Untitled

#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled

Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).

Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.

Is it a glitch or a feature?

Feature

this neat feature is called collocative substitution, and it occurs when certain words are strongly linked to certain context and/or phrases. when you read/hear a pair of words that usually wouldn’t go together, your brain fills in the context with what would normally be inferred, given the originally phrased pairing. thus, finding out that there’s a term for this phenomenon may indeed leave you utterly sandwiched. lesser known or less strongly linked phrases and pairings may not be able to translate substituted words to appropriately fit the inferred context, so you were not utterly floorboarded at the club last night, but rather you were absolutely floorboarded, and as this explanation continues to drag on, you may by the end of it find yourself completely coathangered from read it all.

I, like all linguists I have met or even heard of, have a deep intricate love-hate relationship with the English Language because of complete and total coathangering like this

@jellyfishdirigible you may have refound this already but

entranced recently not by “i can fix him” or “i can make him worse” but the “something deeply wrong with him and i want to be around as like a spectator when the car crash inevitably happens” dynamic

Hope people who know nothing about death note understand the human boy is the deeply unhinged one in this duo.

ryuk knew from the beginning too

casts a little spell that materializes a blunt on the hand of every affected creature in a large aoe

Spell: Mass Conjure Blunt

do drugs jack off kill yourself then wake up in the morning and have a cup of cawfie n eat some cigarettes

love seeing two species being like ‘whoa the fuck the fuck this is amazing’ 

If you see an Irish person speaking on European C-SPAN you know it's about to be a banger

it’s me Taako, I’m your sister, speaking to you from inside your umbrella, listen to me boy, betray lucretia, we don’t need her. go with barry and do what he says. you need him Taako your free will is an illusion

read this read this read this read this read this read this read this

Read this. In its entirety.

please read this article. and share it with your dumbass facebook relatives who always want to “see both sides”, because here it is straight from a pig’s mouth

Since Medium is a bitch and only gives you a certain number of free articles, here’s this article as a pdf with the links at the end included.

does anyone else think it's a little weird that they found the former president's ex wife dead at the bottom of a staircase during the capitol riot hearing where they revealed the former president had been engaging in witness tampering