EMBODIED HOPE

( I’m planning on archiving this blog and moving! I really want to bring Nagito back. )

Fingers tremble as he feels the warmth on his chest, swearing the pounding of his heart against fragile ribs was something that could be heard from the next room over. Something akin to dizziness washes over him, the silence of the room deafening as a pale hand reaches for Hajime’s. Deprecating thoughts stir in his head as he feels himself shivering under the other’s touch. Komaeda is desperate to get fingers off of his skin, fingers that were merely offering a gesture of adoration that he could only reject with conflicted longing. More than anything he’d want to accept the gesture, to believe that for once someone could make an exception and actually feel something towards him that wasn’t disgust. Depravity clawed at his insides as he dropped Hajime’s hand from his grasp, voice barely audible as he tried to force the statement out.     “ …I- ”     He feels like he’s choking on his words, breath catching as his gaze falls to his feet.     “ No… ”     The word trails off, his inability to form a proper sentence showing even more as slender digits fiddle with the raggedy edges of his coat. His eyes sting but he refuses to admit it, hues sharp towards his shoes, inspecting as if he actually had something to be looking for besides his courage.     “ Sorry, I don’t think I really understand. ”

( just so y’all know I’m still alive and well and I’m not abandoning ko I’m just like 2 weeks away from opening night of the musical I’m in, a big set of auditions, and finals!! )

           CURSED.

His reply takes eternities to form on his tongue, gaze fixated on their entangled digits.     “ Nanami-san, where are we going...?? ”

“ I’d trade my luck to know. ”     //     Crossfire - Stephen

“ I get so scared of dying. ”     //     Bluebird - Paper Rival

“ I was so confused as a little child, tried to take what I could get- scared that I couldn't find all the answers. ”     //     Born to Die - Lana Del Rey