thinkmaxxing

YOU don’t have to be perfect to be loved. but I do

microfracturing my face with my hammer until i look like american actor, comedian, and filmmaker buster keaton

i cant ever find her…..but she always seems to find me

Y’all wanna know what like the BEST filling maybe of all time? Definitely of all time, the best feeling of all time is when - okay. You know the blent you smoked this morning? The one you woked up to roll. That one. Okay. And then but you only smoke half of it. Okay. And then you work all day long. You go to fuckin work, you do the fuckin job real fuckin good. You’re like-you’re the best. You do everything you boss asks of you. You are real fuckin cordial with your coworkers. All the customers love you. All these custies come in and they just like they think you’re the greatest. You’re the greatest of all time. You worked all day long. In theEeEnd, you come home, and you smoke the other half of that blent. That’s the greatest feeling ever ‘cause it’s just like so…it’s…this is some old-ass shit too! Like…I’m a grown-ass woman, I’m an adult. And this is my laife. That’s, theHEH, that’s the breakdown of my everyday life for y’all. It’s……incredible. My fat…my fat fabuhlous life. Iiii’m about to get so fucking high, too. Sooo hiiiigh. I’m gonna li-should I light it on camera? Should she light it on CAMERA? Hell yeah, she should light it on camera. Actually, I can’t because I gotta, um, I gotta use both of my hand. I’m using my hand to hold my phone. Oh my god, that’s not, uh, that’s not me, I’m not that fat. Speaking of that, I need to work out. But the thANG is is that I feel like I walk so much, like, living here, you knoooow. Like, I just can-I can’t. I don’t wanna work out. I wanna like - shit. I wanna, like, get back actIIIVE? Like, maybe, like…nobody wanna be in a…no one wanna do…no one wanna play with me. No one wanna play volleyball with me. No one wanna play fuckin nerd shit with me. Everybody I-Everybody I know just wanna get fucked up. I need some better friends. I need people who wanna do shit, you know? Like, I don’t wanna fuckin just get fucked up all the time. And like…that’s a waste of your laife. Like, I wanna be active. I wanna snowboooard or whatever. Oh my-I’m so high already, you guys. That’s the per-this is the perks of life.

If you call women "goonbait" you have to shoot yourself It doesn't get better for people of your kind

hey patrick can you see my feet

Yeah spongebob look at mine I’m facing the toilet

Patrick we have penises and were peeing with them

Excuse me ladies, everything you’ve just said about being spongbeob and Patrick and having penises you pee pee with has been echoed and amplified down the hall, were we are holding a Sunday school class. We all have heard what you’ve said about peeing towards the toilet with your penises, and I am just letting you know.

My manager was in the break room with me and she said 'I don't ever remember oranges being THIS hard to peel' and I just responded 'they're making them harder to peel' without thinking and she looked and me and said. Why?

god I just. love ruthlessness as a character trait so much. sexy sexy sexy

There are truly very few forces in the world as strong as the inertia of staying up way too late doing fuckall