weasley is our king

’ alright, mickey’s a mouse, donald’s a duck, pluto’s a dog. what’s goofy? ’ ’ goofy’s a dog. he’s definitely a dog. ’ ’ if i could only have one food for the rest of my life? ’ ’ there’s no way anybody could know that much about opera! ’ ’ does the word “retarded” mean anything to you? ’ ’ i don’t shut up. i grow up. and when i look at you, i throw up. ’ ’ don’t call me any of your mother’s pet names. ’ ’ fuck writing, i don’t want to be a writer. ’ ’ god gave you something, man, all those stories you can make up. ’ ’ kids lose everything unless there’s someone there to look out for them. ’ ’ this is what we got for ya, kid. try not to lose it. ’ ’ if your parents are too fucked up to do it, then maybe i should. ’ ’ i’m in the prime of my youth, and i’ll only be young once! ’ ’ yeah, but you’re gonna be stupid for the rest of your life. ’ ’ how do you know if a frenchman has been in your backyard? ’ ’ your garbage cans are empty and your dog’s pregnant. ’ ’ didn’t i just say i was french? ’ ’ do you think i’m weird? ’ ’ no man, seriously. am i weird? ’ ’ so what? everyone’s weird. ’ ’ suck my fat one, you cheap dime store hood. ’ ’ this isn’t funny! what am i supposed to eat? ’ ’ come on you guys. let’s get moving. ’ ’ by the time we get there, the kid won’t even be dead anymore. ’ ’ you four-eyed pile of shit! ’ ’ a pile of shit has a thousand eyes. ’ ’ do you think mighty mouse could beat up superman? ’ ’ he/she was carrying five elephants in one hand! ’ ’ boy, you don’t know nothing! ’ ’ there’s no way a cartoon could beat up a real guy. ’ ’ maybe you’re right. it’d be a good fight, though. ’ ’ i’m never gonna get out of this town am i? ’ ’ you can do anything you want, man. ’ ’ the main guy of the story is a fat kid that nobody likes. ’ ’ friends come in and out of our lives, like busboys in a restaurant. ’ ’ come on, choppy! bite my ass, choppy! bite my ass! ’ ’ stop teasing that dog, you hear me! stop teasing him! ’ ’ i’m gonna beat your ass, teasing my dog like that! ’ ’ i’d like to see you climb over this fence and get me, fat ass! ’ ’ don’t you call me that, you little tin weasel peckerwood looney’s son. ’ ’ what did you call me? ’ ’ i’m gonna rip your head off and shit down your neck! ’ ’ i never had any friends later on like the ones i had when I was twelve. ’ ’ nothing like a smoke after a meal. ’ ’ yeah… i cherish these moments. ’ ’ “suck my fat one”? whoever told you that you had a fat one? ’ ’ i was twelve going on thirteen the first time i saw a dead human being. ’ ’ what are you gonna do? shoot us all? ’ ’ you guys wanna go see a dead body? ’ ’ you wanna be the lone ranger, or the cisco kid? ’ ’ shit no! what do you think i am? ’ ’ is it loaded? ’ ’ if you wanna get laid, you gotta get yourself a protestant. ’ ’ did your mother have any kids that lived? ’ ’ maybe you will, maybe you won’t. ’ ’ i wasn’t that scared. i wasn’t. sincerely. ’ ’ don’t pay any attention to those fools. ’ ’ are you all right, young man/lady? ’ ’ hey lardass, how was your trip? ’ ’ that was the all-time train dodge! ’ ’ you were so scared you looked like that fat guy. ’ ’ you come on and try it, you slimy bastard. ’ ’ you watch your mouth, smart guy! let him do his own fighting. ’ ’ from the racks and stacks, it’s the best on wax! ’ ’ we’re just here to take a couple steelhead out of the river. ’ ’ come on, man, we’re gonna be famous! ’ ’ we’re gonna be on every radio and tv show in the country! ’ ’ now i’m gonna state mine: get in the fucking car, now! ’ ’ okay… you’ve stated your position clearly. ’ ’ when they gonna give up? the kid’s gone. ’ ’ they ain’t never gonna find him/her. ’ ’ would you hold still? you’re making me fuck up the snake part. ’ ’ some hunter’s gonna go in the woods to take a leak, wind up pissing on his bones. ’ ’ i bet you a thousand bucks they’ll find him/her before then. ’ ’ hey, what’s the big deal? who cares? ’ ’ will you two just shut the fuck up? ’ ’ if either of you assholes had two-thousand dollars, i’d kill you both. ’ ’ why couldn’t you have gotten breakfast stuff? ’ ’ i guess a more experienced shopper could have gotten more for your seven cents. ’ ’ the train had knocked him/her out of his/her keds. ’ ’ you’re gonna be a great writer someday. ’ ’ i’ll be waiting on the other side, relaxing with my thoughts. ’ ’ you use your left hand or right hand to do that? ’ ’ you let him/her beat you, you cock-knocker! ’ ’ what am i supposed to do, think of everything? ’ ’ what did you bring a comb for? you don’t even have any hair! ’ ’ i’m sorry if i’m spoiling everybody’s good time. ’ ’ we’re going to see a dead kid… maybe it shouldn’t be a party. ’ ’ you know what that means. next year we’ll all be split up. ’ ’ what are you talking about? why would that happen? ’ ’ no, man. don’t say that. don’t even think that. ’ ’ i told you we should of stuck to the tracks. ’ ’ is it me, or are you the world’s biggest pussy? ’ ’ i suppose this is fun for you? ’ ’ i still think we should call the cops. ’ ’ it’s best we just keep our mouths shut. ’ ’ we could make a ‘nonymous call. ’ ’ they trace those calls, stupid. ’ ’ you’re a real asshole, you know that? ’ ’ i know you didn’t mean to insult my friend. ’ ’ why don’t you tell me something i don’t know, asshole? ’ ’ any of you guys know when the next train is due? ’ ’ the kid wasn’t sick. the kid wasn’t sleeping. the kid was dead. ’

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Like a river flows so surely to the sea, oh my darling so it goes; Some things are meant to be.

ron weasley // drunk by ed sheeran

Happy Birthday Ronald Bilius Weasley

1 March, 1980

— Happy Birthday to Ronald Bilius Weasley

Happy Birthday to a true knight-Ronald Bilius Weasley.

Mean Girls meets: Harry Potter (part 1)

[text] When I’m not with you, my heart hurts. [text] At some point, the phrase “I’ve hit rock bottom” became less of a figure of speech and more of the general state of my life. [text] I thought being with you would make me happy - I was wrong. [text] I should have known that when you said you still wanted to be friends, you didn’t mean it. [text] So, what, are you just not going to talk to me ever again? [text] How did we go from talking every single day to … this? [text] You know, you not answering my calls or texts is a testament to how much of a coward you really are. [text] I don’t like to leave loose ends and I realized I needed to live up to my own problems and insecurities. [text] You owe me a fucking apology. [text] We used to be best friends - where did it go wrong? [text] I can’t be without you. Please don’t do this to me. [text] (He/she/they) told me what you said, you asshole. [text] What the hell is wrong with you!? [text] Why the fuck would you do something like that? [text] YOU’RE A RUDE BITCH AND I HOPE YOU STUB YOUR TOE LATER TODAY [text] Thank you for finally showing me the truth about you. The truth is, you’re a dick. [text] Fact: You’re adorable. Also fact: You stink at board games. But I love you. [text] I’m a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. I’M DOOMED. [text] Can you and your overnight guest maybe keep it down? I’m trying to sleep. [text] I’m bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff. [text] Listen, I may be naive, but I know what it means when they send that eggplant emoji. [text] YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT’S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON [text] I think after tonight I’m 85% lesbian [text] So at what point of the night are we going to decide everyone at this party sucks and we should just fuck each other? [text] Sorry your girlfriend got you a present and you forgot to get her one. How long will your dick be dry? [text] You need to get home NOW. The oven is on fire and the fire department is officially ignoring my calls. HELP! [text]I’m sitting on the couch at 2 AM eating fried chicken in my underwear. Who is the real winner here? [text] I am not ubering you a puppy. [text] If you bring me coffee and a greasy breakfast sandwich, I’ll love you forever. [text] Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire? [text] Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn’t mean you can act like a nudist. [text] The only things I am doing today are things one can do without wearing a bra. [text] I’m a grown woman and just cried because we ran out of Cheetos. I have PMS. Bring Cheetos to my place, or die. [text] I’ll eat brunch alone. No ones good enough when you’re not around [text] The worst thing about living at your parents’ place again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up booty calls. [text] You are probably the most infuriating person I’ve ever met…but you’re weirdly sexy. What I’m saying, is come over. [text] Please don’t bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won’t get confused. [text] How could (he/she/they) not like you!? You’re like, annoying relatable. Like Jennifer Lawrence. [text] Who says you can’t have Reese’s Cups for breakfast? Fucking losers, that’s who. [text] If your (boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other) finds a random like on an Instagram post from 64 weeks ago, that was me. Oops. [text] The only thing I crossed off my to do list today was get high. I’m going places. [text] (He/she/they) is a total bitch and a crappy party host so I stole their dog. It likes me better. [text] I feel like I cold have been bitchier and missed an opportunity. [text] I’m only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar. [text] Would you think less of me if I told you I was eating pizza on the toilet right now? [text] THE LAST STRAW WAS YOU CHANGING THE NETFLIX PASSWORD [text] Dude, what’s wrong with me? I’m like a strong independent woman and shit. [text] DON’T YOU DARE PUT YOURSELF DOWN YOU’RE A BEAUTIFUL BITCH AND ANYONE WOULD BE LUCKY TO BE WITH YOU YOU [text] I’m just so full of love and alcohol [text] WHY WOULD YOU DRUNK DIAL MY HOUSE PHONE YOU IDIOT

Ron, he saw, was now holding Hermione and stroking her hair while she sobbed into his shoulder, tears dripping from the end of his own long nose.

♀ proposing marriage