i make no apologies for how i chose to repair what you broke.  ( ... )   a private single-muse portrayal of meredith grey by mara.   blog originally made in 2021,  revamped in 2026.    affiliated with demetrius’ derek shepherd.   guidelines.        mains.   

❝        okay, welll       .    .   .         levi,      that's         that's  a  terrible idea     .    .    .       ❞            meredith’s voice comes out somewhere between amused and horrified,                         the kind of exhausted laugh that only really exists at three in the morning under fluorescent hospital she’s still holding a patient chart against her chest,     fingers curled around the edge of it like it’s the only thing keeping her upright after a sixteen-hour shift.                  and yet, despite herself,   she's smiling.    which is annoying.      because levi has been in this hospital for approximately five minutes and has already become a problem.        ❝     you     you cannot distract me,  while i'm holding someone's spleen scan  ...            i feel like there’s probably a rule about that  !        maybe in the hippocratic oath...    ❞     she says it quickly, almost defensively, like if she keeps talking she won’t notice the way he’s looking at her. because that’s the real issue, honestly.  (the looking.) the stupid, shameless, way he does it. meredith’s hand lifts toward the back of her neck, fingers brushing loose strands of hair away as she exhales softly through her nose. she’s tired. she’s running on coffee and surgical adrenaline and approximately four hours of sleep. ❝       also,    bribing surgical interns is probably illegal, or  unethical,   or,               you really  get on my nerves you know that ?         (....)  FINE! (okay, okay),   i'm accepting this because i haven’t eaten since yesterday and i’m ninety percent sure my blood type is caffeine now.     ❞ @lycaea

𝘪𝘵’𝘴… 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘰𝘧𝘧. not when the halls still echo with it, not when every sharp noise feels like it might be 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 shot, not when your body hasn’t quite realized it’s allowed to be alive again. it’s strange— how the hospital looks the same, how the floors are still polished, how the lights still hum overhead— and yet everything feels 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠. meredith doesn’t remember deciding to stop walking. doesn’t remember when her hands curled into fists at her sides, or when her breathing turned shallow enough to make her chest ache. she just knows she’s standing there now, staring at april, watching the way the girl shakes her head like denial alone could rewrite what happened. ❝ 𝘢𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘭… ❞ (no, no you're wrong) almost wishes this could be something simple. something fixable. something they could cut open and 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫 her gaze flickers, not quite able to stay still, the walls, the floor, the space between them, anywhere but the memory of it. ❝ 𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦, 𝘪 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘰. a whisper of her voice as she relives it, the memory of the shooter. it doesn’t crack. but there’s something underneath it, something 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲, something that lingers in the spaces between her words. 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦, 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘴 . . . (she blinks, at she can feel her hand in april's, can feel her holding it so tight, meredith's fingers stretch and she thinks of sitting outside the or, in agony. with her.) ❝  𝘸𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯’𝘵.            april,     we have to be strong.    ❞ @excaliabur <3

i loved greys last ep :) 

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