=^._.^=

II.

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last chapter

tags: slow burn, medical drama, mystery

Dr. Samantha Foster treated the latest victim in a case Detective Turner is working on.

word count: 3,172

⌖ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ⌖

10:20am

By the time I made it out of the hospital, the sun was up. Kind of insulting that it’s shining so bright after the night I had. Or rather, the night poor Chris had. A ray of light sprawled across my cheek and warmed it up - a stark contrast to the bitter London wind needling my skin. I sighed. No matter what, the earth keeps spinning, and the sun will always rise and set. One day at a time. I unlocked my trusty old Toyota and just sat in the seat for a while, not even starting the car to warm it up. Just sitting. I can’t stop thinking about his face. Even unconscious, Chris’ face bore the weight of such pain and anguish. I can’t even begin to imagine what events led him into my ED and my hands. Death is such a hard stop, and there’s nothing in this world that can stop it when it passes a certain point. As a doctor, it sickens me that there isn’t more that I can do. I can’t be a miraculous force that stops such an absolute process, an absolute end. I’ve spent years and thousands of dollars on trying to help even just the slightest. I can feel my shoulders carrying the weight of this day. God, I need a hot shower. 

I finally start my car. It makes a noise, telling me it is also not fond of this weather. I pat the steering wheel, hoping to soothe the machine through the first little bit of run time. The drive home melted together and by the time I got to my apartment, I couldn’t even remember taking the last turn onto my street. The night I just had felt like such a distant memory, but still leaving a heavy presence on my subconscious. 

I stepped into my apartment, kicked off my shoes and threw my bag and jacket onto the chair beside the door. I stood there, taking in the room. Just as I left it, but somehow more silent than it was 13 hours ago. Sunlight pouring in from the cracked curtain, illuminating the dust on the baseboards that I’ve neglected to sweep for longer than I want to admit. I walk past the bathroom, stopping to stare at myself in the mirror. My hair is a mess, my mascara is smudged under my eyes a bit, making my dark circles look even deeper. Borderline unrecognizable. Chris’ blood is still speckling my lab coat. I changed my scrubs, but this whisper of his life, or rather the loss of his life, remained. I stared for a while longer, a twinge of guilt thumping in my chest. Oh, life. 

The steam from the shower running fills the small bathroom, fogging the mirror. I stand under the water motionless, letting it run over me, hoping, praying that its hot enough to wash away this feeling that I can’t seem to shake. I can’t get his face out of my head. I can’t stop thinking about what I didn’t do and what I could’ve done. A tear ran down my cheek, feeling colder than the water surrounding me. 

When I finally decided that my skin couldn’t become any more pink from the water, I stepped out and immediately wrapped myself in a towel. The frigid air of my apartment engulfed me. Such a stark change from the decadent warmth of the shower. The fog on the mirror began to dissipate. I catch myself. No more makeup but the dark circles are still there. Eyes tired and blood shot. My dark hair now flatter against the top of my head. The shower hadn’t done what I hoped. 

I shuffle myself to the kitchen, stomach rumbling with every step. I take a peek at my 3-day leftovers in the fridge, suddenly losing any appetite I had, so I settle for a nice big glass of water instead. I sit at the counter, my mind racing with too many thoughts and also none at the same time. I set the glass down and rest my head next to it. I take a deep breath into my lungs, the smell of my clean clothes filling my nose. I glance at my phone set face up on the surface. No notifications. I think back to the sweet girl I had treated in the early hours of the morning. I can’t help but think that had she had a support system, someone to talk to, she’d be in a better situation, and not locked in a psych ward in a strange place with strange people surrounding her. How can anyone go through this life without a friend?

I sigh and pick my head up. The thought of Alex pops into the severe weather system that are my thoughts. Strong, unrelenting, and hungry for truth. He carries the burden of knowledge the same way I do. We come face to face with the best and worst days of people’s lives. We know their ins and outs, and we learn so much about their character. As much of a privilege it is, it’s also a great load to bear. Yet, he does it with much more grace than I imagine I do. He sets the example. 

I begrudgingly pull myself out of my seated position and flop myself into my bed. I make sure to set an alarm so I don’t sleep myself through work. Only 6 hours of sleep before I need to be up. I mean, its an adequate amount, but I wish I had more after this day. 

My sleep is interrupted by the buzzing and ringing of my phone on the nightstand. I popped an eye open, unbelievably irritated. There’s no way in hell its already time for me to be awake. I grab my phone, sneering at it for making me wake up. Private number. Hm… 

“This is Dr. Foster.” I grumble into the phone. 

“Hey, Doc. It’s Alex. Did I wake you?” His accented voice rang into my ears. I sat up. How did he get my number? I glance at the clock. 1:34pm. You’ve got to be kidding me. 

“That depends,” My voice slightly less grumpy than it was when I answered. “Are you calling to tell me you’ve made an arrest and you can close the case?”

He paused. I smirked. 

“No.”

I sighed and flopped myself back onto my pillow. 

“Then yes, Detective, you woke me.” I heard a light chuckle from him. 

“Sorry, Doc.” I could hear the smile in his voice, and it irritated me. 

“Well, what is so important that you needed to wake me at his ungodly hour?” 

“Its 1:30 in the afternoon.” 

“Don’t argue.” Another chuckle. 

“Preliminary autopsy report is finished.” He stated. I paused. 

“Okay? Why are you calling me then? Dr. Adamson is a more than competent medical examiner.” He cleared his throat. 

“He’s got 3 more autopsies to finish today and he told me he doesn’t have time to walk a cop through pages of medical terminology.” I laugh. 

“So you’re just asking me to translate, huh?” I rubbed my eyes. 

“No, I’m asking you for help.”

I paused briefly, then swung my legs over my bed.

“What did he find?” I asked, scrambling to find my scrubs that I threw on a pile of clothes somewhere.

“There are things that don’t line up with what we initially thought.”

Another pause. What?

“Okay, like what?” I heard papers rustling on the other end. 

“I’d rather not go over them on the phone.” I sigh. 

“You do realize I left that place just 3 hours ago.” 

“Yeah… Trust me, I wouldn’t call if it wasn’t important. Please.” His voice softened with that last word. Damn it. 

I stood and stared out the window. Everyone else’s life going by, so unaffected by my own problems. I sighed and rested my forehead against the cool glass. 

“Fine. I hope this is worth dragging my ass out of bed for.”

“Me too.” He said, quiet. The light, almost amused tone of his now gone. My stomach tightened. It wasn’t fear, it wasn’t sadness, it was concern. 

“I’ll be there soon.” I spoke with conviction.

“Thank you, Sam.” The line went quiet. 

I stood there, still in front of the window. Less than 3 hours of sleep, a dead 24-year-old, and a detective calling me out of the blue. This is so not what I signed up for. 

I tossed my phone onto my bed, and continued to look for my scrubs. Might as well get dressed for my shift. No point in coming back home. Fuck, I should’ve just said no, any other reasonable, strictly business doctor would’ve said no. But of course I just have to care so much. 

“Idiot…” I mutter to myself, pulling my scrub top over my head. Surprisingly, the quiet room had nothing to say in response. 

I looked myself over in the mirror. Somehow, my reflection is even worse than it was when I got home. Jesus… I washed my face, hoping to get the exhaustion off it. Alex’s words echoed in my head. 

There are things that don’t line up with what we initially thought.

What could it be? Defensive wounds? Invisible injuries? Foreign object in the body? I shook my head at that last thought. 

I grabbed my jacket and bag and ran out the door, barely remembering to lock it. 

2:28pm

The entrance to the hospital appeared in my line of vision much sooner than I was hoping for it to just hours earlier. It looks the same as before, all grey and brooding, matching the hue of the sky above it perfectly. The parking lot was much more occupied, however. Nurses and doctors coming in to start their day, visitors with gifts and balloons, and ambulances pulling into the bay. Life continuing. 

I parked and sat in my car for a moment, my stomach growling. I sighed. I should’ve just eaten those damn leftovers. I drag myself out of my car and start the short walk to the doors. The exhaustion that usually occurs during this walk is replaced with something else I can’t quite put my finger on. I hate the connotations of that. I need to now what happened to Chris, and I’m excited to see Alex again, which just feels so stupid in retrospect. 

“Damn it, get a grip.” I whisper to myself as I approach the doors. 

The automatic doors slid open and I got a whiff of disinfectant and cafeteria hit my nose immediately, which just made my stomach rumble yet again. Ugh. 

I walk as fast as I can without looking frantic to get to pathology, smiling at my colleagues as I fly past them. I catch the silhouette of Sean out of the corner of my eye sitting at a cafeteria table. He sees me too but I’m going much too fast for him to stop me. As much as I’d love to chat with him, the desire to read Chris’ autopsy report keeps me from turning around. 

I round the corner of the morgue and find Alex standing with his sleeves rolled past his elbows and a paper coffee cup in his hand, the other holding his phone to his ear. He had a file tucked under his arm. He swayed slowly back and forth as he continued his conversation. His tie hung loosely around his neck, and the circles around his eyes matched mine. His eyes met mine and he stilled for a moment before giving me a brief smile. I can’t help but notice how effortlessly handsome he looked in this moment. 

“Alright, thank you. I’ll call you back when I know more.” He ended his phone call. “Hey, Doc. Nice of you to join me.” He quipped. 

“Yeah. Can I have that?” I gesture to his cup of coffee. He looks at it, then back at me. 

“Don’t you have coffee in your break room?” I scoffed. 

“Do you see a break room anywhere around here?” I stared at him. The crinkles around his eyes deepened as he donned a slight smile that didn’t quite reach his lips. He handed me the coffee. 

“You look like you need it more than me anyway.” I glared at him over the top of the cup as I sipped. The warmth of the coffee settled in my stomach immediately. He turned away to hide his smirk from me but it wasn’t successful. 

“Oh, I can leave you here and have you wait for Dr. Adamson, if that’s what you’d prefer.” He turned back to face me and laughed. 

“Alright, alright.” He was laughing more silently now, but his shoulders were still jerking quietly. 

“Give me that.” I swipe the file from under his arm and open it up. “Since you’re not gonna tell me anything anyway.” I mutter. My eyes scan the pages. 

Massive blood loss, severed hepatic artery, and a fatal liver laceration. All congruent with what he came into the hospital with. I turned the page, and frowned. 

“Well? Talk to me.” Alex’s voice interrupted my reading. 

I continued before responding to him. Multiple healed rib fractures, blatant evidence of prior abdominal trauma, and various other contusions, all in different stages of healing. Dr. Adamson couldn’t determine the exact dates, but he concluded that the injuries didn’t all happen at the same time. Some weeks old and some just days before he came into the hospital. Some of the rib fractures were years old, but definitely caused by some sort of blunt trauma. Like fists or feet. 

“He’s taken beatings before.” Alex nodded. I continued. “Repeatedly.” 

I flipped to another page. Dr. Adamson included photos. I winced at the sight of Chris’ face. I didn’t need to look at them long, the report was detailed enough. 

“Someone’s been hurting him for a long time. Years.” I say quietly. Alex remained silent, finally taking a seat. 

“I thought these kids were being recruited, told to do some jobs, and then gotten rid of when they eventually learn too much… Now you’re telling me its been longer than that?” His jaw tightens. I give him a look of sympathy. I can’t even imagine how much this complicates things for him. 

24 years old. Repeated injuries. Consistent violence. No one noticing. No one stopping it. No one caring enough about this young man. 

I continued through the report, my heart beginning to thump harder once my eyes caught the tail end of the physical exam. I blinked and read it over twice. 

I flip the file over to show Alex, pointing at the line I wanted him to look at. 

There are several small holes in the victim’s left antecubital fossa, consistent with hypodermic needles. These needles are not consistent with treatment received by a care team. The gauge of the needle is much too small, and due to his prior blood loss, the emergency staff used large gauge intravenous needles, and even an intraosseous line.The conclusion reached, based on blood pooling around the wounds is that he had been injected with one, or several, just hours before arriving at the hospital. Whether they are self inflicted, or otherwise is unable to be determined. The manner of death has been ruled a homicide. 

I watched his face as he read. His jaw tightened even further, and his shoulders were rising and falling with his breathing more rapidly. 

“You’re kidding.” I shake my head slowly. The findings are as clear as day. 

Recent needle marks, not from our treatment in the ED, not from paramedics, and too fresh to have happened weeks ago with some of his older injuries. He had been drugged with something just before he arrived in my emergency department. 

“Is this for sure?” He said, still staring at the page. 

“Yeah.” I sighed. 

“So somebody injected him before he got to you.”

“Mere hours before.” Silence swept the room. My mind began racing. What is the purpose of giving Chris something before killing him? Was it an unsuccessful attempt to kill him so they had to stab him? I don’t want to wait longer for the toxicology report. “Do you think he had a drug habit? Maybe he did it himself?” Alex glanced up at me. 

“Maybe.” A pause. “My gut is saying no though. It’s never that simple with people like this.”

I slide the report back into the file and hand it back to Alex. He gave me a small smile, but quickly replaced it with a frown. 

“There’s one more thing.” The serious tone of his voice made my stomach tighten. 

“What?” I almost didn’t want to ask. 

“Dr. Adamson called me just before I called you.” My brows furrowed. 

“Okay…?” 

“He said someone called his office this morning asking if the autopsy had been completed.” I stared blankly at him, a chill creeping down my spine. 

“Who?” 

“That’s the thing. They didn’t leave a name. Dr. Adamson’s receptionist pressed for one, but the caller hung up once she started asking questions.” Alex stood. The hum of the fluorescent lights filled my ears as my thoughts screamed in my head. 

Someone wanted information about Chris and fast. On the outside, he was just a regular guy, but clearly he had secrets. Alex was watching me, no doubt noticing how my expression changed as I came to the realization that the people who did this to him know where I work, and probably know that I treated him. What would’ve happened to me if I had saved him? If he began talking?

“Could be nothing. Maybe a crime junkie with a police scanner.” I raised my eyebrows at him. “You don’t believe that.”

“No.”

He sighed as his expression softened at me. He glanced towards the door and took a step closer to me. 

“Y’know, with all of this new information, and with you being closer to the investigation than I would’ve liked, I need you to do me a favour.” He looked down to meet my eyes. The smell of his cologne, and the stolen coffee filled my nose. I could feel my cheeks heating up. 

“I need you to call me if something feels off. Anything at all, even if its probably nothing. If I don’t answer the first time, call again.”

“Alex-“ I tried to protest, even though my pulse was quickening at the thought of him coming to my rescue. 

“I’m serious, Sam.” Concern flooded his tone., firm and calm The kind that only comes with experience. I stare at him for a moment before finally conceding. 

“Fine.” I sounded much more displeased than I actually was. I’ve always looked out for myself. I’ve never really had anyone wanting to know where I am and actually caring. Not since my parents did when I was a kid. It feels nice. 

“Good.” 

He wasn’t just worried about solving the case anymore. 

I.

masterlist

ao3 link

tags: slow burn, medical drama, mystery

Dr. Samantha Foster treated the latest victim in a case Detective Turner is working on.

word count: 2,574

⌖ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ⌖

4:15am

Silence at last. 

A criminally brief rest in the on-call room should rejuvenate me, right? Hm.. never been known for my optimism. Worth a shot. 

I have no idea how I’ll even rest after that psych case. Poor girl couldn’t even say what was wrong. The sedation didn’t help either. It breaks my heart when kids are in so much misery so young. They should be carefree at 14 years old. When I was 14, I was back home with my family, and the only things that mattered to me were them, what I was going to wear to the semi-formal dance, and what mom was making for dinner that night. How does this go unnoticed? Why does it seem like no one cares until the situation becomes dire? How can we allow these kids to slip through so often?

“Hey Sam, we’ve got one 2 minutes out.” Val, the night nurse opened the door a crack. I jumped. 

“Okay, I’m coming.” I didn’t even get to lay down yet. Not that it would’ve made me less tense. She nodded and left the door open. Back to the rat race. 

The hallway feels quieter that it did moments ago before I tucked myself away in that room. Faces more grim. The 4am Blues is what I like to call it. Shift is ending and we’re all feeling it. I would never say this out loud, but I am entirely relieved that the waiting room is calm for now. Ambulance arrivals take such a toll on the staff on nights like these. By the looks on everyone’s faces, this one isn’t going to be an easy one either. The paramedics are here. 

“Talk to me, Sean.” I take my stethoscope off from around my shoulders. Sean is on a young man’s chest, sweat beading on his forehead. 

“24 year old male, lost his pulse en-route, severe abdominal trauma, possible hepatic artery damage, no drugs given. Lots of blood loss, at least a litre and a half.” Sean panted, a strand of dark hair falling in his face, a smear of blood on his cheek. I checked the monitor, no rhythm but that of compressions. “His name is Chris.”

“Alright, Chris, we’ve got you.” Sean flicked his eyes at me for a moment. I know he most likely can’t hear me but he deserves to be treated like he can. I wrapped my hand around the patient’s ankle, feeling for a posterior tibial pulse, for anything. “Fluids?”

“Can’t get a vein, needed to do compressions before I could even think of an IO.” Not good. 

“Hold compressions.” I placed the diaphragm of my stethoscope onto Chris’ chest. No breath sounds, no cardiac sounds. “Get a tube in him and start bagging now, I need to get an IO in.”

Val and the nurses acted fast and precise moving the gurney to a trauma bay. Val paged the blood bank. Sean hopped off Chris and helped us move him onto the bed. Sean stared at the man he’s been trying to save. 

“Get him on the monitors and start on another IO, we need to push fluids until blood gets down here.” The steady beeps from the work of Val filled my ears. I looked at the worried expression of the young, blue-eyed man in front of me. “Go sit, Sean. We’ve got him. I’ll find you soon.” I instructed. He nodded. He’s only 21, a new graduate. He reminds me of myself in med school. 

I grabbed the IO drill and kit out of the drawer and gloved up. The nurses resumed compressions and started prepping his other leg for another line. I pressed my fingers into Chris’ shin. Good spot here. I squeezed out betadine over the site. The colour washed over the sickly pale skin. I start the drill into the bone. It got through to the marrow quickly. I placed the line, the blood aspirated slightly back through the clear tube. Good. I grabbed saline to flush the line before the epinephrine. I pushed the drug nice and steady then flushed again. 

“Hold.” I placed my stethoscope back on Chris, my eyes flicked from the monitors to his face. Come on, come on… Nothing. Fuck. “Pushing more epi.”

Val switched places with another nurse, her chest heaving. As I screwed the syringe onto the line, I heard a voice coming from the ambulance bay. 

“Where is he?!” A frantic line of inquiry from this man. I glanced up. A tall brunette in a leather jacket and jeans, his hair ever so slightly disheveled. He must run his his hands through it often. I spotted the badge hung around his neck. A cop. Huh. 

“Don’t let him in here ladies.” I spoke to the room. Val stepped out to investigate. I heard more raised voices but no words came through.

Last push. He’s been down for 15 minutes here already, plus however long he was with the paramedics. Too long either way. My stomach sank as the nurses held one last time. I listened, the hard plastic of my stethoscope pressing into my ears. Absolutely nothing. I pulled the earpieces out and tilted my head back in defeat. The young nurse working on Chris looked at me with wide eyes. 

“You can stop, Sarah. Page the blood bank again, tell them its okay.” I sighed and looked at my watch. “Time of death, 4:38am.” God damn it…

I unscrewed the bag from the tube in Chris’ throat. The nurses left to begin their charting. I stared at him. His skin was pale, his hair curly and clean. I stroked his head. So young. 

“I’m sorry this happened to you… I’m sorry I couldn’t help. You’re gonna be okay now. No more pain, just rest.” I whispered. I took a clean sheet from under the bed and draped it over his body. The floor and sheets under him were soaked in blood. In our efforts to save him, we just continued to pump out whatever remaining blood he had. 

“Dr. Foster.” I looked up. Standing in the door was my attending, Dr. Thomas Reed. His brow was furrowed and his arms crossed. Not anger, but genuine curiosity.  “What happened?” 

“Huge arterial bleed we couldn’t manage. No amount of time would’ve saved him.” I shook my head. “Someone did this to him.”

“I know. I need you to talk to someone about that. London organized crime detectives have been observing a string of crimes like these.” Dr. Reed stated. Why not homicide detectives? “Detective Turner is in the family waiting room, he’d like to have a word.” 

“Now?” I looked at my scrubs. Blood and betadine. Great. 

“Time is of the essence, Dr. Foster.” 

“Understood.” He gave a curt nod and turned to head to his office. I sighed and shed my gloves. I so do not want to have to explain why a potential witness for this crime died in my care to a detective. 

I walk down towards where this Detective Turner was waiting for me. I caught a glimpse of Sean in the medic lounge. His head hung low between his legs, his hands clasped in his hair. I need to see him first. 

“Hey.” I knocked on the doorframe. His eyes met mine. Clearly, I did not hide the truth in my eyes well. 

“He died?” Sean asked, although it sounded much more like a statement. 

“I’m sorry, Sean. I couldn’t have done anything.” I frowned. He shook his head and slouched back into the chair. 

“I know Sam, I know.” He stared at the wall. “I haven’t lost anyone yet.” A whisper. My heart squeezed. 

“You did everything right. I wish I could tell you it gets easier.” I took a seat next to him. “Nothing about this is easy. But it will make you stronger for next time. You will learn something each and every time this happens. Wether its how to cope with it better, or just how to detach more. You can do this.” 

I placed my hand on his shoulder. He smiled, but his brows remained tense. I stood to leave, not another word being said. Silence leads to processing, and processing leads to a strong mind. 

I continue towards the family waiting room. The thought of charting is lingering in the back of my head. Irrelevant currently, but Dr. Reed will be reviewing my notes, as he does for every death under me. The man was successful in medicine very young, and expects the same of his residents, even if it causes immense pressure on top of the job alone. Chris’ face crosses my mind. What was he doing out on the streets at 4 in the morning? Was there an altercation? His face is so kind, how did he manage to make someone so angry? Why did the perpetrator have such a large and deadly weapon?

I enter the family waiting room. I see the same man I saw in the ambulance bay sitting at a table with papers strewn about, his back turned to me. His jacket was no longer on and his badge sat to the left of a pile of paper. I cleared my throat to subtly alert him of my presence. His back straightened and his broad shoulders stiffened. He craned his neck behind him to see me. His eyes stilled on the dark patch of blood on me, but didn’t react. He stood and stepped closer with his hand outstretched, expression unreadable. Stiff lipped and eyebrows furrowed, scowling almost. His brown eyes were angry and full of thought. He must be wracking his brain the exact same way I was. 

“I’m Alex. You’re Dr. Foster I gather.” He spoke, voice deep and accented. I accepted his handshake. Firm and steady. His eyes lingered on mine and I found it hard to maintain the the eye contact.  

“Sam. Nice to meet you, Detective.” He smiles slightly and nods. Not one for words it seems. 

“I need to talk to you about Chris Brooks.” His expression turned serious after he uttered the name. I swallowed. 

“My knowledge is limited.” I admitted. “I essentially just know details of his injuries and what was done to try to save him.” He nods. 

“Don’t worry Doc, I wasn’t planning on hearing his autobiography.” He stated casually. My brows raised slightly at the boldness of using a nickname. I didn’t think he’d be so blunt, but it makes sense to a degree, I suppose. 

“Sure. What is it that you need to know?” I tried to stay composed and to the point. He’s making me feel nervous, which is incredibly bizarre. His eyes have such an intensity behind them, its almost disorienting. 

“How did he die?” Blunt yet again. “What other wounds were on him?”

“Large stab would on his upper right abdomen, under the ribs. The weapon appeared to transverse the liver itself and the hepatic artery. Perhaps the weapon was a long, wide bladed knife, no serration. The wound in the skin was clean and straight.” I recited. He nodded thoughtfully as he wrote notes of his own. 

“Drugs or anything in the system? Bruises?” 

“I didn’t gather blood, you’ll have to wait for the autopsy for that. As for bruises, I didn’t see any on his face but I saw some on his stomach. Kicked to and on the ground maybe? You can come take a look at him if they haven’t taken him to the morgue yet.” Alex looked up at me. 

“Really? I overheard you tell the nurse to not let me in.” The corner of his mouth twitched every so slightly. I scoffed. 

“At that moment, yes. Come on, I’ll bring you over to him.” The frown on my lips lifted faintly. I turned out of the waiting room and led him to Chris. He was close behind me, matching my stride. His shoes sound heavy on the floor. 

I pulled the curtain open and gently folded down the sheet that was over Chris’ face. He looked paler than he did before. I frowned again. So young, so much life left to live. 

“A damn shame.” Alex muttered. I nodded. “We’ve been tracking a group targeting young men. They’ll recruit them, get them to run for them, and then brutalize them when they start to want out, and of course they’ll want out after that.” I pondered.

“How many?” I questioned. 

“Chris makes 4. Too many, and there will be more if I don’t so something about it soon.” His eyes were full of fury and sorrow. I felt a sense of knowing. I feel the same way when I get stabbings or gunshots unrelated to white collar crime. Just random violence.

“Hmm. How close are you?” I tucked Chris back in. I don’t want him to be any colder than he needs to be. I know he can’t tell the difference but he deserves to be treated like he does. Alex watched my hands bring the blanket back up. Slowly and gingerly. 

“Not as close as I’d like to be. I’m not even certain who the kingpin is. I need time, but men are dying. They don’t have the luxury of time that I need.” He shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair again. The bags under his eyes looked puffier in the trauma bay lighting. I imagine he hasn’t slept much lately. 

“I hope Chris gets you answers.” I touch Chris’ forehead. Alex squeezes his shoulder. 

“Me too.” He sighed. “I gotta get going, Doc. Thanks a lot for your help tonight.” He stood and smiled at me. I returned the smile at the moniker he’s chosen for me. 

“Of course, I want justice.” I stood to match him. He smiled sadly, the small twinkle in his eye disappearing. 

“I wish it was as easy as just wanting it.” I frowned. He handed me a piece of paper with the City of London Police logo on it. “Call me if you think of anything else that you find. I’ll be back after the autopsy tomorrow.” I smiled and nodded. The thought of seeing him again was making my stomach flip. His fingers brushed mine as he pulled his hand away from the card. I sucked in a breath sharply. His hands are so much warmer than mine. 

“I will. Thank you, Detective.” 

“Alex, please.” He smiled. It seemed pained. Maybe not something he does too often. I hope he didn’t notice my blushing.

“Right. Thank you, Alex.” I turned my face away from him. He can’t know that this is how I’m reacting to his actions, but there’s something so untouchable about him that makes me want to learn so much more. 

“See you tomorrow.” He grabbed his coat before exiting the room, not looking back at me. I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding in. 

I stood still until I couldn’t hear his footsteps in the hallway. I smoothed out my scrubs, forgetting about the stains on me. I make note to take a trip to the dispenser. My pager beeps. I read the screen. 

911 - ED TRAUMA BAY

tetsuro kuroo - haikyuu!

kinktober 2023

masterlist

summary: kuroo gets a little rough with you

warnings: smut, swearing

word count: 876

He wrapped his arms around your waist as soon as you got home. He took an inhale of your hair. He could smell your perfume mixed with your shampoo and he loved it. 

“Mmm. I missed you.” He mumbled into your hair. 

“Tetsu, I wasn’t even gone for two hours.” You laughed. 

“I know, but still…” He hoisted you up over his shoulder. You shrieked with laughter. “You’re coming with me.” His voice was deeper. 

He carried you up the stairs like that and flopped you onto the bed with a grunt. He stared down at you with darkened eyes. You smirked up at him, knowing exactly what he was thinking. 

“Come on, baby. Take all that off for me.” He gestured to your sweater and jeans. You quickly obliged, leaving yourself in just your panties while your clothes were strewn about on the floor.

He pounced onto the bed and began kissing your lips before quickly moving down to your neck. He knew just the spot that was the most sensitive and it left you covered in goosebumps. He noticed as he felt them against his lips. You whimpered under him with every kiss he left on you. He quickly reached down between your legs and pushed his long fingers inside of you. The sensation left you breathless as he moved them in and out at an unforgiving pace.

“Please…” You whined. 

“Hm, please what, love?” He never let up his pace so it made it hard to form words. 

“Use me… Please.” You bucked you hips against his hand. As amazing as that felt, it just wasn’t enough. You needed all of him inside you. 

“Anything for my pretty girl.” He chuckled. His fingers left your needy hole before he pulled himself out of his sweats. He was already rock hard. You knew what you did to him though. He’s never been able to resist you. 

He wasted no time in covering his tip in your slick and pushing his throbbing cock deep and hard inside you. You cried out from the abrupt fullness inside. He let out a long and deep groan. He’s never been able to keep himself quiet with you. 

“Fuck, baby. Always so ready for me.” He kissed your neck. He stayed in for a minute, relishing in how warm and tight you felt around him. 

He pulled out and then thrust immediately back in, hitting that sweet spot inside every single time. He knew just the perfect angle. The sound of skin slapping and moans filled the room and it was sinfully delicious. His hand snaked around your throat and pressed. The lack of blood flow to your brain made the pleasure that much more amplified. You felt every one of his movements all over your body and it was unwavering. 

“Turn around for me.” He demanded. You flipped yourself over so your ass was at his mercy. “Mmm. That’s it.” 

He groped you before smacking the cheek hard. You yelped and fought the urge to rub your hand over the spot but you knew he wouldn’t like that. He smacked again in the same spot and it sent tingles to your pulsating pussy. You needed him back inside you. 

“Tetsu…” You whimpered as you raised your hips up to him. He leant down and kissed where his hands were previously. 

He wordlessly slid himself back in and began absolutely pounding you from behind. He pushed on your shoulders for leverage as he used your hole for his pleasure. You clenched around him with every thrust. At this point, you couldn’t stop moaning for him. It felt too fucking good to not. 

“Yeah? Does my pretty little slut like it? You like it when I fuck you like this?” He rasped above you. You couldn’t do anything but nod with a moan. He smirked. 

His hands gripped your shoulders even harder as he felt you get closer and closer. Your orgasm was ripped through you with a fury you’d only ever felt with him. You yelled out his name. You heard him laughing above you as he kept going. He wasn’t done yet. 

“Mmm, thats my good girl. Cumming all over my cock like that.” He slapped your ass again which made you scream.

“Cum in me… Please.” You begged him. You couldn’t take the sensitivity anymore. 

“You think you deserve it?” He asked. You nodded. “Words, baby.” 

“Yes… I’ve been so good for you, haven’t I?” You knew turning the question back would make him weak. 

“Yes, you have. My good girl.” He flipped you back over so he was face to face with you. He groped your tits as he rubbed circles on your clit. Your legs shook from the overwhelming pleasure. “Come on, cum one more time for me.” 

His words were all it took for you to clench around him once more. He moaned out your name as he painted the inside of you with his hot cum. He flopped himself on top of your chest with a grunt. 

“Tetsu?” You called. \

“Yeah, baby.” He said, breathlessly. 

“I love you.” You whispered. 

“I love you more.” He kissed your bare chest as you tangled your fingers in his hair. 

Passion presents itself in different ways. 

anakin skywalker, circa. the clone wars

kinktober 2023

masterlist

who else is better than hayden christensen to kick off the month? we also have the same name and that's so wicked.

summary: you and anakin have been fighting in the deadly war for far too long, and you finally begin to turn to each other for comfort in the trying times after so much loss.

warnings: smut, swearing

word count: 1,884 (i'm so sorry)

The war had been taking its toll on everyone. Yourself included in that list of people as Obi-Wan’s new Padawan. You hadn’t noticed it about Anakin however. He commanded your fleet and you trusted him with every fibre of your being. He was strong, wise and had animal like instincts. A true leader. He never ever wavered and that’s why there was so much confidence in him, even if he defied orders, he always did it with the best interest of the people.

“Y/L/N! I need you here. Focus please.” He touched your shoulder. You didn’t even noticed you zoned out. 

“Sorry, General.” He nodded. He continued with his attack plan. It was simple but unbelievably effective. He didn’t believe in making things unnecessarily complex, especially when it could put his men at risk. 

“General Skywalker, how are we supposed to sneak in when they have droids outside the whole ship?” A clone asked. 

“That’s were Y/N comes in.” He gestured towards you. You felt your face heat up. You thought you were just going to be piloting with Anakin, not heading the mission. “She will fly around the perimeter and act as a distraction while we strike underneath.” 

“You have faith in her flying? She’s just a kid.” Another one chimed in. He shook his head. 

“Myself and General Kenobi have yet to see a reason to not. She’s reliable and smart. Don’t second guess me again.” He glared. Him defending you made you have a funny feeling in your stomach. 

You took a moment to admire him in this state that came so naturally to him. His hair had been a bit more tousled than usual, and his uniform was more wrinkled than you remember it. You saw him run his hands through it before he came into the command centre. Stress. The lightsaber attached to his waist shined under the light of the hologram above him. His blue eyes were as fiery as usual and the intensity behind his voice made you think he received intel that he didn’t find favourable. You felt for your friend and mentor in the moment. Obi-Wan may be your master but Anakin was a true friend. He’d been through everything you had already. He understands you. 

“Okay. I think that’s everything. Let’s go men. We have a hard battle ahead. Fight hard and with valiance and I’ll be endlessly proud.” He smiled but his eyes looked sad. He knows not everyone in this room will be coming back. 

The clones left the room but Anakin grabbed your wrist, prompting you to stay behind. 

“What is it, General?” You thought he had something important to say but instead you were met with his sad blues looking into yours. 

“I just feel like something bad is going to happen with this mission. I just don’t want it happening to you. Please promise me you’ll be careful.” 

“Anakin, you’re the one who taught me how to fly, remember? I believe you called yourself the best pilot in the galaxy. If you can’t have faith in me, have it in yourself.” You smiled at him. He chuckled. 

“Point taken. I do have faith in you though, Y/N. So does Obi-Wan. We are both so incredibly proud of you. You’ve served the council well and I’m certain you’ll continue to do so.” 

“Then why are you so worried? I’ll be just fine.” You tried to reassure him, even though you didn’t fully believe yourself. It’s scary when he gets a feeling like that. He’s always been able to see ahead. 

“Okay, okay. Let’s go then.” He walked beside you and nudged your shoulder. You laughed and walked with him to the hangar. 

The mission was gruelling but a success. Anakin had lost many of his men this time around but you made it out okay. In fact, you pulled it off perfectly. You had taken down one of General Grievous’ droid ships. Only a grain of sand in the scheme of things however. After the mission, Anakin came out of it with a heavy heart. He thought no one was looking but you saw him ignite his saber and use it in a supply room. Items clattered everywhere while he took out his rage. What was he mad at? It could be anything. The loss of his men. The knowledge that there is still so much work that needs to be done and that means losing even more men. It hurt you to see him in so much pain like this. You couldn’t just leave him like that. 

“Hey…” You stood in the doorway. He looked at you, nostrils flared, eyes in a frenzy. 

“What are you doing here? Go get some rest.” He sighed and ran his hands through his hair again.  “I won’t be resting until you do, General.” You knew he hated when you called him that, but you took the risk of poking a little fun at him. God knows you both need the pick me up. “You know I don’t like that.” He had a small smile on his face. You stepped closer to him. 

“Yeah, but it’s good fun.” You smiled. He chuckled. 

“Come on, lets try to get some sleep at least.” 

You followed him up to the sleep chambers. He got in his bed and you got into yours. The sleep came on quickly but just before you drifted off, you heard a shout from the room next to yours. Anakin. You ran into his room and found him sitting up, bare chested and breathing heavily. 

“What’s wrong?!” You searched his distressed face for an answer. He blinked at you. 

“Nothing, nothing. Go back to sleep Y/N.” He sounded defeated. Not something you’d expect from the strong man across from you. 

“Come on. I’m not that naive. You can talk to me.” You sat on the edge of his bed. He tipped his head back and sighed. Something was definitely weighing on him. 

“I just can’t get their faces out of my head…” He said dejectedly.  

“Who are you talking about?”

“The clones. We lost so many. I know its the fortune of war but I still can’t help but feel responsible.” He rubbed his forehead. 

“Anakin, listen to me. None of this is your fault. In fact, you’re the only person I know fighting in this war that cares so much about his men. I admire you so much for that.” You put your hand on his. He sighed and closed his troubled eyes. 

“We all care, Y/N. Some of us are just more radical than others.” 

“You’d be the most radical I think.” You joked. He cracked a small smile. 

“I think you’re the only one keeping me sane here…” He whispered. 

“Lucky for you, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise?” He searched his eyes. 

“I promise.” You squeezed his hand. 

“Can you stay here with me? Just for tonight so I can sleep?” His eyes looked sad. Your face heated up. You had wished for this to happen. You’d never admit it but deep down you’ve always hoped something more would happen between the two of you. 

“Yeah. I can stay.” You smiled and he returned it. 

He laid back down and you did the same beside him. He sighed a few times and turned over too. You gently put your hand on his arm and started drawing circles. He hummed and turned on his side to face you. 

“That feels nice.” He murmured. He kept his eyes on yours as you continued. He leaned in a bit closer. You felt your heart beating faster in your chest. Is it finally happening? He gently placed his soft lips onto yours. 

You quickly returned the kiss and slid closer to him. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into his chest while never detaching from your lips. You whimpered into his mouth as he pushed his tongue in. You felt his mouth turn into a smirk after hearing it. He flipped himself over so he was between your legs. He pushed himself against you and started kissing down your neck.

“Is this okay?” His eyes were filled with concern. 

“Yes. Please keep going.” You pleaded. 

“As you wish.” He smiled and continued down your neck. He pulled your housecoat off revealing only underwear underneath. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to see you like this. I’ve thought about it all the time.” He admitted.  

“Me too.” You managed out between pants.

He quickly but carefully took off your underwear, revealing you completely to him. He stared for so long that you started to feel self conscious. You began to cover yourself again. 

“No no. Don’t do that. You just look so pretty, I can’t help myself.” He caressed your side, giving you goosebumps. 

“It’s your turn now, General.” His words gave you confidence. He shook his head and began taking off his clothes. His skin was such a beautiful colour and his battle scars just added to it even more. His metal arm glistened in the moonlight. You stared at his toned abdomen while you both took each other in. 

“Ready?” He was hard and not trying to hide it. His size was intimidating but definitely enticing at the same time. 

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” 

He slowly circled your clit with his hand while he pushed himself into you. You felt so full even after only half of him was inside. He groaned when he bottomed out and you clenched around him. 

“Fuck… So tight…” He hovered over you and rested his forehead against yours. The heat radiated against your skin so pleasantly as he pulled himself out and then back in again. The pleasure was unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. His pace was too slow for your liking however. 

“Anakin, please… Faster.” You whined. He chuckled and began to move his hips faster. His skin smacked against yours and he spent time rubbing your clit to get you there. 

“Fuck, Y/N.” He panted. His fingers moved faster against you and your legs began to shake. “You gonna cum for me?” 

“Y-yes. Please don’t stop…” He smiled down at you and kept the pace of both his fingers and his hips. He drew you closer and closer to the edge with every movement. The coil in your stomach was ready to snap at any moment. 

“Come on, sweetheart. Cum for me.” His words were enough to bring you over and you shook and clenched all around him. “That’s it, pretty girl.” He wasn’t done though. 

He pounded you even faster as he chased his own high. He pushed deep inside you one final time with a loud groan. He pulled out and his seed spilled out of your swollen hole. He collapsed beside you and pulled you into his arms. 

“That was-“

“Unreal.” You finished. 

“Yeah. I can’t believe it took us this long.” He laughed 

“Me neither. Kinda kicking myself for it.” 

“Just don’t tell Obi-Wan. He’ll kill me.” You laughed at the fact that he was still scared of Obi-Wan after all this time. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” You kissed his cheek and snuggled into his chest. 

A good sleep was on its way. 

masterlist

summary: harry had a rough day and needed to be a little more rough with you as well. 

word count: 1,353

you knew he had been in meetings all day. he was out of the house early this morning and wouldn’t be back until late. you had been at work yourself, but the thought of him being in his boring public relations discussions had been in the back of your head for all 8 hours of the shift. 

you checked your watch. an hour and a half before your day is over and only an hour before harry gets home. you heard your phone buzz on the desk. 

9:46 pm 

harry: baby… i’m home. eta? 

you: 90 minutes 

harry: specific. counting the seconds?

you: been thinking about you today. its hard not to

harry: cute. hurry home please. 

you: trying my best love 

harry: that’s my girl <3

the texts from him made the last little bit of the day go by a bit faster and you found yourself on the highway faster than you’d initially thought. not much longer before you get to see your boy. 

you put your key into the sticky lock and gave it a wiggle and a pull before the door finally swung open. you surveyed the living room but harry was nowhere to be found. 

“harry? i’m home!” you called out while bending down to untie your shoes. you heard shuffling upstairs then thudding footsteps on the oak stairs. 

“there she is.” his voice was a bit huskier than usual. he gently ran his hand up the underside of your thigh and rested it on your ass. “missed you.” 

you turned around to face him and met his darkened and sleepy looking eyes. 

“how were the meetings?” you asked, running your hands up his chest. 

“you know the answer to that. too many people, all of them saying the same shit with different verbs.” he rolled his eyes. 

“hm. if it makes you feel any better, i lost the key to the copier room today. took everyone like 45 minutes find it.” you giggled. he smiled. “but i was the one to really narrow it down.” “well i should hope so, you were the one who misplaced it, after all.” you gently smacked him. he chuckled and squeezed your cheeks together. you stuck your tongue out at him and slid out of his grasp to head upstairs. 

he wordlessly followed you and watched as you undressed and put on shorts and a tank top. 

“fuck baby, you wear that well…” he gawked at you. you felt the redness that was starting on your face move to the rest of your body. 

he made his way over to you swiftly and planted his lips onto yours. you reciprocated and wove your hands in his hair. it was soft, meaning he hadn’t put any product in it today. casual, just the way you like him.  he grunted softly into the kiss. his lips were so soft and he had the taste of a smoothie on his lips. he must’ve stopped for one before he got home. you pushed your body up against his toned abdomen and deepened the kiss. he grunted into your mouth. 

“mm, i missed your taste today.” he mumbled as he pulled away from you. he gently smacked your hip twice, prompting you to move into the bed. you obliged and quickly took your tank top off. with how thin it was, it wouldn’t have even made much of a difference in what he’d be seeing. 

“already so ready for me, huh? that’s my good girl.” he looked down at you. the angle made his eyes look a greedy shade of green. 

“always.” you whispered. he quickly pulled himself on the bed and between your legs and began the ravishing of your lips. he ran his hand that wasn’t holding him up to your chest and groped harshly. you gasped and he smirked against you, pushing his tongue further in your mouth. 

he ground his hips onto yours and you could feel how hard he was already pushed against your heat. you matched this rhythm. the friction was so good you needed to pull away from him to catch your breath. 

“please, harry. i need you so bad.” you stared into his eyes. he chuckled and his hands quickly found your shorts and pulled them off. he paused for a moment to look at you.  

“i don’t think i’ll ever get sick of seeing you like this for me.” he kissed up your legs to your chest. “only for me…” he mumbled against your goosebump covered skin. every touch of his lips would send searing hot electricity to your cunt. 

you couldn’t take the teasing anymore so you trailed your hand down to your pussy to relive something. you got maybe one rub in before harry noticed and grabbed your wrist. 

“not yet, darling. i’ll take care of you soon.” he smiled sweetly at you even though the most filthy thoughts were happening beneath him. 

he began kissing down your body again, and spend time kissing the inside of your thighs. the drawn out teasing was absolutely agonizing. you whined and pushed your hips up. he smirked and pushed you down with his hand on your pelvis. he finally made his way to your clit. his lips attached and bombarded it with his tongue. you cried out and pushed yourself harder onto his face. he groaned into you. the vibrations went up your entire body. his fingers slid into your sopping hole and he curled them in the most delicious way. you felt your orgasm blossoming in your core. 

“f-fuck! please, harry…” you moaned pathetically. he laughed. 

“please what, baby?” he pulled away from your clit but his fingers were still hitting that spot with every thrust. 

“please, can i cum?” you whined. “please.” 

“aw, yes you can. cum for me. all over my hand.” his mouth was back on your clit and that drew you over that cliff into pure bliss. you clenched hard against him and cried his name. 

“that’s it, that’s it baby. just like that.” he coaxed you through your high. he watched you twitch and smirked. so proud of what he just made you feel. you crossed your legs and closed your eyes. 

“not yet, doll.” he tapped your knee, wanting you to open your legs. you did and he had already pulled himself out of his pants. he wasted no time in sliding his tip up and down your slit to collect your orgasm and pushed himself into you. “fuck me.” he groaned. you whined as he pulled out a bit more only to push back in with more fervour. your legs shook with every thrust from his strong hips. 

“just a little more, baby. just a little harder…” he panted. you couldn’t do anything but nod as he set an unforgiving pace on your little cunt. 

you could feel the soreness creeping with every grunt from him but you didn’t care. all you knew is that his cock was in you and if felt too fucking good for anything else to matter in that moment. you felt yourself coming close to the edge again. he could tell but he didn’t let up for a second. you weakly clenched around him once again. he pushed himself deep and let go completely. you felt his cum paint the inside of your pussy as he moaned and whined into your ear. the sounds were downright sinful but so beautiful coming from him. beautiful men make beautiful sounds. he pulled out of you and the sensitivity made you cry out. he chuckled and pulled you into his heaving chest. both of your breaths settled and you nuzzled into him. 

“you okay, darling?” he whispered. “i’m sorry if that was too much. i missed you so much today and needed you…” 

“i’m okay. it felt so good.” you managed out, half asleep. you knew it would make his ego grow more but he needed to know. 

“hm. my good girl.” he kissed the top of your head and pulled the blanket up over the two of you. 

a good sleep was on its way. 

here you go darling! I hope you love it :)))

❃

this is an anonymous request! i wanted to say thanks to all of you who are requesting and asking questions! i love hearing from all of you so much! 

original request: hi! can you maybe write something about how harry and y/n met for the first time? i saw this tiktok that harry was petting a dog in chicago so maybe something like they met in a coffee shop and harry started petting y/n’s dog and it was love at first sight? thanks!! x

after being at work all day, one of your favourite things to do to unwind is go for a walk. when you unlocked the front door, you were greeted by a wagging tail and paws landing on your knees. you smiled as the dog yelped in excitement from your return. 

“hello sweet boy!” y0u cooed. he looked as if he had his own smile as you rubbed his back. 

you walked your way into the kitchen and saw that his food bowl was empty. explains the amount of excitement. you filled the bowl and he happily ate his dinner. so much for the greeting. you headed into your room to change into some leggings and a hoodie to take the boy for a walk. you put on your favourite pair of beat up nikes and grabbed his leash. the instant he hears the jingle of the buckle he’s bouncing off the walls, trying to get outside. it’s quite comical really. 

you locked the door behind you and led him down your favourite avenue. it’s always so pretty this time of year. the leaves are more vibrant with the different appearance of the chlorophyl and the air is so crisp and fresh. your dog seemed to enjoy it as well. you passed by a dog friendly cafe and decided to get a quick pick me up for the way home. 

when you walked in the storefront, half a dozen people were with dogs, and the other half weren’t. must be pretty good coffee then. you ordered yourself a large iced americano and got your dog one of the pre-made treats that were sitting in a baked goods display. you were waiting for your coffee when you heard an accented voice talking to your dog. 

“hello there, little one.” he held his hand out for a sniff. 

“oh, sorry. he has to say hello to everyone.” you apologized on behalf of your pooch with a chuckle. 

“’s all good. i’m happy to say hi. dogs like me for some reason.” his eyes met yours. they were a beautiful pale green and it made your stomach warm when you noticed that his gaze lingered on yours for a bit longer than one usually would. 

“that means you’re a good person!” you exclaimed, recalling something you read previously about animal instincts. “or maybe he just knows you’re harry styles.” you laughed. 

“guilty. is that really what that means?” the man smiled up at you. his perfect teeth showed behind his lips as he spoke. you returned the smile and could’ve sworn you saw his cheeks become redder. it didn’t take long for you to recognize him as harry styles, so the butterflies in your stomach became more frantic. 

“for y/n?” the barista called out your name before you could even answer. you turned to harry 

“well this is me!” you grabbed your drink and turned away from him, even though every bite in your body told you not to. 

“wait, y/n!” he called behind you. your stomach flipped at his use of your name. he stood even taller and closer to you than he did before. “this is gonna sound dumb, but i’d be kicking myself in the ass later if i didn’t ask for your number.” you smiled and immediately blushed. 

“i was hoping you’d ask.” you giggled and write your number down on a napkin for him. 

“thanks love. talk to you soon.” he grabbed his drink, which happened to also be an iced americano and left with a wink before you could even process what just happened. 

you walked out with a leash in your right hand, and your coffee in your left. you held a small smile on your face, thinking about how harry had called you by your name after hearing it only once, and how he drinks the same coffee and how his eyes glistened from the pot lights of the cafe. everything about his was just so perfect. 

you got back home and settled yourself on the couch with a book when your phone vibrated on the side table on your left side. 

unknown: y/n. so nice to meet you and your furry companion today. i hope to see you soon. how’s friday night? i’m not in town much longer but i need to spend some more time with you. let me know. - h. 

y/n: friday sounds good. see you then :) 

harry: can’t wait love :) 

even just through just a text message, he had some bizarre supernatural effect on you, and soon you’ll be spending a whole evening with him. all because of your little mutt. how crazy. 

word count: 776

requests: open!

aw! i'm so glad you liked it! it was my first time really writing angst so i'm glad it turned out decent enough!

masterlist

this is a request for @yoruse! thank you so much for your request my love, i had a good time writing this even through it absolutely broke my heart lol. i hope i was able to put your mind into words for you ! 

original request: hii can i order a harry styles x reader (angst) where harry swaps the reader for a coworker but he didn't know the reader was pregnant and would tell him the day he breaks up with her and years go by and they meet again and harry feels sorry for everything, no cute ending.  i'm sorry if i didn't understand correctly, english is not my first language i love your writing❤

*lowercase intended* 

you came home earlier than you had expected. the office had given you the day off and you didn’t mind at all. this afternoon would be the best time to catch up on some reading that you’ve been dying to finish. you unlocked the door and walked into your cute apartment that you shared with harry. shoes off, bag on the counter, fridge open and grabbing the milk for the coffee that was brewing just inches away. you stilled as you poured the milk, the coffee aroma flooding your senses. you heard a noise upstairs. harry’s home? he had told you that he had a recording session and that you wouldn’t see him until later that night. your heart filled with excitement as you were glad to be able to spend the day with your boy. you ran upstairs and suddenly the noises stopped as you continued walking. you opened the door and saw harry’s heaving chest under the white bedsheet. he had sweat on his forehead and his eyes were wide. 

“hey, y/n!” he smiled. 

“what are you doing?” you asked. you scanned the room and spotted a bra that certainly wasn’t yours. you felt your heart drop to your feet. 

“oh you know, just trying to nap.” that was a lie and you knew it. you took a couple steps into the room and began searching for anything else. you picked up the bra and placed it on the bed right beside him. 

“why are you lying to me?” you simply asked. 

“w-what are you talking about?” he laughed, more high pitched than usual. 

“where is she?” you looked under the bed. not there, you opened the closet and found a pair of familiar blue eyes avoiding eye contact with you. you remember her from a night a couple months ago when he took the band out for drinks. she had one of the shirts that you got him clutched to her front in an attempt to cover herself. you silently turned around and headed toward the door. harry’s eyes met yours. 

“y/n, please let me explain.” he pleaded. you shook your head and closed the door behind you as you left. you grabbed the bag you had set down and put the shoes you wore to work back on. the milk still placed next to the coffee maker. 

you got in your car and started driving to literally anywhere else. your mind was racing the entire time. how could he do this to you? after all you’ve done for him. all those times he told you he loved you, were all lies. it stung even more to know that she had been working with him for ages. who knows how long this was going on for. you heard your phone buzz on the seat next to you. you quickly glanced over to see harry’s name flood the screen on top of dozens of texts and missed calls. you sighed and felt tears prick behind your eyes. this ultimate betrayal is something that you never imagined would happen to you and him. you thought he loved you and you loved him back with everything you had. you pulled into a parking lot, as the tears had been too much to see through anymore. as wetness that fell from your face onto the steering wheel started to collect, you picked up your phone and called a friend to find a place to crash. 

weeks had passed and harry’s persistent pleas for you to hear him never stopped. you needed some of your things from the apartment so you decided to text him to let him know you were stopping by. after you opened the door, you saw him sitting on the living room couch with his head in his hands. he heard your entrance and whipped his head up to look at you. 

“y/n.” he smiled and sighed. 

“i just need some things from upstairs and then i’m leaving.” you walked past him, avoiding his gaze. 

“y/n, please. we need to talk about this.” his voice wavered. as much as you hated to admit it, he was right about that. you did need to talk to him. 

“fine.” you sat down in the leather chair that was across from him. the coffee table had reflected both of your expressions back. 

“i just want to start out by saying i’m sorry. i’m sorry for two things. for hurting and betraying you like i did, and for hurting you more by what i’m about to say next.” his eyes were bloodshot, and there were bags where there is usually warmth and colour. “this whole situation has made me realize that we should break up. i hate hurting you like this but i just don’t see this relationship continuing.” 

you nodded. you stayed silent for a while to digest what was just said to you. 

“say something please. anything.” he pleaded. 

“do you want to break up because you don’t love me anymore, or because you feel guilty and you can’t look at me without feeling it?” you asked. he stared with his mouth slightly agape. 

“y/n, don’t make me say it.” he sighed. 

“say what, harry!? that i wasn’t enough for you? that she’s better than me? or maybe one woman just doesn’t do it for you anymore.” you stood and glowered at him. he shook his head and stood, now taller than you. 

“god, do you realize how stupid you sound right now? these things happen, whether we like it or not. i was spending a lot of time with her and one thing just led to another. it’s not like i was trying to hurt you intentionally.” he said, exasperated. 

“why didn’t you try spending more time with your actual fucking girlfriend?” you shouted at him. 

“come on, y/n, you know it’s not like that. this is just something that i needed to do.” “something you needed to do? are you seriously using that as a valid response to you literally cheating on me with some girl you’ve been working with for three months? you know what, if that’s all it takes for you to forget about our entire relationship, then there was no point in us being together to begin with.” you sighed. 

“to be completely honest, i’ve been thinking that myself lately.” he murmured. you shook your head. 

“i’ll be back friday afternoon to get my things, and i don’t want to see you again. ever.” you spat. just before leaving, the sound of his voice stopped you. 

“you know, i really did love you. so much. i just think our time is over.” 

“harry, i don’t really think you even gave our time a chance. i think we had something amazing. i was even looking forward to starting a family with you.” you said, tears filling your eyes. his frown became deeper as you ran your hand over your abdomen. the twinge in your heart became stronger as the door closed gently against your back. 

you got back to your friend’s apartment and collapsed on her couch. thankfully, she wasn’t home. your whole being felt like it was in shambles. the man you loved more than anything and the father of your unborn child wasn’t even interested in trying to save your relationship. the tears felt never ending as they cascaded down your cheeks. hot splashes landed in your lap as you held your face in your hands. the emotion wasn’t sadness, nor was it anger. it was pure confusion. was he really that unhappy? why didn’t he just communicate with you? the feeling didn’t subside once, even while you were packing away your things. you left one last word for harry on the kitchen counter. 

harry, 

i truly hope she’s everything you’ve ever wanted. i hope she can give you what i had failed to provide for you. you deserve nothing but the best, and i wish you well. hopefully you become more considerate of others as the years go on. i think that’s something you really need to work on. as for our child, there is no need for you to feel responsible in the slightest. i will do this on my own. they will never know of you. nonetheless, i have left the key in the usual spot, as i obviously won’t be needing it anymore. 

goodbye, 

y/n. 

a lone tear trickled down your cheek and onto the paper, staining it. you tried to wipe it away, but all it did was smudge the ink of the note. part of you feel guilty for keeping his child from him but at the same time, he took the only good part of your life that you knew away from you. this way just avoids the mess of sharing a child. he wants her more anyway. 

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

you walk down the street with your young daughter’s hand in your own. she pulls you along as you try to peek in any of the store windows. you’ve been in the market for a new pair of doc martens. 

“this way! come on!” she continued to pull you along. 

“easy, love. don’t take my hand off!” you shouted after her. she wasn’t paying any attention to her surroundings when she walked into a man. 

you immediately started apologizing for her actions, when you met his eyes. the eyes of the man who broke your heart 5 years before. he stood there alone, dressed in all black clothing that he knew how to wear so damn well. his hair was perfectly messy, and you know all he does is run his hand through it for it to look like that. truly infuriating. he smiled his smile at you and the pain that you tried so hard to suppress started forcing its way back to the surface and it was excruciating. 

“y/n.” he breathed. 

“harry.” it felt like a whisper rather than a proper utterance. 

“how’ve you been?” he asked. 

“busy.” you replied, gesturing to the girl staring up at the two of you. he smiled and directed his attention to her. 

“hello, little one. i’m harry. your mum and i used to be friends back in the day.” friends, huh? he extended out his hand. your daughter looked to you for assurance as she wrapped her tiny hand around his two large fingers. she smiled bashfully and clung to your leg. he has that effect on people, no matter who they are. 

“how’s chloe?” it came out more bitter than you had intended.

“ah, we didn’t last long. i think i realized that she wasn’t the one. i had already met the one.” he stared into your eyes and it brought immediate redness to your cheeks. 

“where is the one now?” you asked. 

“well she seems to have come back into my life pretty recently.” he smiled. you turned your face to avoid his gaze. 

“yeah and i think she’s just about to leave it again.” you grabbed your girl’s hand and started to walk away, until harry’s large hand clasped your shoulder to stop you. 

“y/n, wait. just hear me out.” you turned around wordlessly to look at him. “i know i fucked up. big time. and i know there’s nothing i can do to fix it but i just need you to know how truly sorry i am. i loved you. i still do, and frankly, i think i always will. i can’t explain why i did what i did, i just know it was the single dumbest thing i’ve done. i’m hoping one day, you’ll find it in you to forgive me.” 

his eyes pleaded with yours as you sighed. his words were heartfelt, sure, but you knew that there wasn’t anything either of you could do to heal that wound. no matter what, no matter how much time passes, you’re always going to remember her eyes when you opened the closet that day and that’s not something you can look past. 

“i’m the one who’s sorry harry. i’m sorry for trusting you as much as i did. you and i could’ve had such a happy life. i hope you can find something amazing again. have a good life.” you turned your back to him one final time. he called out your name but you ignored it. turning back now wouldn’t make for anything good happening. 

requests: open!

⚙︎

Friends since middle school isn’t something to sneeze about. You walk home with him everyday after school, as you live on the same street. He never hesitates to give you the shirt off his back, literally. If he notices any little tremble or shaky breath from you, he instantly drapes his jacket over your shoulders. You forgot your lunch? He’ll give you half of his, which are also very good because they’re always home cooked by him. Overall, just a 10/10 dude. 

“Daichi, I’m fine! I’ll be home soon for something to eat anyway.” You laughed and shook your head at him. 

“Just take it! It’ll make me happy!” He smiled that damn smile of his that made you do anything he asked. 

“Fine.” You huffed, but then smiled at him. He handed you one of his onigiri out of his bento. It Was good, and you needed it. He smiled in content when he saw you take a bite. 

“See? It’s good, isn’t it? I made these ones myself.” He smiled sheepishly. You laughed. 

“It’s great, Daichi. Thank you.” You sighed and leaned your head on his shoulder. He hummed contentedly. 

“You know,” he started after a little while. “I really like you.” 

“Well, duh, we’ve known each other forever.” You looked up at him. His face reddened and he laughed. 

“No, I mean… I wanna know you more.” He said, almost a whisper. 

“You know everything about me alread-“ Oh. You froze and just stared at him. Your heart was thrumming in your chest and you couldn’t wipe the stupid grin off your face. You couldn’t believe he felt the same! 

“I knew I shouldn’t have said anything.” He groaned and brought his hands to his face. You put your hand on his shoulder with a smile. 

“Daichi, why don’t you come over after school? We can talk then.” You kissed his very red and warm cheek. 

“O-ok! I’ll see you then.” He smiled and rubbed his face where you kissed him. He was very thankful that the team had the day off. 

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

As soon as the final bell rang, anticipation bubbled up inside you. You paced the hallway by his classroom, waiting for him to come out. He walked out the door laughing, with Sugawara trailing behind him. 

“Hey, Y/N!” Suga hugged you quickly and punched Daichi’s shoulder. You, Suga, Kiyoko, Daichi and Asahi became a really close group after your first year. “See you guys tomorrow!” 

You both waved at him and wordlessly started walking down the stairs to the first floor. Students were congregating in the foyer and it was crazy loud. Even if Daichi had said something, you wouldn’t have heard it. 

As soon as you walked out the door, the noise quickly diminished. Daichi looked down at you and cleared his throat. 

“Hey, I’m sorry if I freaked you out earlier, I know what I said was weird, so just forget it.” He smiled slightly. “Did I give off the vibe that I didn’t feel the same? Because trust me, I do!” You stopped and grabbed his hand. His smile grew bigger and his cheeks, pinker. 

“Thank God. I’m so glad you do.” His smile never faded as he continued walking again. 

With hands intertwined, a comfortable silence fell upon you two. This is how is often goes. The walk home lets you decompress and just having him beside you, makes it easier to do so. Your street wasn’t far and you felt excitement wash over you as your house came into view. The grip on your hand tightened, so you knew Daichi felt it too. You grabbed your house key from your backpack with your other hand and fumbled to unlock the door. You took your shoes off and he did the same. You led him to your room and sat on your bed. 

“So,” He sighed. “I hope I wasn’t too forward or anything. I’ve been thinking about this for a while.” 

“Not at all. I’ve been thinking about it too.” You smiled. 

“Really?” Daichi’s eyes lit up. You chuckled at the childlike expression on his face. 

“Yeah, since the end of our first year.” “I’ve been thinking about it ever since we started high school.” 

“So that’s why Asahi and Suga talk about our first year so much.” You smiled at their immaturity. 

“Yeah, they know it bugs me, so they do it.” He laughed. 

“Typical.” His smile shrunk but still remained sincere. He slowly leaned in closer to you. You reciprocated. He brought his hands up to your face gingerly. He gently connected your lips and allowed you time to situate yourself. You tangled your hands in his hair to pull him closer. He grunted in surprise and deepened the kiss. You broke apart from him to lay back on your bed. He smiled at you and was quick to slip between your legs and continue. He gently rocked his hips against yours as his kisses became more desperate and needy. You quietly moaned into the kiss and he smirked. The bastard knows what he’s doing. As this continued, the heat pooling between your legs was becoming unbearable. You bucked your hips to meet his torturously slow movements. He groaned quietly. 

“Y/N, if you keep doing that to me, I’m going to want to do things that aren’t pretty enough to say out loud.” He looked at you with dark, lust filled eyes. You smiled devilishly at him. 

“What if I want you to?” You asked innocently. He groaned again and started planting wet kisses all over your collarbones and neck. You gasped and moaned at his actions 

“Lift your arms for me, baby.” He said as he reached the neckline of your shirt. The pet name made your heart and other parts of you flutter, so you did as he said. He slipped your shirt off quickly and stopped to admire your figure. “I cannot believe I missed this for all this time.”

You blushed and covered yourself with your arms. He shook his head and smiled at you. He started kissing the top of your collarbones and made his way down. He gently licked each nipple with care. You gasped and immediately ran your fingers through his hair. He chuckled and continued his way down your body. He sucked dark hickeys on each of your hip bones just below the waistline of your skirt. He hooked his fingers in the elastic and looked up at you for reassurance. Your red face and lip tucked between your teeth was all the reassurance he needed. He tantalizingly pulled your school skirt down your thighs and left a kiss on your clothed, damp pussy. 

“Daichi… please.” You whimpered at his rudely slow movements. 

“What do you want, baby?” He smirked up from between your legs, your skirt nowhere to be seen in the near vicinity. 

“Your mouth on me. I need it so bad.” You moaned. He chuckled and shook his head. 

“Hmm, I guess I can’t keep you waiting for that long.” He moved the fabric of your panties to the side and left a firm kiss on your clit. 

He started at the bottom of your sopping slit and moved his skilled tongue up and down and finally settled on your clit. He sucked hard and applied more and more pressure. You arched your back and pushed your cunt harder on his face. 

“Fuck! Daichi!” You pulled at his hair to pull him even closer, if that was possible. 

“Does that feel good?” He chuckled into you and the vibrations sent you crazy. 

“Y-yes!” You could barely get your words out as your legs were shaking and your nerves were overwhelmed with sensation. 

“Cum for me, baby. You can do it.” He said lowly. He continued his movements and didn’t let up for a second. You skin crawled with heat and you felt your stomach tighten. You were close. 

“Daichi, fuck! Please don’t stop!” Your legs shook harder and you felt your muscles spasming. The pure ecstasy flowed thorough your veins and Daichi’s mouth stayed latched onto your clit all the way through your high. His eyes flicked up towards your face and your expression and pretty noises coming from your mouth made his painfully hard cock twitch in his pants. 

“That’s it, baby. You did so good.” He said as he wiped his face with his sleeve. He quickly slipped off his pants after pulling out a small silver package from his wallet and pulled his well endowed cock out of his boxers. “Are you ready for me?”

You looked at his hand where he was fisting his cock and putting on the condom. You eyes widened and your pussy clenched around nothing in anticipation. He chuckled at your reaction and situated himself over you. 

“I’ll be careful, baby, I promise. I won’t hurt you.” He smiled then kissed you sweetly. You smiled and sighed at how good Daichi is. Honestly, a dream boy. You pushed the back of his thigh with your heel, encouraging him to push inside of you. 

He slowly moved his hips and pushed the tip past your tight hole. The painful stretch hurt just the right amount and the sweet grunts and pants coming from Daichi distracted you a little bit. He bottomed out and the full feeling inside of you made you clench hard around him. 

“Fuck, baby, you’re so fucking tight… Taking my cock so good.” He muttered into your neck. He started moving his hips slowly and hit that sweet spot inside of you with every movement. 

“Feels s-so good.” You choked out. He chuckled lowly and sucked a dark mark into your neck. 

“Yeah, baby? Let me take care of you.” His thrusts became faster and more desperate, and his mouth left many sloppy kisses on your neck as he got closer to his high. 

“Daichi, I’m gonna cum.” You barely whispered to him as you reached your second high. 

“I know, baby. Me too. Look at me.” His hand started circling your clit and his rough thrusts never let up. You looked in his eyes as the white hot waves of pleasure washed over your entire body. Your eyes never left his, even though the edges of your vision started to blur. Daichi pushed himself completely inside of you as he finished. He collapsed on top of you and held you close to him on your bed. His shirt was still on so you could still smell his intoxicating cologne on him, which made your post-orgasm euphoria even better. Your bare chest lay flush against his as you closed your eyes.

Not a word was said for some time until you felt Daichi stir a little bit. 

“Everything okay, Daichi?” You looked at his dopamine flooded smile and caressed his cheek. 

“I just cannot believe I finally have you. I’ve wanted this for so long, Y/N.” He kissed your forehead and pulled you closer into his chest. Your cheeks reddened at his sweet words and you groaned.

“Daichi, you could’ve had me at literally any time. Without hesitation.” You kissed his warm neck and felt the vibrations of his laugh on your lips. 

“Yeah, would’ve been nice if I had the balls to ask. Suga has been bugging me forever about it, but now he’ll shut up.” He laughed, and so did you. 

“He’s a little shit, eh?” 

“Mhmm, that’s for sure.” His phone went off and he quickly checked it. “Fuck me!” 

“What’s wrong?” You sat up with your blanket wrapped around your chest. 

“I was supposed to help Noya help Hinata receive tonight!” He threw his pants on and quickly slipped on his volleyball jacket. Just as he was about to leave your room, he paused and looked at you with a fond smirk. “I’ll text you later, probably around 9?”

“Sure! I’ll be waiting.” You smiled and he bent down to kiss you softly before rushing out of your house. You heard the front door close moments after and you smiled knowing that Daichi was yours, and you were his. 

masterlist

❀

Math hadn’t gone well. He thought he did better on that quiz. He studied for three whole days before hand. Not to mention, he already had a slipping mark from a test last month so this will bring it down a few more percent. His lunch had spilled all in his backpack and ruined his work for the next classes. He was also VERY hungry because he didn’t eat that morning. And of course, he didn’t have money on him for the vending machine. He had left his wallet on his desk in a hurry. His knee pad slipped when he went for a particularly hard receive at practice. The wooden gym floor collided with the nerve right beside his knee cap and shot pain all through his leg. Every time he tried to do anything else after that, his leg screamed at him in protest and he just had enough. On the walk home, he wanted to relax and hopefully distract himself from the painful and now, prominent, bruise forming on his knee. Much to his chagrin, his headphones had stopped working in his left ear. They were expensive too. They were a birthday present from Akiteru. Sighing in frustration, he found himself walking the opposite way of his house. In the direction of yours. His thought process wasn’t something that was the way of himself. It was jumbled, filled with frustration, anguish, and exhaustion. His head was contradicting everything about him. The painful knee stepped up to your doorstep. He couldn’t decide whether to knock or ring the doorbell. He went with the latter. 

“Hell-… Tsukki? What’s wrong? You told me you were going to be busy after practice.”

“Changed my mind.” He mumbled. 

You looked at him. His eyes looked tired and his shirt was untucked. Strange. 

“Okay… Want some tea?” You stood out of the doorway to let him in. You could tell, even by the smallest disruption of his routine, or rather his demeanour, something wasn’t right. 

He wordlessly walked into your house and plunked down on the stool in front of the counter. His head lay in his hands and his fingers tangled in his blond hair. You frowned at him, even though he wasn’t paying attention. 

“I’m waiting for that tea, dummy.” Hm, must’ve felt your glare his back. At least he’s still teasing you. That’s a good sign. 

You put water in the kettle and sat across from the sulking string bean. Your hands found home under your chin and your brows furrowed as you looked at his tired expression. 

“Hey, talk to me. What’s wrong? And don’t tell me ‘nothing’. I know you, Kei.” You softened your face slightly and ran your hand gently across his soft forearm.  

“Damn it…” He sighed. His golden eyes met your sparkling ones. I trust her. I love her. He thought. “Everything that could’ve went wrong today, went wrong. It just all piled up on me and I’m just so damn tired.” His tone was soft but his face held anger and frustration. 

“I’m sorry, love.” You took his hand in yours and kissed it. A ghost of a smile played on his face.“What can I do?”

Underneath his angry outer shell, he was melting inside. He loved how you didn’t try to smother him like his mother would. He really appreciated how you always gave him the option to have some space and time to himself. But there was nothing he wanted more than to have you in his arms and maybe a nap. He is still a growing boy, after all. 

“Come here.” He stood up and met you on the other side of the counter. 

You stood and let his arms wrap around you. He smelled of fresh laundry and his deodorant. A comforting smell. Smells like home and unconditional love. He gripped the underside of your thighs and walked you up the stairs. Laughter erupted from you and you saw a small smirk on his face. He plopped down on your bed with you still wrapped around him and threw multiple of your blankets over the two of you. 

“Thank you.” A small smile finally adorned his lips. His breathing became deeper and his muscles relaxed beneath you. “For everything. You’re amazing.”

You kissed his cheek. The rare moment of sentimentality is something that needs to be cherished. 

“Don’t be getting soft on me now, Tsukishima.” You flicked his forehead. 

“Shut up. Or I won’t tell you I love you.” He frowned but then chuckled soon after. The sound coming from his chest vibrated against you and comforted you. 

“Oh, please. We both you you’ll do it anyway.” You laughed with him. 

“Fuck you.” He paused to kiss you softly. “I love you.” The change from hostility filled with humour, made you laugh. Ironic, isn’t it?

“I love you too, Tsukki.” You nuzzled your head against his chest. He placed his hand on your back and lightly rubbed it. 

“Now, shut up so I can sleep.” You slapped his arm slightly and he kissed your forehead. 

The comfort of him holding you, and the overcast sky settling a soft light in your bedroom made it easy for both of you to divulge in the sweet slumber you both desperately needed. Tea that was promised, now forgotten.