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@gringotrash

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Honestly I was so delusional that I didn’t have bipolar disorder 1, that now having the diagnosis reapplied to my record feels very weird…. I mean, it explains why I lost countless jobs; and why I’ve lost touch with reality so many times, but I’m genuinely still shocked. Even thought this diagnosis has followed me since 2019/2020 after the high speed police chases, the driving off a 65 foot bridge, walking out of jobs impulsively, taking my life on the job and ruining an RN career and simultaneously becoming a felon, with 14 pending charges on my record at one point in a single year. It all makes sense now. I wish I was medicated and treated properly. I feel like healthcare failed me but again I am cunning as well so I can’t fully point to one causation. Also having AuDHD + PTSD on top of it all, makes me really prone to stress / overstimulation. Just saying it out loud what’s up I got four psychiatric diagnosis’…..sounds over the top
Bro I just got mad lucky lemme tell youuuuuuuuuu
When the keyboard starts swirling you know it’s time to sleep

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"Capitalism tends to destroy its two sources of wealth: Nature and Human Beings"
Karl Marx
Living as a female then a male and now a secret third thing is such a blessing of perspective and lived experience…
Autism Meltdown vs. ADHD Meltdown
Ascent Autism

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accepting that relationships are here to make you conscious instead of happy transforms your connections into a powerful spiritual tool for self-mastery. Instead of demanding that a partner fulfill or complete you, you use friction and conflict as mirrors to see your own unconscious patterns.
What This Shift Means
Releasing the Illusion: Expecting a relationship to make you happy always leads to frustration because people cannot save you from your inner state.
Welcoming the Trigger: When a relationship gets difficult or fails to work smoothly, it exposes your ego and hidden emotional pain.
The End of Blame: You stop trying to fix your partner or project fault outward, realizing their behavior is simply a trigger for your own awakening.
How Relationships Become a Tool
Observing Reactions: When you feel upset, you watch your emotional reaction instead of blindly acting it out or projecting it.
Embracing the Present:Unconsciousness cannot survive long when brought into the light of pure awareness and alert presence.
Finding Freedom: Aligning with this purpose brings a deep, unshakable peace, turning everyday relationship struggles into your greatest spiritual teacher.
🍏☕️…
Defining yourself through thought is limiting because it traps your identity in a rigid, past-based mental story instead of your living reality. Your mind-made labels create a small, fake self that blocks true freedom.
The Trap of Mental Labels
The mind story: You build an identity using past wins, losses, roles, and labels.
Constant defense: A thought-based self constantly fears loss, failure, or disrespect.
Ignored reality: Thinking about who you are replaces the actual experience of being alive right now.
Finding Freedom Beyond Thought
The observer: You are not the voice in your head; you are the awareness that hears it.
Pure presence: True life is found in stillness and present awareness, far away from mental noise.
Dropping definitions: Letting go of how you define yourself brings peace and lets you truly experience life.
“How spiritual you are has nothing to do with what you believe but everything to do with your state of consciousness.”
—Eckhart Tolle

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