⋆.𐙚 ̊𝓂𝒾𝓁𝒾ℯ⟡ ݁₊ .

my name is milie

(dylan wasnt my real name, i just had it since 2021, was the most comfortable with it, but lowk dont want people to think ive had it just because of clmbn, so im using one of my nicknames now lol)

my fav perps -> e and d (been fixated on their case for almost 4 years now) and timothy mcveigh

fav cases -> vierfach m0rd von rupperswil, columbine, oklahoma city b0mbing, 911, haute route drama, challenger, apollo1, satandsmord von sondershausen, ok i cant think of more rn.....

stuff i listen to -> jamiroquai, kmfdm, the smashing pumpkins, rdr2 soundtrack, rammstein, PAN!K (aka nevada tan, they dont exist no more💔), jeff buckley, many people/bands from my country that no one knows of, buntspecht, adrianne lenker, the beatles and so on

heres my spotify

my interests -> columbine, oklahoma city bombing, zero day, rdr2, 20th century and 21th century history, military, lost media, cowboys, apollo missions/spaceshuttle missions, zero day, mt everest tragedies, plane accidents(911 included), cold cases, PAN!K usw

i can speak english and german (im not counting my native language since its just a dialect of german....)

my discord -> gunspewpew

if u want to talk or be friends, dm me here or on discord

you can send me asks

-> requests (tho i mostly draw eric and dylan since its the thing im hyperfixating on)

-> i will answer everything, except i find it creepy or weird

(send me asks please, im bored sometimes...)

‼️‼️this account isnt strictly t🌊🌊 so ill post drawings of something else aswell ‼️‼️

-> like practice and ocs

dni -> not really anything, just dont be a creep

dms are open if you want to chat or sum :3

also im not listing my mental illnesses here because i dont think it needs to be public ....

uhm yeah thats it👩‍🦯

i do not condone, im just very interested in morbid things 🤸‍♀️

(also lowk scared of my acc getting nuked, i survived all the banwaves until now🏃)

sometimes i think its funny that my mom doesnt realise i literally cut my hands via the. knife i got for work. cutting open plastic and cardboard.

no whar do i do i cut my hands with it

i also think my mom stopped caring about me but what do i know, she probably did when i was 12, not caring about what i did, i mean. but why should i care she didnt want me in the first place so why am i whining

its my mother iam whining about bro, she shouldntve had kids in the first place. i mean, why would else would she not buy me dinner when shes at the supermarket, buying dinner and sweets and chips for herself and then asking herself why iam not eating😂😂 bro i barely have time to go grocery shopping for myself, i work from 8am to 8pm, shops close at 8pm here brooo

yknow my mom is also not sharing home money, like, okay bro i have a job, i get my own loan, but my mother gets tips that are between 60 and 200chf all day, thats totally different from the money i get every end of the month. she gets money everyday, has money on the side for grocery shopping but i have to go grocery shopping for the household from my own pocket, i have to live with 100chf a month because i have aubscriptions to pay, my train subcription so i dont have to pay for a ticket every time i go to my boyfriends (the ticket is like half a liver bro, like ok if you dont want me seeing him have fun seeing my de@d body hanging from the ceiling), 300 goes into my savings account every month, so i have money on the side to buy a new phone , because mine is almost 10 years old and dying. but i have to take from it because i dont have money left sometime around mid month because i have to pay everything myself.

she still wants me to give her my last 100 chf so she has money from me. bro i have nothing to use during the month then. BUT SHE COMPLAINS WHEN I ASK HER IF SHE CAN GIVE ME MONEY. i dont have any on the side bro what do you want from me, i offered her my whole savings because she and i fought a few days ago that i dont give her anything, i gave her my savings, all of them and she just yelled at me. seriously what do you want from me.

and when i stay home for a few days, because i have mental issues and physically cant work, she yells at me, insults me and then makes me want to jump infront of a train.

i hate my mom bro shes so greedy and then she asks herself why i developed depression at age 7. like yea its not just her maybe its me but its lowk also not my fault that she didnt love my dad and just wanted someone to fuck her. then got a kid. which is me, neglected me until my dad came back from rehab and mental hospitals just to better himself so he can meet me,( she broke up w my dad though because she lost intrest in him tho) im gonna cry bro, i hate her so much, my cousins and uncles are so right about her UGHHHHH

sometimes i wish she just didnt bring me into the world so all of this didnt happen but then i feel like everythings unreal and i harm myself hahahhahhhashdh

but its sad bro, i flinch when my boyfriend lifts his hand, cry when he raises his voice in any way, he aint even mad when he does this, i just dont hear him sometimes, i get sad over that fact because bro its my boyfriend and hes the sweetest guy alive.

but its generally, i flinch when people raise their hands or touch me unexpectedly, i cry when people raise their voice and i feel like some abandoned dog when i feel like my friends or my boyfriend lost interest in me.

bro i shouldve been tested for learnin disabilities like dyslexia or discalculia, i literally wasnt and now that iam in therapy, iam getting tested on the things that shouldve been tested when i was younger. iam just now getting my diagnoses. my mother just couldnt care less if i was mentally ill, for her i was always lazy.

me isolating myself because i was going drough an active depression? no its just puperty, milie is just lazy and going through a phase. possible dissociation for days at a time because a guy broke me in ways that left me cutting up my thighs for days? no, milie just wants attention because her ex broke up with her. me not understanding numbers because i literally just didnt understand, no matter how much you told me because i could possibly have discalculia? no milie doesnt pay enough attention in the lessions.

ughh