SENTENCE MEME ⟶ THE GOOD PLACE / 4.03 –– 4.04
always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.
“So, what’s on tap for today?”
“If there’s anyone that can turn that ash-hole into a good person, it’s [name].”
“The man used to collect action figures of famous philosophers.’
“What a dork. I love him so much.”
“It’s so great, but you know, it’s also quite said for you in a way that I always think about and am respectful of.”
“I guess once you have the burden of saving humanity removed from your brain, life is dandy.”
“You want to make a pearl, you gotta get some sand in your clam.”
“We need him to live in a world of low-grade dread.”
“I have a ton of experience making ex’s lives miserable.”
“First, we full his acoustic guitar with wet cat food.”
“Judge me all you want, but I get results.”
“I researched how humans cope with relationships ending, and number eight on the list was doing something dumb with your hair.”
“His pettiness was the result of feeling excluded.”
“We exfoliate the dead skin cells of envy, and we detoxify his soul.”
“We need your help with something very important.”
“I have a shiny new butthole.”
“No more drawing boobs in the dirt.”
“If you think he needs help, maybe you should just tell him directly.”
“All I have to do is be myself, and he’s constantly freaking out.”
“You have that effect on people, bud.”
“What else can we do to mess up his life?”
“I know people don’t look to me for plans or ideas or anything, but maybe we should ease off.”
“He’s like Superman with nervous diarrhea.”
“This whole week has just been a wind-up to a sucker-punch.”
“We have to push him to the edge.”
“We have to knead his fragile psyche until he’s hyperventilating, losing his mind.”
“Sometimes adversity can lead to growth.”
“Whatever the moral dilemma is, maybe you’ll come out on the other side better for it.”
“I’m used to moral dilemmas, I like moral dilemmas. They’re my jam.”
“I am seriously worried that I did something wrong, and this is the universe getting back at me.”
“Maybe you need to be even more direct with him, like, punch him in the face.”
“You’ve just been very nice to him and I don’t like the way he’s treating you.”
“I’m going to help you become a good person.”
“I’m still angry he abandoned me, which makes me feel guilty, which makes me angry.”
“I still don’t have a grip on the human emotional spectrum.”
“You guys are often happy when you should be sad and angry when you should be happy.”
“Even if it’s not rational, you’re allowed to feel a little angry.”
“It just felt really good to be brainy and have a useness.”
“I’m a pretty decent artist, but I’m not so great under pressure.”
“It looks like broccoli with teeth.”
“Fork me, that was a disaster.”
“I’m so glad he stopped asking me to dinner so we could ‘discuss’ my career.”
“We’re working really hard and we need to relax occasionally or we’re gonna burn out.”
“Whoever you are, show yourself.”
“Whatever you need to say to me, you can say right here.”
“It would lead to a very uncomfortable social situation.”
“If it’s not too much trouble, could I get a hot glass of pig urine?”
“If you’re a devil, how come you’re not wearing Prada?”
“One day you’re flattening penises, and the next you just decide to deflect?”
“I don’t know if I believe that anymore.”
“He’s so mean. He yells at me all the time.”
“If I melt, I am gonna be like, so annoyed.”
“You sound so much like him, I want to punch you.”
“Let’s send him spiraling down the toilet bowl like the pinched turd he is.”
“We are not calling her unless we have no other choice.”
“I’m very upset about this development.”
“To be fair, slumber parties rule.”
“Predictably, this was unhelpful.”
“My good man, allow me to bury the hatchet.”
“Explain yourself, if yourself is even yourself.”
“He knew that I would crumble under the pressure.”
“That lie was only to cover my two earlier lies.”
“I have no reason not to believe you, except for the last three lies.”
“Can you make some sort of demon lie detector?”
“Why don’t we get him drunk so he starts blabbing?”
“You never would have known the difference.”
“I love a good sabotage.”
“I said that to him, and he dismissed it.”
“It’s like a very complicated bra.”
“Show us what we’re working with.”
“I’m a 6,000 foot tall fire squid.”
“I think I speak for everyone here when I say I really have to see this.”
“Do you really want to be friends with something like that?”
“So, does blowing up mean he was lying or telling the truth?”
“I’ve never killed anybody before.”
“Why don’t you take a break and we’ll get some food in you.”
“I’m hella good at puzzles.”
“He may have lied to us, but he didn’t deserve that.”
“I know this is a weird time, but if you ever want to talk, just know that I’m here for you.”
“Of all the human stuff I’ve been able to experience –– nachos, number one.”
“I feel like I made the world a little bit worse.”
“I won’t be okay until I make it better again.”
“Making yourself miserable to ease the suffering of others –– about the most [name] thing you can do.”
“I just don’t know if I can ever trust you.”
“Starting over sounds exhausting.”
“I wish I could be saying this under better circumstances, but take it sleazy.”
“I had you fartknockers fooled for weeks.”
“Sometimes the only thing a bully understands is a punch in the mouth.”
“I’m gonna go down there, I’m gonna punch him in the mouth, and I’m gonna get [name] back.”
“Dope, sounds like somebody has a plan.”
