This ain't no sham; I am what I am.

Thank you

It’s just the word “haste” with some extra fluff lol. It’s referencing the same song that my blog title does- “Not With Haste” by Mumford & Sons. I discovered the band when I was a teenager and severing ties with the religion I grew up in after realizing how much of my trauma stemmed from that religion. I never interpreted their lyrics through a Christian lens, even though many do (as intended, I believe). That song was just very hopeful to me in an incredibly difficult time when my depression was at its peak, I was old enough to understand the abuse I grew up in, and I was figuring out my sexuality and desperate to feel loved and unbroken and accepted and free and trying to figure out meaning and purpose amidst all the pain and confusion.

“This ain't no sham

I am what I am

I'll leave no time

For a cynic's mind

We will run and scream

You will dance with me

They'll fulfill our dreams

And we'll be free

And we will be who we are

And they'll heal our scars

Sadness will be far away

Do not let my fickle flesh go to waste

As it keeps my heart and soul in its place

And I will love with urgency