sypnosis: Relationship or career? a pivotal decision that every successful person has to make someday. With a very promising career as a leader in the performance director team, Yeonjun takes a big leap in deciding that it would be best to leave the country, and you behind to expand his work. Was it the best decision? Of course not. But he hopes that someday, he can come running back to you and beg for forgiveness.
genre: angst, sad breakup, no happy ending (sorry), gn!reader
warnings: none i think!
word count: 1.4k words
note: inspired by Day and Night - Jung Seung Hwan (Start-up OST)! I recommend you listen to it while reading. You can also listen to Wave To Earth Songs like 'love.' and 'seasons' to fit the mood. see you at the end :)
y/n's pov
It was pouring on a Friday night. You looked below your window to watch young adults prancing around the street with their friends and loved ones, having the time of their lives as bars and clubs are starting to open their business for the night. You wished you could be there with your friends too, but here you are, too busy cooped up in your own little apartment, with the only heat that brought warmth to your aching, cold heart.
You sighed. Did you regret missing out on a fun night? Maybe. But it wasn't worth risking the likelihood of you getting pissed drunk wailing about how your ex-boyfriend broke up with you in the most meanest of ways.
'im sorry, im doing this for us.'
The last text he ever sent. To leave you behind. To leave the promising future of a young budding relationship behind.
Your cat pounced on your lap as you sat on the floor in between the couch and the coffee table.
"Jjunie baby, i'm sorry, I have to change your name soon. I hope you don't mind that. he won't be coming home anymore too. guess we are not good enough for him to stay.." you talked with 'jjunie', as you quietly start to tear up again.
Jjunie was your first cat you adopted with him. He claimed her as a promise ring to you; a promise that he wanted to grow old with Jjunie and you.
"Why my name? No no! It should be a combination of our name- y/n hey~!" he tried to convince and stop you from writing down the adopted cat's name as his nickname, as you saw that it deemed fit to name a cat. Of course, he couldn't stop the excited you from penning it down. He looked over at you with joy, and gratitude over how he got someone like you.
"I love you so much," he whispered just enough for himself to hear and mean it. Taking your free hand, rubbing it in reassurance that he had your back in whatever you wanted to do.
You loved every part of him; from his passion in pursing his career as leading his own performance team, his structured facial features, his talent in composing songs and covering songs just as good as the original artists, and more that would be just an endless list of reasons for why you never see yourself with anyone else but him.
Alas, he didn't feel the same when work interfered with the two of you.
"Can't we just please work it out? I'm sure there's something. Yeonjun, please."
"Y/n, I don't know how many times I have to tell you, but I have to go.. I can't leave this chance behind.. long-distance won't work on us.. just, make sure you stay healthy, yeah? don't forget about about jjunie.... bye, y/n."
He held you again one last time, embracing your warm hug that you were able to give him for the past 2 years together.
You couldn't stop him from pursuing his career and what he wants to do. So, there you were, alone. You decided to take out the vlog camera that you both shared to document the memories of 2 whole years when you were together. You started rolling.
"i can't say that I miss you, but everytime the feelings get overwhelming, you're there in my mind.. Is this a punishment for my wrongdoings? I'm sorry I pushed you away at times. I didn't mean to. Ha.. remember how we met? That Tuesday when I bumped into you in my favourite cafe. You ordered my favourite drink and sat at the window seat 2 years ago. You couldn't stop staring at me, you were so cute being so shy. That has yet to leave my mind as days passed. But the last time i saw you.. you looked at me, mellow…almost pale. I'm sorry if i wasn't enough. And thank you for everything. It was truly love, but at the wrong timing."
---
yeonjun's pov
"You alright?"
I looked away from the window, realising that I was still at the restaurant with my new dance team members.
"Yeah yeah, sorry, got a lot in my mind right now."
"That's alright man, relax a little! Come, let's drink tonight!"
I really don't want to.
Drinking used to be your favourite thing to do when you have nothing to do with your partner. Sometimes it might lead to a little more, but that's something you share personally with y/n.
Finally, after dreading the whole dinner, some had to be pulled out literally from their seats to get back home, but fortunately for you, they were all settled and the team members urged their team leader to go home; and so you did just that.
Empty. Quiet. Nothing but the sound of your shuffling footsteps to settle down in your new house for the next few years.
What's the point of having a house when I can't call it my home.
Sighing for the nth time, not caring if doing so will make your face get more wrinkles. You decided that maybe unpacking might be helpful to get your mind off of things. From the couch, you reached out for the nearest box, which became the most horrible decisions you have made, aside from breaking up from your most promising partner you ever had in your life.
The box was filled with things that symbolised every memory you shared with them. Pictures from dates you still vividly remember, because you cherish each time you get to meet the love of your life; cute plush toys that you used to win for each other. Rummaging through most of the things, your hand caught the most valuable item out of everything; a small box that held, an actual silver promise ring. You closed it quickly to avoid your tears from staining any part of the precious item, something you didn't get the chance to give before it all ended. You loudly sobbed in your own arms, feeling full of regret and guilt, wishing you didn't had to do that and stayed with them instead.
~
You came across your shared digital camera, that you bought with y/n to record your lives in your own perspective. Sometimes you two edit it and post it on YouTube for memories sake. And for the last time, you pressed the main button and recorded a parting message.
"Y/n, my beautiful lover. my person who shines so bright next to me. my person who was once everything to me. I am.. so sorry. Have you been well? Is Jjunie well? I hope he's eating a lot with you. It's been a few weeks and things still, hasn't changed. My performances are going well but, I can't help but miss you every fucking day.
Walking down the streets alone after burning the midnight oil reminds me of us walking home from classes during our school days, you complaining and ranting about your workload and being thankful about me being there with you. My side feels so cold now. Your hugs are the only thing that can warm me up like the sun on the last day of winter. You used to say I'm your teddy bear everytime. 'You really are my teddy bear. When I'm having a hard time, I can hug you, and you can hug me with your warmest hugs! You better not share it with anyone else!' Trust me y/n, I haven't been. I too have my hardships, but I choose not to tell you, for I worry more about you than anything else, including myself. Your hugs, cuddles, random acts of kindness even as small as giving me pieces of paper you tore from your notebook with words of encouragement on them, all of them gave me hope. If only you knew I still keep everything you gave me. I still order your favourite drink at cafes here, and sit at the window seat like you always loved. I somehow still smell you from some of my shirts. Even my things miss you too.
See this box? This box holds a secret that only I know. I hope one day, when I'm done, when I can finally hug you again once more, I can share the secret with you, and it will be ours. I know I left you abruptly, but please, if im not asking for much, please wait for me. This box and I, will wait for you too. I love you, y/n."
You stopped recording as tears continue to stream down your face.
---
a/n: the ending sounds like i can continue from there...hm... but no promises! let me know how this story made you feel, any suggestions/requests, im happy to take them all~! thank you for reading <;3
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
in a better moment, at a better timing. | choi yeonjun, oneshot.
sypnosis: ex!yeonjun is trying to win you back, after a few months of breaking up. He never stops trying, until the last and final moment just as he was about to give up.
word count: 2k words.
genre: angst, happy ending, slice of life, student life.
warnings: constant mentions of smoking, arguing, fighting.
A/N: yay my first ever post! this isn't a really good oneshot for a first impression, but i had an idea that i just wanted to get it over and done with. I will be posting alot more as I have more works on the way <3 im open to constructive criticism though, just send me a message :)
“Just, enough, Choi Yeonjun. How far do you want to go? Huh? How many times do you want to do this?” you aggressively shook off his hand from your wrist that was gripping hard enough to leave red marks.
“But baby please, I told you I am at fault, that argument from months ago shouldn't have happened if I didn’t get so upset. I know I was shitty but please, let me make things right, yeah?”
He just had to bring this up as you accidentally bumped into him on campus before getting into class. Knowing he would not just give up, you tugged him to the back of your building, where most of the students go to smoke. Lucky for you, no one was there at that moment.
You sighed at the sight of your ex-boyfriend looking down at you with genuine eyes, rubbing his palms together in guilt like it was a Sunday morning during church service. To ease the pain you were feeling in your temples, you took out a cigarette stick, lighting it up and taking a deep inhale, feeling the burn hitting the back of your throat. You leaned on the wall, head tilting as you exhale.
Yeonjun looked at you with mouth agape and eyes widening.
“Since... when do you smoke babe...?”
“Since you broke up with me. I’m not your ‘babe’ anymore, stop calling me that.”
“I thought you hated smokers? That's why I stopped smoking in front of you.”
“And I thought you hated my guts? Why come back for the fifth time now?”
He grew silent.
“...I don’t. I have never hated you?”
Your giggle turned into a full on laughter.
“Really? Choi Yeonjun, you’re fucking funny. Didn’t know you took comedy classes after we broke up.”
He took a few steps closer to you, inching closer to your face. His cologne was overpowering the cigarette smell, but all of your senses stopped working once he locked eyes with you. You seriously hoped his shadow and the gloomy sky were helping to cover your face that was getting red.
“I’m serious, yn.”
He took the cigarette resting on your lips in between his own index and middle fingers, and took a hit. He leaned on the wall next to you, looking up at the sky, wondering if it was going to rain.
You couldn’t even ask him back for your stick because you were still stupidly flustered with the close proximity with your ex. Admittedly, you do still love him; but, you can’t blame yourself because you didn’t ask for the breakup, you just accepted it and (tried to) move on.
You placed a new stick in between your lips. He saw your movement, and before you could take out your lighter, he straightened his posture in front of you and held your shoulders in place. He got closer again, eyes focusing on the sticks in between the two of you, igniting your cigarette with his. For that brief moment, you stared into his eyes again. Fuck. There you go, all smothered for him again. This was the exact reason you two could last so long, close to 2 years long; authentic, real romance most relationships could not achieve for very long.
He snickered at your reaction, which got him a smack on his shoulder that made him retract a few steps back in return.
“Fuck was that Yeonjun.”
“Finally you dropped my last name,” he mentioned, as he hates when close friends, especially his own partner, calls him by his full name, as it is too ‘formal’, and not friendly at all.
You decided to sit down on the ground instead, and he followed suit.
“Whatever, Choi Yeonjun.”
“Hey.. thought you dropped it,” he pouted and tried acting cute.
You didn’t give a response but an inhale of your stick which you rather much focus on. A few brief seconds of silence, he spoke again.
“Remember during freshman year, we would text each other to sneak out and smoke during class?”
That sentence itself made you reminisce about those old times, and elicited a chuckle as you stared at the ground.
“Then you got caught by the class rep?”
“Yeah then I got caught! I took a bullet for us, baby."
He chuckled. There it was, your favourite smile appearing again. God, you miss it so damn much.
He was right, he has actually taken multiple bullets for your relationship, like he said; getting caught leaving class for reasons that your professor wouldn’t approve because he thinks of his students as if they were still young and naive even though everyone is well of age (seriously, who appoints a class rep in universities these days?). He even skipped his dance club meetings and trainings just to come down to see you, or accompany you while you wait for your next class to start, no matter if it was just 30 minutes.
However, at the end of the second semester, the two of you started to become extremely busy. One preparing for a dance competition and one practicing business presentations respectively. Ultimately, an argument just had to rise and break the relationship; over the fact that you two lacked communication and did not trust each other to be in the hands of another in replacement. Could you blame Beomgyu, Yeonjun’s dance partner for always spending time together? Or was it okay for him to point the blame on Soobin, your senior best friend who has been helping big time in preparing for your presentations?
But in truth, he was so agitated and pressured by his competition that he decided to blow smoke on you, blaming you for spending too much time with Soobin and that he was jealous. You were stressed too, and took things too emotionally. It was a typical relationship issue you thought you could talk things through for, but he did not have the same idea. Alas, it was the beginning of your downfall.
A few weeks after the breakup, he came back, haunting you and your friends like a spirit with unfinished business, begging to be brought back in once more and that he was at fault. The first and second time he begged you, you couldn’t even look into his eyes because you were so disappointed in him and yourself that you just walked away without responding. The third and fourth time he tried approaching you, he brought you letters and flowers that were placed on the usual spot you always sit in the lecture theatre for general studies class, which was once next to your beloved boyfriend (but now, Soobin takes that spot). He stopped doing so after seeing his flowers in the bin right outside the class.
Those times made you think, he really still loves you, and in truth, you still love him too, no matter how many times you tried denying it, by going to clubs with friends almost every week, and them telling you he isn’t worth it. You couldn't look him in the eye because you were scared of accepting this bittersweet truth. You threw the flowers because you didn't want your mother to be asking if Yeonjun gave you those and then ask a string of questions relating to your relationship and the boy, which makes her sound like she was more curious about your relationship with him than her own daughter’s wellbeing. All in all, you still hope he tries again, but with a better approach and at a better timing.
The fifth and last time. It was unexpected and accidental. The both of you didn’t watch where you were walking towards, and bumped shoulders hard enough to receive pain from it. After realising it was you who he bumped into, he told his friends to go without him, and you said the same to your own group. The conversation began, and from there it travelled back to the present.
is this perhaps the better approach at a better timing?
Your cigarette stick was slowly becoming shorter, so was his. Silence that was so uncomfortable fell in between the two of you.
“...I see you’re still wearing my hoodie. Does it still smell like me?”
Ah, right. You forgot about what you were wearing till he mentioned it. The grey oversized hoodie that he loved so much, he decided to give it to you before things got hectic, knowing you will miss him a hell lot when you two got very busy. You have been wearing it out of habit actually, but you didn’t really care because all hope was lost, so it was about time you lost his scent and made it yours.
“No, it smells like cigarettes now.”
“Hey, it was my favourite hoodie though! Should I bring back my scent that you love so much-”
“Stop, I don’t want to. I wear it out of habit. And for smoking.”
Yeonjun slowly retracted back his arms that were almost hugging your figure, wanting to hold you again once more, after the drought of not hugging someone that is as precious and adorable as you. He understood that you needed space, but that sentence did break his heart even more.
“...I’ll hear you out again once more. Properly. And I'll think about it this time," you mentioned your final choice to listen to his reasonings and explanations behind his never-ending fight to win you back.
In that split second his heart was mended instantly, and his lips stretched into a small smile, happy that the boy had finally gotten a small victory. He turned his whole body to you, and began speaking his truth.
“I admit I was at fault, the one who started the fight and initiated the break up. I know I messed up, big time. I won’t even blame the dance competition, or Soobin. Just myself. I was stupid enough to make that move out of the blue, especially when you were stressed about your presentations. I am terribly sorry for what I have done, and I promise you that when we have arguments again, I will never, ever do that again. You have been the best I ever had in my life, and I don’t want to be with anyone else, just you. I want to settle down with you and only you! I even thought about how many kids we should have and what kind of house we should-”
“Woah damn. Slow down? How did an apology get to a proposal?”
You giggled at his speech that sounded like he was going to get down on one knee to propose to you. He reacted the same as well, but for a different reason, when he saw you finally smiling because of him.
“Okay okay. Take your time though, I can wait all day for your response.”
“Really? Okay, I can go back to class and get back to you tonight then?” You joked, trying to get up from your spot while he tried to pull you back down.
“Hey no i didn’t mean that!”
“I’m just joking, jjunie."
His heart fluttered at the mention of the nickname, that was specially made by you. No one else can call him that.
You decided to respond after sighing.
“Honestly? I feel the same. I too feel incomplete without you. Ever since we broke up, I couldn’t move on, and it felt wrong to do so. It was as if the universe didn’t allow me to. Do I resent you for that? Yes. Are you at fault? Obviously. But one thing I know for sure, that you regret it. From constantly begging me, to sending me letters and flowers, it was stupid, but it kind of reassured me to know that I wasn’t feeling stupid, alone.”
You looked at him after speaking, and he has been staring at you with glossy eyes, arms wrapped around his knees. You smiled genuinely towards him.
“My mother still asks about you too, you know? Asking when you are coming back to visit her again,”
With that sentence, tears fell from his eyes, he didn’t even put in the effort to wipe it off. His smile became crooked as his sobbing became harder. You felt bad, you hate to see your favourite person cry. You gave in, and gave Yeonjun a comforting hug, wrapping your warm arms around him, cooing and patting him like a little child.
