@gwenlovescookies - Tumblr Blog

watching my promised afternoon thunderstorm slip from a 90% chance to a 20% chance.... baby come back i can change

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depsidase

did-you-know

‘The Raven’ was almost ‘The Parrot’. When Edgar Allen Poe first conceived of the poem, he wanted a ‘melancholy’ feel and planned to use ‘nevermore’ as a refrain.

Deciding that a talking, non- reasoning animal would be the best way to repeat the word, Poe first thought of a parrot - until he realized ravens are ‘equally capable of speech, and infinitely more in keeping with the intended tone.’

(Source, Source 2)

kraglynn

@facts-i-just-made-up I think this one is probably on you

facts-i-just-made-up

I don’t have too many jokes that have been spread as real facts. Trying to keep track of who’s posted more lies, me or the “real” fact blogs would be an impossible chore.

Quoth the fact blog, “Who keeps score?”

the-dragon-hearted

It is amazing to me how many people in comics or shows discover a superhero's secret identity and then REVEAL it! Like???

If I found out my nice neighbor who helped me jumpstart my car at the god awful hour of 5am was Superman? NOBODY'S GETTING SHIT FROM ME I KNOW NOTHING!

a) bro can shoot lazer eyes

b) bro is minding his own business, I can do the same

c) The moment I start blabbing I get involved and I DO NOT want to be involved with the day to day life of a fuckin superhero. So I don't know shit, okay?

My lawyer's some vigilante. Sounds like a conflict of interest but what do I look like? A cop? My trash collector is a superhero? Anyway, thanks buddy, have a great one, say hi to the kids for me. I watched my waiter at McDonalds absolutely throw hands with a supervillain. That's crazy, anyway here's a 30% tip in cash. Good luck with those student loans.

Like I am not getting involved with ANYYYYY of that. Uh uh, no way, I don't see shit. I am just trying to make it to the end of the day without being kidnapped, held hostage, tortured, or interrogated and the best way to do that is keep. My. Damn. Mouth. Shut.

dancinbutterfly

You are the TikToker who is like “I am not getting involved with los Espookys. And remember if you saw something - no you didn’t.”

mikkeneko

replicated

i'm not really into blondes but this is an objectively absurd connection to make

not100bees

In order to be properly non-pedophilic you have to want to fuck somebody old but not with gray or white hair because that's too close to blonde which as we've established is the hair color of children. So ideally somebody old as fuck but bald. And obviously wanting to have sex with a man is misogynistic so it has to be a woman. And it can't be a white woman because that would be racist and it can't be a woman of color because that would be fetishistic, so ideally a woman with some unnatural skin color, oh let's say, purple. But it can't be an alien, because we don't know anything about alien life cycles so it could be an alien child or an alien that looks like a child. So it has to be an animal from Earth, but obviously one of human level intelligence that can communicate is otherwise that would be bestiality. So an old purple female animal that can speak English. I think the only creature you can be hot for is the Ant Queen from A Bug's Life.

kholdseid

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sexy-necromancing-bird

Is the guy in the cuck chair supposed to stay quiet or is he allowed to clap and cheer

foxgirlmindcrank

he's supposed to take notes and make an intrigued hum when an interesting plot point occurs

conspiracydeerist

blu3str1k3

thisarenotarealblog

one is getting cucked by the bottom and the other is getting cucjed by the top. Subject matter experts discussing the sex like a sports panel

morganoperandi

One cuck always lies, the other always tells the truth. You have one question to determine who’s a top and who’s a bottom.

whumpster-fire

draconym

i would rather see the information for an event handwritten in sharpie on a paper towel than see another AI generated flyer

aj-living-life

Saving this post to show my boss who I told the AI flier makes us look lazy and ignorant, and offered to hand draw one. She still printed tons of ai fliers and I'm tempted to make a better one just because it annoys me so much.

aj-living-life

Fun update: event was canceled because literally nobody rsvp'd to the AI flier.

pyronoid-d-deactivated20181217

/r/choosingbeggars is the only good Subreddit I’ve decided

pyronoid-d-deactivated20181217

innerchildabortionclinic

mind palace that was formerly a palace until the ruling family was killed mercilessly for its crimes. and now it's the thinking woman's socialist republic.

halondrus

Draw him alive and well. Ok now draw him playing sudoku

halondrus

Now draw him struggling at sudoku in a manner that is no longer endearing and is now embarassing

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despazito

really loving this fake AI scandal of trump secretly meeting with the volturi

despazito

pissvortex

BREAKING: Trump Has Allegedly Signed The White-Gold Concordat And Is In League With The Thalmor 😳🚨

penny-anna

wish literary magazines would realise that 'we don't send rejection notes because if you submit a story to us we'll hold it under consideration forever' is uh. a really bad policy from a writer perspective.

roycohn

happy donna sheridan unprotected sex day (1/3), everybody!!!

natalieironside

If u could bring dead ppl back 2 life with magic like in video games the hollywood stunt scene would be out of control. There'd be professional snuff actors winning awards for dying the best. Producers would be like "If u need somebody to get killed in a film call up Resurrection Eddie, nobody gets killed as good as Eddie"

todaysbird

today's bird is this Common Swift! this CRAZY photo was taken by Eden Davies from the uk. (image was pulled from reddit in r/Birdsfacingforward)

avxx

Me: oh if only I had a way to plot points in two dimensions

The ever reliable cartesian coordinate plane:

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