Technically it is a continuation of my other piece right here, but it can viewed as a stand-alone thing too.