the pillow book

[Lydia]: What’s wrong with him?

today while [i was] listening to Matt & Kim podcast, mom said that Kim’s laugh is almost exactly the same as mine.

Here’s a really random thought: I feel secure around my friends who are paired up with significant others. Because there is no more expectation, that there might be anything between us except friendship. The thing is that I am an aromantic, so I don’t form/want romantic relationships with other people. And when there are single friends in my group, some of them might get an idea that they would like to date me. And i don’t do dating. So someone could get hurt potentially, or we might just stop being friends. So now that the amount of single friends is reduced to minimum, I’m strangely happy for them and me at the same time. Weird, right? 

I mean, I still have crushes, but I know for sure they won’t lead anywhere (because I don’t want them to and also don’t desire it at all), but I cannot do anything about other people. I’m not even attractive or that interesting, but people still have some ideas about me. And all I want is stability (read peace) and security.