scientist babe

Just about all my life, I have struggled with imposter syndrome. I worked very hard in school and all extracurriculars, but I never felt quite good enough. My grades and achievements have always said the opposite. I even went to University of Miami for undergrad, and then got into Harvard for my PhD… you would be surprised how often I played this off as ‘luck’ or ‘a happy accident’.

The truth is, as a Black Woman, I’ve frequently been told or regarded as ‘not enough’. This just fed further into my inner feelings of imposter syndrome. I had this nagging voice in my head telling me I didn’t belong, wasn’t good enough, or, and the most horrible of them all, I’m only here because I’m Black.

Impostor Syndrome impacts my science everyday. I frequently would go into the lab, intimidated by my tasks for the day, or being so nervous of messing up that I would do just that. In classes, I would frequently compare myself to other students. I took note of their additional achievements and accolades from their gap years or upbringing from a science-affluent background, and further convinced myself that I wasn’t good enough.

Deep down, I have always felt like I had something so impactful that I could give to the world… My imposter syndrome limited my ability to see how I could help others, in addition to making me feel unsafe in an academic/lab space.

Until one day it hit me like a truck: my grades and work ethic have always been outstanding, and truthfully I didn’t have much evidence that I ‘wasn’t good enough’ to be in the positions I have achieved. I had various remarks from other students or faculty that recognized the quality of my work. I started to change my internal narrative where I focused on all the positive things I bring to the classroom and lab. I started becoming less anxious of speaking up in class, sharing my personal experience, or attempting a new protocol in the lab. I became proud of my background instead of ashamed of what I ‘didn’t have’ in comparison to others, because my background is what curated my character as a student.

Now, this is opening doors for me I couldn’t even imagine! Having a limitless mindset makes me unstoppable, and whenever I can fill my cup, I can also help others more than I could even imagine!