I was thinking about this post again and how people say we need to teach our boys and men to be better. So if you, like me, are a guy who’s horrified by everything you’ve just read, heres some things i was taught to make the women (and everyone else!) around you feel safer
1. If you’re on a dark and quiet street, stay out of other peoples personal space. If you have to pass someone, ideally cross the road to do so but if you can’t, give them a wide berth. (think keeping 6 feet apart from COVID regulations) If you’re coming up behind someone, make some kind of noise so you don’t accidentally sneak up on them. Cough or talk on the phone.
2. Don’t accidentally follow people. If you’ve noticed you’ve made the same few turns as someone, they probably have as well. Take a detour or cross the road. If you come out of somewhere like a bus stop with a few other people, walk quickly so you get in front of them.
3. Where possible, don’t approach random women for help. This is a known kidnapping technique. Approach a friendly looking man or call someone you know/emergency services.
4. Get Consent. There is no situation where you are entitled to someone else’s body. To elaborate on this, you need Enthusiastic consent. If she says yes but shes drunk, or you had to guilt her into it, or she said it reluctantly, or her body language says no, then that’s not consent. This concept applies to plenty of nonsexual situations as well.
5. Look after your female friends. Offer to walk them home. You may not think you can do a lot but another person being there could be enough to put off a would be attacker (I’m a massive softie but im sure my 6'2" silhouette would make someone think before messing with my 5'7" friend) Get in the habit of asking them to text you when they get home safe and other similar measures like location sharing if they are comfortable with that.
6. Be patient and understanding of the things women have to do to stay safe. Don’t be offended if your date has to send a photo of you/your license plates to her friend. Don’t complain that your friend always wants you to walk her home. An inconvenience to you could mean life or death to her. Take your friends’ concerns seriously. If they tell you they feel unsafe they probably are and you should do what you can to get them out of that situration
7. Finally, read all the self defence tips above and take them seriously. Your maleness does not make you immune to these kind of attacks, even if they are mainly targetted at women. It never hurts to have a plan to keep yourself and those around you safe.
I hope this was helpful, and keep in mind these tips could apply to all genders and orientations, even though i’ve aimed it at straight men.
