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So I'm working over here in the hills of Gyeongju and I often find myself exploring ancient Korea off the beaten path. One of my favorite places to go is the tomb of King Munmu. The dragon king, protector of ancient Silla. His tomb under rocks in the sea side. (King Munmu was the 30th king of Silla, the guy who finally unified the Three Kingdoms of Korea back in the 7th century. Legend has it that on his deathbed he asked to be cremated and buried in the sea, not in some fancy tomb on land, because he wanted his spirit to become a dragon and keep protecting the kingdom from invaders — mainly Japan — forever. So that's literally what they did. That rock formation offshore is supposedly his underwater tomb, and locals still consider it sacred ground over 1,300 years later.)

On long lunch breaks, I'll go pay him a visit and if the weather's right I'll go for a dip in my secret swimming hole. Sometimes he leaves me treasure to find, I often find fishing lures and other goods down there. But this is a holy area. The shamans come down and hold rituals here. Last week I was fortunate to catch 8 or 9 female shamans chanting and dancing at my swimming hole. There were swords, a pig head, makgeolli and fruit offerings abound. I was left in awe as I witnessed the ceremony.

Yesterday, I was going to go golfing, but something was calling me to the beach. I decided to go for a swim. I changed from my suit to my swimming trunks in the car and scaled down the cliff side. To my surprise I found two scantily clad ladies had set up camp and having a picnic. I played it cool and wandered by without acknowledging them and went for a swim. I swim out to these rocks and climb up 'em and jump off. While I was out on the rocks, I saw them make their way over to me. They started posing and taking pictures in their bikinis right in front of me. I decided to take them to the gun show as well.

Well now that the ice had been broken, I decided to go talk to them. They were very friendly. Found out they were English teachers from the Philippines. They invited me over to their camp for some pork adobo. And whiskey. The dragon king had bestowed his greatest gift yet upon me. Me!! I was the luckiest guy in the world, my secret beach, Filipino bikini babes, meat n whiskey! Sit down, enjoy with us they said.

But the warning bells were ringing. I had to be back at work. I got a wife n kid. I can't be drinking with bikini babes on the beach. Thoughts of the shamans and the 9-tailed fox had entered my head. (In Korean folklore, the gumiho — the nine-tailed fox — is a shapeshifter who usually takes the form of a beautiful woman to lure men in. In some versions she just wants to eat your liver, in others it's more about tricking you out of your life, your family, your soul. The catch is she never forces anything on you — she just presents the temptation, perfectly timed, and waits to see if you'll take it yourself. That's supposedly the real test.)

The Path Between Stones

I wandered where the old roads bend,

where stone monks pour water without end,

where dragons sleep in tangled green,

half-forgotten, half-unseen.

A hundred Buddhas, still and pale,

remember every untold tale.

Roof tiles carry names and prayer —

whole lives written on grey stone there.

How many feet have walked this way,

how many hearts have stopped to stay?

The water falls, the dragon waits,

The Path Between Stones

I wandered where the old roads bend,

where stone monks pour water without end,

where dragons sleep in tangled green,

half-forgotten, half-unseen.

A hundred Buddhas, still and pale,

remember every untold tale.

Roof tiles carry names and prayer —

whole lives written on grey stone there.

How many feet have walked this way,

how many hearts have stopped to stay?

The water falls, the dragon waits,

white blood sprouted from where his head once was

-a man who gave his neck to prove

that something greater existed.

Ichadon.

527 AD.

"If Buddhism is true, my blood will flow white."

And it did.

A thousand years later

I hiked up Namsan Mountain

not knowing what I was looking for.

Then I turned a corner —

and there he sat.

Headless.

Sunlight pouring down

right where his face once was.

I didn't find the statue.

Ichadon was calling to me.

"The Valley That Time Forgot"

Tucked into the forested hills of Seoakdong, Gyeongju, there is a place where the old world never quite let go.

They say the tomb mounds of King Muyeol rise from the earth like the slow exhale of a sleeping giant — a Silla warrior-king who unified a fractured peninsula with one hand and held the sky in place with the other. Walk past them at dusk and the air changes. Locals will tell you it always has.

Deeper into the valley, past stone walls that have watched dynasties crumble, sits the old Confucian academy — silent now, but once alive with the scratch of brushes and the low murmur of scholars debating the nature of heaven. The stele still stands in the courtyard, carved with the deeds of men who believed that virtue, written in stone, could outlast anything.

And maybe they were right.

Come May, the valley wakes up. The peonies bloom blood-red along the pond's edge — so vivid they look painted. The Buddha's birthday lanterns go up, swaying between ancient pagodas in colors that shouldn't make sense next to all that grey stone — but somehow do. Like a whisper becoming a song.

Gyeongju doesn't shout its history at you. It hides it in the petals, in the pond, in the weight of a thousand-year-old silence broken only by the wind through the pines.

Come in May. Walk slowly. Pay attention.

“Where the Water Remembers”

Long ago, when kings still ruled from Gyeongju, this place was not so quiet.

A pavilion once stood here for scholars and nobles of the Silla Kingdom—a place where poetry was written, alliances whispered, and the future of the kingdom quietly shaped over cups of wine.

They say on certain spring nights, when the cherry blossoms fell like soft snow, the king himself would come to sit by the water. Not as a ruler, but as a man—watching the ripples, listening to the wind, wondering how long even a great kingdom could last.

Time answered him.

The court is gone. The voices have faded. The kingdom itself now lives only in stories.

But the water remains.

Still. Reflective. Unchanged.

And if you look closely, you’ll notice something—

The pavilion stands twice.

Once in the world we see…

Long ago, when tigers used to smoke, the kings, queens, and dignitaries of Silla crossed proudly into the capital over Wolseong Bridge. Their processions were grand, their paths well seen.

But not all who served the kingdom walked in the light.

Beneath the quiet sky of Gyeongju, where the river bends gently through time, the stone turtles stand watch as they have for centuries.

The turtles, with their steady gaze and ancient strength, were more than ornament. They stood as protectors of the kingdom—symbols of endurance, wisdom, and unwavering loyalty. Beneath their watch, the Hwarang passed like shadows, moving between forest and capital, unseen but ever ready.

The river still reflects the sky as it did then, carrying with it echoes of soft footsteps, rustling armor, and the quiet resolve of those who defended Silla from the unseen paths.

And even now, the turtles remain.

Watching.

Waiting.

Long ago, when tigers used to smoke, the kings, queens, and dignitaries of Silla crossed proudly into the capital over Wolseong Bridge. Their processions were grand, their paths well seen.

But not all who served the kingdom walked in the light.

Beneath the quiet sky of Gyeongju, where the river bends gently through time, the stone turtles stand watch as they have for centuries.

The turtles, with their steady gaze and ancient strength, were more than ornament. They stood as protectors of the kingdom—symbols of endurance, wisdom, and unwavering loyalty. Beneath their watch, the Hwarang passed like shadows, moving between forest and capital, unseen but ever ready.

The river still reflects the sky as it did then, carrying with it echoes of soft footsteps, rustling armor, and the quiet resolve of those who defended Silla from the unseen paths.

And even now, the turtles remain.

Watching.

Waiting.

Chapter One: The Great Escape (for a sandwich)

So we were on one of them Korean bus tours throughout Central Europe. For context, theres 27 Ethnic Koreans on this bus and 1 caucasian American. It's not my cup of tea, but I dont want to stress the wife. 6 of her family members are with us, and she's organizing the show. I told her I'd be on my best behavior.

So I'm pounding beers and sipping singlemalt all afternoon on the back of the bus to Prague. Despite its beauty, I still managed to make an ass of myself. When dinner came around, I was feeling mighty fine. Dinner was prepaid and at a korean restaurant, but I swore I wouldn't eat Korean on this trip, so when we ended up at the restaurant, I just didn't go in. I kept walking and found a sandwich shop. I ate my hot roast beef sandwich with great delight. But when I finished, I figured I should get back to the group. I found them, and of course, they were confused as to where I was and why I wasn't eating with em. All I did was grab a bottle of soju and sit at the head of the table, pouring myself shots and shooting em back to back. Well, the missus was properly pissed. even more so when she had to fork over 13 euro for that soju. But reserved enough not to have an argument in the restaurant. I already told her I wasn't eating korean on this trip, but she spent the rest of the evening in a rightful funk. After getting back to the hotel, I came to the realization that I still ended up consuming Korean and paying more for it. Haha dumbass. Anyway, I apologized for my drunk ass, went down to the hotel bar and ordered 2 more pints, and stumbled around the hotel for the rest of the evening. Good times in Praha! These bus tours do have their benefits, though. Gotta DD everywhere I go.

Chapter Two: The Bibimbap Boycott Continues

So far, we've been in Europe for 4 ~ 5 days. Every night, we've had either Chinese or Korean food for dinner now. However, I'm still carrying on my little protest of Korean food. Last night, we went for bibimbap. I was much more composed this time than the first time. I joined my family at the table, and spoon fed my daughter her bibimbap while we were conversing about life. I enjoyed it very much, actually, but I didn't touch my food, despite my wife's urging. I told her, I'm going to continue my boycott out of pure stubbornness. A man's gotta stand firm on his beliefs that in Korea, you eat Korean food, and in Europe, you eat European food. Pure foolishness if you ask me, throwing away completely good and free food out of spite. (When there are starving Syrians out there. That's a whole nother story) But according to the family, the bibimbap wasn't good! And they wished they had something else as well.

But we got our chance, later in the evening. Me n the brother in law, Yuni, went on a walk about looking for a watering hole. The town we were staying in, Fischamend, a sleepy little town on the outskirts of Vienna, shuts down early. We left around 8 pm and found a few bars, but they were already shut down on a Saturday night. We found a lively little pub filled with locals, and they were celebrating 2 birthdays! Complete with cakes and homemade snacks. Omg!! It was to die for. The cake was a 5 layer cake, a thick cream frosting between each layer. I'm not a big cake guy, but I have been craving a cake like this for decades!!! And the little snack platter with breads, meats, and cheese and spreads! Ahhh It was like I died and went to heaven. This is exactly the type of dining experience I wanted on this trip. Not only the food, but the social interactions as well. When We entered the pub, we bellied up to the bar, and I proclaimed in my best German, “Zwei Beir Bitte” to which she asked “You want big or small? “Theres only big things about me babe” but I didn't know how to say that in German. So I don't know if she understood but I got the big beer. Anyways, she pours the drinks, and I whip out the card, and she's like, “Only Cash!” Omg! Wtf!! We don't have any cash!! I've just been carrying around a card, taping as I go all throughout Europe, but in this sleepy little town, only cash. One of the elders offered to escort me out to the atm. We left the fine establishment, arm in arm, and as she dragged me down the street, all the locals were snickering. Alarm bells start to go off! Is this Gramma trying to snooker me on the street corner? Well, I protested and said I have to go back and get my friend. I didn't feel comfortable leaving Yuni back in the bar by himself. Lonely Korean in a bar filled with Austrians. He might be scared. So we went back to get Yuni. Only to find Yuni, getting comfortable with another Gramma! And I interrupted his good time!! Cockblocker or good wingman? I'm not sure just yet. But I convinced him to go to the atm with me. I should have gone with Grandma cause we couldn't find the atm at first. Turns out it's inside the actual bank. Like in the lobby. The banks are empty but you can just walk in and use an atm. But when we tried to use it, our credit cards kept getting declined. So we decided to go wake up our wives and ask them for more money so we could keep drinking. Not the best idea, but only one we got. The hotel was a klick away, no problem. We can kill 2 birds with 1 stone. Get in a little exercise, and get some more beer drinking money. So we decided to double time it back to the hotel. All the days smokes and beers soon took its toll. We didn't quite run the full klick but we got there all the same. Snuck into hotel, woke up the missus, asked for more beer money, snuck back out again. 1 more klick back to the bar. The run was downhill this time so it was a bit easier. Anyways, we got back and the whole bar erupted, “Only Cash!” They figured we just f'd off. But, not me. I pay my bar tabs And got a few more beers for the road. But while we were gone, someone stole Yunis smokes!! However, on our adventure, we passed by the smokes vending machine that even sells weed. 2g for 18 euro. Very reasonable, I thought, considering the prices I saw inside the big city. Anyways, we were there for smokes, not ganja. But when we went to scan our card, the vending machine kept asking us to scan our IDs to verify we're over 18. Shit we didn't have id's either. Thwarted again. Even though we lost our smokes, we still got our beers and cakes. So it was a good adventure out.

Chapter Three: Kimchi, Kinks, and Gorgonzolla

Okay, so a few nights ago, we were at the St. Rupert Festival in Salzburg. Good Eats, Good Drinks, and all around a good time. Well, it came time to eat dinner, and we went on a bit of a walk, away to another Chinese restaurant. Wasn't too thrilled, but I gave it a go. Should've gone straight out the door. They had CORN in the egg drop soup. They had kimchi, I tasted it, and it lacked the spice and flavor of Korean Kimchi. "This must be 중국김치" (chinese kimchi), I exclaimed. At that point, I stood up and politely excused myself from the table. And went right out the door. Now the missus wants me to tell you that I went to a Vietnamese restaurant and got a Báhn Mì… She says I'm being paradoxical, cause I wont eat one Asian food but will eat others Well, she has a point, but… it was the only other place around to get a quick bite. So that was the reason. The Báhn Mì wasn't the best, certainly not up to the same meaty standards of the Austrian sandwiches I've been snacking on for the past week. But a lot cheaper than fair food, and certainly more delicious than the slop they were feeding us at the Chinese restaurant. So she has a point, but it was worth it.

Anyways, fast forward a day or two. We're in Frankfurt, and it's time for the last meal of the trip. And we go for….. 순두부찌개 (Tofu Stew). Ahh, I just couldn't anymore. I made sure the family sat down and was taken care of. And then I politely asked the guide how much time we have. She gave me 30 minutes. I already did my homework and found a pizza joint, a block away. I ordered a spicy gorgonzolla sausage and jalapeño pizza. But it was going to take 10 min in the oven. So I went for a look around. And I found an adult themed shop for men. Curiosity got the best of me. And I went in for a little looksie. It was like a leather wonderland. All black leather, latex, and rubber everything. Smelled so good. I exchanged pleasantries with the owner and explained I was just looking. It was kinda cool all the leather and latex and stuff. And then I turned a corner, and thats where they kept the whips and chains and giant horse dongs!!! Holy smokes, I was so surprised. Some of those things were bigger than tree trunks. I wondered how anybody could ever handle something of that magnitude. Well, between those things and the fury masks and gag balls, I couldn't stop laughing. The owner asked me if I'd like to see anything in particular. No, thank you!! My pizza was prolly done, and I had seen enough German kinkery for a lifetime. Got my pizza and took it outside to enjoy the steps outside the Korean restaurant. Ah, man, it was so good. I totally made my trip. There were a lot of excellent feasts during this trip. Especially the breakfasts, but that last pizza was the cherry on top. Anyway, I'm back in Korea now and craving some meat on the grill and soju in my belly.