Quickly degrading

Feeling the time flow

My roots staying

Rooting in place

Still trying to feel sane

Wished upon a star

Gave me all once I never had

Let a man take my youth

Rotting in bed

Giving head

Dying inside

Letting my fears decide

What I can do

Or what I want

In case I never go

I want you to know

the truths and the butterflies

it’s hard when you don’t try

to build trust or even follow our musts

i think about all the stuff

the things you did

and the time when it was rough

to sleep well to not collapse

to keep a smile and say it’s fine

why do i keep trying to resist

why do you still keep asking me more things

i give trust i give head

but you keep asking me to not complain

when the things i want are for ourselves

i’ll keep searching for little elves

to bring some luck to bring some hope

the moment and the play

“it’s all okay” it’s what you say

when all i feel is an intense pain

i feel sorry for what you did

cause now it is all that i can think

i try my best to stay in place

to not collapse or turn insane

i need to know if that was all

if you’re being true to our love

it’s not the first or even third

you tend to lie in order to protect

all turns worse when i insist

the truth’s revealed and i feel sick

tell me then, is it just me?

the one you love, the one you seek?

i am afraid to ask again

if you’re honest or just someone i wish i knew

i don’t know if there was more

more texts more sex more love

it haunts my mind when i wake up

the image of someone taking advantage

you say it’s my fault to experience this emotion

when it was you who didn’t search for a solution

you take the dick you take the pain

and i’m just someone you took in vain

i’ll be enough for someone else

who doesn’t care about my body

or my strength

about my mind, my cries

and my honest self

i’m not gonna lie

i wish it was you

who wanted to try and didn’t flew

it’s okay i’ll take the blame

but don’t you think i’ll ever say

“it’s all my fault and you’re correct”

or are we just bored

is it the cold?

or just that we don’t flow

when all was dark

we had that spark

now this thing starts to shine

and i can’t find that blazing light

you like stuff

and follow guys

is it that pill or is it our bond?

i’ll try some more, i’ll learn to glow

you’ll get my best

you never shake

don’t feel ashamed to show your pain

don’t cry don’t seek

or else you see

what you made me feel

it’s all your fault to feel this way

don’t cry in vain

he will complain

i try so hard to fall sleep

and not to think about what you did

the attention you seek

and the way it makes me feel

you lie you cry

you tell me why

and then go back to feel confined

i never felt this way before

but didn’t know who you followed

the skinny boys the whores and all

and then you want just to be loved

is it love all you want

I try to be kind

but it doesn’t seem fair

yet I don’t want to cry

it’s not I don’t want to

it’s my eyes are just dry

I’m shaking tonight

but I’m not gonna hide

you’ll face what you did

I should leave you behind

don’t know if I’ll trust you again

to not collapse, to calm my chest

the summer night where we first met

full moon light and forest depth

dancing to some summer hits

didn’t know why you didn’t insist

we were just kids and now we are not

is it too late?

am i just not enough?

the thing is, all happens in my head

and i don’t know if you remember

when all i did was smile

and i was ready to surrender

i tend to do this

to make things up

to scape my life, don’t take me back

i need you, savior

take me there

for two years now

didn’t know what was it all about

now look at me i’m almost dead

with nothing but huge regrets

i’m so fake while writing this

when in the end i cry to sleep

for things i say for things i think

don’t want to be the bad guy here

i’m waiting til somebody sees

the mess in me and chooses to leave

my life will end, never come back

won’t feel sane until i see your face

will always remember how free i was

when i was dancing and doing drugs

ignored my home

ignored my boyfriend

finally felt good with what i’ve chosen

i’m back in here bleeding tears for how i feel

back in my phone

my death has come

bury me where i was free

my mind becomes much clear

my weight resists to die

my body will suffer from this time

my mind becomes much clear

i think i’ll die in a bit

will suffer from some things

i just wanted to be thin

my mind becomes much clear

when i’m not thinking of it

my mind turns deepest black

to clean the mess i made

i know i’ve done bad things

never intended to be mean

i love you when you leave

don’t want to make seems

as if i never wanted to be here

it wasn’t made for me

love doesn’t make you free

begged for it in times of need

this one is more of a wish not that i think it’ll be like this… @tiredandlonelymuse listen to love more you’ll understand

and for the last one… iykyk

No moral compass

No fear to hell

This feeling I’ll have to face

Will end it all